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[Macam]

Yeeeeeehaw!

HOUSTON - America's largest church celebrated its move into the former arena for the Houston Rockets with a capacity crowd of 16,000, an upbeat sermon from its televangelist pastor and a spirited welcome from the governor of Texas.

"How do you like our new home?" Lakewood Church pastor Joel Osteen asked to thunderous applause. "It looks pretty good doesn't it? This is a dream come true."

The new home for the nondenominational Christian church is the former Compaq Center, once home to the Rockets.

There were no vacant spots in the arena as Lakewood, which recently became the first church in the United States to average more than 30,000 worshippers weekly, held its first service there Saturday night. The service also was televised live.

Gov. Rick Perry praised the church's new look and told the crowd, "As lawmakers we do a lot of things, but only the church can teach people to love.

"This is nothing short of amazing," Perry said. "It is so great to look across this crowd and see the wonderful diversity of this great state we call Texas."

It took more than 15 months and $75 million to complete the renovations — which included adding five stories to make more room.

"I couldn't believe how beautiful it was," Osteen said afterward when asked to describe how he felt when he first entered what he called the "Texas-sized" sanctuary. "It almost felt surreal."

Video clips playing on three gigantic screens showcased the building and recounted the history of the church. One video recalled the church's humble beginnings in an abandoned feed store in 1959 and traced Osteen's rise to the pulpit after his father and church founder, John Osteen, died 40 years later.

Osteen took over the church in 1999 and has increased the size of the congregation almost five-fold since then. His book, "Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living Your Full Potential" has sold almost 3 million copies.

The service was highlighted by a 25-minute sermon by Osteen, who told the crowd that he and his wife, Victoria, went on their first date in the arena 19 years ago.

The crowd roared with approval throughout the message and was often brought to its feet as Osteen spoke in front of a large golden-colored globe that rotated slowly.

Members of the choir swayed happily, belting out several different songs below pictures of a crisp blue sky with puffy white clouds.

While collection plates were passed, video messages from people around the world, including Pastor T.D. Jakes of the Potter's House in Dallas, welcomed Lakewood to its new location.

"It is overwhelming, unbelievable, fantastic," Ann Bell, one of the church's original members, said after the service. "Words can't even describe it."

 

[Kuroyume]

Horrifying... man Houston/Texas is a hell hole.

 

[swoon]

what would slim thug do?

 

[Boogie]

OH NO, IT'S A BIG CHURCH!

THEY MUST REALLY SUCK, AM I RITE?

 

[Atari2600]

You had me at Houston/Texas sucking. I've been to 40 states, and it's the most miserable, god-forsaken place I've ever been to. The traffic, the heat, the hillbillies, the accents, the tolls, the bland landscape, the belt buckles, the country music, the airports, the "dry" counties...

 

[btrboyev]

the only real reason is olimario

 

[olimario]

Oh no! A big church!
And while most of Texas is boring and flat, it has some truly breathtaking places to visit.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

what would slim thug do?

play Olimario in a game of SSBM to the death on his GAMECUBE NINTENDO!

 

[Atari2600]

I've driven from Houston to San Antonio to Austin and back to Houston. I've Driven from Dallas to Fort Worth and the surrounding areas. I've driven all around El Paso. Where exactly are these beautiful areas hiding? I'm sure there are some nice areas around the water, but 1% nice areas does not a good state make.

If you live there and love it - more power to ya. I am just trashing it like and red-blooded GAFFER is expected to do with anything they dislike. I am merely following protocol (sic?).

 

[ghostface]

OH NO, IT'S A BIG CHURCH!

THEY MUST REALLY SUCK, AM I RITE?

They sucked before the giant church. This only re-enforces their level of suck.

 

[Macam]

OH NO, IT'S A BIG CHURCH!

THEY MUST REALLY SUCK, AM I RITE?

Yup. That's not even a big church, that's a gianormous one. There plenty of "big ones" here, complete with their own incompetent traffic cops to help further stifle the flow of traffic so all the BMWs can roll out at will. Besides that, it's pretty insulting, to me anyway, to hear Perry openly praise the church, but then again, he's also the same one that had no problems signing further restrictions on abortion on a private church school's property and telling gays that if they didn't like the conditions in Texas, they could leave. He's also one of Rove's cronies.

