• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

Would someone's bisexuality make them undateable?

Status
Not open for further replies.
A

Alienfan

Member
This article popped up on my newfeed this morning: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/glamour-magazine-sexuality-survey_us_56bcad12e4b0b40245c57d6a

63 percent of those surveyed said they'd opt out of traditional labels like "homosexual," "heterosexual" and "bisexual," the same percentage also said they wouldn't date a man who has slept with another man
Click to expand...

While "Glamour" obviously not the most credible source, it does introduce an interesting discussion, and perhaps suggests a weird prejudice and double standard that society have. I'm curious to hear Gaf's thoughts on if someone's "bisexuality" would impact your decision to date them?
 
The fact that people think like this is what made it extremely hard to come to terms with and then eventually talk about my own bisexuality with another person.

Yes, I've had sexual relations with other men. No, this does not automatically mean I have HIV AIDs. However, stop demonising people who DO have HIV AIDs.

That's my contribution. I fear actually even talking about it IRL considering the recent bisexual AIDs topic going around social media now. I fear being treated like scum, since I've heard my bisexual peers have been treated as such.

*edit: Sorry if the AIDs stuff isn't 100% on topic about the undateable stuff. It's just been coming up a lot lately and been getting to me.
 
My girlfriend is bisexual (more appropriately, she's nonbinary) and we love each other a lot and are very happy together. She had a girlfriend prior to me as well.
 
I think it's not so much about the sex, it's more about the jealousy.

Many people think that because bisexuals are attracted to both sex, the likelihood of them being attracted to someone else, be it men or women, is therefore, higher.

The world is full of interesting people that unless you are absolutely confident in yourself, it's hard not to have that little voice that whispers "What if he/she is attracted to someone else? Maybe his gym buddy? He always seems affectionate to this friend of his than to me. What about her female friend? She seems to spend more time with her than with me lately" etc.

Does it make it right? No. But it's normal to have that jealousy amped when you know that your partner is interested in both genders.
 
Nobody I've dated has had an issue with it. But I know other people have had a big backlash.

Biphobia makes someone undateable. :)
 
Nah. Wouldn't bother me any. I doubt that anyone would post they do have a problem with it out of fear of being dog piled on though.
 
Yeah I'm pan myself and the label seems to make people think that you're more than likely a horn dog who will sleep with anyone when in reality I practice safe sex and am interested in a stable relationship just like anyone else. And just like anyone else I have my preferences so it's not like literally any man or woman is capable of sweeping me away just because I like both.

dity said:
The fact that people think like this is what made it extremely hard to come to terms with and then eventually talk about my own bisexuality with another person.

Yes, I've had sexual relations with other men. No, this does not automatically mean I have HIV AIDs. However, stop demonising people who DO have HIV AIDs.

That's my contribution. I fear actually even talking about it IRL considering the recent bisexual AIDs topic going around social media now. I fear being treated like scum, since I've heard my bisexual peers have been treated as such.

*edit: Sorry if the AIDs stuff isn't 100% on topic about the undateable stuff. It's just been coming up a lot lately and been getting to me.
Click to expand...

This is also a big reason I keep my pansexuality on the downlow.
 
dity said:
*edit: Sorry if the AIDs stuff isn't 100% on topic about the undateable stuff. It's just been coming up a lot lately and been getting to me.
Click to expand...

I'm actually unaware of the bisexual AIDS controversy, so I'm glad you brought it to the discussion. I guess I never really considered it, but this remaining fear could a huge roadblock in the way of bisexual acceptance. We the media to thank for its demonization, I just wish more people could keep an open mind. Thankfully we are highly adaptable as a species, and if the past 10 years have shown as anything, society's outlook will hopefully adjust. :) And if not, the medication will improve even more, easing this lingering worry.
 
My boyfriend is bi, and I honestly don't really think about it. It's just an inclination, so what's the big deal. Maybe I could be worried that I could never fulfil all of his desires, but then I also hope that he'd just tell me if so. I think it's quite beautiful to be bi, anyway. To be able to be attracted to and find love regardless of gender. That's sweet.

Surprisingly I've heard a lot of my former friends express their distaste in dating a "bisexual", but I think it's more the idea that sexuality isn't as solidified as they'd like to think that makes them uneasy.
 
I dated a bisexual woman for several months. We never quite were exclusive because she would get drunk and start making out with girls.

Sounds like it would be awesome but when you really like a girl, and she thought you would be okay with it and didn't bother asking because of posters like the first two in this thread... haha.
 
