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Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
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I have an exam today. I don't want to go. I want to stay in my bed. I know nothing. I was given a second chance even though I failed most of my classes in first semester but now there is no hope left. I am pretty sure I have failed everything this semester. This is such a dreadful feeling. I can't even study for one minute. Depression has destroyed me. I wish there was someone to talk to. I just wanna hold someone in my arms 
I can relate. No, I don't defend the misogynistic guys, but the (internet) hate seems to extend to all sort of "awkward" people. Like is okay to bully and outcast them away since they are "just weirdos anyway".
Collete
Member
Here ya go!: Tumblr
Thanks! It's always good to know people still appreciate what we do!
Damn Collete great work.
I want it! (one day)
Haha, I'll do commissions some day or another lol
Hah, if I play him, he isn't that OP, so don't worry
But he is my favorite hero of all time right next to Dazzle lol
RustyCassette
Neo Member
Had a long talk with my mother about my feelings, she asked me to see a counsellor.
Was really odd that at my age she was going through a lot of the same things and feelings, it just makes me think about how much my depression is related to my life and how much is already a part of me.
I've never really felt like I had a lot to talk about in regards to my depression, that I always felt it was just a brain chemistry thing, but talking to her, actually vocalising my feelings brought to light a lot more than could be attributed to by hormones and chemicals etc.
So at my check-up on Monday I'm going to take that step and ask to be referred to a therapist/counsellor.
Was really odd that at my age she was going through a lot of the same things and feelings, it just makes me think about how much my depression is related to my life and how much is already a part of me.
I've never really felt like I had a lot to talk about in regards to my depression, that I always felt it was just a brain chemistry thing, but talking to her, actually vocalising my feelings brought to light a lot more than could be attributed to by hormones and chemicals etc.
So at my check-up on Monday I'm going to take that step and ask to be referred to a therapist/counsellor.
Not many people know that I'm part of the Collete Klutzstudios empire. One day she gave me a big lecture about updating on a schedule (which is great advice, btw) and then somehow she became my boss.
Collete
Member
Yes! (Also I abadoned the name Klutz Studios...I couldn't change the name from my other accounts lol)
Also, I'm demanding 50% of your profits as a result!
Collete
Member
50% of my nothing!??!?!
And thanks for the memo about the name change, boss!
Yes!
I changed it in the early days of Tumblr shortly after I named it "Klutz Studios"; you apparently didn't notice the name change!
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
So, I took what I thought was a Lisinopril today since I found out I have high blood pressure. All of a sudden, a half hour later I'm feeling pretty good. Turns out it was an Oxycodone.
It has been helping with my IBS symptoms and I can finally eat without fear of tenderness in my abdomen. My body/face look terrible if I weigh less the 155lbs. The insomnia is pretty bad -- wake up after 2 hours of sleep. I've even tried taking Abilify in the morning but it hasn't helped. I love the fact that my negative thoughts have gone away, and I have a lot more energy.
Femmeworth
Banned
I was discharged from the intensive outpatient program today. They referred me to a therapist and so I'm doing some research on her. She has had training from (aside from her traditional education) someplace called the Hakomi Institute.
I don't know about this.
Polydeuces
Member
I used to hate taking breaks too. If you try and study in intervals with breaks in between, you can make progress and feel better without the studying guilt.
Im procrastinating as well. Got 2 exams on monday and i'm worried for both of them (harsh prof, and got answers from friends.)
Don't be too hard on yourself, we're all in this together
. Choose to be happy.I was discharged from the intensive outpatient program today. They referred me to a therapist and so I'm doing some research on her. She has had training from (aside from her traditional education) someplace called the Hakomi Institute.I don't know about this.
You can bring up any concerns you have about the therapist in the sessions themselves. Wouldn't really be therapy if you couldn't now, would it?
eddfromtheriver
Banned
I have an exam today. I don't want to go. I want to stay in my bed. I know nothing. I was given a second chance even though I failed most of my classes in first semester but now there is no hope left. I am pretty sure I have failed everything this semester. This is such a dreadful feeling. I can't even study for one minute. Depression has destroyed me. I wish there was someone to talk to. I just wanna hold someone in my arms
*Virtual hug*
Sorry, I couldn't hear what you said over the sound of your totally awesome username.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Fuck damn, some people are so stupid. My so-called "friend" that I've mentioned here previously more than I should have is really beginning to irk me. I mean the more people I talk to about what happened, the more I keep hearing the same thing. That being that he's treating me unfairly and overreacting.
