Naka: UGA bong addiction 'A problem'

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Naka: UGA bong addiction 'A problem'

By guest reporter SW

Sonic Team boss and international grumpy person Yuji Naka has been the first high-level Sega executive to speak out against the studio mergers at Sega Sammy Holdings, complaining of the constant bong-smoking of new stablemates, the UGA team.

“When in the morning, a person must smoke hashish, it becomes a problem,” stated Naka. “Marijuana is one thing, but this ingestion method, the ‘shotgun bowl-bong’ is not helping the development process here.”

Naka made his comments following the unveiling of the team’s first co-operative work with UGA, I Would Die For You for the Nintendo DS. “It’s an embarrassment to us and makes us look like the American hippies of the 1970s. I have always said one thing about games; they should be cute and go really fast. But the hashish makes everything swirly and slow – the opposite of this!”

Contacted for comment today, Amusement Vision head Toshihiro Nagoshi was eager to play down the herbal rift developing at Sega HQ. “Naka-san just has low blood sugar and probably needs some bitter-tasting soy biscuits or something. I have shared my daily allowance of a huge bottle of whisky with him for several years now without any problems, but when he mixes it with the chillums and Silver Leaf pipes in his office, it’s bound to be a disaster.”

Indeed, Naka has been pictured with a very white face of late, stumbling towards the toilet, followed by several smirking UGA staffers chanting “Hey Naka! You calling Satomi on the big porcelain telephone again?” It thought that the constant baiting has been the principal cause of the ever-widening rift at the new studio. One unnamed source told UK:R, “The tricks UGA get up to are astonishing. They stop at nothing to make Sonic Team sick with cannabis. I have seen them loading joints really heavily at the end, and making Sonic Team light them, putting hydroponicly-grown skunk into Sonic Team bongs, but only smoking Jamaican brick weed in their own, the list is endless.”

It is believed that this is only the first stage in the corruption of Sonic Team by UGA, though rumours detailing Mexican mushroom binges, LSD and PCP have yet to be confirmed.


Much more at the amazing UK:R!
 
Contacted for comment today, Amusement Vision head Toshihiro Nagoshi was eager to play down the herbal rift developing at Sega HQ. “Naka-san just has low blood sugar and probably needs some bitter-tasting soy biscuits or something. I have shared my daily allowance of a huge bottle of whisky with him for several years now without any problems, but when he mixes it with the chillums and Silver Leaf pipes in his office, it’s bound to be a disaster.”

*awesome*. Utterly fucking awesome.
 
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The bong made this game.
 
UK resistance is a truly excellent site. Sad that they were one of the few to expose that Driv3r review shame nonsense.
 
Maybe I missed something: is this for real or not?

Besides, I remember watching E3's Mizuguchi's video-interview from Kikizo, and man, he looked as if, asi f he knew his stuff (smoking wise, of course :D )
 
pilonv1 said:
If you can't find UKR funny then you're probably sick of life.
I haven't say that. Anyways I am not against them just that I was reading the UGA story and I couldn't find the fun of it.
Peace.
 
megateto said:
Maybe I missed something: is this for real or not?

Besides, I remember watching E3's Mizuguchi's video-interview from Kikizo, and man, he looked as if, asi f he knew his stuff (smoking wise, of course :D )


Nah. He was just jetlagged/tired. :D

I was the one filming/interviewing him.
 
boutrosinit said:
Nah. He was just jetlagged/tired. :D

I was the one filming/interviewing him.

It's true. Dan only sorts out drugs for a select bunch of gaming bigwigs. Now let's see, who was the last one...?

Oh, that's right ***** *******
Send me you know what or I blab!
:-P
 
boutrosinit said:
Nah. He was just jetlagged/tired. :D

Playing devil's advocate here???? :D

It's not about the way he looked there, it's what he talked about. You know, I recalled something along the likes of Fear an Loathing in Las Vegas...

Besides, he sounded like a really nice and thoughtful person.

He's officially cool¡¡¡¡

Edit: missed smiley
 
megateto said:
Playing devil's advocate here???? :D

It's not about the way he looked there, it's what he talked about. You know, I recalled something along the likes of Fear an Loathing in Las Vegas...

Besides, he sounded like a really nice and thoughtful person.

He's officially cool¡¡¡¡

Edit: missed smiley


Yeah. He was a nice guy. Came across very genuine.
 
LOL hilarious. I also wish someone would restart that Onion ripoff that covered just Videogame topics. The only other game related comedy site that was funny.
 
BlackClouds said:
LOL hilarious. I also wish someone would restart that Onion ripoff that covered just Videogame topics. The only other game related comedy site that was funny.

holy christ kill yourself.
 
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