Large goals divided up into small baby goals, and accountability.
What are your goals like at the moment?
Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
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What are your goals like at the moment?
Femmeworth
Banned
*raises hand* If you find a solution, let me know.
Most people who are successful at anything didn't do that thing alone. For the majority of people, being accountable to only yourself isn't enough?
Who have you told your goals and plans to other than us? If not, explore that. Find that person or, preferably, small group of people. They could be your mother, father, siblings, close friends, close colleagues, even someone on GAF that's really close to you.
If so, are you in contact with those person(s) every day? Do you talk or text with that person frequently? So you see that person in person regularly?
You're not lazy. A lazy person wouldn't bother in the first place. A true lazy person wouldn't recognize their shortcoming and feel grief over them. You need love and motivation.
What if there is no afterlife? Not willing to take that chance.
grap3fruitman
Banned
Of course there isn't: that's the point.
Cameron122
Member
At a wedding
Knowing i'll never be in love sucks lol
Knowing i'll never be in love sucks lol
Prax
Member
I think laziness has more to do with not wanting to do something you're confident in being able to get done, so you put it off. Like not wanting to wash dishes. lol That's more inertia, I think. You are already not doing it and you don't have the energy to spark it so you don't bother lol.
However, a lot of procrastination that seems like is laziness is probably actually fear of failure or anxiety-producing perfectionism. Like you don't know if trying will be worth it or if you'll fail and you don't want to embarrass yourself with failing at something simple. Or nothing ever seems to be the perfect conditions and the perfect time and you having the perfect skills and it haaaas to be perfect because.. reasons.. >_>
This one I feel a lot when I have "work" to do, like meeting any kind of expectations for others. Even if the task seems easy, I don't want to be judged/evaluated/SEEN, and that will lead to me having no willpower to follow through.
I think even with something like getting more exercise and diet.. at some point my mind starts thinking about how other will perceive me or even ask me about stuff like how my day went and if I am reaching my goals and I just want none of that. To me, that is perceived as judgment even if it's meant to be friendly chitchat. lol So i don't do it, even if it's actually supposed to be for improving my health and overall esteem or something. Things get pretty complicated when you brain auto-redirects to bad thought loops!
But yeah, I really need to get on that. On everything.
On the plus side, I have been drawing a bunch! Bagels and whoever else following me on tumblr have witnessed! (lol) I just can't post most of it up because it's like.. full of naked bodies. :C ...
NOT THESE ONES THOUGH~! YAY! FINALLY ARTTT!!!!
I finally feel like I broke through a creative slump and it's so niiice..
A collab comic paaage~~~
I'm also very proud of these two but THEY ARE NOT SAFE FOR WORK CLICK AT OWN RISK! (mild/artistic nudity, really lol, but somewhat sexual themes)
- http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2...8___orleien_and_vetis_by_meibatsu-d757wjv.png
- http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2..._8___nuraj_and_etheon_by_meibatsu-d75f9ip.png
But maybe it's more a manic rise as I've been up past 24 hours now.. again. >_> That's twice this week. Humenenum..
WEll, the two I'm actually holding onto are eating healthier and looking for work. Been pretty consistent about filling out applications and all that.
Everything else? Things like writing more - I haven't written much of anything since about November; I had a topic in mind for my blog, but I got nothing so far - studying to get my learner's permit after putting it off for years, reading more (had a book I was reading and only made it to page 25), and exercising.
The biggest problem seems to be that the longer I put things off, the more I psyche myself out of doing anything. It starts to feel pointless after a certain point, and I get angry with myself. Like, really angry. And when I do start doing something, I tend to struggle through it.
Will do! I really need to figure this out.*raises hand* If you find a solution, let me know.
I haven't been in contact with much of anyone lately. My phone is off and my family are all usually out at work while I'm home. The one person I could have made myself accountable to I can't even contact them anymore without my phone, and being accountable to my family has never really worked.
I know no one responded, but how do you guys motivate yourself?
Even without a job I struggled to motivate myself, but it's even harder now with a job (as I'm sure you guys will agree).
