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[Filthy Casual]

What to do when it's gone? When you can't be arsed to get up in the morning anymore. When it's the weekend and you're just sitting in front of a TV screen with no desire to do anything. When everything seems like a chore and work drains you. When you feel the years slipping away but can't seem to get a grasp on them. When nothing seems worth the effort and all you feel is pessimism and bitterness.

What do you do? Has anybody fought through this perpetual darkness and found the light? And I mean true light, not that artificial shit. I just feel like I keep slipping, I wrestle with my mind and my emotions so much but I can never seem to find an even flow. It's always up and down, with the slightest things knocking me off balance. Is happiness even real or was it just an illusion?

 

[GHG]

I've never had an issue with this to the extent that you have but having well defined and time-bound goals will ensure you get your arse into gear. Once you've achieved those goals then set new ones, so on and so forth.

Never settle.

 

[Filthy Casual]

I've never had an issue with this to the extent that you have but having well defined and time-bound goals will ensure you get your arse into gear. Once you've achieved those goals then set new ones, so on and so forth.

Never settle.

I hear you. But why not settle? Is there any point in having goals in the first place?

 

[Tesseract]

pick something you wanna live for and press forward

through hell if you must, carry the torch

 

[GHG]

I hear you. But why not settle? Is there any point in having goals in the first place?

The point of having goals is to always improve where possible on a personal level, learn new things, try new things, go to new places, etc.

Life is to be experienced, not merely existed in.

Don't get me wrong, there are some people who are perfectly happy with "settling", but those people often also have a personality type that means they are not prone to getting mental health issues in doing so.

If you are not happy while settling then you need to do something about it and make some changes. You need to have things to look forward to.

 

[mortal]

I start doing push ups. Like 100.

Gets my blood coursing, and helps shakes off oncoming feeling of fatigue. Helps me focus when finishing this singular task.
If I can knock out 100 consecutive push ups, whatever my next task is shouldn't be much of an issue.

 

[Tesseract]

I start doing push ups. Like 100.

Gets my blood coursing, and helps shakes off oncoming feeling of fatigue. Helps me focus when finishing this singular task.
If I can knock out 100 consecutive push ups, whatever my next task is shouldn't be much of an issue.

best advice is best

get up, shake off the rust, reload, and rekt

 

[MaestroMike]

steve jobs had it right brah we're all gonna be dead in 50/60/70 years. life is short thats usually good enough motivation for me so gotta have some fun b4 the party is over. anyways i try to practice good diet/nutrition and time/energy management. one's energy/time is a very scarce resource so im super picky about any activities that i partake in trying to estimate how much time and energy its gonna cost me and if its worth the return on investment.

 

[Filthy Casual]

The point of having goals is to always improve where possible on a personal level, learn new things, try new things, go to new places, etc.

Life is to be experienced, not merely existed in.

Don't get me wrong, there are some people who are perfectly happy with "settling", but those people often also have a personality type that means they are not prone to getting mental health issues in doing so.

If you are not happy while settling then you need to do something about it and make some changes. You need to have things to look forward to.

Yeah I guess you're right. Although I do sometimes feel that since this society is merely a creation and nothing about it is necessarily true, how am I to know if these worldly desires that we have possess any real meaning, you know? I think about all the evil in the world and the millions who are condemned to live in misery, and just the general state of today's society. What is there really to gain? Why do I even deserve to have any kind of fulfillment or dreams when so many don't have a chance?

Sorry for the rambling lol I'm just spilling all these inner thoughts out. It's interesting to hear your guys' opinions.

 

[Filthy Casual]

I start doing push ups. Like 100.

Gets my blood coursing, and helps shakes off oncoming feeling of fatigue. Helps me focus when finishing this singular task.
If I can knock out 100 consecutive push ups, whatever my next task is shouldn't be much of an issue.

100 push ups? I'd struggle to hit 40

 

[Filthy Casual]

pick something you wanna live for and press forward

through hell if you must, carry the torch

What is it that you want to live for?

 

[Punished Miku]

What to do when it's gone? When you can't be arsed to get up in the morning anymore. When it's the weekend and you're just sitting in front of a TV screen with no desire to do anything. When everything seems like a chore and work drains you. When you feel the years slipping away but can't seem to get a grasp on them. When nothing seems worth the effort and all you feel is pessimism and bitterness.