Alienfan said:
I'm actually unaware of the bisexual AIDS controversy, so I'm glad you brought it to the discussion. I guess I never really considered it, but this remaining fear could a huge roadblock in the way of bisexual acceptance. We the media to thank for its demonization, I just wish more people could keep an open mind. Thankfully we are highly adaptable as a species, and if the past 10 years have shown as anything, society's outlook will hopefully adjust. :) And if not, the medication will improve even more, easing this lingering worry.
Click to expand...
I honestly feel like if I wanted to talk to anyone about my sexuality, I'd need to come equipped with a medical certificate.
 
jeremy1456 said:
I dated a bisexual woman for several months. We never quite were exclusive because she would get drunk and start making out with girls.

Sounds like it would be awesome but when you really like a girl, and she thought you would be okay with it and didn't bother asking because of posters like the first two in this thread... haha.
Click to expand...
Wouldn't that temperament but all or at least predominantly straight just mean that behavior would go to kissing other guys instead?

I don't think I'd be particularly bothered if she were. Most likely anything that'd give me reason to be bothered is a relationship problem period.
 
Eusis said:
Wouldn't that temperament but all or at least predominantly straight just mean that behavior would go to kissing other guys instead?

I don't think I'd be particularly bothered if she were. Most likely anything that'd give me reason to be bothered is a relationship problem period.
Click to expand...

Oh if she was kissing other guys I would have just stopped dating her immediately.

We had to have a talk about it, and that prevented me from making her exclusive. It also kinda left me wondering when she was like "I'm going to go over to so-and-so's house for a few drinks" (a girl I saw her kiss).

Like I said, there's a double standard. Before this I thought it would be awesome to see a girl I was dating kiss another girl.

It wasn't a great situation and that's why we never were exclusive (and really she and I were just dating each other so it was close to being that) and why I decided we should just be friends.
 
A Link to the Past said:
There's definitely an unfortunate stigma attached to bisexuality.



If you expected anything better of NeoGAF, sure!
Click to expand...

Let's be real, there's a stigma attached to male bisexuality. There seems to be more of a philia attached to female bisexuality. Just look to the responses in this thread. I always wished I was bi so that I could have more options, but it looks like a lot of women (may?) be closed off to the idea.
 
Every woman I've been with has been extremely interested in detailed retellings of my exploits on the other side of the fence. Then again, I favor adventurous partners, so...
 
Captcha said:
Let's be real, there's a stigma attached to male bisexuality. There seems to be more of a philia attached to female bisexuality. Just look to the responses in this thread. I always wished I was bi so that I could have more options, but it looks like a lot of women (may?) be closed off to the idea.
Click to expand...
Stigma against bi women is definitely there, it's just different from stigma against bi men. For lesbian criticism there's 'just experimenting', 'invading lesbian spaces', 'sleeping with the enemy', 'bringing diseases in'. And reactions of how sexy it is are also often unwanted.
 
Unwillingness to date a bisexual is actually a thing on the homosexual side too. I've heard quite a few gays and lesbians who are weary to the idea of dating a bi/pan/more than just homosexual because they worry about them leaving them for the more conventional gender later for a more "normal" life, less stigma, a traditional way of having children and a family, etc.
 
A girl being bisexual by itself wouldn't bother me, but if they ever brought up having an open relationship and bringing another girl into it it'd be a complete deal-breaker immediately if it was early in the relationship and I'd give serious thought to ending it if it was a while into it. That's not for me and never will be. I don't want to share the person I care about with someone else and I don't want to be shared with another person. That's just not my thing.

And as someone brought up a girl getting drunk and kissing other girls in bars - that would probably end it for me right there. I won't innately distrust someone for their sexual preference, but if someone is with me and they cross lines that trust goes away pretty fast. My girlfriend is straight, but it's been brought up and she knows that I don't find the thought of her making out with another person of any gender to be cute, or fun, or sexy, or a turn on in any way and that it'd hurt me pretty badly. It's one thing to look, it's another to stick your tongue down someone else's throat.
 
Aselith said:
What if things got serious? Would you worry about her not being satisfied with just a man?
Click to expand...

Insecurity is insecurity. It would be no different than freaking out that she wanted a guy who was fitter, happier and more productive (or whatever your perceived weaknesses are)
 
SeanTSC said:
A girl being bisexual by itself wouldn't bother me, but if they ever brought up having an open relationship and bringing another girl into it it'd be a complete deal-breaker immediately if it was early in the relationship and I'd give serious thought to ending it if it was a while into it. That's not for me and never will be. I don't want to share the person I care about with someone else and I don't want to be shared with another person. That's just not my thing.

