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Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years
- Thread starter Minamu
- Start date
- Status
Maybe but I see it the other way.
If its just some light hearted card like he says I still don't think its a problem. People do it all the time. It really ain't no big thing.
I'm assuming he is still in school and stuff.
Edit,: also they are not friends. So going up to a girl which your not that close with and offering support based on the abusive relationship, I see even a bit more creepy. And again like I said, its probably best not to even bring it up.
I guess, i was assuming that it might be a coworker or a friend when i wrote that. I have a good relationship with my coworkers, so that might be why i thought about doing something like this, ha. If its just a girl at school, someone he doesn't talk with everyday, that might not be as ideal.
I comforted her a few days ago because she needed someone to talk to about it. Exchanged #s and promised a meet up when she's nearby as she travels a lot.
I don't really know her very well, but we have met when we were younger.
Both of us are not in school.
Yeah this relationship is getting pretty serious. Just 1 month in and I will have spent 7 nights in a row with her. We cook supper together every night. It's pretty much assumed that I'll see her every night unless there one of us had some prior commitments. Still, I don't feel like it's moving too fast. It feels right.
Going skating tonight on the Rideau canal for the first time in years. Should be fun.
Going skating tonight on the Rideau canal for the first time in years. Should be fun.
The Artful Dodger
Member
You're going Full Boyle, but it's working out. Good for you!
In that case, get her the V card, it shows you care more than just some random facebook message. I'm also a huge ham but hey, at least the people I care about know it. I don't think she could see a V card with no chocolates/flowers/sex innuendo as creepy. If she takes it as romantic that means she already sees you as a potential partner IMHO.
I used to think the same, but I've learned that isn't the case. It just depends on the woman and her own past experiences. There are some bitter women out there just like there are bitter men, and a lot of women have had bad relationships that play subconsciously into their interpretations of what guys do. That doesn't mean they'll view every move as creepy or ill-intended though. EDIT: and from what I have seen, people can misuse the term on those they don't find attractive.
Good for you mate! Congrats
PflargBlarg
Member
Perspicacity
Banned
Grapefruitman you should get into blow. Makes you a lot more social.
Not unless you want to look like a big doofus.
I'm not going to wear one, because yeah it seems like no one else does. Seems a little stupid though, considering the risk of falling is just as great, or greater than with a bicycle.
HalfBakedProphet
Member
OK, this needs to be said. Sorry in advance for the derail, this will be my last post on this issue.
You have a date setup and you're ready to just bail. So what is your purpose here? You arent interested in dating and your issues go so much deeper than anything this thread should be concerned with, what possible reason are you here? Attention. Until you decide to put forth the effort to seek help and really want to get better, nothing is going to change. We've fed your narcissistic tendencies for too long and at this point we are enabling you. Attention is your drug. You've chosen to throw all our help back in our faces. I'd tell you to spend more time in the mental health thread, but that is for people trying to get better. They don't need your dog and pony show , "woe is me" bullshit anymore than the posters here do. You aren't even at the starting line yet towards improving yourself because you're too deep in your own denial.
This post might sound harsh for those who don't know your history, but it needs to be said. You're doing no good here. You're a distraction, a constant derail, a drain on time and effort that could be spent on posters who are willing to try. Its massive disappointing you care so little about the people trying to help you. I argue we care more about you than you care about yourself. Until that changes, there is nothing to be said or done that is going to change as it pertains to your situation. GAF isn't good for grap3 and grap3 isnt good for GAF.
"I have crippling anxiety and depression. I'm horribly lonely
"
"You need to speak with an expert, we aren't doctors man. Go to a therapist, maybe cognitive behavioral therapy is a good avenue for you. Meditation can help. Seek out a psychiatrist, perhaps meds are a good start. Whatever it is, depression and anxiety are serious mental illness issues which you need to address. We are just an internet dating thread, there is only so much we can do."
"You're all going to die alone. Fuck you for not helping me"
"Bro you need outside assistance, this is a dating thread. We cant save you"
"I hate myself, fuck you for not helping me"
But stretch that out over several years.
This is my last post dedicated to you or your problems until you show some sign of putting forth effort. It would be in the best interest of the thread (and in your best interst too, by the way) to ignore you from now on, but I have no control over that so you'll probably still get the attention you crave. You're an addict. Instead of stealing money from the people close to you to feed your addiction, you're stealing time and effort from the posters in this thread. You don't make addicts better but enabling them. These people care about you (as do I, which is why im so worked up over this) and you've been taking advantage of that. The best thing for you would be to get off GAF and get serious about tackling your mental illness.
again, fucking ungrateful. You don't want help and are unwilling to help yourself. There is nothing we can do over the internet to make you like yourself. If you don't like yourself, most of this advice is going to do fuck all for helping you with dating. You could put together several books on all the dating advice given in these threads. You could put together a rather lengthy report just on the personalized guidance custom made for your situation. Seriously, go back and look at all the posts just me, stn or idde made trying to assist you the best we could. Honestly, its personally insulting to have you say we havent put forth detailed advice to help you. Bull. Fucking. Shit. You ignore it, blow it off, make excuses.