I feel belittled at work quite a bit, and I've quite frankly had enough of it. The guys I work with for the most part are nice people, and I get on with them, but I'm going in the wrong direction (and not one I wish to go in). As I've mentioned before I'm tempted to do an online animation course, which I hope will motivate myself and push me in the right direction.
I really do think I'm going to have to get help this year, since I can't sustain living like this for much longer.
Anyway I'm sorry for bothering you guys with yet another post.
Hey, it's cool - nobody replied to me either
I wish I could give you some good advice, but all I can say is what's working for me at the moment. I struggle with being motivated for my job because it takes so much out of me and it doesn't 'feel' authentic a lot of the time. What I've done to motivate myself is take up a hobby which I take seriously. So I devote - almost militaristically - time during the week to learning how to code and make games. It's kind of an 'escape plan' and reminds me that there's more to life than work. I also set myself time tables, so I'm on a 1,000 day plan at the moment! I'm taking stock in 3 years and seeing how I feel. Hopefully by then I'll be financially more secure and able to re-evaluate how to spend my life.
Hope that helps a bit.
Gentle Rodriguez
Member
The last time I went outside was 2 weeks ago to go to the barber, got a panic attack when I returned. Today I went to the store(because I had to) and when I got back I got a panic attack again. Why the hell would I want to go outside when it only triggers intense rage and panic. There's nothing out there I enjoy. If I'm going to be miserable at least I want to be comfortable as possible, in my own home.
I feel like a goddamn alien.
I feel like a goddamn alien.
Yes! The whole post - especially the bolded - speaks exactly to what I'm going through. There's this annoying sense of perfectionism that is running through every inch of my body. I don't want to write because I'm afraid of how I'll be seen after not updating my blog in months. I'm afraid to tell everyone I lost my job or anything related to it - I couldn't bring myself to even tell my best and most understanding friend that my phone was cut. She thought I was ignoring her
- cause I'm afraid of being seen as a loser. I feel like there's this invisible committee of people I know judging my every move, and that feeling adds so much pressure to everything I do.So I need everything to be perfect, but then I psyche myself out because I know I can't be perfect, and then I start trying to measure my abilities and I start feeling like I'm not good enough.
I figure my only option is to try and power through it. Take away the pressure and the fear of judgement and just hold onto the fact that these things make me happy. But even that feels impossible...
PS. You art is fantastic! I'm jealous. ^_^
Sorry I missed your last post. I'm dealing with the same struggle with motivation. After reading a bit online and thinking about what others have posted and just what I know, I think the key to getting motivated is taking the pressure off yourself. It requires a change of thinking and how you see the things you want and have to do.
I think we put too much pressure on ourselves when it comes to doing the things we want to do. Which is a shame, because that's the best way to stay motivated while doing something you'd rather not be doing. Like, working a job you hate or don't feel comfortable at. That's what got me through my last two jobs - knowing that once the work was over, I could go home and pursue the things I really care about. That's also probably what affected my productivity at my last job: the hours were so long that I struggled that I no longer had any free time, and thus, grew to resent my work.
I say go ahead and take that animation class. Do it not in the hopes that it will cause some dramatic change in your personality or life because that's just going to bring about unnecessary pressure. Just do it because it's what you want to do. That pressure is no good for you.
I think becoming truly motivated means convincing yourself you can do whatever you want and that whatever obstacles are in your way are far from insurmountable. Which is easier said than done, I know, but it's the best answer I've got.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Yes this seems like good, sound advice.
Well, you're here with the rest of us anyway, so may as well make the best of it. It's not like anyone else can find true peace either; being a human ensures that you will always be craving something at some level and also of course by extension forever be susceptible to pain.
