Kumiko Nikaido
Vindication...sweet.
I caught an advance screening of XXX: State of the Union last night since I scored a free pass. Going in to it I was already convinced that it would majorly suck from seeing all the generic-looking previews and such. And with Vin Diesel being out and with Ice Cube being in, it had the markings of being pure craptitude. But, as it turns out, by the end of the film I can say I was.....entertained.
This sequel is pretty much a textbook example of Hollywood doing it's thing with BIG GUNS, BIG VEHICLES, BIG EXPLOSIONS, and BIG ATTITUDE all wrapped up into one BIG PREPOSTEROUS and LUDICROUS PLOT. There is no subtelty, no emotional drama, no first-class acting, nor anything that would put it in the hallmark hall-of-fame of sequels (but you knew that, I just wanted to reassure all of you...
). XXX: State of the Union is a loud, dumb, and mindless action vehicle that pretty much even commercializes and popularizes the fascination of "pimpin' one's ride" to the Nth degree (more on that in a bit).Story:
An NSA "faction" is bent on bringing a new revolution on the soils of America, and a new XXX is needed who's even more more bigger and badder than before. Xander Cage is dead, and Darius Stone (Ice Cube) is in, recruited by Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson). Turns out Stone did 9 years hard time for taking the fall of a prior mission gone awry, and Stone has it in for Gibbons since he was in Gibbons' former ex-military unit. Gibbons, along with Lt. Kyle Steele (Scott Speedman) of the NSA investigate. General Deckert (Willem Dafoe), now the Secretary of Defense, who was in charge of that mission, has intentions of his own to bring a "revitalized" freedom to the people of the U.S....
You have to be retarded to not figure out who the main bad guy is (as I just spelled it out right there).
Director Lee Tamahori (who did Die Another Day), seems to have grown a knack for depicting action scenes. When the movie stalls to forward the "plot", and to recouperate you from all the blatant pyrotechnics, you just have to wonder how the next action scene would outdo the prior one. You see, the action scenes in this XXX are so BLATANTLY OVER-THE-TOP and CRAZY that your brain and senses get turned to mush. Consider some of the following scenes:
Warning! Scene spoilers!
* Stone drives a boat up a hydraulic piston on a river up onto a bridge, crushing a police car, pathing it's way across both sides of traffic, then exploding, throwing the police care off the bridge and into the river.....while Stone walks "slo-mo" style with attitude.
* Stone commandeers a tank on an aircraft carrier and duels another tank. Yes, that's right....duels with a tank in an aircraft carrier. The opposing tank fires at Stone, and Stone gracefully DODGES the shot by turning at an extreme angle with speed. Let me repeat that: Stone, in a tank, DODGES a tank shot....at an angle with SPEED.....INSIDE an AIRCRAFT CARRIER. Carefully picture that in your mind and let me know if that is so wrong on so many levels.....
* Stone and crew become the "freedom force" and take on the military in the streets of Washington D.C. And what vehicles do they use? SUVs, and trucks that have been PIMPED OUT TO THE HIGHEST ORDER OF MAGNITUDE AND HEIGHT thanks to Xzibit and West Coast Customs (I'm just kidding here...hehe!). But really, you've never seen totally tricked out SUVs with 10-story tall hydraulics. I mean, that's pretty much was the point of introducing Xzibit' character and what his job was....I mean geez!
* Stone and Xzibit assault a tank head-on in the streets of Washington D.C. They pull out these magical hydraulics and "jack-up" the tank, saw through the metal canopy, and commandeer the tank. That's right folks, for the first time ever in cinema....the world's first "tank jacking"!
* Stone pursues a bullet train (a private bullet train....in Washington D.C.... yeah right!) with a Shelby Cobra Prototype. Stone drives it onto the tracks and catches up with it exceeding over 160 mph. He rams the train with the car, fires upon it, and boards the train in the rear......while all this exceeding speeds of over 220 mph!
* Stone dives off the bullet train (with it exploding in the background), fires a shot into the river to create an impact deluge, and swims to avoid the train wreckage which was trailing him in fiery fireball pieces of hell.
* Stone commandeers a tank on an aircraft carrier and duels another tank. Yes, that's right....duels with a tank in an aircraft carrier. The opposing tank fires at Stone, and Stone gracefully DODGES the shot by turning at an extreme angle with speed. Let me repeat that: Stone, in a tank, DODGES a tank shot....at an angle with SPEED.....INSIDE an AIRCRAFT CARRIER. Carefully picture that in your mind and let me know if that is so wrong on so many levels.....
* Stone and crew become the "freedom force" and take on the military in the streets of Washington D.C. And what vehicles do they use? SUVs, and trucks that have been PIMPED OUT TO THE HIGHEST ORDER OF MAGNITUDE AND HEIGHT thanks to Xzibit and West Coast Customs (I'm just kidding here...hehe!). But really, you've never seen totally tricked out SUVs with 10-story tall hydraulics. I mean, that's pretty much was the point of introducing Xzibit' character and what his job was....I mean geez!
* Stone and Xzibit assault a tank head-on in the streets of Washington D.C. They pull out these magical hydraulics and "jack-up" the tank, saw through the metal canopy, and commandeer the tank. That's right folks, for the first time ever in cinema....the world's first "tank jacking"!
* Stone pursues a bullet train (a private bullet train....in Washington D.C.... yeah right!) with a Shelby Cobra Prototype. Stone drives it onto the tracks and catches up with it exceeding over 160 mph. He rams the train with the car, fires upon it, and boards the train in the rear......while all this exceeding speeds of over 220 mph!
* Stone dives off the bullet train (with it exploding in the background), fires a shot into the river to create an impact deluge, and swims to avoid the train wreckage which was trailing him in fiery fireball pieces of hell.
Yes, I couldn't believe what I was seeing either. Crazy scenes indeed. Of course, the last act was done entirely in CG....and even though it all looked so fake....the intensity was still authentic. Throw believability out the widow....haha!
Ok, so this XXX sequel was a straight-up popcorn flick all the way. I changed my mindset in the middle of flick and took it for what it was. No way I would take this film seriously.....but instead as a 1.5-hour reality killer where fantasy and nuts reign supreme. Yep, XXX is a bad movie, but it pulls no punches in gargantuan, loud, whiz-bang pyrotechnitry. And it's because of those elements that I found myself smiling (or you may shake your head in disgust).
XXX: State of the Union is ballsied up makeover of its predecessor. This film would have been perfect as a Summer film (like in July) when people's brain cells are burned out by all the nice, hot summer sun and weather. But hey, if you're going to check this out, LEAVE YOUR BRAIN AT THE DOOR and just let Ice Cube shake it up with his staple attitude......since you definitely need redemption over his vomit-inducing "Are We There Yet?"