What do you do? Has anybody fought through this perpetual darkness and found the light? And I mean true light, not that artificial shit. I just feel like I keep slipping, I wrestle with my mind and my emotions so much but I can never seem to find an even flow. It's always up and down, with the slightest things knocking me off balance. Is happiness even real or was it just an illusion?

For me, I use multiple emotions to push forward.

I've definitely gotten results from anger or vanity. I see lots of people my age that look like shit, and I don't want to be like that. So I push through times of low motivation by thinking of people I don't like, and how I don't want to be that lol. Or thinking of someone that made me mad, or underestimated me, and making sure I prove to myself that they're wrong. Anger works. Work kicks my ass too, and I look at everyone else at work and they look like shit. So I get mad at myself, and say you know what, fuck that lol, I'm not going down that road no matter what it takes. Then I go to the gym even after work, even if I'm tired.

However, it's unhealthy to be focused on dark emotions for long. Ultimately, you'll want to transition to a more sustainable, long term, happier motivation. Whether it's just making sure you see sunshine everyday, or enjoying workouts, or finding motivation in positive music, or positive results, that's the long term path you want to end up with.

The internet is largely amoral, and looks down on any introspection into philosophy or morality. But if you genuinely can't think of positive reasons why life is good, you may find reading books on it to be helpful. And ultimately, the best thing to do is make social connections with positive people. And if you have no other people around, get a pet. Get a happy dog and take him running every day. Cats are awesome too, but they aren't really into running. Pets don't need a reason to get up every day. They're just happy.

 

[Tesseract]

What is it that you want to live for?

all i need is my family, good health, skulls to crack, girls to fuck, a computer, and training equipment

i'm a simple man

 

[Punished Miku]

It sounds like you're depressed, and need to address some basics, whether its health, work, or social life. That's not easy.

But if you get past that phase, the highest tier of life fulfullment is creation. The happiest and most fulfulled people create things. For most people, it's creating a kid. But you see the same peace and motivation with any creation, whether it's someone who can carve little wood figures, or paints, or makes music, or makes movies, or makes websites. Even if it's the smallest little creation ever, creating something from your own imagination is the path to enrichment.

 

[mortal]

100 push ups? I'd struggle to hit 40

Then struggle with 40, then eventually 50, then eventually 60, then eventually 70, and so on.
The struggle is the best part. Think about it, you're actually getting stronger when you're enduring that period of struggle.
With little to no resistance, how can anything become stronger? Same can be said of your mind & body, simple as that.

You can even do it in sets of 10. The goal is to complete however many you set out to do.

 

[-Arcadia-]

Therapist.

If you break your arm, you get medical help to put it back perfectly right, correct? You don't just wrap a bunch of duct tape around it.

It's the same with issues of the mind. Start there. You're hurting, and they can help you much more than a bunch of well-intentioned people on a message board can.

Likewise, these topics, no matter how positive the intention, draw in poor quality posters like flies to play victimhood games, or drown the forum in an endless cycle of woe-is-me. It happened on original Gaf, Reset, and recently, even here for a while before thankfully abating.

So. Therapist. You deserve the best quality care. Tell us how it goes.

 

[Filthy Casual]

I guess these long-term goals that some of you guys have mentioned is one of the things I struggle with. I think that is largely owing to pessimism, which I think once deeply rooted is very difficult to shake off. I just can't seem to feel optimism anymore, and excitement about future possibilities. I mean in the last year quite a lot has changed in my life and for the better but still I feel an emptiness and depression that won't leave me alone.

And it's hard to live I feel for the future, when the future is so uncertain. I want to feel peace and contentment in the now but this restless mind won't allow me to chill. There's always something bugging me you know, saying I should be better and do more. But then the devil on my shoulder points to the easy way out. Why bother? Nothing satisfies you anyway. All I live for is junk food and sex right now.

 

[Punished Miku]

I guess these long-term goals that some of you guys have mentioned is one of the things I struggle with. I think that is largely owing to pessimism, which I think once deeply rooted is very difficult to shake off. I just can't seem to feel optimism anymore, and excitement about future possibilities. I mean in the last year quite a lot has changed in my life and for the better but still I feel an emptiness and depression that won't leave me alone.

