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[Wellington]

I have some stuff in mind, but I want something so devious and evil that no one tries to mess with me again. Here is the situation:

Last night I was at a house party for my buddy's birthday. The combination of me having slept four hours the night before, waking up at 5AM, and being a bit drunk did the worst thing possible to me in such a situation... I was the first to fall asleep.

So I woke up this morning groggy as hell and a little hungover, and two others that had also crashed their start talking about last night. They ask me who this kid Jeff was that I was talking to all night, saying that we were really friendly. No Jeff was at this party last night, mind you, so I asked them who they were talking about and they said oh it was just some guy, with blond hair and blue eyes, that came in and started chilling with us, or that maybe he had come with some of my friends I had invited.* O...kay. So they then say to me to reach into my pockets and that maybe I got his number.* At this point me and two other guys that had just woken up start wondering who the fuck Jeff is. I told them not to worry about it, that it's a joke, but the initial two had insisted this guy named Jeff was there and that I should check my pockets. In order to see what I was up against I would reach into my pockets and pull my hand back out to guage reactions.* I finally just pulled out everything I had in my pockets, and sure enough, a note from this guy named Jeff. "Thanks for the great time Wellington, give me a call some time."* and a number was attached. I shrugged it off and started my long trek home.

I knew it was obviously a joke. I asterisked the parts that gave it away.

-We're in the Bronx, if someone were to bust into our party and drink without us granting permission, they'd have gotten fucked up.
-Our entire circle of friends is hispanic. No one blonde haired and blue eyed would have shown up with any of my friends.
-"Hey you should check your pockets." "I dunno maybe he left something in your pockets." "You have something in your pocket." Kind of obvious.
-They stared pretty intently whenever I would reach into my pockets, and were subsequently disappointed when I pulled nothing out several times.
-The note was written in my best friend's handwriting, as if I wouldn't be able to tell. :lol
-I prefer giving out my number to taking someone else's if I want to keep in touch with them.

A couple of hours later they called me up laughing saying it was a joke.

Now... I need to come up with something to top that and to get them extremely scared/pissed, and this is where I need the help. They are heavy drinkers and they smoke weed on occasion, so I would like to center it around that. My idea is simple, really. On a day that they are smoking, have someone I know dress up as a cop and bust in and pretend to arrest them. Only problem with that is that I don't know anyone that has the right physical makeup and would be willing to do that, let alone a police man's uniform.

Help me GAF. :lol

 

[Miguel]

Fly me and FT out there. We could play good cop/bad cop...except we're both the bad cop!

<FT> YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY SON?! I DON'T SEE NUTHIN FUNNY ABOUT GOING TO PRISON FOR 8 YEARS!
<MiG> What...YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU? FUCKING FAGGOTS!
<Jorge and Carlos> WTF! WE'RE SORRY! WE DIDN'T MEAN TO...and...uh...Future was it? Why is your partner so short?
<MiG> ARRRRGGH! *starts beating the shit out of CK's friends*
<CK> roofle....you can stop now mig....Mig....MIG!

 

[Matlock]

This looks like a job for White Man.

 

[White Man]

Do you have access to red food coloring, some margarita mix, a blender, and a gallon of anti-freeze? I think I might have a plan.

 

[AntoneM]

<warning, stupid thing done with shotgun>

actually 2 buddies and I did the DEA bust to some of our "friends", they were casual pot dealers, you know, they'd buy a pound avaer couple months and sell it to friends... well I had bought from them a couple of times and never thought anything of it, until I happened to weight it once... lets just say it was short. Anyway, knowing these guys pretty well (no weapons in the apartment, and it was on the first floor so no one would jump off the balcony of anything) my friends and I came up with a plan, we went to the trift store and bought some cheap black coats and clothes we then did as best a paint job as we could to write DEA in yellow on the jackets. one of my buddies had a shotgun, not loaded, and the other had a bb gun pistol (also not loaded), so I knock on the door, they see it's me and open it wide, it's then that my friends bust in there in ski masks with DEA jackets on. Scared the living shit out em, after they caught thier breath, I told them about the bag comming up short, they appologized profusly and to this day they will always smoke up my buddies and I when we come over.

I know all that sounds sort of unrealistic, but what the fuck else are you going to do in Fargo in the winter?!?

