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The Wisdom of Al Bundy.
- Thread starter Ferrio
- Start date
- Status
Jill Sandwich
the turds of Optimus Prime
I thought Peggy Bundy was kinda hot.
Agent Icebeezy
Welcome beautful toddler, Madison Elizabeth, to the horde!
What season and episode. I've downloaded every single episode of this sitcom. I'll post tonight when I get home if you can find out for me.
Agent Icebeezy
Welcome beautful toddler, Madison Elizabeth, to the horde!
I just searched it, it's a done deal when I get home. I found out which ep it is
Excess Poo Flakes
Banned
Peggy Bundy was pretty good lookin, if you take away the hair.
scissorfight
Banned
Who's that riding in the sun?
Who's the man with the itchy gun?
Who's the man who kills for fun?
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad
He sleeps with a gun but he loves his son
Killed his wife 'cause she weighed a ton
He's Psycho Dad!
Who's the man with the itchy gun?
Who's the man who kills for fun?
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad
He sleeps with a gun but he loves his son
Killed his wife 'cause she weighed a ton
He's Psycho Dad!
[Playing a board game, Al has to tell what he cares about]
Al: I Care, by Al Bundy. When hooters jiggle around and I find nickels on the ground, I care. When a Mustang engine purrs and the bathroom is not hers, I care. When the pitcher's on the mound and the wife is underground, I care. But when I've been playing this for days, I will kill anyone who stays. I swear.
Fat Woman: I want my money back. These shoes are as useless to me as a comb is to you. I've only worn them once, and they split at the sides.
Al: Let me explain this. It's just like an elevator. There's a two-ton weight limit. What say I just nail the soles to your feet? It'll give you more traction when you're pulling the ice wagon.
Fat Woman: You'll be hearing from my attorney!
Al: Is that the law offices of Haagen and Daaz?
Al: A fat woman came into the shoe store today and asked for something to wear for a walk in the woods. Jokingly I suggested a sandwich sign saying "don't shoot, from the front I look human." Now you think a good natured, jolly lady like that could take some good humored teasing, but what does she do? That cow goes and complains to the owner who then gives her a gift certificate for $200 worth of free shoes. Now you know whose paycheck that's going to come out of?
Peggy: Kelly's?
Al: Damn right, if only if I can find where she hides her purse.
:lol
Al: I Care, by Al Bundy. When hooters jiggle around and I find nickels on the ground, I care. When a Mustang engine purrs and the bathroom is not hers, I care. When the pitcher's on the mound and the wife is underground, I care. But when I've been playing this for days, I will kill anyone who stays. I swear.
Fat Woman: I want my money back. These shoes are as useless to me as a comb is to you. I've only worn them once, and they split at the sides.
Al: Let me explain this. It's just like an elevator. There's a two-ton weight limit. What say I just nail the soles to your feet? It'll give you more traction when you're pulling the ice wagon.
Fat Woman: You'll be hearing from my attorney!
Al: Is that the law offices of Haagen and Daaz?
Al: A fat woman came into the shoe store today and asked for something to wear for a walk in the woods. Jokingly I suggested a sandwich sign saying "don't shoot, from the front I look human." Now you think a good natured, jolly lady like that could take some good humored teasing, but what does she do? That cow goes and complains to the owner who then gives her a gift certificate for $200 worth of free shoes. Now you know whose paycheck that's going to come out of?
Peggy: Kelly's?
Al: Damn right, if only if I can find where she hides her purse.
:lol
NintendosBooger
Member
Which was the episode when Bud and Kelly sneaked into the shoe store to spy on their dad, and Al was sitting on the stool miserably, with his head in his hands, for like 8 straight hours?
themadcowtipper
Smells faintly of rancid stilton.
When Sam Kinsion was on it ruled , he was his guardian angel or something...
ManDudeChild
Member
What's sad is the only character other than Peg Bundy that Katey Segal did well was Turanga Leela, an animated character.
themadcowtipper
Smells faintly of rancid stilton.
ManDudeChild said:
um she was on 8 simple rules the show John Ritter was on, i think this is the last season...Her character on there is really great, they just had Ed O'Neil guest star last week....
http://imdb.com/title/tt0312081/
"All right, number one - if it wasn't for beer, there would be at least three people, who probably wouldn't be married - Me, Jefferson, and probably Lisa Marie Presley. Number two - since men buy beer, advertisers have to cater to what we want. And hold on to your corncob pipe - we like pretty women. Pretty women sell beer, ugly women sell tennis rackets. Pretty women - cars; ugly women - minivans. Pretty women make us buy beer, and ugly women make us *drink beer*. "
Wax Free Vanilla
Member
Al Bundy rocks! I wish the Paramount channel would do a weekend run of the show, so I could burn every episode to DVD. 
Agent Icebeezy
Welcome beautful toddler, Madison Elizabeth, to the horde!
Ferrio said:
As promised, video and sound
http://s35.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3BT7D7LS6WQ6S31KX9T4NUWXZ6
Twas the night before christmas, and all through the house,
no food was a stirring, not even a mouse.
Stockings were hung 'round dad's neck like a tie,
along with a note that said "presents or die".