And it's hard to live I feel for the future, when the future is so uncertain. I want to feel peace and contentment in the now but this restless mind won't allow me to chill. There's always something bugging me you know, saying I should be better and do more. But then the devil on my shoulder points to the easy way out. Why bother? Nothing satisfies you anyway. All I live for is junk food and sex right now.

Getting ripped makes sex more fun. Makes wearing clothes and going out more fun. And the actual workout portion is the best anti-depressant known, better than any drug. And working out hard will make you crave junk food a lot less. Go running after eating junk food and you'll want to vomit lol. It forces you to eat better (and better food, once you lose the taste for junk food, actually tastes better).

This sounds petty, but plan a trip dude. I did that. Plan a hiking trip at some awesome destination, like the Grand Canyon, or Yellowstone. Pay for it months in advance. Then you'll be forced to go to the gym, and on a time limit.

Go see this in person, and walk around nature.

Even if you're conflicted on deeper philosophical issues that sound like moral relativism (what is the point in life at all?), then you can still try to cram in as many fun things in your life as possible. Go see cool shit, and do fun things. Travel wakes you up like nothing else.

It sounds like you will push to rock bottom first though, before you finally get fed up with it and fight back. And that's normal. Lots of people do it. My advice though is to be aware of the fact that this is where you're going. You're going to push to the bottom, claiming you don't care. But once you finally hit that bottom, you will finally remember you care and turn it around. So be aware of that going on right now, and maybe you'll break out of it sooner.

 

[Filthy Casual]

Therapist.

If you break your arm, you get medical help to put it back perfectly right, correct? You don't just wrap a bunch of duct tape around it.

It's the same with issues of the mind. Start there. You're hurting, and they can help you much more than a bunch of well-intentioned people on a message board can.

Likewise, these topics, no matter how positive the intention, draw in poor quality posters like flies to play victimhood games, or drown the forum in an endless cycle of woe-is-me. It happened on original Gaf, Reset, and recently, even here for a while before thankfully abating.

So. Therapist. You deserve the best quality care. Tell us how it goes.

I don't really believe in therapy for depression, as I tend to think that it's not really an illness. It's just a state of mind, I feel like feeling doubts and questioning the meaning of things is just part of a natural progression. I mean, we live in a crazy world. What is really true? I don't feel like I'm ill per se, so I wouldn't want to waste the time of a therapist or spend money on that kind of thing. Society seems to follow this notion at the minute that we should all be happy as Larry and if we feel negative emotions then that must mean we are ill. I don't really believe that.

But yes I understand your second point. I don't want this thread to be the thread of self-loathing. I'm not looking for any pity just a discussion. We all have different outlooks and have had different experiences so I'm just looking to draw on some of that if it's possible because I know there's going to be some intelligent people here. It is a gaming forum for nerds after all

 

[RainblowDash]

Make yourself some new routines like going to the gym and keeping your place clean.

 

[mortal]

And it's hard to live I feel for the future, when the future is so uncertain.

Uncertainty comes from believing you have little control over what's happening to you. Good news is that it's actually not that hopeless for you lol. Instead, you've fallen for an illusion. an illusion that's lead you to always robbing yourself of agency. Every time you make an excuse as to why you shouldn't bother, there will also a reason why you should bother. Simple logic will help you weigh the benefit vs the detriment. For example, [If I sit for too long, my back and ass will hurt; so I'll get up and move around more often, maybe even do a little stretching. Which always makes me feel better.]
We often underestimate how much our physical state affects our mental state at any given point, and vice versa.

I agree that long-term is crucial to always keep in mind when making decisions. I'd also suggest that the short-term goals are just as important. Give yourself some smaller tasks you can complete in less than a day, or even a smaller task you can complete in a hour.

The very minute you consider it in your mind, you begin to do it. Doing small productive tasks on a daily basis will foster productive habits. Gradually exchanging shitty habits for better, more productive habits. You don't even need to go all in from the start. Just start with one singular task.

 

[Filthy Casual]

It sounds like you're depressed, and need to address some basics, whether its health, work, or social life. That's not easy.

