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Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
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Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Same here. Unless it's just something short, like "thank you" or whatever, I can't hold a conversation with people worth shit.
I'm not sure if I'm in the right place or not.
I got hit with the PTSD, depression, and anxiety trifecta. That wasn't that bad but then I watched August Alsina's breakfast club interview and am now slightly scared because I see multiple similarities in terms of environment.
Doc keeps teling me to go on meds but I'm refusing because I don't want to get addicted. I figure if I've managed to go almost 19 years without treatment I'll be fine.
I got hit with the PTSD, depression, and anxiety trifecta. That wasn't that bad but then I watched August Alsina's breakfast club interview and am now slightly scared because I see multiple similarities in terms of environment.
Doc keeps teling me to go on meds but I'm refusing because I don't want to get addicted. I figure if I've managed to go almost 19 years without treatment I'll be fine.
LordOfChaos
Member
So I started on Welbutrin/Buproprion this week, I think 5 days ago. So far no major side effects, or main effects, which I'm taking as a good thing as I know it can take two or more weeks for the antidepressant side to start working, and on the other hand it means no upset stomach or headaches as a side effect. Well, slight upset stomach, but 5% of what it was with ritalin.
Anyone with experiences on it? I'm starting on 150mg with the usual target dose of 300 probably in two weeks.
Anyone with experiences on it? I'm starting on 150mg with the usual target dose of 300 probably in two weeks.
Collete
Member
Let me put it like this...
Depression, PTSD and anxiety disorders are in essence real illnesses.
A diabetic needs his insulin because of his condition, correct?
A cancer patient needs his medication to stave off his condition as well.
That said...depression and mostly everything you listed are illnesses. You treat it the same meaning you treat it as an illness. There's so many people thinking they don't need medication for depression when that's probably the worst thing you can possibly do and unnecessary pain and torture to yourself.
I would know...I'm 23 and without medication and gad damn, I wish I can have access to medication when I was younger to not screw up my life as I have now. As you get older, chances are, it gets worse without medication...Please go back to the doctor and don't make the same mistake as I have.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
This point out I'm drunk. I need this.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Death is the ultimate freedom from human emotion.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Plenty of people believe in the after life you know.
Anyway, grim notions of death aside, and there's plenty enough to think about when you are alive., I've come across some science that may be useful to our older members.
If you are old, apparently, surfing the web helps people fight depression.
I struggle with this so much.
There is so much distance between my ideal self and my current self.
LordOfChaos
Member
Week one on buproprion. Man, I want to copulate with every moderately attractive member of the opposite sex, really badly. Is this how most people feel all the time, I wonder? Holy.
Now, if only I had someone to mate with.
Now, if only I had someone to mate with.
Talk to me! I don't bite.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
2 things that help a lot are to remember to keep your chin up (not figuratively, but literally) and smile a little or at least actively try not to frown. Make eye contact when the other person is talking or you're talking, and try looking elsewhere when neither person is talking but one or both of you is doing something. If neither you nor the other person is talking or doing anything but waiting for something instead, then just bring up the weather or something. Or a restaurant. Or whatever!
Collete
Member
I really wish...I can bury my depression for good once and for all.
So no one knows I have it. So I won't be this disgusting creature.
But then I rupture...but....If i do talk it with anyone...everyone leaves eventually...no one stays...everyone I love and am interested walks away eventually and I twist their minds...
I want to try and never let it out again and take the burden on myself.
That's my goal.
So no one knows I have it. So I won't be this disgusting creature.
But then I rupture...but....If i do talk it with anyone...everyone leaves eventually...no one stays...everyone I love and am interested walks away eventually and I twist their minds...
I want to try and never let it out again and take the burden on myself.
That's my goal.
SolVanderlyn
Thanos acquires the fully powered Infinity Gauntlet in The Avengers: Infinity War, but loses when all the superheroes team up together to stop him.
As a perfectionist, I am going to say that this is very, very true. You don't have to be the best. You just have to be you.
