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[spuckthew]

Girl I've been getting on extremely well with through text is suddenly, for literally no reason, seemingly ignoring me. Yesterday evening we were chuckling at each other's quippy remarks. I sent her a really closed message (take it or leave it style - it didn't really need a response) at around lunch time today and I've not had a response. There was a 10 hour period where she hadn't signed into WhatsApp, but since she's come back on just before 7pm I haven't heard a peep. I did send a "What's up?" to bait a response with no implications but I'm still not getting anything.

Am I severely over-analysing this or is it normal for someone who thinks I'm adorable, cute and funny to just go cold outright?

 

[NeOak]

Girl I've been getting on extremely well with through text is suddenly, for literally no reason, seemingly ignoring me. Yesterday evening we were chuckling at each other's quippy remarks. I sent her a really closed message (take it or leave it style - it didn't really need a response) at around lunch time today and I've not had a response. There was a 10 hour period where she hadn't signed into WhatsApp, but since she's come back on just before 7pm I haven't heard a peep. I did send a "What's up?" to bait a response with no implications but I'm still not getting anything.

Am I severely over-analysing this or is it normal for someone who thinks I'm adorable, cute and funny to just go cold outright?

So you sent her an ultimatum and expected an answer in less than 10 hours?

gg

And she may have been busy dude. People have lives.

 

[ameratsu]

So I've been dating this girl for the past month. We first went out on valentine's day, talked for a few hours, and really hit it off. We've been seeing each other a couple times a week since, usually staying over at each other's places after dinner/movie/drinks or whatever. I really like this rate of seeing each other, i feel like it balances my desire to do things independently with wanting to see her and have fun. A few days after we first had sex, I made a point of talking to her and asking if she was happy with our dating arrangement, and she said she was, adding that we should be sexually exclusive. This is all great.

She recently mentioned that she had a new opportunity came up for a permanent position in another city, about 3 hours away. She was lamenting the fact that she had just moved here a few months ago and didn't want to be so far away from her new colleagues, friends, and me. I told her to apply for the job and hope she gets it; it's in a fantastic city that would be more suitable to her cultural tastes as well as being a big stepping stone for her career. I'm sure she realizes this too. It felt great encouraging her to do something awesome for herself, even if it meant I wouldn't get to date her anymore.

 

[Septimius]

Girl I've been getting on extremely well with through text is suddenly, for literally no reason, seemingly ignoring me. Yesterday evening we were chuckling at each other's quippy remarks. I sent her a really closed message (take it or leave it style - it didn't really need a response) at around lunch time today and I've not had a response. There was a 10 hour period where she hadn't signed into WhatsApp, but since she's come back on just before 7pm I haven't heard a peep. I did send a "What's up?" to bait a response with no implications but I'm still not getting anything.

Am I severely over-analysing this or is it normal for someone who thinks I'm adorable, cute and funny to just go cold outright?

We need to clear up what this "take it or leave it" thing was. If it was as it sounds, I don't get why you're surprised that that might scare her off.

So I've been dating this girl for the past month. We first went out on valentine's day, talked for a few hours, and really hit it off. We've been seeing each other a couple times a week since, usually staying over at each other's places after dinner/movie/drinks or whatever. I really like this rate of seeing each other, i feel like it balances my desire to do things independently with wanting to see her and have fun. A few days after we first had sex, I made a point of talking to her and asking if she was happy with our dating arrangement, and she said she was, adding that we should be sexually exclusive. This is all great.

She recently mentioned that she had a new opportunity came up for a permanent position in another city, about 3 hours away. She was lamenting the fact that she had just moved here a few months ago and didn't want to be so far away from her new colleagues, friends, and me. I told her to apply for the job and hope she gets it; it's in a fantastic city that would be more suitable to her cultural tastes as well as being a big stepping stone for her career. I'm sure she realizes this too. It felt great encouraging her to do something awesome for herself, even if it meant I wouldn't get to date her anymore.

That's pretty awesome, man.

 

[140.85]

MAN, I hate that annoying period between the first 3-5 dates where things go well/get intimate and the point where you both decide you're pretty much becoming a couple. It feels like relationship chicken. You never know how much to let on that you're interested in it becoming serious. I'm stuck in that hell right now. I shouldn't complain though since it's taken so long to find someone I'm genuinely happy with...

 

[Oblivion]

When she saw me today, she smiled and did small chat with me, with some teasing thrown in.

Did she tell you why she didn't return your call/text from the weekend?

 

[kittoo]

Did she tell you why she didn't return your call/text from the weekend?

No bro. I didn't bring it up either cause I didn't wanna seem as if I was thinking only about her lol

 

[iRAWRasaurus]

well she never me back haha O well. It doesnt really bother me, if I never attempted to talk to her, I would be in the same position. But I did attempt and its better then noting

 

[-ImaginaryInsider]

So this girl that liked me and made out with me, but then flaked, has started texting me again. Initially it was her being friendly, but she heard a rumor I was dating another girl and made it very obvious she was jealous. I ended up texting her the other day about a concert, she asked if I was going, and now we're both going in two weeks... that in turn led to a really fun and super flirty conversation, she ended up falling asleep, and she resumed the conversation first thing the next morning.

Question: I live 4 hours away, but I'm visiting a buddy in a few days, should I invite her for coffee while I'm there, or just hold off till the concert in two weeks?

 

[Horseticuffs]

So that lady I made a date with has been acting all flakey. First she was down with grabbing some breakfast some day, then she was all like wanting to go to dinner tonight when I was pretty clear that I just couldn't do that. I wasn't terribly into her from the sparse conversations to begin with but if there's one thing I know I want it's someone who can stick to a plan. Maybe I'm dodging a bullet with this one, Gaf, so I may just disengage.


As you all well know, though, Spring is the time of year when a dude in his thirties' thoughts turn to love and this other lady started messaging me out of the blue and she's totally rad. We're having all these awesome deep conversations about what we're looking for and philosophy and shit and it's really cool to talk to someone like this.This young lady I'm really going to try to get to know.

The other lady just seemed kind of like an empty vessel. When we'd talk she'd barely say anything and there just didn't seem to be much there. This new lady, though? She's a real pistol. It'll be cool if we can meet up soon.

It's just weird, you know? I'm not initiating any of this and honestly I've always thought I basically was completely undesirable in every single way and now like multiple women have expressed an interest and that's kinda fucked up and new to me.

 

[lepi]

So this girl that liked me and made out with me, but then flaked, has started texting me again. Initially it was her being friendly, but she heard a rumor I was dating another girl and made it very obvious she was jealous. I ended up texting her the other day about a concert, she asked if I was going, and now we're both going in two weeks... that in turn led to a really fun and super flirty conversation, she ended up falling asleep, and she resumed the conversation first thing the next morning.

Question: I live 4 hours away, but I'm visiting a buddy in a few days, should I invite her for coffee while I'm there, or just hold off till the concert in two weeks?

No coffee. If you're going to invite her out, let her know that you are doing something fun at a time and place that can eventually lead to sex.

If you can't do that, periodically build the sexual tension via text. Periodically, not every moment of every day or in 5 hour bursts. Do that till the concert.

Goodluck

 

[News Bot]

Had a weird experience on St. Patrick's Day. Went out to a bar with a couple of friends I rarely see, had a kickass lounge where we chilled. Lacking the money, I chose to just bring some weed. So I'm high and especially chilled out.

Among this group is a girl I've found rather attractive and cool since I met her, but I've only seen her a few times and spoken to her not so much, although the times we have were pretty nice. We laugh with each other a lot, stare at each other after pretty much every joke, etc. So as the night goes on, people start leaving until it's just me and two female friends, including that girl. The only remaining dude is off walking his girl elsewhere before coming back.

So me and the two female friends move to the outside area. This bar is cool to the point where they provide blankets to the people sitting outside. Shit gets comfy and we just chill and talk some more. Girl I like laughs at something, but I don't remember saying anything particularly funny. I think she's laughing *at* me, so briefly turn around and pretend to be looking where the other female friend went. All of a sudden, I feel her hand on my leg. "Ah, just brushed past my leg" is my first thought. Ten seconds of continuous rubbing later, not so much.

I attempt to return the favor, but my hand just lands on her fucking cigarette box in her pocket. I correct the mistake, and she moves her hand over mine, and I slide my fingers over her hand and wrist for a while until eventually she just grabs my hand and holds. The other two friends have returned, and the whole time, we don't speak. The guy friend is wasted and knows we're doing something under the blanket, but says nothing until later. Eventually once the other two are preoccupied, I just move in and whisper "You're extremely attractive" seductively (or what can pass as seductive with me) in her ear. Not my best but it was all I could think to do, kiss wouldn't have worked.

Guy friend asks me what happened and I tell him. He says to go for it and drop her a message later. We leave her at the bus station and she hugs all of us, then leaves. I regret not being able to do much else. Since then I've sent her a "hope you had a good night, don't have your number but was wondering if you'd like to go out together sometime?" message on Twitter (she doesn't use Facebook and I don't have her number, nor does the guy friend) but she hasn't been online, so now it's just a waiting game.


My pessimistic nature says that it didn't mean anything and she's not really interested / was just drunk Sorry for the long post!

 

[Septimius]

No coffee. If you're going to invite her out, let her know that you are doing something fun at a time and place that can eventually lead to sex.

If you can't do that, periodically build the sexual tension via text. Periodically, not every moment of every day or in 5 hour bursts. Do that till the concert.

Goodluck

Your posts in this thread seem to be rather categorical and near algorithmic. Reminds me a bit of Robert California in The Office. "Would you like a sexual or nature metaphor?" "Oh, god, nature!" "You see, in nature, everything is about sex". If this guy wants to build rapport with this girl and not just get in her pants, coffee could be an excellent thing. Going for sex now can end up making the situation later more awkward.

 

[KlotePino]

So this girl that liked me and made out with me, but then flaked, has started texting me again. Initially it was her being friendly, but she heard a rumor I was dating another girl and made it very obvious she was jealous. I ended up texting her the other day about a concert, she asked if I was going, and now we're both going in two weeks... that in turn led to a really fun and super flirty conversation, she ended up falling asleep, and she resumed the conversation first thing the next morning.

Question: I live 4 hours away, but I'm visiting a buddy in a few days, should I invite her for coffee while I'm there, or just hold off till the concert in two weeks?

If your texting is solid I think it might be better to wait because it can build up tension. Personally I'd go have some coffee because I'm just more confident in real conversations and it might give you some more stuff to text about afterwards.

St. Patrick's day story

Man, I was reading this thinking you had it in the pocket. I think you really should've either gotten her number and getting a kiss in, why didn't either of these things happen? It can happen that the situation doesn't seem right but her rubbing your legs is basically as sure of a sign as you can get IMO.

 

[News Bot]

Man, I was reading this thinking you had it in the pocket. I think you really should've either gotten her number and getting a kiss in, why didn't either of these things happen? It can happen that the situation doesn't seem right but her rubbing your legs is basically as sure of a sign as you can get IMO.

Friends were in the way, basically. The female friend kept talking to her, and the guy friend just kept talking to both of us with inane stuff. If we were alone I'd have definitely moved in for a kiss.

I never got the chance to ask for her number either. As soon as we were leaving the female friend basically seized her and walk-and-talked her the whole way to the bus station. Probably should've done it when she hugged, but oh well

 

[Septimius]

Had a weird experience on St. Patrick's Day. Went out to a bar with a couple of friends I rarely see, had a kickass lounge where we chilled. Lacking the money, I chose to just bring some weed. So I'm high and especially chilled out.