But if you get past that phase, the highest tier of life fulfullment is creation. The happiest and most fulfulled people create things. For most people, it's creating a kid. But you see the same peace and motivation with any creation, whether it's someone who can carve little wood figures, or paints, or makes music, or makes movies, or makes websites. Even if it's the smallest little creation ever, creating something from your own imagination is the path to enrichment.

I think there's definitely some truth in that. One of the last times I actually felt focused and content was a few years ago when I had to do my uni dissertation. Writing 15k words was supposed to be daunting but actually just focusing my mind and making it happen was actually pretty enjoyable and calming. I guess my mind had too much to process to start thinking too deep.

 

[Filthy Casual]

Uncertainty comes from believing you have little control over what's happening to you. Good news is that it's actually not that hopeless for you lol. Instead, you've fallen for an illusion. an illusion that's lead you to always robbing yourself of agency. Every time you make an excuse as to why you shouldn't bother, then also a reason why you should. Literally can't have one without the other right?

I agree that long-term is crucial to always keep in mind when making decisions. I'd also suggest that the short-term goals are just as important. Give yourself some smaller tasks you can compete in less than a day, or even a smaller task you can complete in a hour.

The very minute you consider it in your mind, you begin to do it. Do small productive tasks on a daily bass will foster productive habits. Gradually exchanging shitty habits for better, more productive habits. You don't even need to go all in from the start. Just start with one singular task.

Thanks for the advice dude.

 

[mortal]

Thanks for the advice dude.

Glad to help, dude. I've been there from time to time.

 

[etp_1]

all i need is my family, good health, skulls to crack, girls to fuck, a computer, and training equipment

i'm a simple man

 

[-Arcadia-]

I don't really believe in therapy for depression, as I tend to think that it's not really an illness. It's just a state of mind, I feel like feeling doubts and questioning the meaning of things is just part of a natural progression.

Reread your own words. Does this sound like just a state of mind, doubts, and questioning to you?

What to do when it's gone? When you can't be arsed to get up in the morning anymore. When it's the weekend and you're just sitting in front of a TV screen with no desire to do anything. When everything seems like a chore and work drains you. When you feel the years slipping away but can't seem to get a grasp on them. When nothing seems worth the effort and all you feel is pessimism and bitterness.

What do you do? Has anybody fought through this perpetual darkness and found the light? And I mean true light, not that artificial shit. I just feel like I keep slipping, I wrestle with my mind and my emotions so much but I can never seem to find an even flow. It's always up and down, with the slightest things knocking me off balance. Is happiness even real or was it just an illusion?

That might seem normal to you, but what you describe is pretty far away from the average experience. To continue the medical analogy, it's a bit like a person with a fountain of blood spewing from their neck (I watched a horror movie last night, okay ) trying to convince you that they're totally okay, and treatment would be an overreaction.

I mean, we live in a crazy world. What is really true? I don't feel like I'm ill per se, so I wouldn't want to waste the time of a therapist or spend money on that kind of thing. Society seems to follow this notion at the minute that we should all be happy as Larry and if we feel negative emotions then that must mean we are ill. I don't really believe that.

Therapy flat out exists for people hurting as badly as you are. Or anyone dealing with issues that get in the way of living a happy, productive life. If you'd just... say, gotten dumped by a casual girlfriend or boyfriend, and were feeling a little down, I'd be inclined to agree with you. What you're describing however, are major, long-term issues affecting everything about your life.

I would ask you, do you want to be happy and live a positive life, rather than feeling like the years are slipping away, and darkness is closing in? If so, you are ignoring an avenue that could make a major difference in your life, and your best shot.

The only time you're wasting right now, is yours.

But yes I understand your second point. I don't want this thread to be the thread of self-loathing. I'm not looking for any pity just a discussion. We all have different outlooks and have had different experiences so I'm just looking to draw on some of that if it's possible because I know there's going to be some intelligent people here. It is a gaming forum for nerds after all

As much as I love Gaf and internet communities in general, they also tend to draw a lot of people that don't fit in, have been damaged, and are dealing with their own issues.