I don't care what anyone says, different brand manufactured versions of the same drug have different effects on me. First month of Citalopram - I felt a little better, a little more energetic, a little more interested in my life instead of just letting it rot and slip away. Second month continued that trend, I felt pretty good. Sure, I had my fair share of bad days but mostly I could cope, and I found myself enjoying my hobbies more and more. 3rd month comes along, and it's irritating because I have a different manufacturer of the same drug. What happens? First night of taking it, I get horrible flared up sinuses. It hurts for days and pisses me off no end. After a while though I become adjusted to it and I'm fine, again still with my bad days but overall okay. And then just last week I went and got my monthly prescription. First night, sinuses flare up again. Fuck that shit. And since then I've felt like garbage, sad, overly moody, aggressive and just downright pitiful. I don't feel cared about, I barely have one person I can call a friend because I have STUPIDLY high expectations of what a friend is to me, I just feel totally and utterly worthless. It's like I don't have a good reason to exist for anyone.
These meds that I'm currently on, they're different. They feel different. I wasn't like this.. I wasn't. I just wanna cry and I can't. Something's blocking me from just letting it overflow and wash away.
Everything is so fucked. I see people here and I just want to help because everyone here wants help and so few responses reach out and grab hold of them, and I have so much love for people but this stupid fucking depression is ruining any chance I have of being the supportive person I want to be and it's turning me into an insecure, rambling mess of trash. This isn't how I was meant to be and this isn't how I was even a few weeks ago. Upset and moody, yes, but not like this.
Argh, I can't even talk about it properly. I'm in a constant frown and it hurts.
These meds that I'm currently on, they're different. They feel different. I wasn't like this.. I wasn't. I just wanna cry and I can't. Something's blocking me from just letting it overflow and wash away.
Everything is so fucked. I see people here and I just want to help because everyone here wants help and so few responses reach out and grab hold of them, and I have so much love for people but this stupid fucking depression is ruining any chance I have of being the supportive person I want to be and it's turning me into an insecure, rambling mess of trash. This isn't how I was meant to be and this isn't how I was even a few weeks ago. Upset and moody, yes, but not like this.
Argh, I can't even talk about it properly. I'm in a constant frown and it hurts.
I'm sorry I didn't get to this sooner. Motivation is one of my biggest struggles. I tend to put things off until the last minute and then panic a lot.
Lately I've tried just scaring myself into getting stuff done. "Do you really want to fail?" No. I don't want to study or do homework either, but if I fail, the cycle of me failing, feeling bad about it and then doing nothing and failing again would continue. I literally force myself to get work done these days. I've found once I've started, I can usually finish on time, but not as quick as I should be able to, since my mind still wanders.
I wouldn't recommend making yourself feel like crap about yourself, but it's what I do. Then again, I'm not very kind to myself. :/
Someone like that is not worth your time.
Yes I know but it's so hard for me to let things go.. I guess it's my social anxiety that makes things like that stay with me for a long time. It's like I'm haunted or something just from what people say to me sometimes.
BruiserBear
Banned
Placebo affects can be very powerful. You'd be surprised how much of your physical and mental state is affected by what you think is happening, not what actually is happening.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Who said it to you? A friend? A stranger walking by?
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I can understand this. I still remember my mother's response to something I said being that I can grow up to be all alone.
I'm really bothered by my body lately. Not only the moobs but my gut. I haven't had any success dieting for years now. My biggest issue is binge eating episodes like last night when I ate a pint of Ben & Jerry's frozen yogurt. I feel out of control when I eat sometimes.
I know exactly what you're talking about. I wish there was an easy way to train our brains to not do this anymore, but I haven't had any luck. It really sucks.
Good news, this is what will happen. Unless there is magic in the universe (which is what it would take for memory to exist after death), you will be vanished and it'll be like you were never born. Is that reassuring?
This idea is actually reassuring to me whenever I'm depressed or think I did something horrible and it's devastating whenever I'm happy. It's always on the back of my mind.
I guess that's one of the reasons why I avoid social activities. I'm always so afraid of someone saying something to me that I won't be able to let go of. It's the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night..
I posted about my situation on another forum and someone said it to me, by the way.
I posted about my situation on another forum and someone said it to me, by the way.
