VIDEO COMPUTER SQUADRON

Status
Not open for further replies.
I was watching Megaman Network Transmission, and I decided I could make my own shounen anime, starring a little boy with an indomitable will to win and his loyal companion, Bit. I don't quite have all the names, but...well, take a look at what I already have, and tell me what you think.

VIDEO COMPUTER SQUADRON

It's about a little boy with an indomitable will who fights the villains...in head-to-head battles between their digital Atari 2600 pixel companions!

Here's some dialogue. I don't have names yet.

Perky female companion who encourages the protagonists to never give up: Never give up!

Geeky and overweight male friend: Press the attack button to have Bit attack!

Little boy with indomitable will to win: (frantic) Which button is that? (examines Atari joystick closely)

Geeky friend: The...only button. The orange one.

Boy with will: Oh. (presses button)

Perky girl: Go Bit! Never give up!

(zip-pan to Atari 2600 screen)

The screen is a black field. A blue square pixel is on the left side, and a slightly-larger orange pixel is on the left side.

Boy with will: (Offscreen) You can defeat Blipotron, Bit! Use that attack technique!

Geeky boy: (Offscreen) Which technique is that?

Boy with will: (Offscreen) The Attack!

Bit, the blue pixel, fires a smaller blue pixel at orange pixel. The shot slowly slides across the screen and collides with the immobile orange pixel, causing the latter to explode into a bunch of smaller orange pixels

(Shift camera back to face towards players, including previously-unseen gruff looking guy with spikey black hair)

All three friends: Yay!

Gruff looking guy: (Holding other Atari controller, looking defeated) Wow, you sure defeated me with your indomitable will and superior technique.

Boy with will: I sure did! Isn't that right, Bit?

(Shift back to screen)

Blue pixel flashes.

Bit: BEEP

So, what do you guys think?
 
I like it but the car chase seems a little tacked on. Needs more t&a.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom