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[BuddyC]

For the past ten months, I have not once noticed any indication of spiders in or near my apartment. But yesterday, I think I unintentionally started something when I discovered one of their scouts inside my apartment and tried to kill him. My clumsy assassination attempt failed, probably because my methods involved trying to one-handedly stab him with the blunt end of a broom whilst talking on the phone, and he no doubt made his way back to his people to report my unprovoked aggression, likely taken as an act of war by their king. This would not only explain the single strand of webbing between the lights on the fan, but also the various strands of webbing on the porch noted during a recent hammock expedition - surely meant to communicate the message "We are everywhere and watching you."

I am now very, very afraid.

 

[tt_deeb]

They have you surrounded.

 

[Johnas]

Call Mike Works.

 

[B'z-chan]

Yeah wait till you get bite by a Brown Recluse. I just got a skin graph on friday cause of a horrible bite from one of those fuckers. After you get bite by one of those then you can be scared.

 

[enjoy bell woods]

Is that why you were feverishly searching for fantasy rape videos, B'z?

 

[pestul]

I've just decided to ignore the freakish spiders I have at my place and let them be. I'm sure they're doing a good service anyway. I just wish they're weren't the fastest and most aggressive spiders on the face of the planet (with a painful bite).. but the chances of being bitten is so miniscule.

 

[B'z-chan]

Is that why you were feverishly searching for fantasy rape videos, B'z?

huh? I dont know what you speak of.

 

[Date of Lies]

spiders do not live in colonies, they're loners, so it would be more like single scattered independent cells working at the same goal but not together...

 

[hXc_thugg]

spiders do not live in colonies, they're loners, so it would be more like single scattered independent cells working at the same goal but not together...

I guess you didn't read the last spider thread, starring the Chicken Spider!


WOO STAMINATOR

 

[The Take Out Bandit]

Don't worry. Most they'll do is nest in your home temporarily and then disperse once they're fully grown.

This happened to me one summer about ten years ago.

Every night when I lay down to go to sleep, I would suddenly be overcome with itches to scratch. I slept shirtless in the summer. This went on for several nights, and I thought nothing of it.

Then one night I woke up and turned on the lights, to discover it wasn't my nerves; but a colony of spiders on my ceiling rappelling down and landing on me in the middle of the night. They were so small that I didn't feel the bodies or anything when I scratched, or swatted.

So the next time you have an itch to scratch, turn on the lights and look up.

 

[miyuru]

This morning my cat brought a dragonfly into my room to wake me up :lol

I just watched him play with it (it couldn't fly anymore) and then eat it

 

[Goreomedy]

I never kill spiders in the home. I appreciate them every time I clean the house, and find a pile of insect bodies under a web hidden under a cabinet or behind the fridge. It's either let them live, or buy a can of raid for all the other intruders.

 

[Wellington]

Don't worry. Most they'll do is nest in your home temporarily and then disperse once they're fully grown.

This happened to me one summer about ten years ago.

Every night when I lay down to go to sleep, I would suddenly be overcome with itches to scratch. I slept shirtless in the summer. This went on for several nights, and I thought nothing of it.

Then one night I woke up and turned on the lights, to discover it wasn't my nerves; but a colony of spiders on my ceiling rappelling down and landing on me in the middle of the night. They were so small that I didn't feel the bodies or anything when I scratched, or swatted.

So the next time you have an itch to scratch, turn on the lights and look up.

:lol

That's so messed up hahaha.

 

[GhaleonEB]

I've seen this tactic before. What they will do is collectively build a net above your door. One day, when you least expect it, the whole pack will drop the net, pull you up and you will cease to be a juicy organism.

Be afraid. Be very afriad.

 

[BuddyC]

While at work today, I looked up to discover a spider right in front of my face. I've never seen a spider at work before and I've been there for eight months. Given recent events, I think it far too neat to be a coincidence. It's not like he was up in the corner or on the ceiling, no, he was up close and personal with me. Upon his slaughter, I exclaimed that I, being human, would reign supreme.

Both the radio at work and in the car has been acting up a lot lately, fading in and out without any real explanation. In my mind I can see their army, traversing the ways and interrupting my radio broadcast enjoyment. I sincerely believe they have infiltrated every aspect of my life, so secure in their victory that they are now just toying with me. Psychological warfare, those bastards.

 

[AniHawk]

"They're coming to get you, Buddy..."

 

[Amakusa]

Don't worry. Most they'll do is nest in your home temporarily and then disperse once they're fully grown.

This happened to me one summer about ten years ago.

Every night when I lay down to go to sleep, I would suddenly be overcome with itches to scratch. I slept shirtless in the summer. This went on for several nights, and I thought nothing of it.