 

[Manabanana]

Ah, too late...Oh well.

 

[Wellington]

Do you have access to red food coloring, some margarita mix, a blender, and a gallon of anti-freeze? I think I might have a plan.

I could.

 

[Gribbix]

dioxin

 

[Socreges]

dioxin

Harsh, but fair, justice.

 

[WasabiKing]

Ah, the cocktail waitress trick, next time they come over to drink your whiskey, add some iodine. They'll get the runs for a few days. And that's a warning to you guys who thing tipping for free drinks at a casino is ridiculous.

 

[Jim Bowie]

This looks like a job for White Man.

My concurrance with this post knows no limits.

 

[madara]

Well obvious this "blond guy" needs to be murdered or wanted in crime. That would scare crap out of your friends P

 

[Acrylamid]

On a day that they are smoking, have someone I know dress up as a cop and bust in and pretend to arrest them. Only problem with that is that I don't know anyone that has the right physical makeup and would be willing to do that, let alone a police man's uniform.

Help me GAF. :lol

 

[Ned Flanders]

You should randomly tell (preferably one of) them to reach in their pockets for something. Then, when they dig both hands in deep to their pockets (they're assuming you're super sly and planted something on them), pounce them with a roll of duct tape and encircle them as quickly as possible. Then you can push them onto the ground, kick and sodomize/humiliate them at your leisure. Do not for a second let these bastards think they can fuck with you. Thats what you have enemies for.

 

[DJ Sl4m]

I have some stuff in mind, but I want something so devious and evil that no one tries to mess with me again. Here is the situation:

Last night I was at a house party for my buddy's birthday. The combination of me having slept four hours the night before, waking up at 5AM, and being a bit drunk did the worst thing possible to me in such a situation... I was the first to fall asleep.

So I woke up this morning groggy as hell and a little hungover, and two others that had also crashed their start talking about last night. They ask me who this kid Jeff was that I was talking to all night, saying that we were really friendly. No Jeff was at this party last night, mind you, so I asked them who they were talking about and they said oh it was just some guy, with blond hair and blue eyes, that came in and started chilling with us, or that maybe he had come with some of my friends I had invited.* O...kay. So they then say to me to reach into my pockets and that maybe I got his number.* At this point me and two other guys that had just woken up start wondering who the fuck Jeff is. I told them not to worry about it, that it's a joke, but the initial two had insisted this guy named Jeff was there and that I should check my pockets. In order to see what I was up against I would reach into my pockets and pull my hand back out to guage reactions.* I finally just pulled out everything I had in my pockets, and sure enough, a note from this guy named Jeff. "Thanks for the great time Wellington, give me a call some time."* and a number was attached. I shrugged it off and started my long trek home.

I knew it was obviously a joke. I asterisked the parts that gave it away.

-We're in the Bronx, if someone were to bust into our party and drink without us granting permission, they'd have gotten fucked up.
-Our entire circle of friends is hispanic. No one blonde haired and blue eyed would have shown up with any of my friends.
-"Hey you should check your pockets." "I dunno maybe he left something in your pockets." "You have something in your pocket." Kind of obvious.
-They stared pretty intently whenever I would reach into my pockets, and were subsequently disappointed when I pulled nothing out several times.
-The note was written in my best friend's handwriting, as if I wouldn't be able to tell. :lol
-I prefer giving out my number to taking someone else's if I want to keep in touch with them.

A couple of hours later they called me up laughing saying it was a joke.

Now... I need to come up with something to top that and to get them extremely scared/pissed, and this is where I need the help. They are heavy drinkers and they smoke weed on occasion, so I would like to center it around that. My idea is simple, really. On a day that they are smoking, have someone I know dress up as a cop and bust in and pretend to arrest them. Only problem with that is that I don't know anyone that has the right physical makeup and would be willing to do that, let alone a police man's uniform.

Help me GAF. :lol

Next time make sure to stay up the longest no matter how hard it is to stay awake.
Insert a new condow (with a lil mayo from the fridge) inside one of their pockets.

 

[Ecrofirt]

ok, I've got a plan.

Next time they fall asleep first, pour lighter fluid all over their pants, and let it dry. When they wake up in the morning ready to toke,make sure that somehow an ash falls onto their pants. They'll catch on fire, and you'll laugh your ass off.