Worst case scenario, guidance here could be the blind leading the blind and make things worse. Best case, a stranger has to psychoanalyze your entire life based on a few paragraphs, and issue a recommendation.

As I said, the best of intentions will still draw the elements I talked about. It really is best for you, and the forum, to take advantage of a service that was explicitly designed to help you.

 

[Filthy Casual]

Reread your own words. Does this sound like just a state of mind, doubts, and questioning to you?



That might seem normal to you, but what you describe is pretty far away from the average experience. To continue the medical analogy, it's a bit like a person with a fountain of blood spewing from their neck (I watched a horror movie last night, okay ) trying to convince you that they're totally okay, and treatment would be an overreaction.



Therapy flat out exists for people hurting as badly as you are. Or anyone dealing with issues that get in the way of living a happy, productive life. If you'd just... say, gotten dumped by a casual girlfriend or boyfriend, and were feeling a little down, I'd be inclined to agree with you. What you're describing however, are major, long-term issues affecting everything about your life.

I would ask you, do you want to be happy and live a positive life, rather than feeling like the years are slipping away, and darkness is closing in? If so, you are ignoring an avenue that could make a major difference in your life, and your best shot.

The only time you're wasting right now, is yours.



As much as I love Gaf and internet communities in general, they also tend to draw a lot of people that don't fit in, have been damaged, and are dealing with their own issues.

Worst case scenario, guidance here could be the blind leading the blind and make things worse. Best case, a stranger has to psychoanalyze your entire life based on a few paragraphs, and issue a recommendation.

As I said, the best of intentions will still draw the elements I talked about. It really is best for you, and the forum, to take advantage of a service that was explicitly designed to help you.

I hear what you're saying, but I'm not looking for someone to psychoanalyze me as you say. I don't need other people to tell me who I am or how I feel. I already know that. I'm just looking for casual advice and insight into how people motivate themselves and keep themselves moving forward. And I suppose even a bit of a philosophical discussion. I think people have already given good advice, and it's interesting to hear people's viewpoints.

I appreciate that you are thinking of my well-being however and I thank you for your suggestions but right now I definitely am not looking to go down that route.

 

[-Arcadia-]

I'm just looking for casual advice and insight into how people motivate themselves and keep themselves moving forward.

Again, the OP reveals a much different scenario. If it were a thread about simple motivation, I wouldn't have posted.

I appreciate that you are thinking of my well-being however and I thank you for your suggestions but right now I definitely am not looking to go down that route.

You're very welcome. It's up to you to decide what to do with your life, ofc. I hope that you keep my post in mind, though.

 

[Filthy Casual]

Again, the OP reveals a much different scenario. If it were a thread about simple motivation, I wouldn't have posted.

Yes I concede that my OP painted a pretty bleak picture of my mental state but I do not always see that picture. And my issue I guess is not necessarily finding a way to live - I never have any serious thoughts about ending my life for instance - but rather a way to live well in a positive manner; with optimism. I still believe in the good but I can't seem to hold on to it.

 

[deafmedal]

I struggle with motivation, esp while on the road and working odd hours. For example, the current project I'm on I am the night shift lead and usually work from ~8pm to 9am Friday and Saturday with a bit of work Sunday night which, depending on progress may spill into Monday morning. During the week there has been work at night for a couple of nights generally but it gets hard to keep track of the days and time.

My hotel rooms haven't been the most quiet so sleep can be a struggle and after grabbing a meal out and basic self care I don't have a lot of free time and that which I do I spend talking to my wife and just laying about as my sleep is so shitty. One of my hobbies is making music (read: noise) and with this schedule I've failed rather spectacularly getting anything done so I've tried to supplement the lack of creativity there with writing and getting back into drawing when I can. I need to get some exercise in but keep putting it off.

All said, emotionally I am alright. This extra crazy schedule will be up in four weeks and I'll return to a more normal schedule. It's been tough but the money has been fantastic and I really only 'work' one night each week with a bit of troubleshooting the next night. Rest of the time I supervise or wait for day shift. I tend to catch up on sleep when I go home every other week, lots of 2-3 hour naps with a couple of my normal 5-6 hour cycles as needed.