Agent Cooper
Member
RPGCrazied
Member
I guess I consider myself mildly depressed? I can go months at a time and feel fine, but then there is that one dark day I just want to waste away and not care. I don't have any suicidal thoughts or anything like that.
I really don't feel like going to a doctor for this since I don't think its really a serious issue. I guess just deal with it. Life is life.
Maybe I need to get some fresh air a lot more often than I do now.
I really don't feel like going to a doctor for this since I don't think its really a serious issue. I guess just deal with it. Life is life.
Maybe I need to get some fresh air a lot more often than I do now.
Please, don't give up. There must be a way...
aawwwwwwww
Gonna ramble here, but I would hope someone reads what I'm saying and can give me a second opinion. I have seemed to only been able to rely on my own thoughts, so an alternate perspective would be helpful.
I am thinking of dropping out of college. The more I think about it, the more it feels like a means to an end. I feel I am in it not for my own interests, my own desires, but because the status quo of our culture has propped it up, saying one ought to go, that it will net me some sort of goodie I feel with every increasing day isn't even a goodie. I feel much of what I think about the world and the human situation of it all to be in opposition to what is often imposed in us culturally. I care little for what the degree "stands" for, as it stands mostly for paper, on the same level as toilet paper.
For someone such as myself, I am not interested in fortune or fame, as these are temporary things, but what I simply want is to give my time to others, particularly in a vocation or a volunteering scenario, and that's...really it. It is that simple, yet I find it so hard to imagine it happening, for we, as a culture, have failed. We value and push nonsense. And that leads me feeling confused, that either choice I make - to keep following the trail because I am told to follow the trail, or to blaze off of it - seems like both are failed decisions. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.
The point of life is to live fully now, in the present. We have a framework that pushes anything worthwhile to later, to tomorrow, so that one is trained to live for a later that seldom arrives but never trained to fully taste this present moment. To me, life is best when it's about what you give, not what you get. In our world of vultures, always focused on motive and profit, what one gets, I know full well that I am not long for this world. I can't headbutt the stupidity away, so I know my life will be spent headbutting until my skull fractures and my brain bleeds. I just want to find an avenue to where I am living fully today and not living for a concept, a massive hypothetical that each and every passing day feels like a mirage. I would like to hear any opinion in response to my thoughts, even if it is not one that agrees with me. I grow bored of living, for the situation of life no longer seems optimal; there is no reason to bet on this horse - my life - if it's this boring, this tepid, and this wasteful. I can sincerely say I have no had genuine happiness in my life, and that is perhaps because I see I have lived a life for the future all of my life, and very rarely lived a life for today. I want to change this.
I am thinking of dropping out of college. The more I think about it, the more it feels like a means to an end. I feel I am in it not for my own interests, my own desires, but because the status quo of our culture has propped it up, saying one ought to go, that it will net me some sort of goodie I feel with every increasing day isn't even a goodie. I feel much of what I think about the world and the human situation of it all to be in opposition to what is often imposed in us culturally. I care little for what the degree "stands" for, as it stands mostly for paper, on the same level as toilet paper.
For someone such as myself, I am not interested in fortune or fame, as these are temporary things, but what I simply want is to give my time to others, particularly in a vocation or a volunteering scenario, and that's...really it. It is that simple, yet I find it so hard to imagine it happening, for we, as a culture, have failed. We value and push nonsense. And that leads me feeling confused, that either choice I make - to keep following the trail because I am told to follow the trail, or to blaze off of it - seems like both are failed decisions. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.
