Earlier today, Mr. Matlock mentioned how he'd been planning a revenge scheme to spring on some woman that had done some iniquity against him. His plan, of course, was woefully inadequate. We spent time tweaking it a bit, to no conclusion. I promised that I would come up with a plan while at work. And I did. After 10 hours of loafing and writing in my notebooks, I feel as though my brain has been fingered by the hand of god. The original plan he had come up with was so quaint that I actually managed to sandwich it into my mega-revenge scheme. It's a bit of sand in a desert. . .OF REVENGE.
I started my independent planning with a simple building block: Starting a filthy rumor about the victim, or starting a rumor concerning her boyfriend created with the intention of reaching her ears. Sample rumors, directly from my notebook:
1) She is pregnant
2) He is gay
3) She's secretly had an abortion
4) The relationship is rife with unfaithfulness
5) She has some horrible eating disorder
Now, in the interest of completeness, I figured I should give an example of how to start a rumor. It's easy. When the target is brought up in conversation, react like so:
Rube: "So how about that <victim> chick?"
Revenger: "You mean that chick that had an abortion because she didn't want to look fat?"
Rube: "She WHAT?"
Revenger: "That is just what I heard, man."
Once the rumor has begun circulation, it is integral to find what I've dubbed the 'Janus' friend. Every clique has one: the person that's growing tired and weary of the rest of the group. Maybe he's just sick of his friends. Maybe he's angry. Maybe he's depressed, and thus easy to disuade from past successes. Whatever his story, this Janus friend must be recruited, in some way. Having a person that you could control on the 'inside' is of the utmost importance. They could get you door keycodes, information on victim whereabouts, and more.
After the rumor has sufficiently run its course, start another one. Just pick another one from the list or combine a few. Once this rumor starts circulating, the victim will know for sure that something is up. Make sure you circulate these rumors far and wide, in such a manner that can't be directly traced back to you. Feel free to use your Janus agent as a vector for the mistruth.
Several days later, start hanging bizarre, themed artwork in the hallway across from her door, just in range of her peephole. Eye level. When she removes it, rehang it. Maybe add subtle alterations. Color it sometimes. Draw it in different styles. I suggest a mank, with his foot on a slain victim, holding his victims tongue aloft in the air. The tongue is on fire. Smiles adorn all the faces. For the original pieces, I suggest a woodcut style similar to that popular in the middle ages.
Next, befriend the victim. This will put you beyond the realm of suspicion. You will not have mentioned your issue with her for several days. This gives you a superior, and ultimate 'in.' Now, you must turn up the bizarre-o-meter.
Tell her about how weekends have been difficult to you. You've had a crush on your second grade teacher ever since you could remember. You believe it stems from her publicly humiliating you in front of your class, and you haven't been able to get it out of your head.
Next day, start another rumor. Make friends with her boyfriend. It would be better for the plan if he did not know you were talking with his GF.
The day after, step up the artwork campaign. Nothing major, just add her initials in quotes or something.
After the weekend, on a Monday, have a conversation with her. Tell her you've tracked down that second grade teacher. Say you fear you may end up visiting her.
Let things chill for a week. . .keep up your friendships, maintain your allies. Don't advance further.
Obtain some 2CI, a quasi-legal psychoactive drug. One of it's key uses is allowing users to have intense, revelatory experiences. . .religious experiences. If you want to obtain it, ask me how. I think posting a link would get me banned.
Next, you drug both of them in sepeerate conditions. The girl, you drug via food, drink, or whatever. The average dose is less than 1/4th the size of a single square on graph paper. You could find a way to get that in her. After ingestion, you have 45 minutes to 2 hours to get her to return to her room before effects commence. Beforehand, you place either the Book of Mormon, Dianetics, or BOTH in her room. With luck, the ensuing relisious experience will fuck her up in permanent ways.
The boyfriends drugging: I'd suggest being out walking with him. You'll know when it's taking effect. At that point, cue one of your cohorts to come up to him. You disappear at this point -- he'll never notice at this point. Your cohort, acting as some sort of deranged drifter, tells him some bizarre story about Jesus and UFOs. I drew up a brief plot analysis:
'Drifter says UFOs were accosting him from all sides. Their lights were so numerous that he couldn't even see all of them. They were so numerous that they were shorting out his brain and he couldn't keep track of where the UFOs were. At that point, he remembered, spontaneously, some non-sequitor passage from the bible. At this point, he immediately saw JESUS, and he was pointing the way through the lights to a clearing and safety'
Now, you fly to Philadelphia and visit the Mutter Museum for research. You must construct an animatronic fetus. . . with a twist.
Have the victim recieve anonymously a crate of Otter Pops. She will be confused, but delighted at their sugar watery goodness. A few hours after recieving the package, preferably at night, have your Janus agent contact her and invite her over for some reason or another. Hopefully, the dorm of her boyfriend is on the way to the Janus's place. If it's not, you're going to have to use some other scheme to direct her in the general direction of the BF's place. Note at this point you need to have access to the BF's room, either via seduction, Janus, or other means. Use some convenient mistruth to get rid of the boyfriend during the time of the scheme.
In the window of the boyfriend's room, you have the animatronic fetus. With an otter's head on it, dancing twistedly (but smoothly) in a swarm of psychadelic lights.