EverythingShiny
Member
I feel for you, I really do. About both the medicine and wanting to help. I haven't been on psychiatric meds for a few years now, but I know switching the generic brand of my birth control can give me different side effects and it's really frustrating because my pharmacy would switch generic brands all the fucking time.
Also, I know how you feel about responding to people. I also feel bad because I can't respond to everyone but you do what you can. I'm also battling a lot of things at the moment and I feel like I can't be as supportive as I want to be.
So you think the recent change in your mood is attributed to the different brand of medicine? You could try talking to the pharmacy and seeing if they're going to be switching back to the other brand. Or have your doctor write a prescription for that specific brand and mark that the pharmacy can't make substitutions. That's what my psychiatrist did. You may have to pay a bit more, though.
Femmeworth
Banned
I haven't felt this depressed in a long time.
I feel you. It's really hard for me to cry ever since I started medication.
MisterLuffy
Member
As much as I want to quit watching lesbian porn, it's difficult to quit. I always get these urges. I've been watching it for many years, and I'm not proud of myself. I'm disgusting, perverted, and a freak. It's like a disease that sticks with you forever. I can't live with myself when I have this dark secret. I remember recently quitting watching lesbian porn of a week and felt really good about it. Till I found myself back watching it again. A cycle that never ends. Also, I masturbate which is the worst act I've done in years.
... wait, what am I missing here? Sorry for asking, but what's wrong with that?
I haven't been able to cry for years now. Even without medication.
If he's religious, it's a double whammy of guilt. Plus his family or his culture might look down on it.
Also, Luffy, there's software you can install to block websites with certain content. Google K9 Web Protection, set it to block anything you don't want to see, and set a password. It may also block content that you may want to see, though. It's by no means perfect, but it can help.
Out of Working Order
Member
Sounds like an immature fuckwit. Ignore it.
I wish I was in a long term coma, at least then I would be getting plenty of rest. Not like I would be missing anything in my waking state. Just doing futile things to fill the time, all the while being stuck with myself. The joyless, pitiful loner until I can finally fall asleep. I see people that have depression issues going on, but are still able to produce some extroverted joy to bring to others. I have nothing of the sort. I just seem to be getting deeper, and deeper into the hole as time goes on, no matter what I do. Even during times were I was more active I still felt like a lost cause, not made for the world out there. Which is becoming more evidently true. No obligations, goals, passion, purpose. I feel truly dead inside, wish it would all just fucking stop.
Been taking the Prozac (at 20 mg) for the last five days. It'll take a while to fully kick in but I already feel it. It's mostly canceled out the deepest lows so I'm not crying every day. Instead, I'm just sorta numb. Not sure if that's an improvement. At least when I was crying, it felt like I was purging all the emotions I struggle with every day. I put on a good show when I'm around people (very rare) or in voice chat but I took acting for non-majors courses in college. I know how to play the game.
I just got out of the flare from hell, lasted four days. Each one has been slightly stronger and slightly longer-lasting than the one before it. For the most part, they're spaced about two weeks apart, although that length has been slowly getting closer and closer together. Worse, the non-flare days have also been worsening so that no matter what, I'm pretty much confined to my apartment. It's just the difference between being confined to my apartment and being confined to bed, popping ineffective pills and screaming and crying because the pain is so bad. Sometimes I have to crawl to the bathroom just to take a shit because my legs can't support the rest of my body. Other times, my scalp itches and aches so badly that it feels like it's on fire. And that's just for starters.
Everyone knows it's not much of a life and I'm always buffeted by the sheer rage of the situation and the grief of what I've lost. For a while, I convinced myself that I'd hang on for my friends, that they need me. And that's a worthy goal, very noble. Anyone who is close to me knows just how intense my love is. Problem is, it's not enough. It's one of the harshest realizations of life, that love is the most amazing, important thing but by itself, it can't keep the flame burning. There has to be more. I can't wake up in the morning (or the afternoon or the evening, depending) and hope that the love of my friends will get me through the next forty or so years. There have to be goals. There have to be aspirations, reasonable challenges that can be overcome, dreams. The ones I had are dead and there's nothing that can replace them.