I hope if I remain here in the DMV for the next leg of the project I get a little more motivation to get out to the National Mall and such on the weekends I stay in town, I love visiting the museums here and it just hasn't fit my schedule to go over the past couple months. I don't beat myself up over it too much, I know shit is out of my comfort zone so I just roll with the punches. Hell, I need to go to the grocery store but I've been sitting here with the windows cracked and watching the world creep along on this beautiful day. Welp, I'm done with my coffee and this post, gotta get my ass to the store!

 

[DESTROYA]

You sound lonely OP, do you have friends or family to hangout with? Significant other?
Maybe all you need is something to take care of like a dog or cat.

 

[Papa]

Have a wank

 

[Filthy Casual]

Have a wank

I've spent way too much time wanking in my life mate, I can't say that it's the answer to anything

 

[Filthy Casual]

You sound lonely OP, do you have friends or family to hangout with? Significant other?
Maybe all you need is something to take care of like a dog or cat.

I spend most my time with the Mrs, don't have much contact with many friends right now. I do think being more social with people outside of my relationship would be beneficial to be fair. It would even be nice to feel a part of something bigger I guess, like a community, but where the hell are they at these days?

 

[Elektro Demon]

I've spent way too much time wanking in my life mate, I can't say that it's the answer to anything

Well, what's one more gonna do, right?

 

[Tesseract]

Well, what's one more gonna do, right?

einstein said something about this

 

[Papa]

I spend most my time with the Mrs, don't have much contact with many friends right now. I do think being more social with people outside of my relationship would be beneficial to be fair. It would even be nice to feel a part of something bigger I guess, like a community, but where the hell are they at these days?

Go join a boxing class or something

Or yoga so you can look at women's butts

 

[Elektro Demon]

einstein said something about this

I can't remember.

 

[synchronicity]

Find something you love (it's in there - just look, and don't worry if it's realistic or endorsed by others) and fully embrace it. Then lovingly tend and nurture that fire and let it grow until it is a blazing inferno and then stand gloriously in those flames until they consume all of you, burning you to ash.

You will have your purpose and your life will be an adventure. (and you will die. But it will be a fabulous death marking a life well-lived.)

 

[gunslikewhoa]

Life is about discipline. Fuck motivation.

I guess when motivation's "gone" I do the same as when it's "not gone."

 

[Hotty Botty]

Motivation for what though? Do you feel like you've gotten too comfortable with where you're at?
For me, I don't think I've ever get comfortable in my life. I always kept looking at what was next. Setting another goal. The grind never ends. Just keep getting better at being the best possible version of yourself.

 

[ROMhack]

What to do when it's gone? When you can't be arsed to get up in the morning anymore. When it's the weekend and you're just sitting in front of a TV screen with no desire to do anything. When everything seems like a chore and work drains you. When you feel the years slipping away but can't seem to get a grasp on them. When nothing seems worth the effort and all you feel is pessimism and bitterness.

What do you do? Has anybody fought through this perpetual darkness and found the light? And I mean true light, not that artificial shit. I just feel like I keep slipping, I wrestle with my mind and my emotions so much but I can never seem to find an even flow. It's always up and down, with the slightest things knocking me off balance. Is happiness even real or was it just an illusion?

When you're down, you need to see the world in terms of action rather than emotion. I try to make it a mission to get out of my comfort zone as my feelings always change once I'm not wrapped up inside my own head.

It's a lame suggestion but start by reading a book. It makes you look at the world from a different perspective and that's a hugely important first step. Then do some other things that aren't videogames or watching TV - both are nice but largely mind rot.

Edit:

I also try to stop thinking so presently. Life tends to be bit easier once I start putting my mind a few months into the future. I try to ask myself how would I feel about myself in a few month's time if I did X. Often the result is better than sitting on my arse doing nothing.

It's hard with depression though so you often gotta push through.

 

[gunslikewhoa]

 

[ROMhack]

Found Papa 's alt

 

[Filthy Casual]

When you're down, you need to see the world in terms of action rather than emotion. I try to make it a mission to get out of my comfort zone as my feelings always change once I'm not wrapped up inside my own head.

It's a lame suggestion but start by reading a book. It makes you look at the world from a different perspective and that's a hugely important first step. Then do some other things that aren't videogames or watching TV - both are nice but largely mind rot.

