Sho_Nuff82
Member
Well, sorta.
So for those of you who don't know me that well, I recently finished grad school and work part time as a bouncer at a local bar to help pay bills while I search for a job. I usually work "college night" on Thursdays, so named because they serve $1 drafts and it's loaded with all of the local college students (Kenmore area in Boston). This being a spring break week, it was relatively quiet, until around 1245 AM when one of the bartenders calls me over to babysit a patron.
This guy, around 21-22 yo, ran up a $200 tab during the course of the evening (I too wondered how this could happen on dollar draft night, but it made sense later), and when trying to close out, his card was rejected. I was told to make sure he didn't run while the bartender allowed him to use our ATM to "transfer around some funds" to pay the bill. Another bouncer and I walk him to the ATM and hang back just a bit in case he tries to run. He dicks around at the ATM a bit, then starts calling/texting on his phone. I assume he's contacting his parents, some friends, or his bank. His friends (1 guy and 2 girls) come over periodically and try to ask him what's wrong, he tells them to fuck off. So after stalling for 15 minutes, he asks if he can get the card he has behind the bar back, so he can get money off of that card.
The bartender takes his watch as collateral.
We go through the song and dance at the ATM again, and it's pretty clear he's not getting any cash. The whole time, the dude is belligerent and pissy anytime a bar worker or one of his friends asks him if he needs any assistance. He even flips off one of the bouncers. So at this point, we're resolved to simply wait until everyone clears out, and call the cops on him for trying to stiff the bar. He once again demands to go back to the bar, claiming that he's got the money in his account now, and demanding loudly that he wants his "$1200" watch back.
The bartender spends about 20 minutes running his card, to no avail. The whole time, I'm mouthing to my coworker "Please don't run, please don't run, please don't run" because I don't feel like tackling and beating his skinny ass.
At this point, his friends step in. The two girls in his group offer to split his tab. They pay it (and leave about a $2 tip). It's about 5 minutes to closing (2 AM), it seems like everything was actually resolved non-violently and no one had to get in any real trouble. BUT WAIT. Mr. Big Spender's ego won't let it go. So when he gets outside, he has a few choice words for the door guy (we'll call him "Chuck"), something along the lines of "Do you know who I am? Do you know what I have in my wallet?" to which Chuck responds, "No, but I know what I have in my wallet *opens wallet* money, because I'm not a broke piece of shit." This gets a laugh out of everyone outside.
Mr. Big Spender starts screaming and swearing as his female friend drags him down the block (the classic "hold me back!" move for people who don't really want to fight). Of course, he doesn't actually leave - he seethes at the end of the block for a bit, then walks back our way and hangs back leaning on a tree not too far from our entrance. Doesn't say anything, but once in a while punches the tree in blind rage. He tells his female friend to go the fuck home.
He's on his phone for a while as we clear the street in front of the bar. I figure he's calling a goon squad to come brawl with us. Nope. After everyone leaves, and it's just Chuck and I outside the bar, he walks back over to start some shit. Now I'm 6'4" and built pretty solid. Chuck is 6 ft and about 300 lbs of experienced ass-kicking. This guy was maybe 5'10" and 160 lbs soaking wet. But he doesn't want to fight, he wants a war of words. He gets right up in Chuck's face (Chuck jokes, "What, do you want to kiss me?") and starts ranting about how he's an undergrad at the prestigious Boston University, and how DARE we give him shit about being broke when he pays $50,000/yr in tuition, will make more money than everyone in the bar when he graduates, and then we'll all be serving him fries. He asks Chuck, who's older (40's), whether he went to bouncing college and if he's happy making such shit money at this stage in his life. Chuck breaks it down to him like this:
- You don't pay shit, your parents do
- I have a job, but even at this bar job I make more money than you
- Your parents paid $50,000 a year in tuition and you can't even balance a check book
- Even if you get a degree, I'm a better human being than you'll ever be
After getting clowned on again, the kid finally starts to leave, but not before promising that he'll be back next week. At this point, I step in and say, "Dude, you're never getting in this bar ever again in your life, who do you think you're kidding?" He's all "You'll see, you'll see, I'll be back next week, you fucking POS bouncers don't know anything." I say "Fuck you and fuck your safety school, I went to BC and I have my PhD you dumb son of a bitch."
And with that, we close the door as he wandered off in a huff. I honestly can't believe that people like this exist outside of movies. He was like the villain from an 80s college comedy. I have friends who've gone to just about every top ranked school in the country, and I can't think of a single one who has berated the waitstaff at an establishment using their degree as a shield for their dickery. And BU? Really? You're going to name drop a top 90 school to prove that you're better than someone? The guy was trying so hard to maintain this baller persona that he bought all kinds of ridiculously expensive drinks for his friends on a night known for cheap drinks, refused financial assistance from his friends for over an hour, and bragged about his watch while being escorted around the bar by two bouncers. Just unbelievable.
TLDR:
- Guy gets flagged for a cancelled transaction on a $200 tab
- Acts like a grumpy jerk while pretending to fix the problem
- Finally breaks down and lets his friends pay his tab
- Gets humiliated outside the bar by the door guy
- Waits for everyone to leave, gives a "I PAY $50,000/YR IN TUITION, YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID" speech
- Gets shut down again when door guy mentions he makes more money than him, and I mention that I have a BS and PhD from a better school and call him a dumbfuck
BONUS
Original Scene in question
So for those of you who don't know me that well, I recently finished grad school and work part time as a bouncer at a local bar to help pay bills while I search for a job. I usually work "college night" on Thursdays, so named because they serve $1 drafts and it's loaded with all of the local college students (Kenmore area in Boston). This being a spring break week, it was relatively quiet, until around 1245 AM when one of the bartenders calls me over to babysit a patron.
