Who is the bigger asshole?

Who is the bigger asshole?

  • Mark

    Votes: 8 15.1%

  • Harry

    Votes: 45 84.9%
  • Total voters
    53
Shifty1897

Shifty1897

Member
GAF, listen to my story. I am the de-facto leader of a friend group that imploded yesterday after an altercation happened between two members. Let's call them Mark and Harry. They are married with kids. Mark and Harry get permission from the wives to go on a golf trip this past weekend with two other guys who are outside the friend group. We'll call them SideFriend #1 and #2, also married with kids. They got an Airbnb, the location is three hours away. Mark and Harry ride together, #1 and #2 live hours away in other directions and drive separately. They all arrive and everything seems fine. They golf all day Friday and all day Saturday, no issues. Saturday night comes and Harry and #1 want to go to the bars. Mark and #2 are sore and tired and want to rest at the Airbnb, so they drop Harry and #1 off and tell them to call when they want to be picked up. Here is where accounts of what happened differ:

HARRY'S ACCOUNT:
Harry and #1 stay at the bars until closing time and are now drunk. They meet a married couple at the bars and become friends. Harry invites them back to the Airbnb for more drinking. The married couple drives them back. Once they get to the Airbnb, Harry and #1 start drinking with the married couple in the living room. Eventually the married couple starts making out. One thing leads to another and the married couple start having sex, loudly, in the very room where #1 and Harry are sitting. Harry eventually feels awkward (he admits he stayed in there longer than he should have) and leaves to go to bed for the night. #1 stays and watches (lol).

MARK'S ACCOUNT:
Mark gets called at 1:15 AM to pick up Harry and #1 from the bars. #2 is already asleep. Mark drives out to the bar and calls Harry only to find out a random couple is driving them back to the Airbnb and they're almost back. Mark is annoyed but knows Harry is super drunk at this point and decides not to say anything. He drives back. When he gets there, there isn't just a married couple, but TWO women and a man in the living room drinking with Harry and #1. Mark goes to bed. At 3 AM he wakes up to the sound of "lots of sexual moaning". Mark is a Christian man who got married young and has been happily married for 20 years. He's the most morally rigid person in the group, we all know this and accept it. He becomes angry and knows he will be in trouble with his wife if she hears the boys-only golf trip turned into an orgy. He grabs his shit, says nothing, leaves out the side door and drives 3 hours home.


At 10 AM, Harry wakes up and notices Mark is gone. Mark's phone is off. Harry calls me freaking out. I look on find friends and see Mark drove back home already, leaving Harry stranded 3 hours away. I have a scheduled family photoshoot that day and cannot leave to go get him. One friend in the group offers to pick him up but Harry declines. Harry decides to rent a car and drive back, but has to call his wife to explain why Mark left him there and why he has to rent a car. Harry's wife is furious, but Harry maintains he "did nothing wrong". Harry has now left the friend group, and says he can no longer hang out with any of us because his wife is so mad and he needs to work on himself. Mark and Harry have both apologized to each other for their poor decisions but Harry says he is still angry and doesn't know if he can get over it.

This is all the information I have about the incident. Who is the bigger asshole? Harry for putting Mark in a situation that violates his known marital and moral boundaries or Mark by leaving Harry stranded 3 hours away with no notice in response?

Also whatever happened to the second woman that only exists in Mark's account? Did #1 bang her? We may never know.
 
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As you're the de facto leader of the group.
I'm going to say you're the biggest asshole.

You let this situation get out of hand and now look at the state of things.
Lives are ruined because of you.

But in all seriousness, you lost me at "Mark and Harry get permission from the wives "
 
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NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt said:
Neogaf slowly starting to turn into the subreddit Am I The Asshole? 👀
Click to expand...
Season 9 Lol GIF by The Office
 
I am definitely an asshole, but this isn't about me, it's about these two guys, who are obviously also both assholes, but who is the bigger asshole? The group is divided!
 
Harry is at fault... don't bring back sketchy people to the shared airbnb, you wanna do that shit you go to their place. The randos being there crossed the line, the fact they ended up having sex in front of people (wtf is this?) is the reason why you don't do this shit.

I'm 35 married and partied pretty hard in my day but this shit would infuriate me.

edit: at 20-25 this shit would have been hilarious and a story told for ages, getting progressively worse as time goes on, but alas I'm an old codger
 
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HRK69 said:
Thank fucking god I gave up friendships a while ago

Who the fuck wants to deal with this constant shite?
Click to expand...
Season 3 Friends GIF by Nanalan'


On topic, OP, your trips sound legit amazing. Can I come on the next one you mad bastard?

Mark needs to lighten up. You only live once, lol in all seriousness if strangers started bucking each other in our Airbnb I would be a bit freaked out as well. I'm no prude but holy shit 😂😂😂

Mark didn't need to pull the ejector seat. What happens in vegas stays in vegas? Nobody cheated on anyone or did anything really wrong but the sounds of it?
 
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Shifty1897 said:
get permission from the wives
Click to expand...
Shifty1897 said:
and says he can no longer hang out with any of us because his wife is so mad
Click to expand...
This is the origin of the problem.....

anyway, did you make a typo here or did harry hallucinate mark?:
Shifty1897 said:
Mark and #1 start drinking with the married couple in the living room
Click to expand...