My mom is devastated because she wanted so much more for her kids (my sister being schizophrenic) and she refuses to let me go. "What would I do without you?" she cries. Friends try to be understanding, some admit that they need me around, others just don't know what to say. Many drifted away simply from the pressure of being friends with someone who is so sick. At what point can it be said that I've fought enough? At what point will people be willing to let me go, understanding that the situation is nothing short of cataclysmic? Anyone who has spent time with me and sees how much I suffer knows better than to accuse me of being selfish. I just want some goddamn peace but every morning I wake up and the torture begins all over again.
When I was in my early 20s, I figured my legacy would be as a musician. We all hope we'll make some lasting imprint in life. I had switched from composition to doing collaborative piano with other musicians, especially singers. My teachers complimented me on the choice, saying that they felt I had really found my niche. The universe did a perfectly satisfactory job of shattering this to pieces. Now, approaching my mid-30s, I'm realizing that the impact I've made here in D-GAF is what I'll really be remembered for, at least by the ones who matter.
I didn't need to make some awesome world-premiere splash, or perform with Renee Fleming. Didn't need to conduct a full orchestra, bicker with Domingo or tell an opera singer bitch (and believe me, they exist) that's she's being a pain in the ass. I just needed to befriend a bunch of very different people, all connected to each other in so many different ways and tell them how awesome they are, even though they don't realize it themselves. If we weren't so separated by distance, I would hug every one of them and tell them how much they're loved... and that's something that the motherfucking asshole universe can't destroy.
I just got out of the flare from hell, lasted four days. Each one has been slightly stronger and slightly longer-lasting than the one before it. For the most part, they're spaced about two weeks apart, although that length has been slowly getting closer and closer together. Worse, the non-flare days have also been worsening so that no matter what, I'm pretty much confined to my apartment. It's just the difference between being confined to my apartment and being confined to bed, popping ineffective pills and screaming and crying because the pain is so bad. Sometimes I have to crawl to the bathroom just to take a shit because my legs can't support the rest of my body. Other times, my scalp itches and aches so badly that it feels like it's on fire. And that's just for starters.
Everyone knows it's not much of a life and I'm always buffeted by the sheer rage of the situation and the grief of what I've lost. For a while, I convinced myself that I'd hang on for my friends, that they need me. And that's a worthy goal, very noble. Anyone who is close to me knows just how intense my love is. Problem is, it's not enough. It's one of the harshest realizations of life, that love is the most amazing, important thing but by itself, it can't keep the flame burning. There has to be more. I can't wake up in the morning (or the afternoon or the evening, depending) and hope that the love of my friends will get me through the next forty or so years. There have to be goals. There have to be aspirations, reasonable challenges that can be overcome, dreams. The ones I had are dead and there's nothing that can replace them.
My mom is devastated because she wanted so much more for her kids (my sister being schizophrenic) and she refuses to let me go. "What would I do without you?" she cries. Friends try to be understanding, some admit that they need me around, others just don't know what to say. Many drifted away simply from the pressure of being friends with someone who is so sick. At what point can it be said that I've fought enough? At what point will people be willing to let me go, understanding that the situation is nothing short of cataclysmic? Anyone who has spent time with me and sees how much I suffer knows better than to accuse me of being selfish. I just want some goddamn peace but every morning I wake up and the torture begins all over again.
When I was in my early 20s, I figured my legacy would be as a musician. We all hope we'll make some lasting imprint in life. I had switched from composition to doing collaborative piano with other musicians, especially singers. My teachers complimented me on the choice, saying that they felt I had really found my niche. The universe did a perfectly satisfactory job of shattering this to pieces. Now, approaching my mid-30s, I'm realizing that the impact I've made here in D-GAF is what I'll really be remembered for, at least by the ones who matter.