Among this group is a girl I've found rather attractive and cool since I met her, but I've only seen her a few times and spoken to her not so much, although the times we have were pretty nice. We laugh with each other a lot, stare at each other after pretty much every joke, etc. So as the night goes on, people start leaving until it's just me and two female friends, including that girl. The only remaining dude is off walking his girl elsewhere before coming back.

So me and the two female friends move to the outside area. This bar is cool to the point where they provide blankets to the people sitting outside. Shit gets comfy and we just chill and talk some more. Girl I like laughs at something, but I don't remember saying anything particularly funny. I think she's laughing *at* me, so briefly turn around and pretend to be looking where the other female friend went. All of a sudden, I feel her hand on my leg. "Ah, just brushed past my leg" is my first thought. Ten seconds of continuous rubbing later, not so much.

I attempt to return the favor, but my hand just lands on her fucking cigarette box in her pocket. I correct the mistake, and she moves her hand over mine, and I slide my fingers over her hand and wrist for a while until eventually she just grabs my hand and holds. The other two friends have returned, and the whole time, we don't speak. The guy friend is wasted and knows we're doing something under the blanket, but says nothing until later. Eventually once the other two are preoccupied, I just move in and whisper "You're extremely attractive" seductively (or what can pass as seductive with me) in her ear. Not my best but it was all I could think to do, kiss wouldn't have worked.

Guy friend asks me what happened and I tell him. He says to go for it and drop her a message later. We leave her at the bus station and she hugs all of us, then leaves. I regret not being able to do much else. Since then I've sent her a "hope you had a good night, don't have your number but was wondering if you'd like to go out together sometime?" message on Twitter (she doesn't use Facebook and I don't have her number, nor does the guy friend) but she hasn't been online, so now it's just a waiting game.


My pessimistic nature says that it didn't mean anything and she's not really interested / was just drunk Sorry for the long post!

Shit happens. I didn't get a clear picture of what happened under the blanket, but it sounds like nothing to be sad about, at least. Sometimes circumstances don't allow us to do what we want. Just let this one slide, for now. You dropped her a message, she'll contact you if she wants to. If she doesn't, that doesn't mean nothing can ever happen. It just means it'll probably require running into her again. It's just one of those situations where all's well in the moment, then the parties retreat, and both are left analyzing it. So, you handled the situation well. There's nothing more you could've done without crossing some lines, so there's nothing to lament, here.

It's just the way it goes, sometimes.

 

[kittoo]

Sorry for ranting and posting again, but God this is confusing. I see clear signs of interest and yet I also see her showing clear signs of having little interest in me. I have caught her catching glances at me, she teases me, laughs crazily at my jokes and what not. And yet she also cancels movie with me, talks about her boyfriend (yeah, she has a bf ) with me and what not. What to believe?
I, though, have eased up a little. I didn't initiate talks or anything with her today, spent my day having fun at work on my own and everything. I will keep this up for a while. I hope there is some positive reaction from her.
I wanna say sorry to those who were following my posts and have read previous posts of mine on the same affair, as this post is not much of an update, but I posted because I clearly saw her catching glances at me today and yet in the evening, when we were returning from office, she talked a little about her bf (and as far as my understanding goes, if she is interested in me, she wouldnt bring up her bf at all).

 

[Septimius]

Sorry for ranting and posting again, but God this is confusing. I see clear signs of interest and yet I also see her showing clear signs of having little interest in me. I have caught her catching glances at me, she teases me, laughs crazily at my jokes and what not. And yet she also cancels movie with me, talks about her boyfriend (yeah, she has a bf ) with me and what not. What to believe?
I, though, have eased up a little. I didn't initiate talks or anything with her today, spent my day having fun at work on my own and everything. I will keep this up for a while. I hope there is some positive reaction from her.
I wanna say sorry to those who were following my posts and have read previous posts of mine on the same affair, as this post is not much of an update, but I posted because I clearly saw her catching glances at me today and yet in the evening, when we were returning from office, she talked a little about her bf (and as far as my understanding goes, if she is interested in me, she wouldnt bring up her bf at all).

Erp. The boyfriend is kind of a huge deal in this situation. Well, she's been interested in you, or she's siphoned good energy off of you because something isn't the way she wishes with her boyfriend. Either way, they're not great signs. But, the fact that you're approaching a zone of danger with those things, you're acting inappropriately. You're essentially calling up a girl you get along with at work during a weekend. I'm not going to say that you've read the signals wrong, here. But she might've been conflicted, but she isn't, anymore. She's turned down your advances. If this was a single girl, I would've told you to ease off and see if she came around, but this is a girl who has a boyfriend. There's no reason for you to deliberately try to fuck that up. If she finds you a better match, that's an honest thing. But I find it highly inappropriate to keep pushing advances when she's rejected them when she has a boyfriend.

Also, what's another name for a zone of danger?

Spoiler

DAYNGA ZONE!

Spoiler

But seriously. Time to realize that this is a girl you get along with well at work and that that's about it

 

[stn]

Maybe I'm just too strict but I ALWAYS scoff at girls who hit on me while they're already in relationships. Here's how I see it: They like me because something is bad in their relationship (ex. abuse). Okay, but then I'd expect them to break it off first and THEN pursue me. Or they want attention, which I don't find attractive at all. Either way, I'd feel like either I or the unknowing boyfriend was being used. I refuse girls who do this just out of principle.

Find someone single, kittoo.

 

[Minamu]

Dreamt about a childhood crush today :lol I was infatuated from the moment I saw her at five years old and continued to be on and off for probably fifteen years :/ Not sure why my dreams are like this but today was the first time I've "kissed" her. I've had literally zero wet dreams in my life and when dreams turn sexual, they end and wake me just before things go explicit. I've never seen anything hardcore in my sleep, it's just been suggested. Weird huh?