And as someone brought up a girl getting drunk and kissing other girls in bars - that would probably end it for me right there. I won't innately distrust someone for their sexual preference, but if someone is with me and they cross lines that trust goes away pretty fast. My girlfriend is straight, but it's been brought up and she knows that I don't find the thought of her making out with another person of any gender to be cute, or fun, or sexy, or a turn on in any way and that it'd hurt me pretty badly. It's one thing to look, it's another to stick your tongue down someone else's throat.
Click to expand...
Being bisexual doesn't automaically make you poly.
 
Barrylocke said:
Unwillingness to date a bisexual is actually a thing on the homosexual side too. I've heard quite a few gays and lesbians who are weary to the idea of dating a bi/pan/more than just homosexual because they worry about them leaving them for the more conventional gender later for a more "normal" life, less stigma, a traditional way of having children and a family, etc.
Click to expand...


You would think someone who identifies as bisexual would have access to the largest 'dating pool', but that really isn't the case. Too gay to be straight and too straight to be gay, often just leads to prejudice from both sides :/
 
Nope. Wouldn't feel less of a man if she constantly cheated on me with other women either. Aslong as she doesn't sleep with other men, and doesn't catch feelings for these chicks it's all good.
 
I would never date a bisexual guy. Not because he is been with women, but because there will always be things that I just can't give him. This could lead to big problems in the future. You have to give the person a chance to explore what they want or it will end terribly. I can't deal with that sadly.
 
As a bisexual woman, the responses I've gotten to who I've told have mixed between acceptance (fortunately, the most common in my group of friends) to wariness (from women that I was preying on their friendship to get with them, or from men that they shouldn't have anything to do with me in case I ditch then for a woman) to the creepy (people asking me to be the third in a threesome, one guy didn't ask he just tried to pull me in by my boobs, to people asking really inappropriate questions about my sex life, people thinking I was promiscuous, etc. )

I just ended up not outright telling people, because I didn't know how people would react. My current boyfriend is bisexual also, and, the biggest it comes up is basically "Mmmm, Chris Pratt. I would do things to him." "Me too, dear, me too".
 
I wouldn't mind if my female partner was bisexual, but I think I would have a problem if she was dating someone else other than me.

I've never been in a relationship or had to deal with that.
 
dity said:
Being bisexual doesn't automaically make you poly.
Click to expand...

I didn't say it did. But it's an extra factor, as seen by some posts here. It's something that I can't help considering. If it's never brought up in one then I wouldn't care or doubt her commitment at all, but if a girl did bring more open stuff up, straight girls included, I'm out pretty fast. Not for me. I make that known pretty early too.
 
GameAddict411 said:
I would never date a bisexual guy. Not because he is been with women, but because there will always be things that I just can't give him. This could lead to big problems in the future. You have to give the person a chance to explore what they want or it will end terribly. I can't deal with that sadly.
Click to expand...
My girlfriend does butt stuff with me.

SeanTSC said:
I didn't say it did. But it's an extra factor, as seen by some posts here. It's something that I can't help considering. If it's never brought up in one then I wouldn't care or doubt her commitment at all, but if a girl did bring more open stuff up, straight girls included, I'm out pretty fast. Not for me. I make that known pretty early too.
Click to expand...
But you act like being bisexual is somehow a leading-in factor for a poly relationship coming into play. Considering they'd be briging them into the relationship and seem to already have some sort of relationship with said person of the same sex it seems to imply that you think cheating before they actually brought it up with you. Otherwise why would merely the mention of an open relationship cause you to break it off immediately without talking about it?

You mention straight girls now, but would you bringg up this boundry with them around the same time as a bisexual girl? What's "pretty early", and have you ever actually set said boundary in a relationship?
 
If gf identifies as straight but enjoys munching titties unashamedly, I'm into it and I wouldn't mind her messing around even without me there because I don't feel threatened by it. Hard to answer about bisexual girls because all the ladies I've dated were straight, and the bi girls I've known have not been my type at all, personality-wise. No interest to begin with so its hard to say if them being bi would get in the way of feelings.

If I were a woman I probably wouldn't date a man who identifies as bisexual because men tend to know what they want, and a guy who identifies as bi is gonna want some dick from time to time.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Someone used A.I. to make an anime fan trailer for Maximum Carnage.
2
67
788
Knight of the Round replied
  • Locked
Would you sell your country for $10k?
10
262
YCoCg replied
Corporations unilaterally changing conditions and making them binding is pissing me off
14
651
Dr.Guru of Peru replied
  • Poll
Would you move to another place just to save $50?
33
444
Idleyes replied
  • Poll
If you found a Death Note, would you use it?
2
55
651
Lambogenie replied
Top Bottom