The point of life is to live fully now, in the present. We have a framework that pushes anything worthwhile to later, to tomorrow, so that one is trained to live for a later that seldom arrives but never trained to fully taste this present moment. To me, life is best when it's about what you give, not what you get. In our world of vultures, always focused on motive and profit, what one gets, I know full well that I am not long for this world. I can't headbutt the stupidity away, so I know my life will be spent headbutting until my skull fractures and my brain bleeds. I just want to find an avenue to where I am living fully today and not living for a concept, a massive hypothetical that each and every passing day feels like a mirage. I would like to hear any opinion in response to my thoughts, even if it is not one that agrees with me. I grow bored of living, for the situation of life no longer seems optimal; there is no reason to bet on this horse - my life - if it's this boring, this tepid, and this wasteful. I can sincerely say I have no had genuine happiness in my life, and that is perhaps because I see I have lived a life for the future all of my life, and very rarely lived a life for today. I want to change this.
Thanks for the reply. In the therapy sessions, they try to drum similar ideas into your head, to do things for the "therapeutic value" But it doesn't really work for me. If I've done something really small, the impact of doing it will be even smaller. It's the same reason why I rarely go out, until I have a variety of things I have to do. That way, all the various anxieties will almost be worth the pay off.
The main things that tend to motivate me is probably obligation, and dependency. Being needed for something, and having what I do genuinely being important, and worthwhile. Without that, I don't see the incentive sometimes. Just makes me think "What's the point? What difference will this even make?" and other such thoughts. I guess that line of thinking wouldn't be completely awful, maybe even a motivator if I was good enough at something to apply it to, but I'm not. I'm terrible at everything, with equally terrible motivators. It just feels like I'm constantly crashing into a brick wall, with nowhere to go.
MisterLuffy
Member
Can anyone help me with my java project? If anyone is free to help me, please PM me. It's due next week on Sunday, but I want to get started now. I know what my instructor is asking us to do, but I don't know how to go about it. I want to speak to my instructor, it's just I don't know how to ask him? I don't want to fail this project like my second one. I'm really desperate for a decent grade so I could get over 2.0 gpa so I can stay in the university. The class I'm taking is data structures just in case if anyone is asking.
If this isn't a metaphor, I don't know what is.
(and I absolutely don't know what is)
[need to read back a bit and catch up!]
RustyCassette
Neo Member
Just over two weeks on my antidepressants. I'm feeling a bit loopy if I have to concentrate on things, but I don't know how much that is related to the pills, and how much is just lack of practice.
I started a tumblr a while ago and have been trying to make a new post every day. It's just for me, it doesn't bother me that no-one else will see it, I just need to do new things.
I started a tumblr a while ago and have been trying to make a new post every day. It's just for me, it doesn't bother me that no-one else will see it, I just need to do new things.
Collete
Member
I don't know if there is....I'm truly terrified of my friends and anyone I'm interested in knowing about it.
The few people I have let known about my condition well...one of them blocked me, and the rest just leave...
I'm tired of being alone...I just want to be normal...But no, I had to choose one of the hardest routes in life...And I keep getting interested in people I know I have no chance with....
How come?
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
I guess it depends on where you are and such. What's the harm in leaving them? Nothing, and many would argue is beneficial in case they do want to catch up at some point. But for me, I don't have many people to begin with so it's usually more a wall of failure or makes me sad thinking of all the people I lost touch with. So for me when I would do it, it was usually more consoling seeing a pretty empty list but people I was friends with, rather than a wall reminding me of people I lost. If you don't have that problem though, I don't see a reason to rush and delete people.
I know but it just doesn't work... I'm still struggling to figure it out but forcing it inside of you does nothing. You can think you're not letting it out but you are, I think that's the biggest thing I've realized over the years. You can't hide it, your body betrays you in that sense. You emotions are fake then, they don't feel right. They might not know it's depression but they still know that it's something, it still feels different. I thought things were fine when I used to do this but it wasn't and later in life having candid conversations with my friends, it was shocking how apparent that was. Maybe they didn't know it was depression but they knew something was wrong and I wasn't right like other people. Your mannerisms are different, you're different. I'm not saying this means you can't do this to some degree but rather just explaining it's naive to think "I'll just deal with this myself and the way people will view me will be a night and day difference". Maybe you'll have a short term difference but it's not some light switch you can flick. I don't know how yet but you have to find a way to fix the problem, burying it and hiding it just forces it to become uncovered again and potentially more devastating that it's more overwhelming than you've felt before. You have to keep search, finding ways to make your brain think things are ok. Be able to handle certain thoughts without it crushing you. It's a journey but doing what your suggestion isn't going to work out as you hope, at least not in my experience.