 

[bjb]

Sorry for ranting and posting again, but God this is confusing. I see clear signs of interest and yet I also see her showing clear signs of having little interest in me. I have caught her catching glances at me, she teases me, laughs crazily at my jokes and what not. And yet she also cancels movie with me, talks about her boyfriend (yeah, she has a bf ) with me and what not. What to believe?
I, though, have eased up a little. I didn't initiate talks or anything with her today, spent my day having fun at work on my own and everything. I will keep this up for a while. I hope there is some positive reaction from her.
I wanna say sorry to those who were following my posts and have read previous posts of mine on the same affair, as this post is not much of an update, but I posted because I clearly saw her catching glances at me today and yet in the evening, when we were returning from office, she talked a little about her bf (and as far as my understanding goes, if she is interested in me, she wouldnt bring up her bf at all).

Why are you hung up on pursuing a girl that has a boyfriend?. That makes you a dirtbag. Move on.

 

[electricshake]

Sorry for ranting and posting again, but God this is confusing. I see clear signs of interest and yet I also see her showing clear signs of having little interest in me. I have caught her catching glances at me, she teases me, laughs crazily at my jokes and what not. And yet she also cancels movie with me, talks about her boyfriend (yeah, she has a bf ) with me and what not. What to believe?
I, though, have eased up a little. I didn't initiate talks or anything with her today, spent my day having fun at work on my own and everything. I will keep this up for a while. I hope there is some positive reaction from her.
I wanna say sorry to those who were following my posts and have read previous posts of mine on the same affair, as this post is not much of an update, but I posted because I clearly saw her catching glances at me today and yet in the evening, when we were returning from office, she talked a little about her bf (and as far as my understanding goes, if she is interested in me, she wouldnt bring up her bf at all).

I wouldn't say any of those were necessarily clear signs of interest, they just sound like a light bit of flirting which plenty of people do without it meaning anything.

And she has a boyfriend so why are you pursuing her? That's a total dick move on your part. How would you feel if you had a girlfriend and guys kept trying it on?

 

[TOP SHOTTA]

Is this a thread where I can talk about the previous night's activities or conquests or am I missing the point or would be banned?
Because seriously I have nowhere else to do it (and I am 100% serious) and last night went real fucking well.

 

[Septimius]

Maybe I'm just too strict but I ALWAYS scoff at girls who hit on me while they're already in relationships. Here's how I see it: They like me because something is bad in their relationship (ex. abuse). Okay, but then I'd expect them to break it off first and THEN pursue me. Or they want attention, which I don't find attractive at all. Either way, I'd feel like either I or the unknowing boyfriend was being used. I refuse girls who do this just out of principle.

Find someone single, kittoo.

I agree. Those of you who's read what I've written earlier, also know why I'm in a position to say that even if you end up stealing her away from some moron of a boyfriend, and you're the best boyfriend ever, there's still the fact that she can do that, and that's what leads you into the daynga zone. I've swept a girl off her feet, while she was in a relationship. I won't ever do that again. Not because I care about the boyfriend, but because I care about myself.

And also, don't be a dick to this boyfriend, who's done nothing wrong to your knowledge.

Is this a thread where I can talk about the previous night's activities or conquests or am I missing the point or would be banned?
Because seriously I have nowhere else to do it (and I am 100% serious) and last night went real fucking well.

That's exactly what this thread is for. We're all ears!

 

[WriterGK]

The force is strong in this one. Hangout, have fun, hook up.

Thnx bro. I am not sure what you mean with hook up because I found on google, very different explanations. But thnx
A lot people say it means sex others say it just means hanging out...

 

[TOP SHOTTA]

I agree. Those of you who's read what I've written earlier, also know why I'm in a position to say that even if you end up stealing her away from some moron of a boyfriend, and you're the best boyfriend ever, there's still the fact that she can do that, and that's what leads you into the daynga zone. I've swept a girl off her feet, while she was in a relationship. I won't ever do that again. Not because I care about the boyfriend, but because I care about myself.

And also, don't be a dick to this boyfriend, who's done nothing wrong to your knowledge.



That's exactly what this thread is for. We're all ears!

Ok thank you boss.

So I am recently divorced and immediately following that, got my heart broken by a girl that I could have been with for a long, long time. So, my fucking luck - very next post-divorce relationship ended after I learned that she had cheated on me. I felt, and feel, like a piece of shit.

So to make myself feel better I put up a sincere ad on Craigslist last week and got decent responses. And a bunch of monsters. I didn't post it in FWB/NSA/Casual - I posted in the more legitimate relationship area, but indicated that was what I was after. She responded somewhat tentatively because she didn't think I would like her because she didn't think I would go for her. Nope, I liked her. She looked like a cross between Jennifer Connelly and that fire-starting witch from this season's American Horror Story, Alexandra Breckenridge. We texted a bunch for 6 days, exchanged a lot of pictures. Agreed to meet last night. I got us a nice room, met her in the lobby and got her dinner, a couple drinks. I was really on, majorly charming her. I could tell she liked me. I took her up to my room and had sex within 15 min of getting in the room. Then had sex about 6 more times from about 9 until 1am. Not to completion 2 of the times but to completion four of those times.

She said things to me that couldn't come at a better time, with my destroyed soul and ego. She told me, really conversationally without me asking for specific feedback, that I was big, I filled her up, pressed her cervix in the right way and that I was awesome. I told her that was like... incredible to hear and that I felt lucky to hear her words and I told her so. As a form vs function thing, I made love to her a couple of those times, not just 'hard core pound fuckin'. She said I talked to her in a way that makes her melt and asked me if I just treat all women a certain way or if I really liked her because she said I felt amazing and she felt comfortable with me. The answer is that yes that is how I treat women I sleep with but she was very direct with her feedback and I loved it. I don't know if she is girlfriend material yet, but she was awesome. My abs are sore today and I am kind of riding this high big time... I told her that I care more about frequency than variety and that is mostly true. I didn't fall in love but I really liked this one.