Besides, I don't know what's with this state, but everything doesn't need to be a goddamned warehouse. I have no real beef with Whole Foods, but they just took up a whole city block when they relocated here a few months back. It's not really necessary.

You had me at Houston/Texas sucking. I've been to 40 states, and it's the most miserable, god-forsaken place I've ever been to. The traffic, the heat, the hillbillies, the accents, the tolls, the bland landscape, the belt buckles, the country music, the airports, the "dry" counties...

I can only laugh because it's true. Sadly.

 

[Pellham]

houston does suck, but if you think it sucks because it has a bigass church, i think you have some serious intolerance issues.

 

[Outlaw]

Atari2600

The traffic: No worse than any other city

The heat : see above

The hillbillies: not red neck country

The accents: huh?

The belt buckles: huh?

The country music: huh?

I think you've got your Texas cities mixed there sparky

 

[ghostface]

I think he was talking about Texas as a whole.

 

[Triumph]

Well, I'm sure reasons 1-40,687,142 have something to do with Olimario.

 

[Dan]

Gov. Rick Perry praised the church's new look and told the crowd, "As lawmakers we do a lot of things, but only the church can teach people to love.

What. The. Fuck.

 

[Incognito]

i actually like the guy. great fucking speaker. and texas rocks.

 

[WHOAguitarninja]

As someone who is not religious, I'm totally offended by the way they have service in a former sports arena.

Actually...wait...no I'm not.

Why is this really a bad thing? It makes a ton of people happy, and alot of people find purpose in their life through religion. I don't, but that's just me, and I don't condemn others for it. That's not any better than religious people condemning non-religious people for being heathens or some such nonsense.

Perhaps I'm missing something. Why is this a problem?

 

[Boogie]

As someone who is not religious, I'm totally offended by the way they have service in a former sports arena.

Actually...wait...no I'm not.

Why is this really a bad thing? It makes a ton of people happy, and alot of people find purpose in their life through religion. I don't, but that's just me, and I don't condemn others for it. That's not any better than religious people condemning non-religious people for being heathens or some such nonsense.

Perhaps I'm missing something. Why is this a problem?

Welcome to GAF.

 

[Desperado]

The country music: huh?

Yeah, it's more the 10 billion latino stations than the country music. =/

 

[King Jippo]

Perhaps I'm missing something. Why is this a problem?

You must not be aware of the unofficial GAF logo:

 

[etiolate]

These megamall churches bug me as a Christian. I see them here in California, big walmarts of churches. They have gift shops and coffee shops inside along with giant seating and modern tech setups. They're quite profitiable, too. I know people who have worked for these churches as accoutnants and their success has landed them jobs with big chain corporations. Even though some of the pastors of these churches that I've heard seem like smart, likeable people... something just seems wrong about the setup. It's like a church to match their home decor.

 

[Triumph]

The best of all the mega-churches: www.landoverbaptist.org

 

[CabbageRed]

"...he's also the same one that had no problems signing further restrictions on abortion on a private church school's property and telling gays that if they didn't like the conditions in Texas, they could leave."

A big church is no issue but that... 0_o I suppose when you take those views into account, his comments on the church become less innocuous.

 

[Macam]

houston does suck, but if you think it sucks because it has a bigass church, i think you have some serious intolerance issues.

Yes, yes, and yes.

 

[Boogie]

Yes, yes, and yes.

Well, as long as you can admit it

 

[Dezcom]

Reason #40,687,144 Why Houston/Texas Sucks

MIKE JONES!

 

[SatelliteOfLove]

As someone who is not religious, I'm totally offended by the way they have service in a former sports arena.

Actually...wait...no I'm not.

Why is this really a bad thing? It makes a ton of people happy, and alot of people find purpose in their life through religion. I don't, but that's just me, and I don't condemn others for it. That's not any better than religious people condemning non-religious people for being heathens or some such nonsense.

Perhaps I'm missing something. Why is this a problem?

Your lack of dogma is disturbing...

Anyways, there's one in Cote d' Ivorie that's bigger.

