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So, yeah, this guy at work is hitting on me.

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C

Cosmic Bus

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I'm hoping there's an easy answer for this, with a bare minumum of effort and/or involvement on my part. Really, I've gotten used to having a life free of this particular kind of decision and wasn't looking for a change of pace. :)

Over the past couple of weeks this guy's been flirting with me quite a bit, conveniently timed with the recent break from his boyfriend, and a few days ago he managed to get me to admit that I'm gay (not typically being open about my personal life with anyone, he was, of course, thrilled to find this out). Now he's dropping some seriously heavy hints about getting with me, culminating with an invite to have drinks sometime and slipping me his number.

Now, there are a few issues that I've got here:

a) I'm part of management, and while he doesn't work directly under me (*chortle!*) I don't think it's entirely appropriate and could theoretically bite me in the ass down the road. And hierarchy aside, work sex/relationships (God forbid. That's the last fucking thing I want.) never seem to be a smart idea.

b) He's a total flaming manslut and I'm the quiet, insecure, and untouched morning snow of Closet Case, USA. It an oil-and-vinegar combination: they aren't made to mix, but there's the potential for a fine and sassy vinegrette given the proper ingredients (i.e. booze and a Portishead CD). Just thinking about may or may not happen freaks the hell out of me. Ball of nerves that I am, I'd probably end up vomiting on him at some point. At the same time, who knows when this kind of opportunity is going to arise again...

c) Frankly, I'm not really attracted to this duder (he's like a really thin, flaunty homo version of Jeremy Piven), but I'd be lying if I said the virtual guarantee of sex is swirling through my mind a lot.

Advice, plz.
 
Use the work/sex excuse, which wouldn't really be an excuse here since you probably care about your job, right?

Throw in the old, "You seem like a really nice guy/person, but....." line, that alone should give him an indication that you do not want anything with him.
 
Just tell him the truth, that you don't want to have a relationship with someone at work. If he's not a total dipshit, he'll understand.
 
Point C is the only thing that's important here. You are not attracted. Tell him you're not interested in a relationship.
 
bishoptl said:
Don't shit where you eat, if I could be so blunt. Plus you're not attracted to the guy anyways so...?
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Repeated... I've done this once... once... goddamn what a mistake. She was so hot though... <sigh> the good ole days....
 
The Shadow said:
You're gay?!
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Oh, come on now. I mentioned this way back when you were still posting at Game Assault. :)

Anywho, thanks for confirming what I assumed would be the answer to my semi-quandry. Perhaps Steve Carrell will consider me for a direct-to-video prequel to his movie...
 
Trust me. In the end the sex will not outweigh the drama at work...especially considering that you are not attracted to him on a relationship level. Use him to meet some other dudes he might know.
 
Ruzbeh said:
Well, like, 95% of the population.
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I think the number's less than that. Probably closer to 90%. No, I have no papers to back it up, but going by GAF, it could be low as 50%! :lol

I thank my gay brethren for discovering prostate stimulation, though.
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*makes note to never touch Ruzbeh's fingers*
 
Shogmaster said:
I think the number's less than that. Probably closer to 90%. No, I have no papers to back it up, but going by GAF, it could be low as 50%! :lol
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I thought that around 5% of all humans or something is gay? And it's about the same for animals, too.
*makes note to never touch Ruzbeh's fingers*
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HURHUR. I've actually tried it. But it's real hard and you need proper toys.
 
Yeah, using work as the crutch is the key. Just don't lay it on too thick and make it sound like you'd be interested if not for the forbidden co-worker angle or else he'll redouble his efforts thinking that's the only stumbling block. Give "I can't date co-workers" as the main reason, but throw in a dash of "just not interested" too.
 
Ruzbeh said:
I thought that around 5% of all humans or something is gay? And it's about the same for animals, too.
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I've seen numbers anywhere from 3% to 15% being gay. And there's that famous one in ten figure too. So who know for sure?

HURHUR. I've actually tried it. But it's real hard and you need proper toys.
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*Makes note to never touch any of Ruzbeh's stuff*
 
bishoptl said:
Who isn't?
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433ez.gif
 
Hotarubi said:
Oh, come on now. I mentioned this way back when you were still posting at Game Assault. :)

Anywho, thanks for confirming what I assumed would be the answer to my semi-quandry. Perhaps Steve Carrell will consider me for a direct-to-video prequel to his movie...
Click to expand...

As everyone else has said don't shit where you eat. Fucking at work is a bad thing and causes more problems than it's worth.

Man Hota we've been posting together for what 8, 10 years now and I have to tell you when you told us you were gay it hit me like a ton of bricks. I still "cope" with it as wierd as that is but, I'm glad you are still doing well it took a lot of courage to come out to us like you did.

ForzaItalia said:
Trust me. In the end the sex will not outweigh the drama at work...especially considering that you are not attracted to him on a relationship level. Use him to meet some other dudes he might know.
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I would agree with this but, it puts you in some social situations where your judgement could be comprimised. Tread carefully my friend.
 
Not to be overly dramatic, but this is sexual harrassment. It'd suck (no pun intended) to have to deal with this at work

wait, he doesn't go by "Black Deatha" does he?
 
this sounds a lot like fat-chick syndrome, where you consider porking someone you wouldn't normally pork just because of the convenience of getting yer rocks off.

i've been tempted many a time, and each time i've luckily been able to avoid it all. I suggest the same for you, especially if, like I'm reading it, the idea of guaranteed sex is the main push towards it all. I could be wrong, but losing your job so you could get some herpes probably isn't a good trade off. Just jerk it man!
 
The old cliche is very, very true:

Do NOT put the pen in company ink. Restraint can be painful, but the line needs to be drawn.

Once - we're talking, like, 3 or 4 years ago - I worked with this gorgeous blonde. More cute than hot, and by all indications it could've gone somewhere if I let it. I didn't though, and to this day I still think it was the right move. Sex + work = trouble.
 
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