 

[etrain911]

The force is strong in this one. Hangout, have fun, hook up.

Coach Corey Wayne has another follower? My man!

Edit: But, as others have noted, sex isn't the endgame. The endgame is to hang out and have fun with someone who has similar goals and values as you do. You don't worry about the future or about labels or whether or not they'll pick you for a relationship. That doesn't matter, what matters is what you can add to every interaction by being the awesome and amazing catch that you know you can be and that you know you are. It's about respecting yourself and knowing "hey, if this doesn't work out, there's another bus every 15 minutes, and the destination might be more wonderful than where this one is leading". It's presupposing that in the end everything will work out the way it should because you are awesome and it's your birthright to have an awesome somebody to spend your time with. The initial dance is more a matter of not turning off the other person by being needy or clingy by giving them the space and the time to wonder about you and to think about you.

 

[Deleted member 47027]

Sorry for ranting and posting again, but God this is confusing. I see clear signs of interest and yet I also see her showing clear signs of having little interest in me. I have caught her catching glances at me, she teases me, laughs crazily at my jokes and what not. And yet she also cancels movie with me, talks about her boyfriend (yeah, she has a bf ) with me and what not. What to believe?
I, though, have eased up a little. I didn't initiate talks or anything with her today, spent my day having fun at work on my own and everything. I will keep this up for a while. I hope there is some positive reaction from her.
I wanna say sorry to those who were following my posts and have read previous posts of mine on the same affair, as this post is not much of an update, but I posted because I clearly saw her catching glances at me today and yet in the evening, when we were returning from office, she talked a little about her bf (and as far as my understanding goes, if she is interested in me, she wouldnt bring up her bf at all).

Like everyone else says, drop it.

 

[PflargBlarg]

No coffee. If you're going to invite her out, let her know that you are doing something fun at a time and place that can eventually lead to sex.

If you can't do that, periodically build the sexual tension via text. Periodically, not every moment of every day or in 5 hour bursts. Do that till the concert.

Goodluck

I'm not going to categorically say it's a bad thing, but you have an odd obsession with sex being the endgame of everything. Every single post you have made is some 'strategizing' about trying to make a meeting end in sex with a very pua vibe. Sex is great and all, but this is the dating/relationships thread, not the sexual conquests thread.

 

[kittoo]

Like everyone else says, drop it.

Erp. The boyfriend is kind of a huge deal in this situation. Well, she's been interested in you, or she's siphoned good energy off of you because something isn't the way she wishes with her boyfriend. Either way, they're not great signs. But, the fact that you're approaching a zone of danger with those things, you're acting inappropriately. You're essentially calling up a girl you get along with at work during a weekend. I'm not going to say that you've read the signals wrong, here. But she might've been conflicted, but she isn't, anymore. She's turned down your advances. If this was a single girl, I would've told you to ease off and see if she came around, but this is a girl who has a boyfriend. There's no reason for you to deliberately try to fuck that up. If she finds you a better match, that's an honest thing. But I find it highly inappropriate to keep pushing advances when she's rejected them when she has a boyfriend.

Also, what's another name for a zone of danger?

Spoiler

DAYNGA ZONE!

Spoiler

But seriously. Time to realize that this is a girl you get along with well at work and that that's about it

Why are you hung up on pursuing a girl that has a boyfriend?. That makes you a dirtbag. Move on.

I wouldn't say any of those were necessarily clear signs of interest, they just sound like a light bit of flirting which plenty of people do without it meaning anything.

And she has a boyfriend so why are you pursuing her? That's a total dick move on your part. How would you feel if you had a girlfriend and guys kept trying it on?

Hmm. I never thought it from BF's perspective. Weird, but true! He rarely entered my mind. But now I kinda feel a dick. Nonetheless, no serious harm done yet. Backing off. Thanks guys

 

[Septimius]

Ok thank you boss.

So I am recently divorced and immediately following that, got my heart broken by a girl that I could have been with for a long, long time. So, my fucking luck - very next post-divorce relationship ended after I learned that she had cheated on me. I felt, and feel, like a piece of shit.

So to make myself feel better I put up a sincere ad on Craigslist last week and got decent responses. And a bunch of monsters. I didn't post it in FWB/NSA/Casual - I posted in the more legitimate relationship area, but indicated that was what I was after. She responded somewhat tentatively because she didn't think I would like her because she didn't think I would go for her. Nope, I liked her. She looked like a cross between Jennifer Connelly and that fire-starting witch from this season's American Horror Story, Alexandra Breckenridge. We texted a bunch for 6 days, exchanged a lot of pictures. Agreed to meet last night. I got us a nice room, met her in the lobby and got her dinner, a couple drinks. I was really on, majorly charming her. I could tell she liked me. I took her up to my room and had sex within 15 min of getting in the room. Then had sex about 6 more times from about 9 until 1am. Not to completion 2 of the times but to completion four of those times.

She said things to me that couldn't come at a better time, with my destroyed soul and ego. She told me, really conversationally without me asking for specific feedback, that I was big, I filled her up, pressed her cervix in the right way and that I was awesome. I told her that was like... incredible to hear and that I felt lucky to hear her words and I told her so. As a form vs function thing, I made love to her a couple of those times, not just 'hard core pound fuckin'. She said I talked to her in a way that makes her melt and asked me if I just treat all women a certain way or if I really liked her because she said I felt amazing and she felt comfortable with me. The answer is that yes that is how I treat women I sleep with but she was very direct with her feedback and I loved it. I don't know if she is girlfriend material yet, but she was awesome. My abs are sore today and I am kind of riding this high big time... I told her that I care more about frequency than variety and that is mostly true. I didn't fall in love but I really liked this one.

