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[IDKFA]

Somebody at my old employer tried this thought experiment and asked a few people. Some of the answers were sad. Some were funny, but some were dark as fuck. I actually cut ties with one guy because his answer was so dark and twisted.

Naturally, I'm interested to see how the GAF mind answers.

Here is the situation.

You're at work, and a news report comes in confirming the world will end in 30 minutes. We won't get into details on how it'll end, but just say all life on earth is destroyed and there is no way to survive it.

However, to throw another spanner in the works, you're trapped at your place at work with your work colleagues and it's impossible to escape (again, let's not get bogged down with details). The final spanner is that after the news report, all TV, radio, internet and phone signals are disconnected.

If you work at home, we'll just pretend this is pre-covid and you're in your office or normal place of work. If you work outside and on the road, you'll get to spend you're last 30 minutes wherever you are.

 

[Alex Anderson]

Find cute girl and hold each other til it's over

 

[Paasei]

Challenge accepted: I'll kill them all myself within 30min.

 

[Ballthyrm]

Try to escape.
Rage against the dying of the light.

 

[Star-Lord]

Say everything I ever wanted to say to my boss but was too afraid to do so before.

The more important question is what did the one guy say that was too twisted?

 

[M1chl]

Fuck some hot coworker, only way

 

[Kev Kev]

 

[godhandiscen]

I work from home. I'd probably start playing my guitar.

 

[dr_octagon]

Set up a brainstorming meeting, make sure we don't let this event affect the company's performance and hit our Q4 target. Together, we can overcome this challenge

 

[Rentahamster]

I actually cut ties with one guy because his answer was so dark and twisted.

What was it

 

[Pejo]

Man, I like my job, but I couldn't pick a worse group of people to spend my last minutes with. It's not that I dislike them, but I have nothing to discuss with them, no affinity towards them other than just being coworkers. There's not even a hot girl where I work currently. I guess I'd just sit alone and look out the window assuming I could see what's blowing us up and hope that it's an amazing sight.

 

[Ionian]

Missed the 9/ll calls?

If you did, you're much better off. Some really harrowing ones.

As for me, would probably sit in my chair and just wonder why. 30 Minutes is not enough time for it to sink in when in shock. Some panic some just go into themselves. Probably the best way to die if you're in disblief, that it's real and get smacked with a comet.

 

[Ballthyrm]

Set up a brainstorming meeting, make sure we don't let this event affect the company's performance and hit our Q4 target. Together, we can overcome this challenge

Boss fires Jennifer and pay 1 free coffee to everyone to boost morale.

 

[IDKFA]

What was it

I don't want to go into detail, but it involved him and some girl in the office who was out of his league. Really made me worry about the safety of other people. He no longer lives here either. Moved back to Italy around a month after this.

 

[TheMan]

What was it

Yeah it's not fair to drop that teaser without details. I'm going to guess it involved sexual assault

 

[Blade2.0]

Well I work IT with a bunch of guys. So I'd probably just get on Amazon Luna (got it so I can cloud game while on a work workstation) or use my Xbox game pass cloud gaming for the next 30 minutes. Hopefully internet is still going. Otherwise I guess I'll just lock myself in the bathroom and jerk it to some really hardcore shit.(I got some saved).

 

[dr_octagon]

Boss fires Jennifer and pay 1 free coffee to everyone to boost morale.

Jennifer could learn a lot from you, there is no team in i.

 

[Big Baller]

Imma play GTA DE on Switch one last time

 

[StreetsofBeige]

Fuck some hot coworker, only way

LOL. I was gonna say the same thing.

I'd scan the room and hope there's a good looking taker.... Ok ladies, anyone want to have some fun?

Only problem is what if it's an ugly fat one putting up her hand. Not sure I could do it even though I'm going to be disintegrated in half an hour.

 

[dr_octagon]

 

[Kamina]

Call my wife & family

Edit: did not read well enough it seems.

I that case I’d probably join my favorite colleagues for whatever.

 

[Star-Lord]

I don't want to go into detail, but it involved him and some girl in the office who was out of his league. Really made me worry about the safety of other people. He no longer lives here either. Moved back to Italy around a month after this.

I’m assuming/hoping he left/got sacked because the cunt was reported?

 

[Wildebeest]

Sit behind the desk in the Gendo Ikari pose like it was my plan all along.

