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[Dalek]

This is so tough. I have six year old daughter and she loves our cat Sophie so much. Sophie is getting up there in age, she's 16 and she's been showing signs of living an uncomfortable life. We've taken her to the vet about 4 times in the past month-she has a weak heart, weak lungs and some unexplained neurological issue that seems to be triggered by touching her neck-she then has seizures and her body twists and locks up. She's not "dying" per se, but her quality of life seems so bad-she just constantly looks miserable and uncomfortable. We are considering making that decision and on top of how awful it is, I know it's going to devastate my daughter.

Has anyone here had this experience of comfortjng your children during the death of a pet? I wish I could just make everything as comforting as possible.

 

[Karak]

I have dozens of times within my family and then asked to assist with others.
Honesty. I tell them that the animal was hurt/ill/sick and remind them of a time maybe they felt ill and remind them how much better they felt when the pain went away and tell them that the pain will or is gone when the animal passes.
Kid will be crushed that's for sure. Its the best to know that they will be and its easier to handle that hoping you somehow can make it be fine.

I also found that if possible another animal DOES help it really does. Especially with kids as they are in a formative time and can bond a bit easier it seems.

Edit: Also that quality of life is very low that you are describing. That is certainly time to look into ending a pets pain. Pets give us years of loyalty honest love and companionship and aside from food and safety a persons best gift to an animal they care for is the respect of a painless end when it is time.

 

[theechrisfox]

Kids have to learn about death eventually, might as well be as frank as you can with your human and be as compassionate as possible with that miserable cat. Plenty of animals need rescuing so maybe you can help another animal and that one will hopefully be around until your kid is fully grown.

 

[User 479360]

I lost quite a few cats as a kid, because my parents would let them outside and we live in the country. They'd, unfortunately, get hit or go missing. It was always awful, because I love cats and still do.

They meant a ton to me.

I had a cat who lived a long life and was contemplating putting him to sleep just before he passed naturally. I still miss him.

It's going to be tough, and I feel bad for both yourself and your kids. Sophie sounds like a great animal who had a good life, which is important. Take solace in that, and help your kids through it to the best of your abilities. That's all you can really do.

Good luck

 

[AbsolutBro]

For about six months after we put my dog Luke to sleep, my niece would ask "Where's Luke?". It was like a knife in the heart every time, and explaining that he was gone just never seemed to sink in.

Best you can do is explain that Sophie was in pain, and now she's sleeping peacefully and no longer in pain. Good luck OP, it sucks losing a pet.

 

[Josh with a J]

My mom told me my huskie went to a farm so he could have more room to run

I only realized what really happened when I mentioned him the other day.....-_-

damn it

 

[butalala]

The way I see it is that when you own a pet, you are entering into a contract where you will do everything you can to provide the best life you can for that animal. Since death is a part of life, it's your responsibility as a pet owner to provide them a good death as well.

It sucks. We had to put my childhood family dog down four years ago and it still stings. I dread the death of the current family dog just as much. My cousins are putting down their family dog today and she's like 18 years old, blind and nuts. It still sucks.

 

[Prez]

I have dozens of times within my family and then asked to assist with others.
Honesty. I tell them that the animal was hurt/ill/sick and remind them of a time maybe they felt ill and remind them how much better they felt when the pain went away and tell them that the pain will or is gone when the animal passes.

That would scare her shitless. She might think the same will happen to her next time she gets sick.

 

[Azulsky]

That would scare her shitless. She might think the same will happen to her next time she gets sick.

She needs to know that there is nothing we can do to make the pet better and that all lives come to an end for one reason or another.

 

[creationtheory]

My daughter is 3. We had our 13 year old cat put to sleep about a month ago. We told her the cat was really really old and had died. She seems to accept the finality of it.

 

[Jackben]

Happy Friday.

Honestly this is extremely depressing to even consider. I wouldn't want to sugar coat it with lies but I don't know what you can expect a 6 year old to understand or deal with.

 

[jackal27]

Honestly, it's a great way for kids to learn about death. Emphasize the good times and memories you guys had. Also the fact that your pet isn't hurting anymore. Show emotion, don't worry about being strong for them so much as showing them the proper response to loss and death.

 

[TheChewyWaffles]

Make sure you're plain with your kids "Fifi has died" is a lot better than saying "Fifi is in a better place" - you don't want to dance around the truth with kids.

 

[grumble]

My daughter is 3. We had our 13 year old cat put to sleep about a month ago. We told her the cat was really really old and had died. She seems to accept the finality of it.

I like this approach much more than lying to the kids just to make it more convenient. Putting the kids in a bubble does them no favours.

 

[toweringinferno]

When I was younger we had two dogs. The first one fell ill and died I remember my siblings and I crying for about two weeks.
When the other one fell ill, my dad said he gave it away to someone that could take care of it. Turns out the dog was dying but he didn't want us to cry that much again.

 

[Dalek]

Make sure you're plain with your kids "Fifi has died" is a lot better than saying "Fifi is in a better place" - you don't want to dance around the truth with kids.

For sure-I've explained to my daughter now that Sophie is really not doing well-and she immediately gets upset and doesn't want to talk about it at all. Pure avoidance. She gets it from me. But I am definitely going to be honest about how Sophie is ill, and the vet will help make sure she isn't in pain anymore. I've read tons about how tiptoeing around the specifics can just backfire in the long run.

 

[Karak]

That would scare her shitless. She might think the same will happen to her next time she gets sick.

Hahhaa. No. Well at least in the history of ever its never occurred. But you can't talk about death without the kid asking about it anyway.
But I believe in honesty with kids.

 

[Dalek]

Hahhaa. No. Well at least in the history of ever its never occurred. But you can't talk about death without the kid asking about it anyway.
But I believe in honesty with kids.

Actually he's right-there are articles I've read where if you put the blame on the vet or suggest it's because the animal was sick-it can cause fear of illness or doctors/hospitals, etc.

 

[Karak]

Actually he's right-there are articles I've read where if you put the blame on the vet or suggest it's because the animal was sick-it can cause fear of illness or doctors/hospitals, etc.

I am not arguing the right or wrong of it. I am saying thats what I do and I don't hide those issues from kids. Kids and brains can do anything. I know a kid who thinks his dog was abducted by a UFO because the parents didn't tell him they put the dog to sleep and they did it the day after the kid saw something in the sky. At some point everything has a possible repercussion.