somethingawful's review of GTA: SA

Status
Not open for further replies.
www.somethingawful.com

SPOILER BELOW!!!!!!!!! SPOILER BELOW!!!!!!!!!

here are some choice excerpts...

The main course, of course, of San Andreas are the missions themselves. You would think that after four years Rockstar could be more creative with their objectives. Every mission goes pretty much like this. Drive someone somewhere, pick something up, oh no the police, run. Do this a hundred times and you have beaten the game. On one mission I was asked to drive CJ's cousin's grandmother to the store to buy some hemorrhoid cream. As CJ comes out of the store you discover that his cousin's grandmother actually stole the cream as she has no money. A 5 star wanted level is slapped onto your wanted meter and off you go driving grandma's inflamed ass all over San Andreas trying to get home while she hits you with a wooden spoon and screaming that you are driving too goddamn fast. Pretty much every mission is like this!

Pros: The incredibly detailed mini-games. They are like whole other games in themselves.

Cons: Boring missions. Horrible graphics. Predictable story.
Having CJ die at the end was melodramatic and cliched.

In conclusion I felt the game lacked depth and bordered on retarded. It was a lackluster experience at best. Better luck next time Rockstar.

Score: * *

The cities are masterfully built featuring many large rectangles and cubes with low-resolution textures applied that may resemble something that possibly looks like a house or skyscraper. And what's more impressive is just how huge these cities are. In order to make San Andreas nearly ten times the size of Vice City and Super Mario Bros. 3 combined, Rockstar Games used an advanced technique called "copy and paste". By copying a house and pasting it into the same map four hundred times programmers can create huge cities that people with no jobs can wander through for hours.

It took the power of Rockstar games to liberate the black man and put him into a video game. What they didn't liberate, of course, was their A.I. As CJ players will be able to out-run, out-gun, and out-gum enemies in every mission of the game. In fact, you could probably just hold down the circle and R1 buttons, run to the yellow blip on your radar, and still beat most missions.

:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol
 
Dude shouldn't you have a spoiler tag on that ... something major with the main character is said to happen at the end ... thats pretty big spoiler.
 
I guess this proves that people don't actually 'read' reviews anymore and are only concerned about the final score. You can easily tell this is a joke by the previous paragraph that was quoted. Come on
 
Actually, I heard from my brother's girlfriend's sister's husband's newphew that he
gets a sex change at the end...
 
SomethingAwful.com said:
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas tells the story of a man named Carl Jordan who, after getting beat up by some bullies in west Philidelphia, catches a plane to his mother's house in Bel Air, San Andreas.
:lol :lol

I love this review!
 
Sorry about my internet ignorance, but does someone want to give me some background on Something Awful? That review was hilarious.

Edit: grammer
 
If that is a spoiler, it falls under the category of "if it's true I don't care because it'd be so lame when I found out anyway."
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom