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[Hitler Stole My Potato]

My neighbor who just died recently was a WWII veteran and his widow is having a garage sale, getting rid of everything before she moves down south so she could be near her daughter. I've always been pretty friendly with them and have taken care of their yard for the past couple of years because they've been so nice to me and my girlfriend. Anyway, I went over to the garage sale just so visit and really had no intention of buying anything from Gloria. When I got there I noticed that she had quite a lot of Ben's WWII memoribila for sale which immediately got me interested. Flags, uniforms, pins, etc. Don't ask me why but I just love this kind of stuff and Gloria knows it. She asked me if I'd be willing to take something from her because she didn't want to sell it and she didn't want to bring it down to Arizona with her. I wasn't sure she was talking about but I agreed just 'cause I like the lady.

She then took me into the house and down to the basement where she gave me a box and told me to open it. When I did there was a human skull in it. I immediately had a WTF moment. Gloria told me that when Ben was in the Battle of the Bulge he came across a foxhole with some dead SS troops that were burned to hell and he kept a skull as a "war trophy". Sick fucks. She sure as hell didn't want to keep it anymore now that her husband was dead and she didn't want to turn it in because she was scared that they'd get in trouble. So again I agreed to take the skull off her hands not knowing what the hell I was going to do with it.

Now I've got a dead Nazi's head in my house.

 

[Matlock]

Hitler may have stolen your potato, but you have his skull. I think you win, son.

 

[D2M15]

Is this like karmic payback for the potato?

DAMN YOU, MATLOCK. One freaking minute late.

 

[Uno Ill Nino]

Dude, you should put that thing to rest.

 

[Tuvoc]

It will make for an awesome paperweight.

 

[COCKLES]

That's no dead nazi! Wolfenstien Zombie reanimation GET!

But seriously....

Talk with a church minister or something in private to get it laid to rest.

 

[pollo]

look at the dsl's on that mutha fucka...

hitler, you know what to do..mmmmm

 

[psycho_snake]

Well its an interesting item to remember your next door neighbour. What exactly are you going to do with it though, just put it back in its box? It would be funny to use it during Halloween though

 

[ToxicAdam]

Paint it red and stick glass eyes in it!

 

[op_ivy]

thats... disturbing.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

how can you be sure its a Nazi? For all we know, that elderly couple used to get their jollys by luring teenagers into their basement and murdering them. You could be holding the skull of a kid that used to live in your house!

 

[jett]

:lol Jesuschrist. Put it to rest man...

 

[Meatpuppet]

That's no dead nazi! Wolfenstien Zombie reanimation GET!

But seriously....

Talk with a church minister or something in private to get it laid to rest.

Agreed.

I mean, would you react in the same manner to a german poster posting with images of an Allied skull his grandaddy had kept?

At the footsoldier level, they were just smucks doing what they had to do, same as the American infantrymen.

 

[aparisi2274]

Why dont you try to find out who the skull was...

I mean I am sure there are ways of identifying the person through dental records. perhaps he still has family in Germany... If you are going to put it to rest, that is the best thing to do.

I mean they cant arrest your neighbor, because he's dead... so Just start the process of trying to identify who this guy was.

 

[3kuSaS]

But Nazi's were evil...

...do me a favor and take a piss on it.

 

[temp]

You could start your own production of Hamlet.

 

[Fifty]

You are so going to be haunted.

 

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

how can you be sure its a Nazi? For all we know, that elderly couple used to get their jollys by luring teenagers into their basement and murdering them. You could be holding the skull of a kid that used to live in your house!

You know, that's kind of what I was thinking. Not that it was some kid that used to live in my house but what if she was feeding me a line and it wasn't a Nazi? I've never caught them in a lie before but if you were going to lie about something, this would be it. Hell, Ben and Gloria might've been killing people all over the country.

I mean I am sure there are ways of identifying the person through dental records. perhaps he still has family in Germany... If you are going to put it to rest, that is the best thing to do.

I actually work for LabCorp here in Seattle and we do forensic testing. I'm going to ask around and see about it possibly getting identified.

 

[Ghost]

I wonder what happens if you point it at a Jew or a Black man...i bet the eyes glow or something...try it out.

 

[Keyser Soze]

Well you know what to do....

Tuck your head into your jumper and run around with it under you arm!

 

[dem]

How much do you want for it?

 

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

How much do you want for it?

I don't know. What' the going rate on human skulls these days?

 

[dem]

5 dollars

I'll give you 10 if you sneak it over the border

 

[psycho_snake]

Well you know what to do....

Tuck your head into your jumper and run around with it under you arm!

:lol It would be even funnier if he did it at a nursury or a primary school, but that would be really mean.

 

[maynerd]

Skull fuck it.

 

[sportzhead]

The human skull is amazing. How does it feel to hold a human head in your hand? Just looking at those close up pictures frightens me.

Give the skull to the CSI crew; they will have a complete, detailed background story, including the exact time he was killed and what he was thinking at that very moment. All in about 5 minutes too.

 

[tedtropy]

Bungie congratulates you for finding the last hidden skull.

 

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

How does it feel to hold a human head in your hand?

skulltastic.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

there is one thing you HAVE to do before you part with it though. KY Jelly + eye socket...

 

[silver]

:lol

Those harmless-looking old people next door killed somebody and now you're fucked :lol

 

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

there is one thing you HAVE to do before you part with it though. KY Jelly + eye socket...

Oh that's as good as done. I'm already lubin' it up.