I didn't need to make some awesome world-premiere splash, or perform with Renee Fleming. Didn't need to conduct a full orchestra, bicker with Domingo or tell an opera singer bitch (and believe me, they exist) that's she's being a pain in the ass. I just needed to befriend a bunch of very different people, all connected to each other in so many different ways and tell them how awesome they are, even though they don't realize it themselves. If we weren't so separated by distance, I would hug every one of them and tell them how much they're loved... and that's something that the motherfucking asshole universe can't destroy.
Earlier today, this morning in fact, after showering my troll body had to go number 2.
As I sat there I started coming up with a melody and random lines and it turned into a song.
Well usually when I do that, I don't actually act on it at all. This time I decided screw it and wrote some of it down. I found the text document just now and finished it off quickly, and now you get to see what happens when I get annoyed about bowel movements.
man the part i wrote to finish it sure sucks hahahahaha
As I sat there I started coming up with a melody and random lines and it turned into a song.
Well usually when I do that, I don't actually act on it at all. This time I decided screw it and wrote some of it down. I found the text document just now and finished it off quickly, and now you get to see what happens when I get annoyed about bowel movements.
man the part i wrote to finish it sure sucks hahahahaha
MisterLuffy
Member
I've installed it but I couldn't access the website when I clicked on the application because the firewall is on. I don't think I'm able to turn it off since I'm using my older brother's internet. So I'm unable to use the software. Is there another software I could use?
btw, my religion is Islam but wouldn't call myself religious because I've committed more sins than praying. I feel like crap when I watch it while masturbating. It makes me feel disgusted on the inside and on the outside.
So I have a new job. It's working from home and I'd be making decent money. I should be more excited.
But the time table during which I work, 8 to 4, would interfere with me doing this volunteer position working with students for a local tech school. While I need money (I'm broke and money is tight around the house), I really want to do this volunteer thing. It would certainly be a better use for my degree than sitting around for 12 hours testing games at Zenimax.
I feel so guilty about potentially giving up this great job for something else when my family needs the money. I still have an interview with the volunteer place tomorrow as well as another job that would potentially allow me to still volunteer, so I'll see. Still, I wish I could be happy for myself for once.
But the time table during which I work, 8 to 4, would interfere with me doing this volunteer position working with students for a local tech school. While I need money (I'm broke and money is tight around the house), I really want to do this volunteer thing. It would certainly be a better use for my degree than sitting around for 12 hours testing games at Zenimax.
I feel so guilty about potentially giving up this great job for something else when my family needs the money. I still have an interview with the volunteer place tomorrow as well as another job that would potentially allow me to still volunteer, so I'll see. Still, I wish I could be happy for myself for once.
Can you potentially work on weekends and do two days of volunteering during the week?
See if you can reschedule the volunteer position! And even if you can't do it right now, that doesn't mean you can't go back to it later. Congrats on the job.
The job is set at Mon-Fri 8 to 4. Good hours, but the volunteer stuff starts at 4 too. Getting from my home to the school would take at least an hour. :/
See if you can reschedule the volunteer position! And even if you can't do it right now, that doesn't mean you can't go back to it later. Congrats on the job.
That's what I'm going to ask at my interview tomorrow. I really want to do this, but I obviously can't afford to turn down a job right now.
CarbonRevenge
Banned
So I had a strong college semester for my first semester of college. Things went well and I had a decently high GPA. I only dropped one class because I just couldn't handle the course load and decided that i'd make it up eventually down the line by trying to for credit during another semester. Skip to this spring semester where I went to class most of the first twoish weeks of school, started skipping as soon as something personal effected me and caused me to lose motivation for everything, and then now i'm at the point where i'm just finally starting to get back on track even if it means skipping the first exams because of how far behind I am.
This has put me in a position where i've already outright became unable to pass a writing course due to absences(I can't get my way out of it as there's no exceptions) so i'm basically down one class. I have now just have to catch up on readings for my Pop Culture, Geology, PoliSci, and just keep up with my Film History. I hope that I can recover from this rocky start of a semester and it doesn't look too good as of right now. I'm just worried. This semester has just started horribly for me and i'm hoping to get somewhere good by the end of it. I doubt I will though...and i'll have to recover it via another semester entirely. Who knows. College is a learning experience and I keep learning that I bite off more than I can chew at most places. I've learned I can honestly only ever manage 12 credit hours because I suck at academic stuff. I'm sure i'll have to take online summer courses at some point to graduate at a decent time but eh...
