Need food? We got da stuff for you. Our salads are made from the freshest vegetables available from the West Coast loading docks. Remember when that theiving white-man's International Longshore and Warehouse Union striked? Not only did they help contribute to our economic pains, but they caused a ton of lettuce to ALMOST rot sitting out in the Pacific Ocean. Luckily, we were able to obtain most of these shipments at cut-rate pricing. NOW, we're passing the savings (and diseases) on to YOU!
Breakfast? Are you kidding?! Why get up before noon when you've had a long night of drive-bys and gang-banging? Besides, the welfare office is open until 5pm EVERY weekday.
