anthony2690
Member
Hey, neogaf it's been a while...
Anyway, about 5 weeks ago, I finally left an awful 8 year relationship, I had genuinely been so unhappy in that relationship for years, I think I probably checked out around 2020, after I got her a limited animal crossing switch at launch to find out she had had been telling some other dude she loved him
(they never even met, COVID madness she claimed)
And she would call me a fat cunt and always try and argue with me, and I'd grin every time what made her angrier at me, I'd just get nervous, I didn't want to argue & she would say mean stuff like I hope you die in your sleep etc.
Anyway, I stayed a lot longer than I should have, I was really passive and just tolerated her I guess?
There was no love, no affection, I avoided her, we literally just cohabitated, then two and bit years ago, I started walking and as some may know from previous posts, lost a lot of weight. (I have since lost over half my body weight now and building muscle)
Anyway, then I'd get comments like you think you're all that now you've lost weight, I couldn't win
We got two dogs, I really adored the dogs and think I stayed cause I really loved them, they showed me nothing but unconditional love.
Anyway, I made a friend via Reddit, she is a lesbian, and is like my biggest hype man, really helped me build my confidence and supported me, as you can imagine she ex absolutely hated her and would accuse me of having affairs etc, was a nightmare.
And then a few months back I downloaded this friendship app and met the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life, she was literally on the retail park I work at, visiting a different shop there, and came and met me after work, and we hung out together and it was genuinely lovely.
Then she kept inviting me out, we would get dinner together, coffee, go on huge walks, beautiful country parks, hell she would bring me a drink when she met me up
And then my ex partner went away abroad & I booked time of off work, and I was home alone with the dogs, so I could literally see my best friend and this girl almost every day without hassle, I put my phone on do not disturb, so the ex couldn't hassle/interrogate me.
This friendship was pretty much a secret, as I knew I'd get so much abuse, and holy shit, I realised I had a huge crush on this girl, like proper falling.
The way she would look at me, smile at me, the way she would do cute poses, and get photos together/of each other, she would pose me for the pics, and get me to drink alcohol, I don't drink, but I would happily drink Asahi or hopical storm with her
She would ask to come round mine when the ex was away and I'd cook for her and we would watch old Jim Carrey movies together like yes man and play this sonic racing game together
Hell she planned this trip to a country park I'd never been to before with her and it was incredible.
And then before I knew it my ex partner was coming back from holiday and I knew this would not happen anymore and I'd really miss it more than anything.
And as I treat my insta like a diary, I was looking at a picture of me and her together as I was uploading pictures of this country park and debating whether to upload this picture or not (I didn't)
But the ex saw the picture and absolutely lost her shit, and she packed my stuff up, and demanded I leave, so I went to the gym and met up with my best friend and then went back to grab my stuff, what she denied me, and made me go on absolute goose chase for about a week to get my possessions back, Not fun, she thought I'd beg to stay and talk to sort things out with her.
But honestly it was like the biggest weight lifted of my shoulders ever, I crashed on my best friends floor a few nights and then return to my parents in a different city.
I'd be on the phone to my best friend telling her I really like this girl I met, she said it was obvious that she liked me back and I was oblivious, because she is like no girl is going to go on a 20 mile walk with you if they don't like you, and she said when we all went to get dinner and went and got pizza from Peter pizzeria she said it was like her and other person were crashing our date
Anyway, a week later I meet up with the girl I like, we go for a walk, go to two different pubs, and then she walks me to train station and she strokes my arm and asks if I want to stay at hers?
But makes me promise to be a good boy
Obviously I oblige, I'd never dream of making a move and ruining the lovely days we have together.
We go hers, sit on her sofa and she seems upset and confides in me about something personal and hugs me, I feel really sad for her.
Then she she gets up and climbs on me, legs either side of me and clings on to me, with the tightest cuddle ever, I'm genuinely mad startled, and then she gazes at me with that look and she tells me she has been dreaming about us being together with our own place, and kisses me, I genuinely feel like I have pinch myself, like what the hell is going on. (I'd been dreaming of this, but never ever thought it would happen)
Anyway she leads me to the hand to bed and we are just cuddling and kissing and I accidently grazed her bum with my hand and moved it away super quick and she puts my hand back there
And yeah it ended up being a really magically night, and we've been seeing each other for just over a month now.
It's honestly been the best time of my life, despite living in a different city, I desperately want to get back to the city I was living in.
She cooks for me, takes a genuine interest, she shows me so much love and respect, it honestly feels far too good to be true and when I'm not with her, I think about her all the time, I do kinda hate that as I'm not use too it, and it does worry me a little as it does seem far to good to be true.
I cooked for her the other day, that went really well considering I've never cooked fresh before, usually only frozen stuff, she does want to push/encourage me to better myself, like learning to drive and getting a better job, as she says she dreams about us having a family together one day and I'd need to be able to support that & I want to be able to do these things and not let her down, she says I wouldn't need to worry about mortgage or rent, as she can get a place outright in the future, I just need to worry about proving for her and the kids.
She thinks we are good together as she will encourage me to better myself and around me she can relax, be herself and is genuinely happy.
I'll probably delete this post later as I imagine my gaf brothers will rip the shit out of me
But I really need to get my ass in gear and learn to drive, but due to everything going on, I'm broke and trying to sort a place out to live, I have a viewing tomorrow, but I am thinking if learn to drive the career opportunities it will open up for me will be great and I can really achieve great things
Lastly she said she only made friends with me originally as I was in a relationship and I wouldn't be creepy towards her, and then when I became single and because I never once made a move, but she thought it was obvious I liked her, she had to make a move as she realised I never would due to me being oblivious
I apologise in advance if this worded insanely poorly, & lastly only banjo-chan, can see the girl who has taken me away from him
haha
Edit: dear diary that ended up being an essay/ramble!
Anyway, about 5 weeks ago, I finally left an awful 8 year relationship, I had genuinely been so unhappy in that relationship for years, I think I probably checked out around 2020, after I got her a limited animal crossing switch at launch to find out she had had been telling some other dude she loved him