 

[hemo memo]

Stuck at work with no outside communication at the end of the world? You couldn’t pick a worse situation. The problem is it will be chaos because that’s the human nature. To be honest I might look for an empty room or space and think about my family.

 

[IDKFA]

I’m assuming/hoping he left/got sacked because the cunt was reported?

He got sacked, but for another reason. He was a real creepy cunt and he would spend time at work trying to write novels and sketch shows. Some women at work read some and they involved her and other people in the office. I have no idea what sort of content was in these writings, but it was enough for HR to justify him getting the boot on the spot.

. I guess I'd just sit alone and look out the window assuming I could see what's blowing us up and hope that it's an amazing sight.

Nope. When the 30 mins are up that's it. All life just dies instantly. There is no light show or grand explosions. It would be like getting knocked out.

 

[badblue]

I'd be pretty upset that my last 30 minutes of life would be in a place like this.

Then I'd go find the smoke pit.

 

[hemo memo]

Imma play GTA DE on Switch one last time

What a sad way to go.

 

[Cattlyst]

Open the office fridge and pick the best looking packed lunch and eat it in full view of everyone else. Oh, and the hot coworker thing.

 

[Wunray]

Pray.

 

[Kimahri]

Well, I work at a high school. I'd go be with the kids.

 

[Ass of Can Whooping]

Wank then nap

 

[BadBurger]

Killing spree

 

[MaestroMike]

Pray.

 

[Ikutachi]

 

[BigBooper]

Find a nice comfy seat and whistle 'til oblivion.

 

[Jeff Spicoli]

One last pizza please.

 

[SidViscous]

Finally tell everyone that yes, I was involved in the Sonic 2 soundtrack.

 

[chromhound]

LOL. I was gonna say the same thing.

I'd scan the room and hope there's a good looking taker.... Ok ladies, anyone want to have some fun?

Only problem is what if it's an ugly fat one putting up her hand. Not sure I could do it even though I'm going to be disintegrated in half an hour.

You gotta take one for the team bro....

Probably try to sleep with the hottest coworker too

 

[haxan7]

We fuckin

 

[DragoonKain]

Go up to the hottest girl in the office. Ask her if she wants to fuck. If yes, fuck for 29 minutes, then climb to the top floor and jump off at the 30th minute. If not, still jump off at the 30th minute, just jerk off instead… while looking at the hot girl and imagining me fucking her.

 

[dr_octagon]

Go through the offensive alphabet and call everyone out for their age, race, gender, intelligence and physical appearance.

 

[Rat Rage]

You're at work, and a news report comes in confirming the world will end in 30 minutes. We won't get into details on how it'll end, but just say all life on earth is destroyed and there is no way to survive it.

However, to throw another spanner in the works, you're trapped at your place at work with your work colleagues and it's impossible to escape

Well then...

 

[Cutty Flam]

Tie up the OP to a chair, tattoo a dick with throbbing veins to his forehead, maybe tattoo "Bill Cosby 4 Life" there as well just in case it all turned out to all be a hoax

 

[Pagusas]

Id spend the 30 minutes trying to find a way to survive, even if I knew it was 100% pointless. Id rather go down fighting till the end.

 

[jufonuk]

Go on a lunch break.
call my wife and kids and family.
Tell them I love them.

 

[West Texas CEO]

I'm trying to fuck everything moving.

Killing spree

I take it you work in IT?

 

[PuppetMaster]

I see some GAfer showing are thier true face in this thread.

See their morals; Their code. Its a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble They're only as good as the world allows them to be. When the chips are down. These civilized people. They'll eat each other.

 

[BadBurger]

I take it you work in IT?

Worse, healthcare IT.

Take IT as you know it. Now add the need for like seven annual training courses on topics such as HIPAA, safety, dealing with the press, and legal shit. Throw in a dash of having to learn a new technology or two every single year, then get certified on them on your own dime, while also juggling the vocations needed to actually perform five or six traditional IT roles at once. Oh and you need to also know how to program in several languages at a basic level because of course you do - it's healthcare IT. And always be on call.

Sure, you'll get paid about $35k/year more than the average commensurate IT job in your area, but say goodbye to sleep unless you take vacation days.

 

[Tschumi]

What was the dark and twisted answer?

----

I'd just call my sweetheart and try to tell her that she gave my life dimension and relevance

 

[Brian Fellows]

I'd find a dark corner and take a nap.