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Turn off the internet. NOW.

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“I was a happily married man – two kids, a wife, a mistress and an almost unnatural interest in strippers. Then, I got hooked on the internet. Now, I have no time or energy for infidelity, as all of my time is taken up planning family vacations and helping my kids learn about history using the enormous resources of the web. It has certainly ruined my fun.”

- Marcel Crayon, Carcer City

“Before, when I would buy drugs, I would have no idea what to do with them, so they used to sit, untaken on my side board. After years of buying drugs, but being unable to take them due to ignorance, I had pounds of crack, heroin and reefer stashed in my house. Then, thanks to the internet, I learned how to take them, using a vacuum cleaner, a car battery and a small dog. I am literally out of my mind all of the time and my life has turned to sh*t. Thanks a lot, internet! I say, ‘turn it off!’ ”

- Jeremy Fagin, Los Santos, San Andreas

“Growing up in a strict religious house hold, I did not know what a penis or a vagina was. Then I got hooked on the internet. Now, I am ashamed to admit I have both.”

- Name withheld

Brilliant. :lol :lol :lol Too bad there aren't any more at that level...
 
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:lol
 
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