Children were plotting all night in their beds,
while the wife's constant whining was splitting his head.
But daddy had money this year in the bank,
then they closed up early, now dad's in the tank.
...and all of a sudden Santa appeared,
a sneer on his face, booze in his beard.
Santa I said as he laughed merrily,
you do so much for others do something for me.
Bundy he said, you only sell shoes,
your son is a sneak-thief, your daughters' a flooze.
Ho Ho Santa said, should I mention your wife,
her hairs like an a-bomb, her nails like a knife.
As he climbs up the chimney, that fat piece of dung,
he mooned me two times, he stuck out his tongue.
And I heard him exclaim, as he broke wind with glee:
you're married with children, you'll never be free.
no food was a stirring, not even a mouse.
Stockings were hung 'round dad's neck like a tie,
along with a note that said "presents or die".
Children were plotting all night in their beds,
while the wife's constant whining was splitting his head.
But daddy had money this year in the bank,
then they closed up early, now dad's in the tank.
...and all of a sudden Santa appeared,
a sneer on his face, booze in his beard.
Santa I said as he laughed merrily,
you do so much for others do something for me.
Bundy he said, you only sell shoes,
your son is a sneak-thief, your daughters' a flooze.
Ho Ho Santa said, should I mention your wife,
her hairs like an a-bomb, her nails like a knife.
As he climbs up the chimney, that fat piece of dung,
he mooned me two times, he stuck out his tongue.
And I heard him exclaim, as he broke wind with glee:
you're married with children, you'll never be free.
Flizzzipper
Member
Kelly: Your Honor, I'm here to defend my daddy. D is for daddy. A... is for daddy. D is for daddy, Y is for daddy, I is for daddy, WE is for daddy. The defense breasts!
Al: Uh, Your Honor, if there is a valid lawsuit here, it should be Bundy vs. the Board of Education, because she actually graduated high school!
Al: Now wait a second Peg, the kids are here. If you want to have sex, they'll have to leave. And if you want it to be good, you'll have to leave.
Al: Uh, Your Honor, if there is a valid lawsuit here, it should be Bundy vs. the Board of Education, because she actually graduated high school!
Al: Now wait a second Peg, the kids are here. If you want to have sex, they'll have to leave. And if you want it to be good, you'll have to leave.
Red Scarlet
Member
I loved this show growing up. Any idea why Steve left? When he came back vs Jefferson it was weird.
The London 2-parter was probably my favorite, but it's been awhile; how did the show end?
The London 2-parter was probably my favorite, but it's been awhile; how did the show end?
FOX, in what would become one of their signature moves, simply cancelled the show. There was no significant series finale.Red Scarlet said:
They did have a special a few years later celebrating the show that reunited the cast. Just them sitting around talking about their memories of the show.
For some reason the episode that I can't stop laughing at is the one where the men are trying to install the satellite dish on the roof and they keep falling off.
Red Scarlet
Member
Coop said:
Oh, ok.
I felt so bad when the Dodge got 1,000,000 miles, then he fell asleep and it went over.
The computer episode too. "No one's stupid enough to destroy a $2000 co.." *smash*
The grocery store contest was hilarious too, as already said.
Straightballin
Member
How many touchdowns?
Agent Icebeezy
Welcome beautful toddler, Madison Elizabeth, to the horde!
I'd post some eps, but I'm sure it's against the TOS 
Red Scarlet
Member
Agent Icebeezy said:
Lol, that's the episode where he never returned a library book he checked out as a kid, no?
I loved the episode of kelly getting into the pool tournament at the bar, where al had to give blood to make money for her to enter, then decided to replace his blood with beer. When told that was a bad idea by kelly, he replied "Aw, no its not, the brain doesn't need blood, just something liquid, to keep it wet." Alas he replaced 8 pints of blood with beer, hahaha. hilarious.
Attack You
Member
Coop said:
Steve was written out in style:
TV NEWS ANCHOR
And to close, we have a story about a true moron. Tonight, an unemployed househusband and self-described man of nature, thinking that the last Caribbean Pigmy Turtle born in
captivity was unhappy, broke into the Zoo Aquarium, stole the turtle and released it.
(A PICTURE OF STEVE'S MUG SHOT APPEARS ON THE SCREEN)
TV NEWS ANCHOR
Apparently, this "man of nature" didn't know it was a salt-water turtle. Witnesses report
Bosco tried valiantly to crawl back out of the water only to be thrown back in by this
deranged, unemployed man, standing on the bank singing, "Born Free". Bosco will be missed.
(A PICTURE OF A TURTLE APPEARS ON THE SCREEN. SUPERED OVER THE PICTURE ARE THE WORDS: BOSCO - 1901 - 1989)
Bail has been set at twenty-five thousand dollars. Not nearly enough in this reporter's opinion.
Red Scarlet
Member
:lol
I remember that, but not as his last regular appearance.
I remember that, but not as his last regular appearance.
milkyjay20
Member
Attack You said:
:lol
I remember when Steve got out of jail, and wasn't he after Jefferson or something? And wasn't Jefferson revealed to also be psycho in a different episode? I can't remember the specifics of those episodes.
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