So, I got a call from an old but good friend of mine who lives in San Diego. Anyways, he had a big fight with his girlfriend and we talked for a long time. After talking to him, I posted this to my Facebook:
Me: "Heard from an old and great friend of mine today, XXXXXXXX. That really helped lift my spirits a bit."
So, anyways, my so-called friend (no, don't get confused - not the friend I mentioned in the post with X's) replies to this with:
"I can respect that."
I mean.... What the fuck does that even mean? Honestly, I don't even get this reply. Regardless, just so I don't seem like I'm blowing him off, I "like" it. To me, the response to my FB post sounds like he feels I'm slighting him, which if that's the case, would be utterly fucking hypocritical since, well, he's been pretty much ignoring and avoiding me. At this point, I feel like strangling him. I'm almost at the point where I just want to finally tell his ass off and rip deep into him. I really, really don't deserve this treatment but he knows I'm alone and he's taking advantage of it. I feel as if he's sitting there, laughing at me like he's punishing me.
Am I looking into this wrong? Am I just going about this the wrong way?
So, I got a call from an old but good friend of mine who lives in San Diego. Anyways, he had a big fight with his girlfriend and we talked for a long time. After talking to him, I posted this to my Facebook:
Me: "Heard from an old and great friend of mine today, XXXXXXXX. That really helped lift my spirits a bit."
So, anyways, my so-called friend (no, don't get confused - not the friend I mentioned in the post with X's) replies to this with:
"I can respect that."
I mean.... What the fuck does that even mean? Honestly, I don't even get this reply. Regardless, just so I don't seem like I'm blowing him off, I "like" it. To me, the response to my FB post sounds like he feels I'm slighting him, which if that's the case, would be utterly fucking hypocritical since, well, he's been pretty much ignoring and avoiding me. At this point, I feel like strangling him. I'm almost at the point where I just want to finally tell his ass off and rip deep into him. I really, really don't deserve this treatment but he knows I'm alone and he's taking advantage of it. I feel as if he's sitting there, laughing at me like he's punishing me.
Am I looking into this wrong? Am I just going about this the wrong way?
MisterLuffy
Member
I used to hate taking breaks too. If you try and study in intervals with breaks in between, you can make progress and feel better without the studying guilt.
Im procrastinating as well. Got 2 exams on monday and i'm worried for both of them (harsh prof, and got answers from friends.)
Don't be too hard on yourself, we're all in this together
Sometimes I choose to be hard on myself and hate myself because I'm incompetent. I hate that I'm always below in academics. I hate that I can't study well. I hate that I'm not motivated or don't have the confidence.
My writings sucks, I lack in vocabularies, my memory is bad, my thoughts are always blank, I can't think for myself, I can't even construct a sentence as you could see when you replied to my post, I don't have a job, I'm lazy and I procrastinate, I'm pathetic, I'm stupid, I'm useless, I committed more major sins which makes me hate myself even more, I lack in verbal communication, etc.
I could pull out more negative examples of me than positive. My counselor told me during session that I shouldn't be thinking about the negatives but positive things about myself. Well...it's more of what I love about myself? Funny thing is that I couldn't think of any positive things about myself or what I love about myself.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Not with me I hope. <3
I'm so unstable lately. Can't seem to keep a good feeling very long.
I've been reading what you told us about this friend and I agree, it's weird. Apparently he's got his own issues too. Is there any chance you could get together and have a heart to heart talk? Nothing judgemental, but just trying to figure out what's his deal and carefully explain how you feel about it.