All in all Harry was a dick if as you say everyone was aware of Mark's rigid morals, but you don't fucking abandon a friend like that, you have a conversation like adults and work it out; Mark is the bigger asshole.
 
Reizo Ryuu said:
This is the origin of the problem.....

anyway, did you make a typo here or did harry hallucinate mark?:


All in all Harry was a dick if as you say everyone was aware of Mark's rigid morals, but you don't fucking abandon a friend like that, you have a conversation like adults and work it out; Mark is the bigger asshole.
Click to expand...
Typo, fixed.

Also yes this is where I think I stand. If I was Mark I would have locked the door and went back to sleep, or thrown out everyone who shouldn't have been there, then chewed out Harry the whole way home, but I wouldn't have abandoned a friend, ever. That's the true biggest asshole move.
 
Harry is 100% the asshole here, if they are all married, adult men then that shit shouldn't be happening, even if Mark is religious or whatever, if you are grown ass men in your 30s or older (I'm assuming age) then this sort of behaviour is embarrassing.

And Mark is absolutely correct to feel that if word of this ever got back to the wives or anyone really it could blow up for all of them, and not only would golf-lads weekends be cancelled, but it could also ruin relationships with the Wives.

Also "bring a couple back to your bnb" is just hands down retarded anyway, add on top of that the orgy and you have a recipe for disaster, Harry should have kicked them to the street the second they did that shit. Again, if you are a genuine adult, when it's home time, the party is over.

The only way any of this would be fine is if these lads are in their early 20s and just being dumb youngsters.
 
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Do we think that Harry might have fucked the couple or the unaccounted for woman from #2's story? That would have.... implications
 
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El_Presidente said:
Do we think that Harry might have fucked the couple or the unaccounted for woman from #2's story? That would have.... implications
Click to expand...
I can't say for sure that he didn't fuck any of the women there. Harry definitely loves strippers more than anyone else in our group but in the 12 years I've known him I've never heard of or seen him cross over into what him and his wife would consider cheating.
 
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Let´s use the wisdom of Skynet:

Verdict on Harry: He was irresponsible, inconsiderate, and showed poor judgment. He knowingly created a situation that put others (especially Mark) in a moral and reputational bind. He wasn't just partying — he was being reckless in a shared space.

Verdict on Mark: His departure was dramatic and passive-aggressive. He has a right to be upset and want out, but it was irresponsible to vanish without a word, knowing Harry and #1 were hammered and now left to figure things out.

Final Judgment: Harry is the bigger asshole


But Mark is also an asshole, just not as big of one. Harry instigated the chaos, violated the trust and expectations of a shared trip, and created a situation that was bound to explode. Mark overreacted in response, but his reaction was to a genuinely unacceptable situation.

PS: Alcohol was an accomplice, but not the mastermind.
 
Did the Airbnb have security cameras or nanny cams? It might help us decide if we can see what happened instead of just second(third?) hand accounts. All in the interest of rendering judgment, of course. No one wants to see the orgy, yuck.
 
Harry. He instigated the scenario and becomes responsible for the actions of the guests by inviting them over, and for any fallout for the other guys. I also trust Mark's account over drunk Harry's.

Both a-holes. Mark shouldn't have left Harry stranded and should've stayed to talk it out with Harry, but if we're weighing transgressions, Mark's is lighter.
 
1. I would never rent a shared space with friends. Separate hotel rooms only.

2. Who the hell invites strangers back to home / hotel room / whatever? Sex or abduction are the only reasons.

Sell the story to Adam Sandler, sounds like a good B movie.
 
Harry sounds like the bigger asshole.
Don't invite random drunk strangers into the Aribnb you are sharing with other people, unless everyone is ok with it.

Mark also sounds like a bit of a bitch though.
 
El_Presidente said:
Harry is at fault... don't bring back sketchy people to the shared airbnb, you wanna do that shit you go to their place. The randos being there crossed the line, the fact they ended up having sex in front of people (wtf is this?) is the reason why you don't do this shit.

I'm 35 married and partied pretty hard in my day but this shit would infuriate me.

edit: at 20-25 this shit would have been hilarious and a story told for ages, getting progressively worse as time goes on, but alas I'm an old codger
Click to expand...
I can't wrap my head around thinking 35 is old.
 
As much as harry was inconsiderate. Some people like mark are just wetwipes borderline sad cunts.

Big fucking deal you heard sex in another room. Grown consensual adults. Let a close friend panic with no way to get home for a 3 hour drive .

You either just simply keep quiet to your wife since you weren't involved with the sex. Or be honest . Why shut yourself thinking your wife would be mad at you, you didn't do anything wrong.
 
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I wanna know more about #1's story. He either banged some strange or was the only one out of the group to politely and graciously accept an offer to watch a live fuck show.

Everyone else is a dick a #1 is a real G.
 
Inviting people back to a shared airbnb is a real ass thing to do, but things were also going to explode with mark one way or another. He had no reason to leave like he did since he wasn't involved. If he was and it led up to the point of people screwing, I'd completely understand
 
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