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[calder]

VERSUS

One's a stay at home d-man who shot right and founded a coffee shop juggernaut, the other is a straight-shooting admin from the left coast who tested Dawn of War. But who really brings the flavour?


famous teammates

Horton - Dave Keon, Frank Mahovlich, Terry Sawchuk
Lewinson - Darkshire, Evilore, Hitokage
EDGE: push

most frequently fan-requested service

Horton - large double double with a chocolate dip
Lewinson - large somethin' somethin' with a glaze of sexual chocolate
EDGE: push

cheap tactic to mask diminishing skills

Horton - hooking, holding
Lewinson - "Were you getting some weird stuttering when the puck was near either goaltender? It was happening constantly for me."
EDGE: Horton

AKA

Lewinson - bishoptl
Horton - Miles
EDGE: Lewinson

sign of potency despite agedness

Horton - named the Sabres' 1973 MVP at the age of 43
Lewinson - 3 locked threads in past 3 days
EDGE: Horton

moral failing

Lewinson - still owes one hundred people a boxed copy of Warhammer: Dawn of War
Horton - drank too much, marriage troubles
EDGE: Horton

typical quote

Horton - "What I get paid for are the practices, I would play the games for nothing."
Lewinson - "SHE ROLLS ON THE BED WHILE FONDLING HERSELF. What more can you ask for?"
EDGE: Lewinson

medical trauma

Lewinson - in 2003, almost broke his bladder with Country Time
Horton - In 1955, the Rangers' Bill Gadsby broke his jaw and leg with a bodycheck
EDGE: Horton

cyberpopularity

Horton - Results 1 - 10 of about 22,900 for "tim horton". (0.21 seconds)
Lewinson - Results 1 - 20 of about 356 for "tim lewinson". (0.22 seconds)
EDGE: Horton

gift to the world

Lewinson - the banstick
Horton - maple doughnut
EDGE: Lewinson

grudging praise from competitor

Horton - "Tim Horton was stronger than a damn bull." -- Gordie Howe
Lewinson - "MIKE WORKS REPORTING IN AS THE TAMPA BULLSHIT LIGHTNING DUE TO A BULLSHIT FUCKING OT GOAL VERSUS A BULLSHIT BLACK MAN WHO WILL PROBABLY LOSE ALL HIS GAMES TO KONEX
MOTHER FUCKER" -- Mike Works
EDGE: Lewinson

It was close, but in the end the Hall of Famer ices the moderator in a wild 5 to 4 shootout.

Sweet, delicious victory!

 

[EviLore]

Ya spelled his name wrong.

 

[Boogie]

Clash of the Titans indeed.

 

[calder]

Ya spelled his name wrong.

DAMMIT.

 

[Dyne]

I thought Tim Horton didn't found the national chain. They just used his name.. and the family didn't and still don't get any royalties.

Anyways, good stuff.

 

[Guzim]

How does Bish not win?!

 

[bishoptl]

It's Lewinson, you JACKASS. Wait, Evilore beat me to it.

Anyways, I should win because I can kick Tim Horton's ass!*























*of course, he's dead but whatever

 

[Meier]

haha this had me laughing, misspelled name and all

 

[calder]

It's Lewinson, you JACKASS. Wait, Evilore beat me to it.

Anyways, I should win because I can kick Tim Horton's ass!

My team and I performed all the fact-checking on the memo containing the spelling of Tim Lewinson's name we could at the time, but while we take full responsibility for the error in no way should this reflect poorly on the news gathering of our organization as a whole.


And I dunno, Tim H. looks like he could kick some serious ass in that pic. You have to admit it looks like a good matchup based on the pics... I'd stick around the parking lot outside the bar if I thought that rumble was going down.

 

[explodet]

Tim Horton can give me a box of Timbits for 2 and a quarter.
Bish gave me this nifty tag.

They're even in my book.

 

[Ristamar]

And I dunno, Tim H. looks like he could kick some serious ass in that pic. You have to admit it looks like a good matchup based on the pics... I'd stick around the parking lot outside the bar if I thought that rumble was going down.

Would they fight outside a bar or on skates in a hockey rink? Who gets homefield advantage?

 

[SyNapSe]

:lol

Nice thread, Calder. Although, I wonder about all the time you must have...

 

[Mainline]

Time for a tim's run, mmm'mm maple!

 

[Guzim]

Wait how much prep time?

 

[calder]

Time for a tim's run, mmm'mm maple!

Hah, I'm at 1021 now, so I go to the Tim's next door like 3 times a day in a desperate fight to stay awake. It's just not the same without you guys there... but I'm loving the fact that it's not -50 degrees every goddamn day I walk across that parking lot.

 

[Mainline]

I suppose I should fire off an email saying I am available to work again, summers over, so is my other job, need work now I really like tim's hot choco, even in summer...so tasty. We need to have a world cup discussion.

 

[Pochacco]

3 WORDS: ICE CAP