That sounds amazing, man! Happy to hear that you're receiving some good fortune after the hardships you've endured. Sad to hear about the stuff you went through.

Ride that high. You deserve it.

 

[Revoh]

So a girl I'm going out with for a few weeks now finally said "I love you" ("te quiero" en español) to me yesterday. I said it first a few days earlier. Don't get me wrong, it felt good but now that I heard it I feel something got lost with it. We get along superbly, she is amazing, cute and knows what to do in bed but... I kinda feel different about her now, like, I was more interested in her when I was constantly trying to get her to say it and now that she did I feel... Meh. Is this normal?

 

[depths20XX]

A few weeks and she "finally" said she loves you? Not to sound rude but you seem pretty young. A few weeks is a short time...

 

[NeOak]

So a girl I'm going out with for a few weeks now finally said "I love you" ("te quiero" en español) to me yesterday. I said it first a few days earlier. Don't get me wrong, it felt good but now that I heard it I feel something got lost with it. We get along superbly, she is amazing, cute and knows what to do in bed but... I kinda feel different about her now, like, I was more interested in her when I was constantly trying to get her to say it and now that she did I feel... Meh. Is this normal?

Sometimes. You got way too hyped lol.

 

[Flying Toaster]

So a girl I'm going out with for a few weeks now finally said "I love you" ("te quiero" en español) to me yesterday. I said it first a few days earlier. Don't get me wrong, it felt good but now that I heard it I feel something got lost with it. We get along superbly, she is amazing, cute and knows what to do in bed but... I kinda feel different about her now, like, I was more interested in her when I was constantly trying to get her to say it and now that she did I feel... Meh. Is this normal?

Do you feel that you put all your eggs in one basket when you told her. Kinda hyped telling her how you feel and when you did not get the desired response back unintentionally distanced yourself emotionally from her?

I honestly hate the word love and to use it in a statement expressing ones feelings towards another always seems like a sticky situation to me. It took me a few months after my wife told me that she loved me that I actually used the phrase myself.

Don't try to read so much into it, enjoy your time with her and base your reactions to the experiences and time you share together as a judgment on whether it is ultimately different or not.

 

[Brazil]

So a girl I'm going out with for a few weeks now finally said "I love you" ("te quiero" en español) to me yesterday. I said it first a few days earlier. Don't get me wrong, it felt good but now that I heard it I feel something got lost with it. We get along superbly, she is amazing, cute and knows what to do in bed but... I kinda feel different about her now, like, I was more interested in her when I was constantly trying to get her to say it and now that she did I feel... Meh. Is this normal?

It happens. It's shitty, but it happens.

Sometimes you just want the challenge.

Don't push yourself to do anything beyond what you're feeling up to. Seriously. This is a clear sign that you don't like her that much. You may still enjoy your time with her, but... Be careful.

 

[Revoh]

Sometimes. You got way too hyped lol.

A few weeks and she "finally" said she loves you? Not to sound rude but you seem pretty young. A few weeks is a short time...

Well, I know her for like a year, we used to work together, but just recently started going out with her, and yes, I think I blow it too fast. I got a thing for her for a long time.

Do you feel that you put all your eggs in one basket when you told her. Kinda hyped telling her how you feel and when you did not get the desired response back unintentionally distanced yourself emotionally from her?

I honestly hate the word love and to use it in a statement expressing ones feelings towards another always seems like a sticky situation to me. It took me a few months after my wife told me that she loved me that I actually used the phrase myself.

Don't try to read so much into it, enjoy your time with her and base your reactions to the experiences and time you share together as a judgment on whether it is ultimately different or not.

Nah, it was pretty regular the way I told her, didn't overhyped it. And when I didn't get the response I wanted I didn't feel bad or anything, I kept pushing (with actions).
It's also the first time I say it first, but, she's a special girl, what can I say.

It happens. It's shitty, but it happens.

Sometimes you just want the challenge.

Don't push yourself to do anything beyond what you're feeling up to. Seriously. This is a clear sign that you don't like her that much. You may still enjoy your time with her, but... Be careful.

Yes, that's what I thought.

Thanks guys for your opinions

 

[lepi]

Coach Corey Wayne has another follower? My man!

Edit: But, as others have noted, sex isn't the endgame. The endgame is to hang out and have fun with someone who has similar goals and values as you do. You don't worry about the future or about labels or whether or not they'll pick you for a relationship. That doesn't matter, what matters is what you can add to every interaction by being the awesome and amazing catch that you know you can be and that you know you are. It's about respecting yourself and knowing "hey, if this doesn't work out, there's another bus every 15 minutes, and the destination might be more wonderful than where this one is leading". It's presupposing that in the end everything will work out the way it should because you are awesome and it's your birthright to have an awesome somebody to spend your time with. The initial dance is more a matter of not turning off the other person by being needy or clingy by giving them the space and the time to wonder about you and to think about you.

Hey,

Well the coach knows his stuff and so do I! It seems you know a thing or two as well.

And to every one else, well you're right, I was taking an approach as sex is the end game, not everyone wants a pure sexual experience with a woman or a man. Everyone has different goals and experiences and desires for their interactions with other people. I just assumed people wanted to have sex. I've got plenty to share to help people increase their chances of lets just say having successful interactions with people. I've tried my hand at just about everything when it comes to interpersonal communications to put things mildly. Anyway, love this thread, I only want to improve the quality of it and the people in it, so keep up the feedback!

Ps: My post formatting is probably pretty shocking, I'm learning the ropes around here.

