Support NeoGAF

[Odoul]

Just for perspective I'm a 19 y/o virgin. Until recently never even been on a date.

Last month met a girl(21) at scool. Started talking, went out a couple times. One day went to her place and found out she had TWO kids. She said her sister was late so I talked to em for a while(cute little bastards). So I find out her ex is still a part of her life. Anyway I recently cooled it off with her something about the situation just wasn't cool. Plus I've seen the bullshit that happens when people(my sister, cousins) get involved with people with kids/previous relationships.

Anybody else ever run away from a situation like this, or am I just being picky? All I want is a little ass now and then.

 

[beto]

If she has kids that means she fucks.

Hit it and never talk to her again.

 

[karasu]

god help us

 

[3phemeral]

I think that referring to women with kids as "bitches" would likely get you to remain a virgin.

 

[Dilbert]

Well, based on your post, I'm sure she's going to immediately fall for your warm, accepting nature. <SIGH>

If you're going to date someone with kids, it complicates the relationship quite a bit. For one, her kids ALWAYS come first, and you have to be OK with that. Second, the father will always be the "other man" in the relationship, and you will have to be OK with that too. They will always share a bond that you will not have, and it can trigger all kinds of jealousy if you're not careful. Third, you would have to figure out and respect boundaries between you and the kids. You don't want to end up in a position where you feel obligated to be "dad," but setting those limits can be tricky. Finally, you don't sound like you're considering HER needs in the slightest. If she's looking for something serious, then you'd be doing her a major disservice by considering her as a piece of "ass now and then."

My snap judgment is that you're nowhere near ready to date a woman with kids. PLEASE leave her alone...please.

 

[Dujour]

U.N.I.T.Y.

 

[xsarien]

My theory is this:
Grow out of whatever stage it is that makes you call women "bitches," then start dating.

 

[Baconäger]

Get out.

Now.

 

[Deleted member 1235]

I think that referring to women with kids as "bitches" would likely get you to remain a virgin.

:lol Beaten

if I had never had any, I don't think I would want the first one to have had 2 kids fired out of it... also, anyone that is 21 and has 2 babies clearly has poor decision making skills. bail out.

 

[BlackMage]

Milfs are strictly the window shop variety.

 

[Odoul]

Well, based on your post, I'm sure she's going to immediately fall for your warm, accepting nature. <SIGH>

If you're going to date someone with kids, it complicates the relationship quite a bit. For one, her kids ALWAYS come first, and you have to be OK with that. Second, the father will always be the "other man" in the relationship, and you will have to be OK with that too. They will always share a bond that you will not have, and it can trigger all kinds of jealousy if you're not careful. Third, you would have to figure out and respect boundaries between you and the kids. You don't want to end up in a position where you feel obligated to be "dad," but setting those limits can be tricky. Finally, you don't sound like you're considering HER needs in the slightest. If she's looking for something serious, then you'd be doing her a major disservice by considering her as a piece of "ass now and then."

My snap judgment is that you're nowhere near ready to date a woman with kids. PLEASE leave her alone...please.

Hey you're probably right. I don't WANT to be in a serious relationship, or deal with any heavy shit right now. Like I said I've seen the bullshit my sister has to go through with her asshole of a boyfriend when he pulls up the whole his family comes first.

And on the asshole part. I'm probably the nicest guy you could ever meet. I can be a very supportive friend male or female. I just think it's really shitty that when I was honest about what I wanted she waited weeks to drop that bombshell.

PS. Like I said the kids are nice. They're one of the reasons I'm staying away. Not trying to bring someone that really doesn't want to be bothered with them into their life.

 

[BlackMage]

:lol Beaten

if I had never had any, I don't think I would want the first one to have had 2 kids fired out of it... also, anyone that is 21 and has 2 babies clearly has poor decision making skills. bail out.

hey asshole, my mom was 21 when I was born and 20 when my sister was born. She's a college graduate too.

 

[Cubsfan23]

If you do, don't get emotionally attached, especially if you don't want to be a father figure. I learned this the hard way.

 

[Deleted member 1235]

hey asshole, my mom was 21 when I was born and 20 when my sister was born. She's a college graduate too.