 

[Litigation Manuel]

Okay, first: Dig a big hole.
Second: Push them in, and BURY THEM ALIVE! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHahahAHAhAHA! Oh! Oh! I'm terrific!
Seriously, do that. Get them really drunk, and ask them to follow you to the store to get some, I don't know, porn or something. Something to pique their interest. Then, instead of the store, take them to the hole! Then shove them! Now, burying them fast will be difficult, so it might be helpful to have a couple shovels in your car. But oh, when they get buried, it will be all,

"DEATH, BITCHES!"
They'll be laughing, you'll be laughing, good times had for all. Of course, when they laugh, dirt will fill their mouths. That won't be so funny. Dirt is dirty, and filled with bugs, that could die. Be sure you bury them in clean dirt. Anyway, let me know how it goes.

 

[Triumph]

I can only share what we did to our "friend" in college. He wasn't really our friend, but he lived on our hall in the dorms and hung out with us, he was cool for a bit then started to become annoying as all get out.

Anyhow, after sophomore year, a bunch of us moved into some townhouses in Athens, and one of the guys on the hall came out after moving in. Everybody was totally fine with it, we all subscribe to the live and let live theory. Except our wankerish "friend", of course, who could make a mountain of a molehill and decided to make an Everest out of our neighbor coming out of the closet.

Anyway, we had a short two day break at the end of some week, so we decided to have a huge ass party at our place Wednesday night to celebrate two extra days of Drunkitude(back then, we really took our drinking SERIOUSLY. I mean, I look back today and think WTF were we doing drinking a keg of guinness between 9 people over the course of one day... or sending our friend Gabe out at 9 AM one morning after being up all night drinking for another keg of Pabst... anyhow. I digress). We had decided to enact THE PLAN on our obnoxious acquaintance. Here is what we did:

-Borrowed some roofies from a frat dude we knew.
-Spiked the victim's drink with a couple roofies.
-When he passed out, someone kicked him square between the buttcheeks to make sure he would be sore the next morning. He grunted but never woke up.
-Stripped him down to his boxers and tossed him into our gay neighbor's bed.

A few of us stayed up till around 10 AM the next morning to view and document the hilarity(that's when the victim finally woke up). Our neighbor was waiting outside with a tray full of breakfast in his bathrobe, and when he started making noise in there("Huh? Where the fuck am I? Where are my clothes?"), he opened the door and said, "Hello, honey, I made us breakfast!"

He jumped up screaming and ran out of the house. We captured that part on video tape. He tried to start a fight with us when he figured out what happened, but we just couldn't stop laughing. Plus he was all disoriented and shit.

Having said all of that, don't spike anyone's drink with roofies. You could kill them! I never liked that part of the plan, I just thought we should get him shitty drunk.

 

[White Man]

I would've spiked his drink with experimental hallucinogens first. That way he'd go through a Rosemary's Baby-esque hippie freakout. And then the Rophynol kicks in. He'd wake up the next morning thinking he had sex with the DEVIL. Or John Cassavetes. Or Sidney Blackmer. Or Thera's mom.

 

[Triumph]

I would've spiked his drink with experimental hallucinogens first. That way he'd go through a Rosemary's Baby-esque hippie freakout. And then the Rophynol kicks in. He'd wake up the next morning thinking he had sex with the DEVIL. Or John Cassavetes. Or Sidney Blackmer. Or Thera's mom.

Well, we did feed him mushrooms on a seperate occasion, and then convinced him that it was ok for us to steal his car for the evening. Looking back, I would feel bad about some of the things we did to that poor boy, but for the love of Buddha, I don't have what you call a conscience per se, so how can I feel bad? Plus we needed his SUV to haul shit around in for a party we were throwing. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Oh, his girlfriend also left him about an hour after the mushrooms kicked in. Because he was "on drugs". So he wandered around campus for about 4 or 5 hours running from shadows and half seen demons from his past and present. I can't say I'm always PROUD of what I've done, but I stand by my work. I am, after all, a professional.

 

[Bob White]

So he wandered around campus for about 4 or 5 hours running from shadows and half seen demons from his past and present.

:lol :lol