Thnx bro. I am not sure what you mean with hook up because I found on google, very different explanations. But thnx
A lot people say it means sex others say it just means hanging out...

Well, generally, in my experience, what you necessarily do, changes with the woman. There are guidelines per se, yet you have to be flexible. The fundamental element of the whole "hooking up" is that you are illiciting the most intense emotional response you can infused with a strong sexual influence. Sometimes, for, the younger age brackets, just a pash is all you need to your favorite band, for others, they require a hookup to mean unadulterated sex. There really isn't any need to get hung up on definitions and semantics, but rather, ensuring that the times you have are good and that she has time to let those feelings sink in.

Peace!

 

[Tsukumo]

Getting the first indications from the GF that things may be moving too fast

[cut]

Seems like pretty much the typical up and down of any relationship. You said yourself you've been pretty much inseparable. It's normal that one of you would take a bit of a break. Honestly, you also sounded a bit fatigued by the "rhythm" of it. I wouldn't read too much into it.

Girl I've been getting on extremely well with through text is suddenly, for literally no reason, seemingly ignoring me.

[cut]

Surprised to read this. You were way more into your last girlfriend than this one, and in that case you were doing exactly the opposite, meaning you kept giving her too much room to breathe. My impression is that you are kind of speeding things up too quickly as if 1- you are literally trying to sabotage yourself 2- you are in need of another relationship and being pushy.
Once you set yourself on truly be with the jewish girl, you did became relentless but not like this: it was more like... in a confident way.
A while ago when I told you "I don't know what you did to get this girl so worked up" I wasn't taking shots at you: what I meant was (and it was my fault for not making it clear at the time) that you probably have good instincts and that I was curious to know more about how you got from meeting her to getting her so excited for you.
I don't know you well enough to suggest ways to tackle properly your current state of mind, but man, read back the post you wrote about the dates you had with the jewish girl and I guarantee you you won't recognize yourself.
Find something to balance yourself, like physical activity, a brief trip with the car, beer, whatever: I get that the relationship with the other girl was intense, but the behaviour you are showing now will pile up to the point where you will push yourself into true depression.

Dreamt about a childhood crush today :lol I was infatuated from the moment I saw her at five years old and continued to be on and off for probably fifteen years :/ Not sure why my dreams are like this but today was the first time I've "kissed" her. I've had literally zero wet dreams in my life and when dreams turn sexual, they end and wake me just before things go explicit. I've never seen anything hardcore in my sleep, it's just been suggested. Weird huh?

giving the recent developments in your relationship, I'm positive there is a connection between the girl you are seeing now and this childhood crush. Your head is trying to tell you something.
Sorry for this Dr. Phil moment XD

Coach Corey Wayne has another follower? My man!

Saw some videos.
He knows his trade but I didn't find much difference with the usual mantras of the pick-up community. Not to say he does something wrong, it's just that I expected something more oriented towards polyamory and multiple dating (or whatever it's called now XD).
I like the fact that he calls his... service, Understanding relationships: the guy is smart ;D

 

[hydrophilic attack]

Talk me out of this.

A girl at my University who I think has a boyfriend has been hitting on me pretty hard.

She is so beautiful.

She has never mentioned her boyfriend when we have talked. I tried to ask her about him a while back in a discreet way (and failed miserably) and she seemed embarrassed and didn't really give me an answer. There was an awkward silence until she switched the subject.

I'm pretty sure I'm not imagining things. The flirting is so obvious that my friends have picked up on it and commented on it. But would she really go about flirting publicly in such an obvious way if she already has a boyfriend?

It could also be due to her being from another culture. Maybe where she is from, what she is doing which we interpret as flirting, is just a way of being friendly. It should be mentioned that due to the language barrier, she doesn't have a lot of friends who are not from her country. She said to me I'm pretty much the only one who hasn't given up on speaking with her because of her broken English. Maybe she just wants to become friends with someone not from her country?

Since I'm pretty sure she has a boyfriend I should really be staying away. But she is so beautiful. If she comes onto me really hard I don't think I would be able to resist.

Oh, and we will keep going to the same building at the University for another three years at least, so if we try something and it fails it may be really awkward.

Yeah, I already know the answer.

 

[lepi]

Talk me out of this.

A girl at my University who I think has a boyfriend has been hitting on me pretty hard.

She is so beautiful.

She has never mentioned her boyfriend when we have talked. I tried to ask her about him a while back in a discreet way (and failed miserably) and she seemed embarrassed and didn't really give me an answer. There was an awkward silence until she switched the subject.

I'm pretty sure I'm not imagining things. The flirting is so obvious that my friends have picked up on it and commented on it. But would she really go about flirting publicly in such an obvious way if she already has a boyfriend?

It could also be due to her being from another culture. Maybe where she is from, what she is doing which we interpret as flirting, is just a way of being friendly. It should be mentioned that due to the language barrier, she doesn't have a lot of friends who are not from her country. She said to me I'm pretty much the only one who hasn't given up on speaking with her because of her broken English. Maybe she just wants to become friends with someone not from her country?

Since I'm pretty sure she has a boyfriend I should really be staying away. But she is so beautiful. If she comes onto me really hard I don't think I would be able to resist.

Oh, and we will keep going to the same building at the University for another three years at least, so if we try something and it fails it may be really awkward.

Yeah, I already know the answer.

Well before I get flamed for promoting sex outcome strategies, what exactly do you want here again?

 

[Makki]

So a girl I'm going out with for a few weeks now finally said "I love you" ("te quiero" en español) to me yesterday. I said it first a few days earlier. Don't get me wrong, it felt good but now that I heard it I feel something got lost with it. We get along superbly, she is amazing, cute and knows what to do in bed but... I kinda feel different about her now, like, I was more interested in her when I was constantly trying to get her to say it and now that she did I feel... Meh. Is this normal?

