http://barstoolsports.com/article252.html
Allow me to introduce myself. Im the best fucking softball player youve ever met.
I just spent three hours in the batting cage and hit the shit out of the ball. Line drives, big flies, opposite field shots. I can do it all. Some kids next to me in the cages were staring and pointing at me. I cant blame them. Theyve probably never seen a 40 year-old man wearing Oakley Blades and batting gloves who can hit bombs like me. Especially not with shorts this tight.
:lolI just bought all new equipment for this season. You should see the acrylic baseball pants I got. Super tight. I picked up a new set of wristbands, a tube of eye black and a pair of 3-inch mud cleats, you know, just in case I need to break up a double play. I also got my hands on a $350 titanium bat for a little extra power. It cost me a weeks pay, but screw it, when I start cranking 400-foot shots it will be worth it. Plus I might need it to beat off all the trim that will be chasing me after the games.
Softball groupies love guys who can go deep.