Hey asshole, your mom sounds like a college graduate who makes poor decisions. deal with it. My sister has two kids at that age, she missed heaps of oppurtunites. 20 is to young.

 

[BlackMage]

Hey asshole, your mom sounds like a college graduate who makes poor decisions. deal with it. My sister has two kids at that age, she missed heaps of oppurtunites. 20 is to young.

your sister does not = my mom

 

[shuri]

Refering to women as bitches because she has two kids is lame.

 

[Deleted member 1235]

your sister does not = my mom

and guess which one I wasn't talking about when I made my initial statement based on first hand experience.

So she pulled it off, well done for her, seriously. Is she advising your sister to follow in her footsteps?

 

[Teflar]

I like how he calls the kids "cute little bastards" without a hint of irony.

If a chick has kids and all you want is ass, its probably a good idea to break it off. There's plenty of ass out there without kids. At least he's honest with himself. And as for calling chicks bitches? Its not my style (I obviously prefer the term 'chick', heh) but in this context its not that bad. He obviously meant "person of the female persision" and we understood it. A rose by any other name...

 

[Tabris]

Referring to a single mother of 2 as a "bitch"...seriousely, what the fuck is wrong with you?

 

[Odoul]

Refering to women as bitches because she has two kids is lame.

Jesus. My bad. It wasn't supposed to be insulting. It's just a word to me. I use it in my circles all the time friend, family or stranger, man or woman.

 

[3phemeral]

I like how he calls the kids "cute little bastards" without a hint of irony.

If a chick has kids and all you want is ass, its probably a good idea to break it off. There's plenty of ass out there without kids. At least he's honest with himself. And as for calling chicks bitches? Its not my style (I obviously prefer the term 'chick', heh) but in this context its not that bad. He obviously meant "person of the female persision" and we understood it. A rose by any other name...

I think I would have given him more credit had he used a derogatory term for men as well... actually, no I wouldn't have

 

[WasabiKing]

Do her kids call you daddy?

 

[firex]

of course I'd get involved with a woman with kids. that way when I steal all of her money, I can also sell the kids as slaves to work in a third world sweatshop.

 

[AlphaSnake]

hey asshole, my mom was 21 when I was born and 20 when my sister was born. She's a college graduate too.

Umm...times were much different back then. That was the average year for a woman to start giving birth. Hell, a majority of women in the 70s and 60s were getting married before their 21st birthday.

In today's day and age it's not common practice for a 21 year old to have 2 kids.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

to answer the question...






























heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell no.

 

[Phoenix]

Since she's a 'bitch' - no.

 

[karasu]

Hey asshole, your mom sounds like a college graduate who makes poor decisions. deal with it. My sister has two kids at that age, she missed heaps of oppurtunites. 20 is to young.

poor decisions like what? Having sex? Or actually dealing with the results of her actions? My mom had me at 17. It happens.

 

[Phoenix]

poor decisions like what? Having sex? Or actually dealing with the results of her actions? My mom had me at 17. It happens.

Bless her heart for both keeping you and raising you and shame on anyone who would crap on that.

 

[Crow357]

Get out.

Now.

Yep. Put it down, back away and look for something a hellofalot less complicated.

 

[Saturnman]

If you already call her a bitch, the relationship has long-term potential right there. :lol

 

[demon]

I think it's a win-win situation. You get to date a bitch, learn parenting skills, and have potential to make a few bucks on the side whenever the bitch needs a babysitter! Where can you go wrong?

Pursue this bitch, bitch.

 

[Fresh Prince]

Pursue this bitch, bitch.

Oh the irony!

 

[ChrisReid]

poor decisions like what? Having sex? Or actually dealing with the results of her actions? My mom had me at 17. It happens.

How about poor decisions for getting into that situation in the first place? Nobody's saying anything bad about the process by which people overcome a bad situation, but it's very clearly not a position any sane person wants to be in. And as was previously mentioned, even 20 years ago things were different. Each decade we pass from the 50s/60s makes it that much harder for people who have kids younger to have a better life. The way things are right now, if you're taking care of kids at <20 years old, you're screwing up opportunities and missing out on other things you should be doing.