 

[Blackace]

Slim Thug gives a hats off to this!

Again like other people have said... why does this make Houston a bad place?

 

[Rorschach]

...uhm...I guess after 40,600,000 the reasons start getting lame.

 

[Desperado]

MIKE JONES!

281 330 8004...281 numbers are outside the 610 loop. aka suburbs.

MIKE JONES = ILLEGITIMATE

 

[Boogie]

...uhm...I guess after 40,600,000 the reasons start getting lame.

:lol

 

[SSGMUN10000]

I think Im in the minority here but I love living in Houston. I dont think there anything missing here great food, girls, clubs, variety of things to do and San An, Austin, Dallas, Galveston are all in driving distance to visit. Of course there is negatives like traffic, pollution, all fearing big churches(sarcasm) but anywho thats just me.

 

[olimario]

Oh, I enjoyed my 20 years in the Clear Lake/Friendswood area. There's enough to do there, in downtown, in Galveston, and in surrounding cities to keep it nice. I can understand the view people would have about Houston, because if you aren't in Clear Lake, Katy, The Woodlands, or Sugarland, you're in a rundown shithole.

 

[RonaldoSan]

Bigger church equals more money. How is that bad?

 

[The Faceless Master]

so i read the longass article, and i'm still not sure exactly why this is a reason that texas sucks... i mean, texas does suck, but i couldn't find a reason in that article...

oh wait...

Gov. Rick Perry praised the church's new look and told the crowd, "As lawmakers we do a lot of things, but only the church can teach people to love.

guess i don't know how to love...

 

[levious]

Oh, I enjoyed my 20 years in the Clear Lake/Friendswood area. There's enough to do there, in downtown, in Galveston, and in surrounding cities to keep it nice. I can understand the view people would have about Houston, because if you aren't in Clear Lake, Katy, The Woodlands, or Sugarland, you're in a rundown shithole.

When you say Clear Lake, are you referring to that area around Nassau Bay and the space center as a whole? I remember thinking all the areas were decent enough, Clear Creek, League City...

 

[Desperado]

When you say Clear Lake, are you referring to that area around Nassau Bay and the space center as a whole? I remember thinking all the areas were decent enough, Clear Creek, League City...

whoo League City

 

[olimario]

Too bad this is the only pretty view of Houston.

Enchanted Rock.

 

[olimario]

When you say Clear Lake, are you referring to that area around Nassau Bay and the space center as a whole? I remember thinking all the areas were decent enough, Clear Creek, League City...

Greater Clear Lake, yeah. Friendswood, League City...

 

[DonasaurusRex]

Doesnt houston or maybe its austin have a giant under ground cove beneath the city full of super sold rock formations carved out by water over thousands of years. I saw it on the history channel i think looked really cool. Oh and the fact that Cloak and Dagger the movie was taped in Texas reduces you reason count to 40,687,142 buster.

 

[Desperado]

Doesnt houston or maybe its austin have a giant under ground cove beneath the city full of super sold rock formations carved out by water over thousands of years. I saw it on the history channel i think looked really cool. Oh and the fact that Cloak and Dagger the movie was taped in Texas reduces you reason count to 40,687,142 buster.

heh that's definitely not Houston.

 

[Atari2600]

Atari2600

The traffic: No worse than any other city

The heat : see above

The hillbillies: not red neck country

The accents: huh?

The belt buckles: huh?

The country music: huh?

I think you've got your Texas cities mixed there sparky

Hi. You are simply wrong.

Traffic Congestion in U.S. Cities, 2002
Rank Urban area Annual delay
per person
in hours
1. Los Angeles, Calif. 136
2. San Francisco-Oakland, Calif. 92
3. Washington, DC-Md.-Va. 84
4. Seattle-Everett, Wash. 82
5. Houston, Tex. 75
http://www.bizjournals.com/houston/stories/2004/09/06/daily9.html

OLD SPICE SWEATIEST CITIES
2005 2004 2003 2002*
1. Phoenix 1. El Paso, Texas 1. Phoenix 1. San Antonio
2. Las Vegas 2. Greenville 2. Houston 2. Dallas/Fort Worth
3. Tucson 3. Phoenix 3. Miami 3. New Orleans
4. Miami 4. Corpus Christie 4. San Antonio 4. Houston
5. Corpus Christi 5. New Orleans 5. Fort Myers, Fla. 5. West Palm Beach, Fla.
6. West Palm Bch 6. Houston 6. West Palm Beach 6. Orlando, Fla.
7. Houston 7. Miami 7. Tampa 7. Memphis
http://64.233.161.104/search?q=cach....html+sweatiest+cities&hl=en&client=firefox-a

"Country Music, huh?" Are you serious? The wold's biggest honky tonk bar and all that other shit? Give me a break.