And I'm sorry it's sort of a downer post but I just don't want you to lift your expectations and then be let down... I don't have an answer, it's something I'm still navigating myself so I can only speak on what I've tried and if it worked. That hasn't worked and I think it's more devastating and soul sucking now after having done that then before. I can sympathize and I used the same rational, it was a bandaid fix at best. Best of luck though, I hope you feel better.
The people that have left you or blocked you, I wouldn't call them real friends. I just want to say that I'm going through a very important part of my life: Knowing who I really am and what I want from this life. All these months I have been having slow progress, but it's still something. The people I have trusted it with haven't left, or ignored me -- instead they're trying to help me.
"I had to choose one of the hardest routes in life," did you really choose it or did it just come by? I would like to think that it was just something that came by, and it could mean that you know that something is wrong with you. This happened to me, not sure if it's your case too, but I'm trying to change those things that I knew weren't doing me any good.
I can't exactly say that our cases are similar in all aspects, but at least I want you to know that I'm here if you need any help or just want to talk -- I will do my best if that's the case!
Don't give up.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Hehe this made me chuckle with the IRC talk we had before.
I am so stressed, anxious and depressed right now; It seems to have built up in my chest. Doesn't seem like my new medication has kicked in or isn't working. Waking up 3 hours early to go pee didn't help. >.<
MisterLuffy
Member
I can be such a bitch sometimes. I want to ask one of the students for help today on my third project, but didn't. I hate myself so much. My counselor told me to find something I like about myself. What is there to like about myself? I HATE MYSELF. I'm a dumbass. Why am I even here at college? I'm just salty because I'm not that close in finishing the third project. And if I fail this class, then I the probation would take effect. What will my family say? I'm frustrated right now.
I took too much methoxetamine last night and freaked out. My parents took me took the ER. Apparently I threw a remote across the room and told them I have having a panic attack. I just remember riding in the car with them being very confused. I came down a couple of hours later and felt like shit on the ride home with them.
I was doing well. I was finally about to get my CompTIA A+ certification and thought I should treat myself. I had been kicking the drugs. Now I fucked it all up.
I need to find some sort of hobby, something to pass the time. I've been wanting to take kickboxing classes for some time, but I am just afraid of everything. Meeting new people, being rejected. Maybe this incident will be the one that pushes me to do something. At least I hope so.
I was doing well. I was finally about to get my CompTIA A+ certification and thought I should treat myself. I had been kicking the drugs. Now I fucked it all up.
I need to find some sort of hobby, something to pass the time. I've been wanting to take kickboxing classes for some time, but I am just afraid of everything. Meeting new people, being rejected. Maybe this incident will be the one that pushes me to do something. At least I hope so.
Omegasquash
Member
I think, my anxiety and general issues are going to take a toll on my relationship, also my son seems to have inherited some of my Issues already and is only Seven
fuuuuuuuuuuuuck
Give him love and support. Understand that what he's going through is real and get him help while he's young. It WILL make a difference. You? You'll be doing the right thing simply by listening and being there. And don't let that shit get in the way of your relationship. It's REAL easy to not talk, or even to become dependent, but communication is key with an SO when you've got a few things nagging at you.
Collete
Member
I see...*Sigh*
I'm just really tired of myself though...And I try to handle it with writing and doing my art and trying to talk it out with others but...I don't know...I don't want to hurt anyone...especially new people I'm interested in...What if I hurt them too?...
It terrifies me...
My parents got hurt to the point they treat me like crap at times. I know they mean well but damn...they can be stubborn to forget I'm "sick".
