There's this girl at work who's in a really bad situation. A few days ago, i'm in the cafe cleaning up, and she runs to the alcove at the back of the cafe, sits on the step ladder, and starts crying. She tells me that "can't please everyone" and that her ex had just recently left and tried. According to her, he cheated on her, then apologized about it, and then denied it. So she ended it with him. She considers him a friend despite the fact he's using her for her discount and probably trying to get back with her, and i told her that friends don't do shit like that and that she needed to do the same thing i had to do a few years ago, and cut people out of her life that cause problems.
Her situation at home is really bad. She lives with her stepdad and mother. Her car recently died on her, and her stepdad got her another one, but in his name. Despite the fact that combined her parents bring home $8000 a month, and that they bought her brother who's living at home with the girl he impregnated at 23 a car, all they can do for her is bitch that she isn't cleaning the house well enough, or tell her that she isn't worth shit and won't amount to anything.
After she told me about how things were at home, i immediately thought of what i could do for her. When it comes to women, especially those i'm close to in any sense, i have a bad case of "savior complex". i almost feel obligated to help despite the fact that, in cases like this, i'm not. i remember when i was a kid and went to a therapist, she said that i was getting sick because i felt i had to protect my mom, a single mother at the time, and that i took on all of her problems and stress. i'm not a therapist, but i think my "condition" originated from this. Throughout the rest of the day, i fought this with myself, realizing there wasn't much i could do at the moment to really help her, but feeling so strongly that i needed to do something that i'd say she could stay with me and my roommate. i even worked out some numbers in my head and realized we could get a place and split the rent, but i didn't mention it to her. It was literally like there were two mes who were arguing about how to handle the situation.
This is also the same girl i tried to hook up with, but i got the impression she wasn't interested or just didn't know what the fuck she wanted. She's got so much going on in her life, that for the both of us i didn't really try to pursue anything, and perhaps moreso, i quickly got tired of her games and just said fuck it.
i've calmed down quite a bit since then, but i'd really like to help her with whatever i can. i'm already researching some GED scoring guidelines, because she apparently failed the test because of poor scoring on one part, when she scored enough on the other parts to more than make up for it. At this point, i think the best thing i can do is provide moral support for her, along with whatever legal and common sense advice i can provide. Part of me is saying i shouldn't get involved in things, because the way things happen (especially around here) is that a girl with a fucked-up family life meets a guy who's stable, and they end up getting married. Either that, or the more likely scenario where she starts dancing, picks up a habit, and falls for some piece of shit who abuses her and eventually marries.
At this point, i've pretty much decided to give her some support as an outsider, but i'd like to get some different viewpoints on the situation.
Her situation at home is really bad. She lives with her stepdad and mother. Her car recently died on her, and her stepdad got her another one, but in his name. Despite the fact that combined her parents bring home $8000 a month, and that they bought her brother who's living at home with the girl he impregnated at 23 a car, all they can do for her is bitch that she isn't cleaning the house well enough, or tell her that she isn't worth shit and won't amount to anything.
After she told me about how things were at home, i immediately thought of what i could do for her. When it comes to women, especially those i'm close to in any sense, i have a bad case of "savior complex". i almost feel obligated to help despite the fact that, in cases like this, i'm not. i remember when i was a kid and went to a therapist, she said that i was getting sick because i felt i had to protect my mom, a single mother at the time, and that i took on all of her problems and stress. i'm not a therapist, but i think my "condition" originated from this. Throughout the rest of the day, i fought this with myself, realizing there wasn't much i could do at the moment to really help her, but feeling so strongly that i needed to do something that i'd say she could stay with me and my roommate. i even worked out some numbers in my head and realized we could get a place and split the rent, but i didn't mention it to her. It was literally like there were two mes who were arguing about how to handle the situation.
This is also the same girl i tried to hook up with, but i got the impression she wasn't interested or just didn't know what the fuck she wanted. She's got so much going on in her life, that for the both of us i didn't really try to pursue anything, and perhaps moreso, i quickly got tired of her games and just said fuck it.
i've calmed down quite a bit since then, but i'd really like to help her with whatever i can. i'm already researching some GED scoring guidelines, because she apparently failed the test because of poor scoring on one part, when she scored enough on the other parts to more than make up for it. At this point, i think the best thing i can do is provide moral support for her, along with whatever legal and common sense advice i can provide. Part of me is saying i shouldn't get involved in things, because the way things happen (especially around here) is that a girl with a fucked-up family life meets a guy who's stable, and they end up getting married. Either that, or the more likely scenario where she starts dancing, picks up a habit, and falls for some piece of shit who abuses her and eventually marries.
At this point, i've pretty much decided to give her some support as an outsider, but i'd like to get some different viewpoints on the situation.
That was the first thing that sprang to mind when I read your post. 