And she would call me a fat cunt and always try and argue with me, and I'd grin every time what made her angrier at me, I'd just get nervous, I didn't want to argue & she would say mean stuff like I hope you die in your sleep etc.
Anyway, I stayed a lot longer than I should have, I was really passive and just tolerated her I guess?
There was no love, no affection, I avoided her, we literally just cohabitated, then two and bit years ago, I started walking and as some may know from previous posts, lost a lot of weight. (I have since lost over half my body weight now and building muscle)
Anyway, then I'd get comments like you think you're all that now you've lost weight, I couldn't win

We got two dogs, I really adored the dogs and think I stayed cause I really loved them, they showed me nothing but unconditional love.
Anyway, I made a friend via Reddit, she is a lesbian, and is like my biggest hype man, really helped me build my confidence and supported me, as you can imagine she ex absolutely hated her and would accuse me of having affairs etc, was a nightmare.
And then a few months back I downloaded this friendship app and met the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life, she was literally on the retail park I work at, visiting a different shop there, and came and met me after work, and we hung out together and it was genuinely lovely.
Then she kept inviting me out, we would get dinner together, coffee, go on huge walks, beautiful country parks, hell she would bring me a drink when she met me up

And then my ex partner went away abroad & I booked time of off work, and I was home alone with the dogs, so I could literally see my best friend and this girl almost every day without hassle, I put my phone on do not disturb, so the ex couldn't hassle/interrogate me.
This friendship was pretty much a secret, as I knew I'd get so much abuse, and holy shit, I realised I had a huge crush on this girl, like proper falling.
The way she would look at me, smile at me, the way she would do cute poses, and get photos together/of each other, she would pose me for the pics, and get me to drink alcohol, I don't drink, but I would happily drink Asahi or hopical storm with her

She would ask to come round mine when the ex was away and I'd cook for her and we would watch old Jim Carrey movies together like yes man and play this sonic racing game together

Hell she planned this trip to a country park I'd never been to before with her and it was incredible.
And then before I knew it my ex partner was coming back from holiday and I knew this would not happen anymore and I'd really miss it more than anything.
And as I treat my insta like a diary, I was looking at a picture of me and her together as I was uploading pictures of this country park and debating whether to upload this picture or not (I didn't)
But the ex saw the picture and absolutely lost her shit, and she packed my stuff up, and demanded I leave, so I went to the gym and met up with my best friend and then went back to grab my stuff, what she denied me, and made me go on absolute goose chase for about a week to get my possessions back, Not fun, she thought I'd beg to stay and talk to sort things out with her.
But honestly it was like the biggest weight lifted of my shoulders ever, I crashed on my best friends floor a few nights and then return to my parents in a different city.
I'd be on the phone to my best friend telling her I really like this girl I met, she said it was obvious that she liked me back and I was oblivious, because she is like no girl is going to go on a 20 mile walk with you if they don't like you, and she said when we all went to get dinner and went and got pizza from Peter pizzeria she said it was like her and other person were crashing our date

Anyway, a week later I meet up with the girl I like, we go for a walk, go to two different pubs, and then she walks me to train station and she strokes my arm and asks if I want to stay at hers?
But makes me promise to be a good boy

Obviously I oblige, I'd never dream of making a move and ruining the lovely days we have together.
We go hers, sit on her sofa and she seems upset and confides in me about something personal and hugs me, I feel really sad for her.
Then she she gets up and climbs on me, legs either side of me and clings on to me, with the tightest cuddle ever, I'm genuinely mad startled, and then she gazes at me with that look and she tells me she has been dreaming about us being together with our own place, and kisses me, I genuinely feel like I have pinch myself, like what the hell is going on. (I'd been dreaming of this, but never ever thought it would happen)
Anyway she leads me to the hand to bed and we are just cuddling and kissing and I accidently grazed her bum with my hand and moved it away super quick and she puts my hand back there

And yeah it ended up being a really magically night, and we've been seeing each other for just over a month now.
It's honestly been the best time of my life, despite living in a different city, I desperately want to get back to the city I was living in.
She cooks for me, takes a genuine interest, she shows me so much love and respect, it honestly feels far too good to be true and when I'm not with her, I think about her all the time, I do kinda hate that as I'm not use too it, and it does worry me a little as it does seem far to good to be true.
I cooked for her the other day, that went really well considering I've never cooked fresh before, usually only frozen stuff, she does want to push/encourage me to better myself, like learning to drive and getting a better job, as she says she dreams about us having a family together one day and I'd need to be able to support that & I want to be able to do these things and not let her down, she says I wouldn't need to worry about mortgage or rent, as she can get a place outright in the future, I just need to worry about proving for her and the kids.
She thinks we are good together as she will encourage me to better myself and around me she can relax, be herself and is genuinely happy.
I'll probably delete this post later as I imagine my gaf brothers will rip the shit out of me

But I really need to get my ass in gear and learn to drive, but due to everything going on, I'm broke and trying to sort a place out to live, I have a viewing tomorrow, but I am thinking if learn to drive the career opportunities it will open up for me will be great and I can really achieve great things

Lastly she said she only made friends with me originally as I was in a relationship and I wouldn't be creepy towards her, and then when I became single and because I never once made a move, but she thought it was obvious I liked her, she had to make a move as she realised I never would due to me being oblivious

I apologise in advance if this worded insanely poorly, & lastly only banjo-chan, can see the girl who has taken me away from him

Edit: dear diary that ended up being an essay/ramble!
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