Edit:

I also try to stop thinking so presently. Life tends to be bit easier once I start putting my mind a few months into the future. I try to ask myself how would I feel about myself in a few month's time if I did X. Often the result is better than sitting on my arse doing nothing.

It's hard with depression though so you often gotta push through.

Interesting advice. I do read from time to time and have read quite a bit of philosophy, and listened to the likes of Peterson, Alan Watts and the like. Stoic philosophy seems to resonate with me the most which is interesting as that philosophy would say to live in the present and be content with the every day is one of the keys to happiness, and not being concerned so much with the future.

 

[hariseldon]

Discipline > Motivation. Discipline is something you create. Motivation is provided by others. You know what to do.

 

[LordKasual]

What to do when it's gone? When you can't be arsed to get up in the morning anymore. When it's the weekend and you're just sitting in front of a TV screen with no desire to do anything. When everything seems like a chore and work drains you. When you feel the years slipping away but can't seem to get a grasp on them. When nothing seems worth the effort and all you feel is pessimism and bitterness.

What do you do? Has anybody fought through this perpetual darkness and found the light? And I mean true light, not that artificial shit. I just feel like I keep slipping, I wrestle with my mind and my emotions so much but I can never seem to find an even flow. It's always up and down, with the slightest things knocking me off balance. Is happiness even real or was it just an illusion?

We have the same name so take this advice to heart.

The solution is to stop thinking that motivation is something that comes naturally and that ambition always feel good to pursue. There is an ebb and flow to everything. The people who break out of it are people who work through and make the process automatic. You have to ENGAGE during the depressive, unmotivated, low points of life in order to eventually defeat them. If you try and run from it or avoid it, it will eventually catch up with you every single time.

The irony of the universe is that "happiness" is something that you'll never truly find if you're pursuing it directly, and complaining about "desire" and "low points" sounds like a good indication that's exactly what you're doing.


You need a purpose that goes beyond "happy". In reality, even the "happiest" people still fight the darkness...they just don't react to it the same way as unhappy people.

 

[ROMhack]

Interesting advice. I do read from time to time and have read quite a bit of philosophy, and listened to the likes of Peterson, Alan Watts and the like. Stoic philosophy seems to resonate with me the most which is interesting as that philosophy would say to live in the present and be content with the every day is one of the keys to happiness, and not being concerned so much with the future.

Thanks, I hope it helps .

I find stoicism useful in terms of understanding present emotions and then trying to find ways to deal with them. It's from it that I developed a view that it's best to think about emotions as things that will ultimately pass, whereas actions have tangible consequences and some of those can have much better results. I guess it's more like mindfulness - which asks us to accept emotions as inevitable.

I'm a sensitive person generally though. I don't think I could ever go full stoic like Peterson seems to suggest.

 

[RealGassy]

I know everyone is different, but going to gym does basically nothing to me.

Well, it does **something**, before going to gym I have "some" energy and after gym I have literally no energy left. And I am somewhat calmer and mellower afterwards (well, yeah, due to having no energy left) as a result.

I can also effortlessly lift things multiple times heavier than I started out with and used to struggle with at the beginning.
Which is nice, but - again, this ability has zero bearing on my life whatsoever.

Maybe I look ever so slightly better, not that it has any direct significant effect on my quality of life either.

Discipline is also vastly overhyped in this thread (and elsewhere usually by military, gymbro types)
Discipline mainly works for executing things that require little thought or creativity - such as going to gym (with a plan or a coach) or working out, etc.

There is no silver bullet.

 

[Paasei]

I had this issue for one weekend and I got so tired of that feeling I started to do something about it very quickly. Could've been boredom, though.

Started small, I cleaned and tidied up my spare room. This has now 'escalated' in a positive manner. I am reskilling into a new interest of mine, that I didn't know I had before.

Keeping everything clean and tidy helps me to stay active, relax and continue pursuing my other goals.

If you don't like going to the gym like so many people suggest you should do, do something else that is also keeping you in the move and in shape, should you deem that necessary . Me personally, I walk a shitton. I don't set goals on how far / long. It's just to keep my mind clear and it is something I really like to do. Sometimes I walk 10km and some days 25km.