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Post your favorite "Yo Momma" jokes here

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Diablos

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Ah yes, they were all the rage last decade. Let's look back and recognize one of the best things about the 90's - yo momma jokes.

These are my personal favorites:

Yo momma is so stupid...

...she thought Fleetwood Mac was a new hamburger at McDonalds.
...she thought a quarterback was a refund.
...she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
...she asked what the number for 911 is.
...she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

Yo momma is so fat...
...when god said "let there be light" she had to move her big ass so it could shine!
...she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
...she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles!
...she's on both sides of the family.
...when she wears Boulevard underwear and her pants are falling down the sidewalk spells out "BVD"

Ah, memories. :lol
 
rosanne-barr.jpg




Hey, shut the fuck up.
 
Yo mamma's teeth are so yellow that when she speaks she spits butter
Yo mamma's teeth are so yellow that when she smiles traffic slows down
Yo mamma is so stupid that she only goes to church's chicken on sundays
Yo mamma is so stupid that when I asked to to buy me a color TV she asked what color
Yo mamma is so fat that I have to roll over twice just to get off of her
Yo mamma is so fat that she casts the 12 o'clock shadow at 9am
Yo mamma is so fat that she uses the the freeways as water slides
Yo mamma is so hairy that she uses a weed wacker to shave her legs
 
Yo momma is so fat...
...she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
...when she gets in an elevator it has to go down.
...her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
...she had to get baptised at sea world.
...the only time she sees 90210 is on the scale.
 
Yo momma so fat, I swerved to miss her and ran out of gas.
Yo momma so fat, she got shot in a drive by and started bleeding gravy.
 
I think the Pharcyde pretty much covered it:

Ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
Ya mama is so big and fat that she can get busy
with twenty-two burritos, but times are rough
I seen her in the back of Taco Bell with handcuffs
The sad fact (what?) ya mama smokes crack (what?)
She got a burning yearning and there's no turning back
Her knuckles drag down to the ground when she walk
Spit comes out that bitch mouth when she talk

Naked on a mountain top, tootin on a flizoot
Ridin on a horse drinking whisky out a bizoot
She's got the wings and teeth of an african bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that:

Ya mama got a glass eye with the fish in it (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Ya mama look like she's been in the dryer with some rocks
With the big bust nose sucking dirt out of socks
Held up the ice cream truck with a slingshot
She grabbed a bag of Cheese Corn and a soda pop
Ya mama root'n'toot and stole my loot and my suit
She may have the muscles, but no, she's not cute
She's not pretty, oh what a pity, got the glass titty
Filled up with Kool-aid, just for the kiddies

On a cliff butt naked, tootin on a flute
Ridin on a horse drinkin whisky out a boot
She's got the teeth and the wings of an African bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that

Ya mama got the wooden legs with real feet (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Watch out, I'm thinkin about your mother to a funky beat
I went to your house, and she licked me on the cheek
I said excuse me lady, but I remember seeing you at the Palladium
way back in September
Cause you was beatboxin for Lou Rawls
In some bright red boxer drawers
You said ya moms was pretty and young
But she's old as dirt and got hair on her tongue

Ya moms, ya moms, she uses Brut
And I saw her ridin a horsey drinking whisky out a boot
She's got the wings and teeth of an african bat
Her middle name is Mudbone, and on top of all that

Ya mama's got a peg leg with a kickstand (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Awwwwwwww, ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
We rode up on her back to get some burgers from Wendy's
and her skates went flat; I got stuck in her butt crack
They thought I was lost but I was caught by the G-strap
Heaven forbid a giant fart would give way
Cause that would blow me round the world in a day
We drove into the drive-in and she didn't have to pay
because we dressed her up to look just like a Chevrolet

Naked on a mountain top tootin on a flizoot
Ridin on a horse, drinkin whisky out a bizoot
With the wings and the teeth of an african bat, ba-aa-aa-at
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that

Ya mama's got an afro, with a chin strap (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Ya mama got snake skin teeth
Ya mama wears coat hangers for earrings , dude she looks like.... hehehe
Ya mama was making sex threats to Ricky Bell and shit
Ya mama jacked the Kool-aid man for a sip, nigga
Ya mama was walking down on Sunset with a 99 cent sign on her back
(You're a sellout) ya mama's a sellout nigga ya mama
Nigga ya mama did a pop tune nigga
Ya mama's glasses are so thick she look into a map
and see people wavin at her
Your mother got an Ouija board on her back
Sidney with EQ and everything what he be sayin
His mother be hooked, fishin with a hook and reel at the frozen food section
Tre's mama got Playdough teeth
Ya mother be eatin daisies like Now and Laters and shit
Ya mama's an extra on the Simpsons and shit
Ya mama's so fat you can't even see her legs
it just looks like she's just gliding across the floor...

[/thread]
 
Your momma's so fat....

... when her beeper goes off people think she's backing up.
... that she got attacked by the Japanese army because they thought she was Godzilla's wife.
... that when she puts on a rain coat people yell "TAXI !!!"
... that the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
... that when she got hit by a bus she turned around and said "Now who threw that rock?"
... that when she went to Sea World the whales started singing "We Are Family".


Your momma's so dumb....

... when she heard it was chilly outside she went and grabbed a bowl.
... that when I told her she done lost her mind she started looking for it.
... that she got locked in a grocery store overnight and starved to death.
... that she took a ruler to bed with her to see how long she slept.

Your momma's so ugly....

... that when she went into a haunted house she came out with a paycheck.
 
Yo Mamma is so dumb she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Yo mamma is so poor I saw here kickin a tin can down the street, I said "what you doing?" she said "movin"
 
Yo Mamma is so fat when she went outside wearing an xbox T shirt a missile landed on her.

Yo momma is like Felix potvin she lets everyone score between her legs.
 
I remember one about a sports or school jacket with a letter H on it....but I can't remember the logo name..hehe...but...

Your mama is so fat, if she wears a <insert logo with "H" on it> jacket helicopters land on her back.

I lose at joke telling.
 
Yo momma's so stupid she sold her TV to buy a VCR.


Yo momma's so stupid she took 2 hours to watch an episode of 60 minutes.


Yo momma's so flat you can fax her.
 
All I can remember are...

yo mama's so dumb..

she tripped over a cordless phone (which I've done before)
she thought taco bell was the mexican phone company
 
Diablos said:
...she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

:lol :lol :lol :lol

[QUOTE="Baron Aloha]... that she got locked in a grocery store overnight and starved to death.[/QUOTE]

:lol :lol :lol

I wish I could come up with some.

Yo momma's so stupid...

...when someone asked what was for dinner, she put her feet on the table and said "corn"
...she bought a solar-powered flashlight
...she sold her car for gasoline
...she called Dan Quayle for a spellcheck :lol :lol

OK, I stole the last three from a site.
 
Yo mamma so fat she stepped on a scale and it said "to be continued"
Yo mamma so fat she went to a restaurant and ordered everything on the menu but "thank you come again"
 
The best one I heard didn't start out with "yo momma"... two kids on my street were arguing over something, and the one says to the other, "shut up, bitch! go swim in your momma's pussy!" :lol
 
bjork said:
The best one I heard didn't start out with "yo momma"... two kids on my street were arguing over something, and the one says to the other, "shut up, bitch! go swim in your momma's pussy!" :lol
:lol
 
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