This has put me in a position where i've already outright became unable to pass a writing course due to absences(I can't get my way out of it as there's no exceptions) so i'm basically down one class. I have now just have to catch up on readings for my Pop Culture, Geology, PoliSci, and just keep up with my Film History. I hope that I can recover from this rocky start of a semester and it doesn't look too good as of right now. I'm just worried. This semester has just started horribly for me and i'm hoping to get somewhere good by the end of it. I doubt I will though...and i'll have to recover it via another semester entirely. Who knows. College is a learning experience and I keep learning that I bite off more than I can chew at most places. I've learned I can honestly only ever manage 12 credit hours because I suck at academic stuff. I'm sure i'll have to take online summer courses at some point to graduate at a decent time but eh...
EverythingShiny
Member
I'm so sorry. You can recover for sure. I had two major depressive episodes in my sophomore year of college. I ended up leaving school for three months and dropping three of my 5 classes. I worked out a deal with the teachers of my two remaining classes that I could take the exams when I got back to school. At this time, I also applied to transfer schools, since the college I was at was part of the problem.
Right before I was going to transfer, during the spring semester, I ended up dropping two classes again because depression struck again. I graduated two years later (on time) with honors from the university I transferred to and went on to get a Master's degree.
So, it may feel impossible, but you can do it. The most important thing is taking care of yourself; if you have to drop a class or two so you can make the other classes work, that's okay. Even if you have to take a summer class (which I opted to), that's okay too! It may suck while you're doing it, but it's seriously not the end of the world.
Boy Wander
Member
What help are you getting with your anxiety. I suffer myself and am quite familiar with Panic Attacks as well as more debilitating anxiety disorder. I have to say though that the rage thing seems peculiar to me - does the rage accompany the panic? Also you say that there is nothing out there that you enjoy - is that really the case? A classic symptom of anxiety is to generalise and to catastrophise stuff. I would seriously recommend CBT/Counselling if you haven't already gone down that route. Also a good start is to read up on classic negative thought patterns and how to challenge them, keep a diary of your thoughts and practice challenging them. Getting out of anxiety is basically about retraining your subconcious and the shitty thing about it is that it is fucking hard work which, as most anxiety/depression sufferers will know, is what ,makes getting over it seem such a daunting task. Anyway, I hope you get over this phase of your condition and manage to move forwards. Things are never as bad as they seem.
MisterLuffy
Member
Here is why I hate group projects, assignments, or activities in middle school and high school, people are always picky when it comes to choosing people to be in their groups. It reminds me back in the day of PE when nobody wanted to choose me to be part of their group. I also remember in my bio class at high school where I asked one girl if she wanted to partner up with me since she has no partner. She told me that her partner was absent. Just thinking about that makes me angry.
Even when things are "fine", they're not. The anxiety I am experiencing while trying to study for the test I have on Thursday is kicking my ass right now, and my brain feels like it's about to explode. I used to be better at this. *sigh*
Yep.
Invited out > feel uncomfortable/lonely/like an outcast > feel like crap about it > turn down other invites to go out > Feel lonely > ...
It's a shitty cycle.
Yep.
Invited out > feel uncomfortable/lonely/like an outcast > feel like crap about it > turn down other invites to go out > Feel lonely > ...
It's a shitty cycle.
Out of Working Order
Member
You don't know how similar you are to me. I simply find it hard to care about anything, or anyone. I enjoy painting, but I don't feel utterly passionate about it.
Sleep is my favourite time, because then I don't feel anything. Every night I wish to never wake up again. I want nothing more. Question is, how do you get through another (I expect) 30-40 years like this? Although I am thinking that when my parents are gone, I'll quietly off myself then. I'd do it now if I could.
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