You have a date setup and you're ready to just bail. So what is your purpose here? You arent interested in dating and your issues go so much deeper than anything this thread should be concerned with, what possible reason are you here? Attention. Until you decide to put forth the effort to seek help and really want to get better, nothing is going to change. We've fed your narcissistic tendencies for too long and at this point we are enabling you. Attention is your drug. You've chosen to throw all our help back in our faces. I'd tell you to spend more time in the mental health thread, but that is for people trying to get better. They don't need your dog and pony show , "woe is me" bullshit anymore than the posters here do. You aren't even at the starting line yet towards improving yourself because you're too deep in your own denial.
This post might sound harsh for those who don't know your history, but it needs to be said. You're doing no good here. You're a distraction, a constant derail, a drain on time and effort that could be spent on posters who are willing to try. Its massive disappointing you care so little about the people trying to help you. I argue we care more about you than you care about yourself. Until that changes, there is nothing to be said or done that is going to change as it pertains to your situation. GAF isn't good for grap3 and grap3 isnt good for GAF.
more like
"I have crippling anxiety and depression. I'm horribly lonely
""You need to speak with an expert, we aren't doctors man. Go to a therapist, maybe cognitive behavioral therapy is a good avenue for you. Meditation can help. Seek out a psychiatrist, perhaps meds are a good start. Whatever it is, depression and anxiety are serious mental illness issues which you need to address. We are just an internet dating thread, there is only so much we can do."
"You're all going to die alone. Fuck you for not helping me"
"Bro you need outside assistance, this is a dating thread. We cant save you"
"I hate myself, fuck you for not helping me"
But stretch that out over several years.
This is my last post dedicated to you or your problems until you show some sign of putting forth effort. It would be in the best interest of the thread (and in your best interst too, by the way) to ignore you from now on, but I have no control over that so you'll probably still get the attention you crave. You're an addict. Instead of stealing money from the people close to you to feed your addiction, you're stealing time and effort from the posters in this thread. You don't make addicts better but enabling them. These people care about you (as do I, which is why im so worked up over this) and you've been taking advantage of that. The best thing for you would be to get off GAF and get serious about tackling your mental illness.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Oh my God, we're back to this excuse again that literally means nothing. You are typing nonsense.
People have given you legit help a lot. But just like how you see a girl saying "yes" to you as a way to get yourself to say "no" to yourself, you twist everything into this semantic black hole that tries to blame everyone else but yourself.
The Artful Dodger
Member
Guys, I understand the frustration and everything, but I think it's high time to let it go. Let's just move on, harping on this isn't going to accomplish anything positive.
Not telling either of you off, I think you both made some valid points, but it's just time to move past this.
HalfBakedProphet
Member
which was exactly my point, it's right there in my post. I needed to express it in a way for everyone to understand the reasons behind why it was in best interest of everyone involved to move on.
Edit:
oh, were good man. True Detective should bring people togetherHaha, alright. Glad to hear it. I just know GAF has a habit of just endlessly responding to eachother and perpetuating an issue and kinda want this one to move on. On to the next one!
I hope this doesn't affect our Friendship on the True Detective thread.
The Artful Dodger
Member
Haha, alright. Glad to hear it. I just know GAF has a habit of just endlessly responding to eachother and perpetuating an issue and kinda want this one to move on. On to the next one!
I hope this doesn't affect our Friendship on the True Detective thread.
Edith, were good man. True Detective should bring people together
True Detective Friends! If I posted in there more, I'd be a TDF too
grap3fruitman
Banned
I'll try and stay out of this thread. I mean to but stray and come in here whenever I'm really lonely. Sorry guys.
stn
Member
Ugh. Nobody wants you to leave, man. Seriously. Visit the thread all you want but please try to be more polite. Nobody here wants to see you fail, okay? Just relax and talk to people without accusations and bitterness.
Just be cool and open up to people, you'll see it can at least give you some insight. Your apology is a good start, so I think we should all just forgive and start fresh.
Cool?
Just be cool and open up to people, you'll see it can at least give you some insight. Your apology is a good start, so I think we should all just forgive and start fresh.
Cool?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
I had a chance to ask a girl out today and I choked just because a friend of her's was with her. I've been meaning to do it since last week and I blew it. I don't see her till again till Tuesday. This weekend is gonna piss me off. Grap3, if you bail on this girl, I will hate you with every fiber of my being. That is all.
I've been reading this thread for the past couple of months, so I figure I'll finally post something today. So I'm 26 and up until this past November I had never dated before. I've always been very shy and have had some anxiety issues. Well this past fall I went back to college after not going for 3 years,and in one of my graphic design courses I met a girl and I eventually added her on Facebook. In early November I asked her out for coffee through a Facebook message and she said yes! The coffee Date went fine and I got her number and asked her out for lunch through a text, and she said yes again. The second date honestly did not go all that well, and she ended up telling me we should just be friends, which we kind of still are.
Fast forward to this semester and there is a really cute, very cool girl that sits in front of me in another one of my graphic design classes. I've been talking to her nearly everyday in class,which is a huge change/success for me in its own right. Anyway in the past couple of classes she started turning around and working on me and my friend's desk, she was even laughing at some of my terrible jokes. I've also caught her looking at me and then quickly looking away. So today I decided I would ask her out, which is a first for me (in person). The class is almost 3 hours long and I talked to her through nearly all of the class, when she said she was going to go and grab some food real quick and then come back to class. I figured this was a perfect opportunity to ask her out,so I went with her and on the way back I asked if she had big plans for Valentines Day tomorrow, this was my not so clever way of seeing if she has a boyfriend. She mentioned that she was single and was going bowling with her friend. She then asked me what I was doing , so I asked her if she would want to go out with me this weekend, and she said she was busy all weekend. She seemed very surprised/flattered that I asked her, but I guess that was a no.
Anyway this thread has really helped me lately, and I have been able to at least make some friends at school, so things are looking up. I guess I'll move on now to that cute girl that sets by me in business class!
Fast forward to this semester and there is a really cute, very cool girl that sits in front of me in another one of my graphic design classes. I've been talking to her nearly everyday in class,which is a huge change/success for me in its own right. Anyway in the past couple of classes she started turning around and working on me and my friend's desk, she was even laughing at some of my terrible jokes. I've also caught her looking at me and then quickly looking away. So today I decided I would ask her out, which is a first for me (in person). The class is almost 3 hours long and I talked to her through nearly all of the class, when she said she was going to go and grab some food real quick and then come back to class. I figured this was a perfect opportunity to ask her out,so I went with her and on the way back I asked if she had big plans for Valentines Day tomorrow, this was my not so clever way of seeing if she has a boyfriend. She mentioned that she was single and was going bowling with her friend. She then asked me what I was doing , so I asked her if she would want to go out with me this weekend, and she said she was busy all weekend. She seemed very surprised/flattered that I asked her, but I guess that was a no.
Anyway this thread has really helped me lately, and I have been able to at least make some friends at school, so things are looking up. I guess I'll move on now to that cute girl that sets by me in business class!
OfWhiteSkinOnRedLeather
Member
After HalfBakedProphet's post, I beginning to wonder if this girl even exists.
grap3fruitman
Banned
Okay, I lied, I'm back already just to let you all know that you were wrong again (about not needing to date). This girl is everything I needed. Despite several hiccups, I had a lovely evening and we're seeing each other again Tuesday. I'll try and get a photo together since now this woman's existence is being called into question. You guys should consider putting me on ignore though. I'm like Agguire to the funny pics thread.
thesoapster
Member
Christ I fucking hate having good connections with women who are taken. It seems that's the case all the time here.
TheVampire
Banned
I just had the best first date I have ever had! She's perfect! I really hope she wants to see me again.
She kissed me on the cheek and laughed a lot and there was lots of eye contact.
She's so funny and hot. Plus she's kinda geeky and we like the same stuff.
We had been talking online for the past two weeks So it seemed like we already had a good connection.
Gimme a second date please!
She kissed me on the cheek and laughed a lot and there was lots of eye contact.
She's so funny and hot. Plus she's kinda geeky and we like the same stuff.
We had been talking online for the past two weeks So it seemed like we already had a good connection.
Gimme a second date please!
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
Been meeting a bunch of girls with a 50s Mexican Frida Kahlo vibe lately. Aesthetic wise not looks wise haha.
Congratulations man. Hopefully now you've gotten a bit of confidence in you. I would still recommend that you talk to a counselor about your self-esteem issues. The world doesn't hate you and you hurt a lot of people's feelings here saying what you did earlier.
The Artful Dodger
Member
Yo, Congrats everyone that had a good outing tonight.
TurboLibre
Member
Weird.
Went out drinking with this girl almost two weeks back and it went really well. Took her back to my place and we made out for a bit, she even came back the next night and we made out some more. Holding my hand, head on my shoulder, everything seemed to be going great. What's weird is after that I haven't been able to go out with her again. Tried twice now and both times were vague "I might hang out with a friend later" responses. Thinking I'll try one more time this weekend, but I'm not overly optimistic.
Went out drinking with this girl almost two weeks back and it went really well. Took her back to my place and we made out for a bit, she even came back the next night and we made out some more. Holding my hand, head on my shoulder, everything seemed to be going great. What's weird is after that I haven't been able to go out with her again. Tried twice now and both times were vague "I might hang out with a friend later" responses. Thinking I'll try one more time this weekend, but I'm not overly optimistic.
TheVampire
Banned
Asking a girl out on FB, yay or nay? It's the same psychology girl I posted about earlier. I ran into her alone about a week ago, she's pretty talkative and we chatted for a while and I met some of her friends. She added me on Facebook later but apart from small chat we haven't really talked since. Should I just go for it or wait till I see her again(bearing in mind the fact she's nearly always surrounded with friends). She's also put her number on Facebook although it might come off slightly creepy if I text her.
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
She has to give you her number before you text her man! I would fb message her for now, do you know if she is single? That not chatting much isn't necessarily a bad thing, you could always as if she wanted to hangout to talk more.
Haha, yeah no chance I'm calling/texting her. She's rarely online on FB though, I'm willing to fb chat but not sure if I just wanna dropping her a message.
was gonna hang out with this girl last night but she ended up having too much home work. she said she was disappointed on really wanted to see me. i then asked if she wanted to spend valentine's day evening with me instead. she hasn't replied to that... hope it didn't sound weird. :/
The Artful Dodger
Member
It might have, but I wouldn't dwell on it. Just hit her up on the 15th like nothing happened and move past it.
The Artful Dodger
Member
she just replied and she says that sounds great!
now i have to think of something to do :| what is appropriate for someone i've only seen 3 times?
Does she like House of Cards?
Kung Fu Jedi
Member
she just replied and she says that sounds great!
now i have to think of something to do :| what is appropriate for someone i've only seen 3 times?
Keep it simple and ignore the fact that it is Valentine's Day. Forget trying to go out for dinner, since every place will be a madhouse tonight. A movie with a bottle of wine and some snacks might be good.
PflargBlarg
Member
Pretty pumped, tomorrow is the official day that we move in together. We've had the keys since yesterday and are kind of doing 'pre-move' moving of things that we don't want to put in the uhaul.
We don't really do valentine's day since it's dumb but we'll have an evening of sushi and wine at the new place with no furniture as a sort of moving celebration with just us.
The place is amazing and we're going to be very happy living there.
We don't really do valentine's day since it's dumb but we'll have an evening of sushi and wine at the new place with no furniture as a sort of moving celebration with just us.
The place is amazing and we're going to be very happy living there.
Kung Fu Jedi
Member
Moving in with my girl in two weeks. Can't wait either. So much work to do between now and then though. Ugh!
Perspicacity
Banned
Sketching? I'm not up to date with today's hip lingo
Perspicacity
Banned
Cool cool, are there any chill bars nearby? It might be fun to grab a table and sketch with each other there.
Met this great gal in Seoul while I went there for 10 days (about 3 weeks ago now). Hung out platonically for the first days but during the last few days that changed. We only had 3 days like that but she's great, studying to become art curator, can sing beautifully and she's pretty cute. Now I'm back home and we've kept in contact daily through Facebook, whatsapp and recently Skype too. Her english is great too but it's still not as natural as it would be in my own language or if she was a native english speaker. I'm just not completely sure if I want to give this long distance thing a real shot. Would I be taking advantage if I kept messing around with people back here while still staying in contact with her?
I really enjoy having someone to talk to and I'd love to see her again, will probably make a pitstop in Seoul this summer so I could visit. We never really had any talk about being exclusive and to be honest I think that would be silly to talk about but at the same time I feel like I might be taking advantage of her. Just wondering if anyone had similar experiences with a brief romantic fling abroad and how they handled it. Messing around might make it seem like I have tons of opportunities which is not exactly the case but I notice myself thinking about other girls and not feeling particularly held back by her while I feel like this should be the case.
I really enjoy having someone to talk to and I'd love to see her again, will probably make a pitstop in Seoul this summer so I could visit. We never really had any talk about being exclusive and to be honest I think that would be silly to talk about but at the same time I feel like I might be taking advantage of her. Just wondering if anyone had similar experiences with a brief romantic fling abroad and how they handled it. Messing around might make it seem like I have tons of opportunities which is not exactly the case but I notice myself thinking about other girls and not feeling particularly held back by her while I feel like this should be the case.
The Artful Dodger
Member
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