The people that have left you or blocked you, I wouldn't call them real friends. I just want to say that I'm going through a very important part of my life: Knowing who I really am and what I want from this life. All these months I have been having slow progress, but it's still something. The people I have trusted it with haven't left, or ignored me -- instead they're trying to help me.
"I had to choose one of the hardest routes in life," did you really choose it or did it just come by? I would like to think that it was just something that came by, and it could mean that you know that something is wrong with you. This happened to me, not sure if it's your case too, but I'm trying to change those things that I knew weren't doing me any good.
I can't exactly say that our cases are similar in all aspects, but at least I want you to know that I'm here if you need any help or just want to talk -- I will do my best if that's the case!
Don't give up.
No....I did actually choose the life I'm going down right now. I'm going to be a Creative Writing major and be risky to try to find a way to self support myself or become a professor in a university. But it won't pay well and it'll take me a very long time to even support myself but...
I know I could not tolerate any STEM majors so I went with what my heart wanted. In the end it does seem foolish and I know it will take me a long time to go to the path I want and even achieve the goals...But it's something I just could not ignore in the depths of my heart, I knew I had to do this.
Also I read all of what you said in Keima's voice...Thanks for reminding me that "The World God Only Knows" is awesome lol.
MisterLuffy
Member
Why was I born stupid? I'm so frustrated right now. I need help on the project. I'm just going to face the facts that I'm not going to make it. My life will be dead on arrival.
Guys, I think a fellow Gaffer is having a manic episode and I don't know how to help him, he's not responding to my concern.
If any of you can pop in to the thread and help me out, I would really appreciate it. I'm scared the OP will put himself in danger.
http://http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=805011
I've been manic before and this is almost definitely it, and mania is a dangerous mistress. He could end up in the ICU.
If any of you can pop in to the thread and help me out, I would really appreciate it. I'm scared the OP will put himself in danger.
http://http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=805011
I've been manic before and this is almost definitely it, and mania is a dangerous mistress. He could end up in the ICU.
Welp, finally heard from the buddy who used to be my best friend, such as it is. He spent three pages explaining exactly why he no longer wants to be friends with me. That we had been drifting apart for a while, that he wasn't equipped to deal with my extreme mood swings and physical illness, that he hated the way I was starting to get clingy, that his life was amazing now that he's moved back to his home city and has a girlfriend. For me to "hang in there" and hopefully, I'll find people in my life who can stand me.
That's the gist. I'm fucking enraged as hell about it and devastated. This was someone I once trusted more than almost anyone else in the world. Only my mom ranked higher and for him to just... say these things and leave? It made me so upset that I spent part of this morning dry heaving in front of my toilet.
I don't know what to do now. Can I trust anyone? People have been acting increasingly distant from me for some time now, with a few notable exceptions. I feel like I've gotten so sick that I don't have anything to offer anyone anymore and that's why people are stepping away. Either that or I'm coming across as so needy that people are just flat-out scared of me. And half of the time, I can't recognize how I'm acting because I'm consumed by the pain.
I still love him. Even though he's hurt me this much, I still love him. Just heartbroken. Going to cry for a while, I think.
That's the gist. I'm fucking enraged as hell about it and devastated. This was someone I once trusted more than almost anyone else in the world. Only my mom ranked higher and for him to just... say these things and leave? It made me so upset that I spent part of this morning dry heaving in front of my toilet.
I don't know what to do now. Can I trust anyone? People have been acting increasingly distant from me for some time now, with a few notable exceptions. I feel like I've gotten so sick that I don't have anything to offer anyone anymore and that's why people are stepping away. Either that or I'm coming across as so needy that people are just flat-out scared of me. And half of the time, I can't recognize how I'm acting because I'm consumed by the pain.
I still love him. Even though he's hurt me this much, I still love him. Just heartbroken. Going to cry for a while, I think.
Prax
Member
That thread's not loading for me but I think I know of the thread you're talking about?