At this point, my notes drift off, nearly incomprehensible. Apparently you have to ambush her with beer caps on your eyes at one point, and you manage to make her boyfriend gay somehow. Hmmm, there seems to be a lapse in logic here. I'm sure that at least something is useable here.
I started my independent planning with a simple building block: Starting a filthy rumor about the victim, or starting a rumor concerning her boyfriend created with the intention of reaching her ears. Sample rumors, directly from my notebook:
1) She is pregnant
2) He is gay
3) She's secretly had an abortion
4) The relationship is rife with unfaithfulness
5) She has some horrible eating disorder
Now, in the interest of completeness, I figured I should give an example of how to start a rumor. It's easy. When the target is brought up in conversation, react like so:
Rube: "So how about that <victim> chick?"
Revenger: "You mean that chick that had an abortion because she didn't want to look fat?"
Rube: "She WHAT?"
Revenger: "That is just what I heard, man."
Once the rumor has begun circulation, it is integral to find what I've dubbed the 'Janus' friend. Every clique has one: the person that's growing tired and weary of the rest of the group. Maybe he's just sick of his friends. Maybe he's angry. Maybe he's depressed, and thus easy to disuade from past successes. Whatever his story, this Janus friend must be recruited, in some way. Having a person that you could control on the 'inside' is of the utmost importance. They could get you door keycodes, information on victim whereabouts, and more.
After the rumor has sufficiently run its course, start another one. Just pick another one from the list or combine a few. Once this rumor starts circulating, the victim will know for sure that something is up. Make sure you circulate these rumors far and wide, in such a manner that can't be directly traced back to you. Feel free to use your Janus agent as a vector for the mistruth.
Several days later, start hanging bizarre, themed artwork in the hallway across from her door, just in range of her peephole. Eye level. When she removes it, rehang it. Maybe add subtle alterations. Color it sometimes. Draw it in different styles. I suggest a mank, with his foot on a slain victim, holding his victims tongue aloft in the air. The tongue is on fire. Smiles adorn all the faces. For the original pieces, I suggest a woodcut style similar to that popular in the middle ages.
Next, befriend the victim. This will put you beyond the realm of suspicion. You will not have mentioned your issue with her for several days. This gives you a superior, and ultimate 'in.' Now, you must turn up the bizarre-o-meter.
Tell her about how weekends have been difficult to you. You've had a crush on your second grade teacher ever since you could remember. You believe it stems from her publicly humiliating you in front of your class, and you haven't been able to get it out of your head.
Next day, start another rumor. Make friends with her boyfriend. It would be better for the plan if he did not know you were talking with his GF.
The day after, step up the artwork campaign. Nothing major, just add her initials in quotes or something.
After the weekend, on a Monday, have a conversation with her. Tell her you've tracked down that second grade teacher. Say you fear you may end up visiting her.
Let things chill for a week. . .keep up your friendships, maintain your allies. Don't advance further.
Obtain some 2CI, a quasi-legal psychoactive drug. One of it's key uses is allowing users to have intense, revelatory experiences. . .religious experiences. If you want to obtain it, ask me how. I think posting a link would get me banned.
Next, you drug both of them in sepeerate conditions. The girl, you drug via food, drink, or whatever. The average dose is less than 1/4th the size of a single square on graph paper. You could find a way to get that in her. After ingestion, you have 45 minutes to 2 hours to get her to return to her room before effects commence. Beforehand, you place either the Book of Mormon, Dianetics, or BOTH in her room. With luck, the ensuing relisious experience will fuck her up in permanent ways.
The boyfriends drugging: I'd suggest being out walking with him. You'll know when it's taking effect. At that point, cue one of your cohorts to come up to him. You disappear at this point -- he'll never notice at this point. Your cohort, acting as some sort of deranged drifter, tells him some bizarre story about Jesus and UFOs. I drew up a brief plot analysis:
'Drifter says UFOs were accosting him from all sides. Their lights were so numerous that he couldn't even see all of them. They were so numerous that they were shorting out his brain and he couldn't keep track of where the UFOs were. At that point, he remembered, spontaneously, some non-sequitor passage from the bible. At this point, he immediately saw JESUS, and he was pointing the way through the lights to a clearing and safety'
Now, you fly to Philadelphia and visit the Mutter Museum for research. You must construct an animatronic fetus. . . with a twist.
Have the victim recieve anonymously a crate of Otter Pops. She will be confused, but delighted at their sugar watery goodness. A few hours after recieving the package, preferably at night, have your Janus agent contact her and invite her over for some reason or another. Hopefully, the dorm of her boyfriend is on the way to the Janus's place. If it's not, you're going to have to use some other scheme to direct her in the general direction of the BF's place. Note at this point you need to have access to the BF's room, either via seduction, Janus, or other means. Use some convenient mistruth to get rid of the boyfriend during the time of the scheme.
In the window of the boyfriend's room, you have the animatronic fetus. With an otter's head on it, dancing twistedly (but smoothly) in a swarm of psychadelic lights.
At this point, my notes drift off, nearly incomprehensible. Apparently you have to ambush her with beer caps on your eyes at one point, and you manage to make her boyfriend gay somehow. Hmmm, there seems to be a lapse in logic here. I'm sure that at least something is useable here.
