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[Miguel]

O Unicru
Our favorite online forms
True hatred of you all thy unemployed command.
With bloodshot eyes we loathe thee sites,
The Fucking On-Line Forms!
From far and wide, O Unicru
We piss on you in glee
You keep our jobs blocked and see,
O Unicru, we want to piss on thee.
O Unicru, we want to piss on thee.

 

[aoi tsuki]

i HATE Unicru. Circuit City uses them, and i started, stopped, and reregistered my app with them thrice, never once finishing. The pages seem to go on forever, some questions are repeated, and there's only a handful of quesions per page, sometimes only one. It's one of the few times i prefer print over electronic.

Also, i hate looking for work. i'm currently employed, just shy of forty hours a week. But the pay isn't enough, and if i could i'd like to quit my current job.

 

[Miguel]

FUCK...Circuit City uses them too? >:O!!!

I was hoping I had an alternative to best buy...arlgjlaksdfj;laskdjf;alskfd

 

[aoi tsuki]

Best Buy uses them?! i was going to do fill an app out today actually, since there's both in the area i'm applying for, like most cities. Sucks; i wish i could just fill out a paper app.

 

[Miguel]

Here we go again! :lol

I'm going for the Unicru Quartet.
Circuit City, Best Buy, Finish Line, Blockbuster.

 

[The Take Out Bandit]

Yes, Microsoft has almost been out eviled with regards to shit software design.

I'm offended by the number of companies using UniSCREW for their on-line application process. I can't enter any relevant information with a fucking 51 character limit per line.

I totally fucking despise UniSCREW and if a company requires I apply via it, I just fuck their personality profiler up the ass by way of selecting the first option for all categories. Fuck it. They're too stupid to do the profiling themselves.

Me, I prefer the good old days of physical intimidation or persistant nagging to land a job. Not just being a fucking number in the ether.

 

[Miguel]

I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

 

[jooey]

unicru, the soulessness is right in their name!

you can tell that the white figure in their logo is being shunned by the orange commission whores

 

[Vormund]

Unicru is Unicron's son and just as evil.

 

[ohamsie]

Those things scare me. What kinds of questions do they ask?

 

[The Take Out Bandit]

An example question:

You catch a co-worker drinking 40oz. of Old English on the job. Do you report them to the boss?

- Strongly Agree
- Agree
- Indifferent
- Disagree
- Strongly Disagree

You see an old woman crotching expensive merchandise. Do call security?

- Strongly Agree
- Agree
- Indifferent
- Disagree
- Strongly Disagree

Etc.

It's all inane base personality profiling shit.

 

[atomsk]

since i'm bored... some examples, the first 10 pages of questions, from bestbuy.com

all question answers run the same format...
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Agree
Strongly agree



You love to be with people

You like to plan things before you start to do them

You are proud of the work you do at school or on a job

You think of yourself as being very sensible

You are more relaxed than strict about finishing things on time

You change from feeling happy to sad without any reason

When you need to, you take it easy at work

You like to talk a lot

You don't worry about making a good impression

You would rather not get involved in other people's problems

You say whatever is on your mind

You get angry more often than nervous

You have confidence in yourself

There are some people you really can't stand

People do a lot of things that make you angry

You like to be in the middle of a big crowd

Right now, you care more about having fun than being serious at school or work

It bothers you a long time when someone is unfair to you

You agree with people more than you argue

When people make mistakes, you correct them

You swear when you argue

People who talk all the time are annoying

There's no use having close friends; they always let you down

It bothers you when you have to obey a lot of rules

You have no big worries

You work best at a slow but steady speed

You love to listen to people talk about themselves

Many people cannot be trusted

You do some things that upset people

You have no big regrets about your past

You were absent very few days from high school

It's fun to go out to events with big crowds

Your stuff is often kind of messy

You'd rather not compete very much

You do not fake being polite

You have always had good behavior in school or work

You don't care if you offend people

You are not interested in your friends' problems

You always try not to hurt people's feelings

You are a fairly private person

When you are annoyed with something, you say so

Your friends and family approve of the things you do

You have to give up on some things that you start

You avoid arguments as much as possible

People do a lot of annoying things

It is maddening when the court lets guilty criminals go free

You hate to give up if you can't solve a hard problem

You know when someone is in a bad mood, even if they don't show it

You can wait patiently for a long time

You are unsure of what to say when you meet someone

 

[aoi tsuki]

UNICRU would be marginally better if they would give you the equivalent of one application page per web page. Instead it's...

Please give us your street address.. (Next)
Have you lived at any other address within the past five years? (Yes)
Please give us your street address.. (Next)
Repeat until done, or until you've entered five addresses, which i had to do

The funny part about the psychological portion of the application is that they basically recommend you blitz through it, selecting the first answer the comes to mind. This is also the only section where you can't go back. i took my time answering as truthfully as i could, while making note not to hover the pointer over the answer i was likely to check. i don't know if that mattered, but i wouldn't put it past them. When given the statement "Drugs are okay to use.", Applicant hovered over 'Strongly Agree' for 10.4 seconds before selecting 'Strongly Disagree'.

Frankly, i prefer Kelly Services (www.kellyservices.com) in terms of online job searching. They're probably the biggest temp agency in the US, and after registering and posting your resume, you actually get calls for work. Same with Monster (www.monster.com). i posted my resume and got contacted within a week by a company wanting a graphic designer. The pay was actually good too. Unfortunately, i forgot to update my address -- i'm 650 miles away from where i used to live.

 

[ohamsie]

I wonder if they would hire you if you put 'indifferent' for every answer.

 

[Jim Bowie]

you can tell that the white figure in their logo is being shunned by the orange commission whores

Grubdog could easily get a job at a Unicru place.