"Belt Buckles?" Have you looked at the size of the metal plates holding up the pants of some of these people? I've seen cars with smaller bumpers.

"Hillbillies" Yeah, um, there are a lot. Singing "Deep in the heart of Texas" at an Astros game is always fun.

BOOT CITY yeah.

On the plus side, you can get a free belt buckle for visiting. I've seen it on all the brochures.

Don't get into a Texas not sucking argument with me. You will lose.

 

[Desperado]

"Hillbillies" Yeah, um, there are a lot. Singing "Deep in the heart of Texas" at an Astros game is always fun.

heck yeah it is. and I hate that song.

 

[olimario]

Houston is so far from redneck it's not even funny. Sure you'll occasionally find some southern twang in someone's voice, but it ends there and it's quite endearing. You'll find far more backwater, inbred hillbillies in Mississippi and Alabama.

Country music is big all over the south, not just in Texas. Hell, with artists like Tim McGraw and Faith Hill, country music is big everywhere.

Belt buckles? I've seen a few but they've all been in small towns where ranching is still the primary source of income.

The heat in Houston is no worse than any other city as far south as it is, but it's made unbearable because of the humidity. Traffic sucks downtown during rush hour. If you can avoid driving during those 2 hours then you'll be fine.

 

[Atari2600]

I am aware that not all people there are rednecks and all that. I am just saying there are a lot, and all these things combined equal an unpleasant place.

I'm not a moron. I know that big belt buckles don't make a place shitty. I am just poking fun at a place that I hate. I also hate it because work never sends me there in the fall or winter - it's always summer time when I get to roll "Deep in the heart of Texas."

 

[Doth Togo]

Yeeeeeehaw!

WWJD?

 

[olimario]

I am aware that not all people there are rednecks and all that. I am just saying there are a lot, and all these things combined equal an unpleasant place.

I'm not a moron. I know that big belt buckles don't make a place shitty. I am just poking fun at a place that I hate. I also hate it because work never sends me there in the fall or winter - it's always summer time when I get to roll "Deep in the heart of Texas."

But there aren't a lot. If you think southern accent = redneck then maybe you are a moron.

 

[Days like these...]

if you aren't in Clear Lake, Katy, The Woodlands, or Sugarland, you're in a rundown shithole.

Shut the fuck up! Stay out of houston in your homogenous boring suburbs. While you pimp your girl, post pics of your twig and berries and spy on your neighbors.

Oli doesn't live in houston he lives in the burbs where he doesn't have to intermingle with people who are different than him.

Fuck you and dont claim houston homolimario!


We have all the restaurants. All the clubs, bars, pubs, downtown! Minute Maid park, Reliant Arena and Toyota Center. We have the galleria, montrose, heights, river oaks. We have ethnic diversity, multiculturalism, and generally speaking good peoples.

What do you have? A big house out in Butt Fuck Egypt.

I'll stay in my shithole aka houston

 

[siamesedreamer]

I've been living in Houston off and on for about 8 months while getting treatment at MD Anderson Cancer Center. The Residence Inn I stay at is just across the highway from this new church in the West University area. Its really not that big. I've seen way bigger churches in Atlanta and Mississippi. Its really out of place as its in a corporate type area.

As far as Houston goes, I think its an OK place. I'm from Atlanta, so I'm used to a big city. There is a large latin population - something that definately takes some time getting used too. My only complaints about Houston is that city sprawl has gone haywire, the roads are horrificly potholed, and at anytime during the day they'll shut down half the lanes on the highway without any warning creating a massive traffic jam.