This guy, around 21-22 yo, ran up a $200 tab during the course of the evening (I too wondered how this could happen on dollar draft night, but it made sense later), and when trying to close out, his card was rejected. I was told to make sure he didn't run while the bartender allowed him to use our ATM to "transfer around some funds" to pay the bill. Another bouncer and I walk him to the ATM and hang back just a bit in case he tries to run. He dicks around at the ATM a bit, then starts calling/texting on his phone. I assume he's contacting his parents, some friends, or his bank. His friends (1 guy and 2 girls) come over periodically and try to ask him what's wrong, he tells them to fuck off. So after stalling for 15 minutes, he asks if he can get the card he has behind the bar back, so he can get money off of that card.
The bartender takes his watch as collateral.
We go through the song and dance at the ATM again, and it's pretty clear he's not getting any cash. The whole time, the dude is belligerent and pissy anytime a bar worker or one of his friends asks him if he needs any assistance. He even flips off one of the bouncers. So at this point, we're resolved to simply wait until everyone clears out, and call the cops on him for trying to stiff the bar. He once again demands to go back to the bar, claiming that he's got the money in his account now, and demanding loudly that he wants his "$1200" watch back.
The bartender spends about 20 minutes running his card, to no avail. The whole time, I'm mouthing to my coworker "Please don't run, please don't run, please don't run" because I don't feel like tackling and beating his skinny ass.
At this point, his friends step in. The two girls in his group offer to split his tab. They pay it (and leave about a $2 tip). It's about 5 minutes to closing (2 AM), it seems like everything was actually resolved non-violently and no one had to get in any real trouble. BUT WAIT. Mr. Big Spender's ego won't let it go. So when he gets outside, he has a few choice words for the door guy (we'll call him "Chuck"), something along the lines of "Do you know who I am? Do you know what I have in my wallet?" to which Chuck responds, "No, but I know what I have in my wallet *opens wallet* money, because I'm not a broke piece of shit." This gets a laugh out of everyone outside.
Mr. Big Spender starts screaming and swearing as his female friend drags him down the block (the classic "hold me back!" move for people who don't really want to fight). Of course, he doesn't actually leave - he seethes at the end of the block for a bit, then walks back our way and hangs back leaning on a tree not too far from our entrance. Doesn't say anything, but once in a while punches the tree in blind rage. He tells his female friend to go the fuck home.
He's on his phone for a while as we clear the street in front of the bar. I figure he's calling a goon squad to come brawl with us. Nope. After everyone leaves, and it's just Chuck and I outside the bar, he walks back over to start some shit. Now I'm 6'4" and built pretty solid. Chuck is 6 ft and about 300 lbs of experienced ass-kicking. This guy was maybe 5'10" and 160 lbs soaking wet. But he doesn't want to fight, he wants a war of words. He gets right up in Chuck's face (Chuck jokes, "What, do you want to kiss me?") and starts ranting about how he's an undergrad at the prestigious Boston University, and how DARE we give him shit about being broke when he pays $50,000/yr in tuition, will make more money than everyone in the bar when he graduates, and then we'll all be serving him fries. He asks Chuck, who's older (40's), whether he went to bouncing college and if he's happy making such shit money at this stage in his life. Chuck breaks it down to him like this:
- You don't pay shit, your parents do
- I have a job, but even at this bar job I make more money than you
- Your parents paid $50,000 a year in tuition and you can't even balance a check book
- Even if you get a degree, I'm a better human being than you'll ever be
After getting clowned on again, the kid finally starts to leave, but not before promising that he'll be back next week. At this point, I step in and say, "Dude, you're never getting in this bar ever again in your life, who do you think you're kidding?" He's all "You'll see, you'll see, I'll be back next week, you fucking POS bouncers don't know anything." I say "Fuck you and fuck your safety school, I went to BC and I have my PhD you dumb son of a bitch."
And with that, we close the door as he wandered off in a huff. I honestly can't believe that people like this exist outside of movies. He was like the villain from an 80s college comedy. I have friends who've gone to just about every top ranked school in the country, and I can't think of a single one who has berated the waitstaff at an establishment using their degree as a shield for their dickery. And BU? Really? You're going to name drop a top 90 school to prove that you're better than someone? The guy was trying so hard to maintain this baller persona that he bought all kinds of ridiculously expensive drinks for his friends on a night known for cheap drinks, refused financial assistance from his friends for over an hour, and bragged about his watch while being escorted around the bar by two bouncers. Just unbelievable.
TLDR:
- Guy gets flagged for a cancelled transaction on a $200 tab
- Acts like a grumpy jerk while pretending to fix the problem
- Finally breaks down and lets his friends pay his tab
- Gets humiliated outside the bar by the door guy
- Waits for everyone to leave, gives a "I PAY $50,000/YR IN TUITION, YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID" speech
- Gets shut down again when door guy mentions he makes more money than him, and I mention that I have a BS and PhD from a better school and call him a dumbfuck
BONUS
Original Scene in question