It's the guy that said everything is amazing and he had some kidn fo nirvanna revelation and hasn't slept in 3 days?
Yeah, it definitely sounds liek he's on SOMETHING, either is high or on a mania high. Hopefully he doesn't burn himself out or do something extreme. Did he say he was hanging out wiht his brother at some point? I think some peopel in his life might already be concerned and are watching him--hopefully, anyway.
That is awful, but at the very least he wishes you well and tried to explain to you his own feelings. That is at least some kind of closure instead of straight up abandonment. Maybe he was able to word it in the best way, or maybe he's a little insesnitive, but he spent some time to respond to you at least out of respect? It's.. something. People inevitably come in go in our lives, and unfortunately, it's sometimes the biggest pillars, which is always the worst feeling.
But I think you can still trust people. I think it's important for you to not internalize this so much (I know, it's hard! But remind yourself!). Maybe your illness is making you behave strangely or more clingy, and people are scared and don't know how to deal (or they themselves don't have the energy to deal with their own problems and someone else's) so they withdraw. I think most people are like this (including me! We all have our own "energy available to spend on other people" meters). There might be only a small percentage of people who have it in them to constantly be giving AND to do it in a positive way, so be patient with yourself and others. It's a delicate balance you're trying to navigate between sharing the best parts of yourself with people, and also letting them know you might need support, and then accepting whatever small help others know how to give (some people are very bad at this and may only offer platitudes or cookies or something, but that what you can).
Unfortunately, I think with mental illness and depression, you have to make up for a lot of the lack of support yourself unless you can get a lot professional support. So it's going to be difficult to dig into their well of pain you have and still find strength, but it's in there! This is also why it's important to be patient with yourself, give yourself time and find ways to receive every happiness you can, so you can fill up that well when you need it most and people seem to drift out of your reach. We're also still here to cheer you on and give our nebulous aura of support. Maybe you can subsist on our good intentions alone, but it's something, so try to absorb every bit you can!
You still have a lot of love, as you say! Which is great. It's still in you. You still have strength to care, so try to use some of that love for yourself too (I know I'm saying this as if it's easy to just transfer feelings, but I'm hoping a little change in perspective can seed the thought and give it a chance). Focus on the good he has done in your life and build on that, knowing such things are possible.
I think it might be part of yor romantic desposition, to be honest. XD Not that it's a bad thing, but from know what I know of you, you are easily swayed by your heart, and your heart has many ambitions that might overwhelm what your brain believes to be possible.
But like they say, grief and heartbreak are the prices we pay to love so dearly and to experience such highs. I think even if you don't believe your desires to be realistic, knowing these feelings still exist in you this strongly can help power you in accomplishing others things. (I am pretty sure this is why so many artists come off as wildly emotional or mentally eccentric--all that excess is vented into creativity). Liek if you could objectify/symbolize that hope and love, just like in the comic your avatar is based off of, you can do great things, touch people's lives. Even if you feel that for yourself, you have nothing substantial to give, you still have that part of you that shines and is hopeful regardless.
And who knows? All sorts of unpredictable good things happen in life, and that spark is what will drive you to want to live and see it all.
Need advice if possible please.
I have a best mate that I assume has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) (very similar traits to those with NPD), and suffers from depression.
We've been good mates for a while, but as of late, his need to have to show his self importance, confidence, how good he is, etc has gotten on my nerves. I can never win an argument with him, and he always has to shoot me down, especially my confidence and self-esteem.
It seems he targets me in particular out of our group of mates, probably because I don't stand up to myself (I've given up, since I always come out second best), and doesn't verbally attack anyone else as much since he's probably afraid he'd lose against them, so he just goes to me.
He's awesome to hang around when he doesn't verbally abuse me, whether it's joking or serious, or have to always talk about himself and how the world wouldn't turn if he dies.
He always argues with me or a mate if we don't invite him to something - he gets extremely offended, yet when he or a mate doesn't invite me to something, he turns it against me and says you can't get invited to everything, stop trying to, etc.