I love you is "te amo", "te quiero" is kind of a mid tier between I like you and I love you, at least where I grew up at.

 

[Flying Toaster]

Talk me out of this.

A girl at my University who I think has a boyfriend has been hitting on me pretty hard.

She is so beautiful.

She has never mentioned her boyfriend when we have talked. I tried to ask her about him a while back in a discreet way (and failed miserably) and she seemed embarrassed and didn't really give me an answer. There was an awkward silence until she switched the subject.

I'm pretty sure I'm not imagining things. The flirting is so obvious that my friends have picked up on it and commented on it. But would she really go about flirting publicly in such an obvious way if she already has a boyfriend?

It could also be due to her being from another culture. Maybe where she is from, what she is doing which we interpret as flirting, is just a way of being friendly. It should be mentioned that due to the language barrier, she doesn't have a lot of friends who are not from her country. She said to me I'm pretty much the only one who hasn't given up on speaking with her because of her broken English. Maybe she just wants to become friends with someone not from her country?

Since I'm pretty sure she has a boyfriend I should really be staying away. But she is so beautiful. If she comes onto me really hard I don't think I would be able to resist.

Oh, and we will keep going to the same building at the University for another three years at least, so if we try something and it fails it may be really awkward.

Yeah, I already know the answer.

Seriously find out if she has a boyfriend. If not your gold, if so tread with caution. No reason to kick her to the curb if she has one you just need to know what the boundaries are... No boyfriend, lots of flirting then go all in.

 

[hydrophilic attack]

Well before I get flamed for promoting sex outcome strategies, what exactly do you want here again?

Well, to start with, I want to do things with her body.

I'm not sure whether we would be compatible in a relationship. Our conversations are usually rather awkward, but mostly because of the language problem I think. But sort of awkward in a good way, if that makes sense. Hugh Grant awkward, rather than Ricky Gervais awkward.

 

[Flying Toaster]

Well, to start with, I want to do things with her body.

I'm not sure whether we would be compatible in a relationship. Our conversations are usually rather awkward, but mostly because of the language problem I think. But sort of awkward in a good way, if that makes sense. Hugh Grant awkward, rather than Ricky Gervais awkward.

Well wanting to do things to a persons body does help things along in a possible relationship. Contrary to popular belief looks matter a lot.

You will only know if your compatible in a relationship if you try that relationship out. No way of knowing till you try.

 

[Septimius]

Well, to start with, I want to do things with her body.

I'm not sure whether we would be compatible in a relationship. Our conversations are usually rather awkward, but mostly because of the language problem I think. But sort of awkward in a good way, if that makes sense. Hugh Grant awkward, rather than Ricky Gervais awkward.

That sounds like it would make for a tough relationship. If this was a girl you wanted to be with, then I know I'd be able to justify getting to know her better, even if she had a boyfriend. But I don't think I could morally defend pursuing a girl that has a boyfriend, especially given that it sounds like she's in an emotionally frail situation. Lepi seems to be on top of strategies and terminology used to tug on certain emotional responses of women. However, seen that what that would accomplish would be manipulating the game to have the outcome skew in your favor, when what you might be doing is clouding her better judgement for not doing such a thing since she has a boyfriend, I wouldn't go for such an approach.

If you think it's OK to move to sleep with a girl that has a boyfriend to merely sleep with her, then that's your prerogative. However, the best place to start is to figure out if she has a boyfriend. She might be the one cheating, but you'd be the one she cheats with.

lepi: What I've meant is that a categorical approach to situation where women are involved is ruining the fun of the game. Categorical advice much the same.

EDIT: Concordantly, there are tons of ways to play girls. There are tons of techniques I've read a ton about that actually work, but if you play by your arsenal, you forget to see the person. If you want a bag of meat you can hump, then that might be the way to go about it. But if you care about who's behind that, then you might see you're using the techniques on people in situations you can exploit. Looking at the situations, maybe it's nothing to take pride to that your push-pull ended up with you leaving with the girl that had just had a petty fight with her boyfriend over something trivial that she'll regret having fought about the next day, but has done something irrevocable she can never undo, nor that she might ever have done if it wasn't for your exploitations.

 

[bjb]

Well, to start with, I want to do things with her body.

I'm not sure whether we would be compatible in a relationship. Our conversations are usually rather awkward, but mostly because of the language problem I think. But sort of awkward in a good way, if that makes sense. Hugh Grant awkward, rather than Ricky Gervais awkward.

Another thirsty dude chasing some girl with boyfriend. DatingAGE has truly hit its stride.

 

[Megabyte117]

I love you is "te amo", "te quiero" is kind of a mid tier between I like you and I love you, at least where I grew up at.

It depends. Often the latter is reserved for use with family and friends, and the former is seen as having a more romantic connotation, especially with someone you feel exceptionally comfortable with.

 

[etrain911]

Saw some videos.
He knows his trade but I didn't find much difference with the usual mantras of the pick-up community. Not to say he does something wrong, it's just that I expected something more oriented towards polyamory and multiple dating (or whatever it's called now XD).
I like the fact that he calls his... service, Understanding relationships: the guy is smart ;D

I found him because he focuses on how to maintain and create relationships rather than the PUA one-night stand stuff. IlSome of what he has to say is horribly sexist, but a lot of it has worked for me in terms of getting dates and creating a world where I have options.

 

[bjb]

I found him because he focuses on how to maintain and create relationships rather than the PUA one-night stand stuff. IlSome of what he has to say is horribly sexist, but a lot of it has worked for me in terms of getting dates and creating a world where I have options.

He's a misogynistic prick who talks about 'training' women and making them do 70-80% of the 'chasing' for a 'healthy' relationship.

This thread really advocates that shit? Jesus christ...