Then one night I woke up and turned on the lights, to discover it wasn't my nerves; but a colony of spiders on my ceiling rappelling down and landing on me in the middle of the night. They were so small that I didn't feel the bodies or anything when I scratched, or swatted.

So the next time you have an itch to scratch, turn on the lights and look up.

:lol :lol I can't stop laughing at that one.

I'm a light sleeper so I know the different from an inch to somethings crawling on my bare and beautiful skin. With reflexes faster then a pouncing cat, I always just grab and throw as hard as I can. It's then followed by a loud smack against the wall stunning the poor insect. I've done this to 4 Cockroaches and 1 wolf spider in my lifetime. 1 of those 4 cockroachs was caught midflight eyes closed like a skilled Ninja catching a shuryuken...

 

[BuddyC]

Going into the battlefield on day 3, I was understandably a tad hesitant. Across the past few days, the spiders masterfully infiltrated every aspect of my life and now I'm just waiting for the hammer to drop. Where would they be today? At work? In the apartment? In the car?

The answer came when I went out to eat dinner on the porch. There he was, perched on the hammock, patiently awaiting my arrival. Much like the other scouts, he was eventually slaughtered, but not before his presence could remind me of my impending doom.

Despite this, I will not allow their attempts at intimidation to suceed. I live each day as I did before, I will not give them the joy of ruining the few days I have left.

 

[Tarazet]

I've just decided to ignore the freakish spiders I have at my place and let them be. I'm sure they're doing a good service anyway. I just wish they're weren't the fastest and most aggressive spiders on the face of the planet (with a painful bite).. but the chances of being bitten is so miniscule.

This is pretty much the attitude I have, and it got reinforced with something I saw a couple days ago. I have a little shed in the back which is within range of my wi-fi, so I sit out there with my laptop sometimes if the weather's nice enough. After getting set up, I noticed the window to my left not only had spider-webs all over it, but there were four spiders perched in opposite corners. It only took a few minutes for me to get to see one of them kill and eat a fly that had gotten trapped.

It was pretty sweet.

 

[Miguel]

sonarrat is working with the enemy Buddy...

 

[BuddyC]

sonarrat is working with the enemy Buddy...

Man, if they're hiding up in the corners and stuff, I have no qualms. But when they invade my personal space, well, that's a different story.

 

[Tarazet]

Man, if they're hiding up in the corners and stuff, I have no qualms. But when they invade my personal space, well, that's a different story.

Well, it WAS about two feet from where I was sitting. But I'm weird that way, I can be around bugs. I figure, if I don't make them want to bite me, I'm safe..

 

[Deku]

Radiate one of those spiders and make sure they bite you, maybe you'll become Spider-man.

 

[BuddyC]

Well, it WAS about two feet from where I was sitting. But I'm weird that way, I can be around bugs. I figure, if I don't make them want to bite me, I'm safe..

I'm talking inches from my face here.

 

[Tarazet]

I'm talking inches from my face here.

Well, yours have an agenda. As they should.

 

[Uno Ill Nino]

Dude, you should show up on your porch with like 4 cans of Raid and call them out. You could even have them holstered to your hips like pistols. Or shit, even fill up waterguns with the stuff. Tell them you won't be intimidated in your own home.

If that doesn't work, well then there's only one thing left to do. Learn their language, make peace with them, and mate with their women.

 

[RaymondCarver]

 

[Forgotten_Taco]

Huh?

 

[Zep]

man, i love spiders...to an extent. Last summer bees somehow found a crack in my basement and tried settin up shop. Well my nigga mr.spider caught at least 30 of them in his webby web, and put them to sleep.

He was later killed when he was stung by a queen bee.

 

[mrklaw]

The answer came when I went out to eat dinner on the porch. There he was, perched on the hammock, patiently awaiting my arrival. Much like the other scouts, he was eventually slaughtered, but not before his presence could remind me of my impending doom.

.

If he just sat there waiting to be killed, I'm pretty sure he must have had a radio on him to communicate back to HQ, otherwise his endeavour would have been for nothing.

You should get a radio scanner, just in case.

 

[tt_deeb]

I was attacked by two spiders last night in the bathroom. I thought about GAF. I couldn't identify either and I didn't have any shoes to throw at them so I just took my sister's towel and started swinging.

 

[Cauliflower of Love]

They're taking over. I went to weight myself, and there one was waiting in line to weight himself as well.


Anyone keepting track:

I'm now 6'1 29" arms, and coming in at 300 lbs. Big improvement in the last three weeks.

 

[mrklaw]

Then one night I woke up and turned on the lights, to discover it wasn't my nerves; but a colony of spiders on my ceiling rappelling down and landing on me in the middle of the night. They were so small that I didn't feel the bodies or anything when I scratched, or swatted.

So the next time you have an itch to scratch, turn on the lights and look up.