If we were to argue, and he were wrong, he'd flip the argument so it's onto something completely irrelevant just so he can somehow win at the end.
He isn't very open about his problems, such as depression, but if he is he always comes to me, no-one else even if he's closer mates with them. But the next day when you bring it up, he plays it off like it never happened.
How do I handle his shit? Again, he's awesome when he doesn't act like this, and unfortunately he only does it to me because we hang out most, but damn, as of late it's become a pain in the ass.
Cheers!
I have a best mate that I assume has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) (very similar traits to those with NPD), and suffers from depression.
We've been good mates for a while, but as of late, his need to have to show his self importance, confidence, how good he is, etc has gotten on my nerves. I can never win an argument with him, and he always has to shoot me down, especially my confidence and self-esteem.
It seems he targets me in particular out of our group of mates, probably because I don't stand up to myself (I've given up, since I always come out second best), and doesn't verbally attack anyone else as much since he's probably afraid he'd lose against them, so he just goes to me.
He's awesome to hang around when he doesn't verbally abuse me, whether it's joking or serious, or have to always talk about himself and how the world wouldn't turn if he dies.
He always argues with me or a mate if we don't invite him to something - he gets extremely offended, yet when he or a mate doesn't invite me to something, he turns it against me and says you can't get invited to everything, stop trying to, etc.
If we were to argue, and he were wrong, he'd flip the argument so it's onto something completely irrelevant just so he can somehow win at the end.
He isn't very open about his problems, such as depression, but if he is he always comes to me, no-one else even if he's closer mates with them. But the next day when you bring it up, he plays it off like it never happened.
How do I handle his shit? Again, he's awesome when he doesn't act like this, and unfortunately he only does it to me because we hang out most, but damn, as of late it's become a pain in the ass.
Cheers!
abuse is abuse and if it's causing you this much strain and discomfort i don't see why you should put up with it.
if you try to tell him and he minimizes it than that sounds like a stellar reason to cut ties imo
edit: this might sound like a really extreme step but i grew up with a narcissistic parent
and me pulling away is one of the best things i have ever done for the both of us. you don't have to do it abruptly. just baby steps.
Prax
Member
I feel like narcissistic personality types might be one of the hardest to deal with (because so obnoxious lol).
But if he's fun to be around when not being a complete butthole, then I think the correct answer would be to only remain SHALLOW friends with him. Hang out less, or at least less deeply. Laugh at him and take nothing personally because his mode of communication is probably shallow at best or undermining to bolster his own self worth at worst. The closer you get, the more he will eat at you with his probably sycophantic personality. If he has depression, it's better to tell them to go get a psychologist/therapist who is better equipped to deal with their manipulative behavior and are paid to tell them to tone done their self-centerdness. And repeat that idea. Don't become their therapist. >_>
You can try to have stock/standard lines for when he's being a jerk. "Okay, jerkface, whatever" or "I didn't ask for you opinion lol" if he's injecting undermining opinions or "lol you're so full of it [change topic]" or "don't be so dramatic lol". Basically, remain shallow, enjoy him for what he can offer, give back if he gives to you, and ignore the rest (i.e. drama). Be in control of your relationship with them and keep a distance or they will try to manipulate you.
That sounds kind of mean and maybe he'll pout about how the world is unfair or so shallow they don't see the real him and he gives so much blah blah blah, but you need to preserve your self-esteem too. By being more shallow with him it means you don't have to cut him out of your life and you'll be able to kind of gauge if he shifts his behavior over time and hopefully he'll mellow out with age.
Remember: It's OKAY to have shallow friendships. You are allowed to have friendships of all kinds. And this guy operates on a mode where that's necessary.
btw, Although I think my advice is pretty good, I don't think I have ever dealt with a narcissist because if I have, this is exactly what I would do so I never get close to the point to know they are incredibly narcisstic lol
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