 

[AirBrian]

:lol

Those harmless-looking old people next door killed somebody and now you're fucked :lol

...

Skull fuck it.

there is one thing you HAVE to do before you part with it though. KY Jelly + eye socket...

...I'd say the skull is.

 

[Smiles and Cries]

this would be considered a war crime in someplaces

put it to rest man

 

[MattKeil]

Verify its identity/age, then do whatever the hell you want with it. Halloween just got a whole lot more fun!

And ignore the people telling you to "put it to rest." Sheesh. It's an inanimate fucking object. It's not tired, and the dead guy certainly doesn't care. If it doesn't bother you to have it in the house, that's the end of it.

 

[Leatherface]

My neighbor who just died recently was a WWII veteran and his widow is having a garage sale, getting rid of everything before she moves down south so she could be near her daughter. I've always been pretty friendly with them and have taken care of their yard for the past couple of years because they've been so nice to me and my girlfriend. Anyway, I went over to the garage sale just so visit and really had no intention of buying anything from Gloria. When I got there I noticed that she had quite a lot of Ben's WWII memoribila for sale which immediately got me interested. Flags, uniforms, pins, etc. Don't ask me why but I just love this kind of stuff and Gloria knows it. She asked me if I'd be willing to take something from her because she didn't want to sell it and she didn't want to bring it down to Arizona with her. I wasn't sure she was talking about but I agreed just 'cause I like the lady.

She then took me into the house and down to the basement where she gave me a box and told me to open it. When I did there was a human skull in it. I immediately had a WTF moment. Gloria told me that when Ben was in the Battle of the Bulge he came across a foxhole with some dead SS troops that were burned to hell and he kept a skull as a "war trophy". Sick fucks. She sure as hell didn't want to keep it anymore now that her husband was dead and she didn't want to turn it in because she was scared that they'd get in trouble. So again I agreed to take the skull off her hands not knowing what the hell I was going to do with it.

Now I've got a dead Nazi's head in my house.

That's fucking cool. If you ever decide to get rid of it, sell it to me!

 

[Flynn]

Nazi ghosts are extra scary.

 

[Blackace]

You know, that's kind of what I was thinking. Not that it was some kid that used to live in my house but what if she was feeding me a line and it wasn't a Nazi? I've never caught them in a lie before but if you were going to lie about something, this would be it. Hell, Ben and Gloria might've been killing people all over the country.



I actually work for LabCorp here in Seattle and we do forensic testing. I'm going to ask around and see about it possibly getting identified.

you make a fellow Seattle native and WWII history buff proud...

 

[UltraMarioMan]

Is the skull's name Murray?

 

[Red Scarlet]

Whoa, that's pretty cool. Did you buy any other WW2 stuff from your neighbors?

 

[Blackace]

looks over about 60 years old.. and burned... unless that was Ben's method of killing paperboys... but really... it most likely is the real deal.. creepy but cool.. now you need a neighbor from the Asian campain so you can start your Axis collection

 

[evil ways]

You should call a friend to come over your house and pull a prank. Tell him/her you need to get rid of something and then put the skull inside a large ziplock back with fake blood poured all over it.

 

[dicklaurent]

"put it to rest"

lol. what an inane quote, and repeated so many times throughout the thread. what exactly does it mean? burying it? oh you believers in ritual magic sure know how to crack me up but good. :lol

 

[DarienA]

The word skullfuck comes to mind... ah someone else to... anyway that's cool... and weird at the same time... hey ever wake up at night and swear you saw a glow in it's eyes.... don't let it face in the direction of your bed while you sleep!

 

[snacknuts]

That's awesome. Note to self: Make an effort to befriend elderly neighbors.

 

[Lemurnator]

How do you know it belongs to a nazi and not a teenage girl the womans husband raped and murdered?

 

[snacknuts]

How do you know it belongs to a nazi and not a teenage girl the womans husband raped and murdered?

That might actually be better. Less gay to skullfuck a chick's skull.

 

[Kobun Heat]

That is the goddamn awesomest thing ever. Keep it forever and pass it on to your kids.

 

[dicklaurent]

Could you take a photo of the line going across the top of the skull? Please? Heh

 

[Smiles and Cries]

Verify its identity/age, then do whatever the hell you want with it. Halloween just got a whole lot more fun!

And ignore the people telling you to "put it to rest." Sheesh. It's an inanimate fucking object. It's not tired, and the dead guy certainly doesn't care. If it doesn't bother you to have it in the house, that's the end of it.

well that is one way of looking at it... in that case can I have your head when you die?
I mean you won't be needing it or anything


Cool or not I would not want my head as some collector's paperweight
no matter what you believe in somethings are just damn insane

 

[WordAssassin]

That is so fucking cool. I'd totaly put that up on my mantel or something. While I agree it'd be a nice thing to identify it and send it to the family (LMAO, they just get a box in the mail and open it to find a skull and a note - "This was your uncle.") I think it'd be even cooler to keep it. It's an awesome conversation piece, that's for damn sure.

Actually, on second thought, that'd be fucked up to send it to the family. Here they have their brother or husband or father killed in the war, it's over. Suddenly some guy from the states is like, "Hey, my neighbor took your dad's head in the war as a little keepsake. They gave it to me and I thought you should have it." That would be horrible. I'd say, find out who it was, maybe learn a little about them, and then keep it on your coffee table. That way when you have people over and they ask about it, you not only have the story of how you got it, but you can bullshit about who the guy was and make up a war story for how Ben got it.