The Black Gelding
Banned
Okay, so I'm eating lunch with my friends, and we're joking around about a teacher. Basically the discussion was pretty damn funny. I couldn't stop laughing. So I was eating some bread and I thought to myself, "Gee.... If I keep on eating this bread, I will surely choke. But if I spit it out, I will look like a retard." So I kept on chewing. I swollowed. Then I could feel myself slowly choking... like wtf? So I sat for a moment and thought, "I can't breathe, so I must be choking."
Then all Hell broke loose. I am panicking, so I try doing the international choking signal. I thought I was doing it, but apparently I was doing it dead wrong. So I tried banging on the table and pointing to myself. My friends just sat there and watched me with this "WTF?" look on their faces. So, realizing that my friends are dipshits, I jump out of my seat and start flailing around, hoping that SOMEONE sees me. I jump into the middle of the food court, and flail around, pound my chest, pointing to myself, gyrating, doing anything I can get so people know I'm choking. I hit the ground and started rolling around, out of sheer panic. I after a min and a half of this, I stand up, and with, what I thought were my last waking moments, I flick off all the guys at my table. I thought I was going to die. Everything was going dark, and blurry.
Just then I realized that the Assistant Principal is giving me the Heimleck. I shot out a little bit of the bread and spat up the rest. When I regained my wits, the first thing I did was say "FUCK YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!" to my friends for just sitting there cracking up. Especially to the one who took anatomy with me where we LEARNED how to do the Heimleck. Then I sat back down and laughed my ass off. The principal got a kick outta that.
All those fucks in the lunch room thought I was just fucking around. Jesus. I was fucking dieng. Nobody does that shit for more than 2 mins if they are just fucking around.
Moments later, everyone is talking about what just happend. Then my anatomy teacher comes down, and says, "Did you do the sign?" I say "I thought I did." but that fucker at my table was like "hahaha, No you didn't we thought you were just fucking around" Then other people start comming up and ask:
"What happend? Were you really choking?"
"Yes"
"Did you do the signal?"
"WTF?!?"
Gah. The rest of the day seemed like an ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm. And the joke of the episode was "Did you do the signal?"
Seriously, what the fuck? Ya know?
Peace.
Then all Hell broke loose. I am panicking, so I try doing the international choking signal. I thought I was doing it, but apparently I was doing it dead wrong. So I tried banging on the table and pointing to myself. My friends just sat there and watched me with this "WTF?" look on their faces. So, realizing that my friends are dipshits, I jump out of my seat and start flailing around, hoping that SOMEONE sees me. I jump into the middle of the food court, and flail around, pound my chest, pointing to myself, gyrating, doing anything I can get so people know I'm choking. I hit the ground and started rolling around, out of sheer panic. I after a min and a half of this, I stand up, and with, what I thought were my last waking moments, I flick off all the guys at my table. I thought I was going to die. Everything was going dark, and blurry.
Just then I realized that the Assistant Principal is giving me the Heimleck. I shot out a little bit of the bread and spat up the rest. When I regained my wits, the first thing I did was say "FUCK YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!" to my friends for just sitting there cracking up. Especially to the one who took anatomy with me where we LEARNED how to do the Heimleck. Then I sat back down and laughed my ass off. The principal got a kick outta that.
All those fucks in the lunch room thought I was just fucking around. Jesus. I was fucking dieng. Nobody does that shit for more than 2 mins if they are just fucking around.
Moments later, everyone is talking about what just happend. Then my anatomy teacher comes down, and says, "Did you do the sign?" I say "I thought I did." but that fucker at my table was like "hahaha, No you didn't we thought you were just fucking around" Then other people start comming up and ask:
"What happend? Were you really choking?"
"Yes"
"Did you do the signal?"
"WTF?!?"
Gah. The rest of the day seemed like an ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm. And the joke of the episode was "Did you do the signal?"
Seriously, what the fuck? Ya know?
Peace.
