AJUMP23
Parody of actual AJUMP23
Citing this report.
www.polygon.com
Personally I would pick Prince of Persia
You are Phil Spencer. Which Ubisoft IP do you buy?
I heard the Rabbids were going for cheap
www.polygon.com
Personally I would pick Prince of Persia
According to one very annoyed Ubisoft investor, citing a private report by investor service Mergermarket, Ubisoft has been holding secret talks with Microsoft, Electronic Arts, and other publishers who are interested in acquiring some of the troubled publisher’s franchises.
This is interesting in the context of Ubisoft’s current struggles; the floundering publisher hasn’t had a hit in a while, is losing the confidence of investors, and is “exploring strategic options” that include going private and breaking up the company. The latest reports suggest Ubisoft is looking to create a new entity that will hold on to some core intellectual property. Things are so bad that even a stellar launch for Assassin’s Creed Shadows won’t necessarily fix it all.
It’s also an interesting prompt for assessing the Ubisoft catalog. What properties does Ubisoft have that are worth buying, but that Ubisoft itself can do without? What can Ubisoft sell without throwing its soul into the bargain?
Assassin’s Creed: definitely not for sale. Not even to you. Image: Ubisoft Quebec/Ubisoft
So, I propose a little thought exercise. You are Phil Spencer, CEO of Microsoft Gaming. You have spent many billions acquiring publishers like Bethesda and Activision Blizzard, and studios like Obsidian and Double Fine, in a seeming attempt to own all of gaming (if not to actually sell Xbox consoles). But you are not quite satiated yet, and the spectacle of a floundering French publisher conducting a yard sale of storied franchises is too tempting to resist. Maybe just a little one? As a treat?
What will you choose? For the purposes of this exercise, we’ll assume that Assassin’s Creed is not for sale; it’s Ubisoft’s flagship, and without it the publisher might as well just close up shop. To a lesser extent, the same goes for Far Cry. And we’ll also assume that all the Tom Clancy games are off the table. It’s true that some parts of the Clancyverse seem ripe for the picking — for example, Splinter Cell, a fondly remembered stealth action series (with strong links to Xbox) that Ubisoft is currently doing nothing with. But it seems unlikely that the Clancy estate would be interested in breaking these properties up — and there’s no way Ubisoft is letting go of Rainbow Six, which is one of its most reliable cash cows.
So, what’s left in the shop window to tempt a browsing Microsoft exec?
Prince of Persia
Well now. This one is quite tempting, isn’t it? A largely dormant action-adventure franchise, recently revived by a quality Metroidvania, but with a major reboot wallowing in development hell. You never really had anything to match Uncharted with. This could be it, maybe… although corporate might not like the optics of an American giant swooping in to acquire the most famous Middle Eastern gaming icon. Especially in… the current climate.
Rayman
You never really had a platforming mascot to speak of, but this one is just so profoundly French it’s impossible to imagine it as a standard-bearer for the greenest, most American game console. Respectfully, it’s a hard pass.
The Rabbids
This is cute. But it presents licensing… issues. Image: Ubisoft Paris, Ubisoft Milan/Ubisoft
The same ought to apply to Ubisoft’s funny little rabbit guys, but if you squint, they look an awful lot like Minions. And Minions are huge with kids. Family franchises are a bit of a blind spot for Xbox. On the other hand, the only decent games the Rabbids have ever been in also starred Mario, and Furukawa-san over at Nintendo probably won’t be into it. (You need to call him, though, about putting every single one of your franchises on Switch 2 — it never hurts to ask!)
For Honor
This is a multiplayer game you’ve never heard of about medieval warriors beating each other up. But there’s a note on the sticker that Ubisoft reckons it has 35 million players? That can’t be right. Have your team pull the data on that one. Might be worth it, if it’s cheap. Who doesn’t like swords?
The Crew
You actually do have Forza Horizon at home. So it’s a pass.
Driver
Oh man, you remember loving the original one on PlayStation. And didn’t they do that wacky one that was all about a ghost policeman possessing cars? That was cool. You have enough driving games, but this one’s a little bit different, a bit funky. Ask if they’ll throw it in with something else.
Just Dance
Image: Ubisoft
[You have a Kinect trauma flashback and curl up in a ball on the floor.]
Might and Magic
You didn’t spend $7.5 billion acquiring The Elder Scrolls for nothing. Except, apparently you did, because the next one is never coming out, and Obsidian could probably churn out three Might and Magic games for you by next week. Still though… nah.
Watch Dogs
Somehow, despite buying half the game industry, you don’t really have any GTA-style open-world games, and to Ubi’s credit, Watch Dogs got quite good; you remember thinking the last one, Legion, was pretty fun. If they really won’t let you have Assassin’s Creed (note to self: up offer by $0.5-1 billion), you could see yourself owning this. But then… it’s not actually GTA or Assassin’s Creed, is it? It’s not even Far Cry.
Beyond Good and Evil
Perfect. Image: Ubisoft
Now you’re talking. A franchise that was maybe never actually popular, but that has ascended into fanboy myth status. A directionless vaporware project that’s been stuck in development hell for somewhere between 10 and 20 years. But you could save it, Phil. Think of the gamer cred! Think how cool your T-shirt reveal would be! It’s just so Xbox. It’s just so you. Where’s Satya’s company card?
