CrapSandwich
former Navy SEAL
Today, I was shocked to discover that some folks actually lift themselves from the seat of the toilet and go in around the back when they wipe. Maybe I'm just lazy, but going in through the legs seems like a no-brainer if you're a man. Easier, faster, more convenient. I like my poo business to be fast, neat, and clean. So, thanks to supplemental fiber and a lifetime of wiping experience, I believe I've boiled this business down to it's essentials. Fast, clean poo followed by a single sheet of a thicker toilet paper (or two sheets of a medium thickness paper) applied with a laser precision back to front wipe, followed by a push and twist application of a wet wipe, followed by one or two sheets of toilet paper for drying, also applied with a push and twist. A cautionary note--those wipes do not belong in the toilet even if they're labelled as "flushable." They don't degrade like toilet paper does, and if they don't fuck up your plumbing, they will fuck up your municipality's plumbing. Although I'm skeptical that there's any room for improvement, if someone has a better routine, I'd be genuinely interested in hearing about it.