I have a very good friend who has her own bag of trouble as well. Consequence of that is that she is flaky. Add to that that she's a completely different person than I am. Sometimes I just get annoyed by the way she handles things. For example, she was supposed to come over soon, she said she wanted to. She mentioned a day and we agreed that we would talking about the time a little bit closer to that date. Fine. I keep that day free for her. So that day I text her, because I hadn't heard from her, when she's coming? Nothing. I'm a little pissed, but I'll live because there are things I can do around the house. But in the next weeks I don't hear from her either even though I tried to contact her. So I get worried. I'm somewhat pissed off because I know she's not dead, so why doesn't she let me know what's going on..?
This has happened more times than I can count and it hurts. But on the other hand she understands me like no-one else, and gives the best advice. So I've learned to not let it get to me. I know she's like that, and for the most part, she doesn't realise it and can't even help it. There is no malicious intent. So when this happens I let it slide off, meet with another friend and try to contact her every once in a while, casually. And things get better again. (Although I must say that the last time she did this, I said something about it. That if we want to meet, this time she can't blow me off like that (wasn't even blown off gheh). I proposed we would arrange a meeting in a different way and that if she couldn't come she would let me know.)
By the way; it turned out that she hadn't contacted me because she had been having a really shitty time, including hospital visits, operations, etc. So I understand. Somewhat. On the one hand, on the other I think; is a text too much to ask?
I didn't really write all of that out for sympathy. I just wanted to somehow explain that there are very different ways to have a friendship. In the end you both have to feel (enough) good about it.
Also maybe tell you about a way to handle it all. I know it's easier said than done, but worry less and just move on. Sometimes time will heal things, or make it easier. Not everything always has to be resolved the moment it comes up.
Another question is; do you even still want to be friends with this person, sometimes enough is enough...
RustyCassette
Neo Member
Belongs here just fine!
Sorry about the anxiety. We really should organize another chat/some more resources/whatever to discuss social anxiety (or anxiety in general). It's such a problem for so many people in here. You're certainly not alone.
(and your username is indeed great)
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
At this point, I'm not so sure. He's my only friend left in town so if I (or he) decides to break off said friendship, I'm officially alone. At the same time, I don't like the way he's behaving in regards all this. He's prone to overreact. I've seen him do it with other people. I don't think I could set aside talking to him anyhow and in truth, I don't even think I feel like it.
Thanks, im there now and feeling bit out of my depth hah, sorry to just jump into thread like this! Ive lurked irc a few times ill admit, will try to chat a bit more
Bagels just gave me incredible advice and I wish to share it with you people. I think it really shows us how none of us are perfect but that's what being human is. All we can do is try our best and I think that's enough!!
The amazing quote is:
"are we human or are we okay"
If anyone in the future ever uses this quote please attribute it to "bagels"
The amazing quote is:
"are we human or are we okay"
If anyone in the future ever uses this quote please attribute it to "bagels"
Hi GAF,
I've posted here before, but I never really stuck with the thread. The past couple of days have been pretty rough on me though. I need to be getting better; but it feels like I'm doing everything possible just to fuck myself over. I ruined my sleep schedule - which was already pretty terrible to begin with. I'm posting this at 5:10 am, having spent yesterday sleeping from around 2pm to 7 or 8pm. I started a diet about two months ago...that's not going well anymore. I'm not eating as poorly as I used to, but not as well I was during the diet either. I started up a gaming website about a month ago because I wanted to get back into the industry. Set up a few press contacts, wrote a bunch of articles, but by last week I just felt like I couldn't commit to it anymore and shut the whole thing down.
I keep trying to convince myself that my life is never going to get better. I know this isn't the case, but I've been using it as an excuse to stay up all night or spend most of my time sleeping or playing video games. I should be going out more, I should be practicing what my psychologist has asked me to do. But I just can't find the motivation to do it. I'm afraid about the future, about living with anxiety. I don't want to constantly be fighting against it, I just want to carry on without having to worry about the next panic attack or bout of depression. I'm not suicidal and I'm getting all the help I possibly can. I guess I just need to find a way to stay motivated and committed.
So yeah. Thanks for listening, needed to vent a bit.
I've posted here before, but I never really stuck with the thread. The past couple of days have been pretty rough on me though. I need to be getting better; but it feels like I'm doing everything possible just to fuck myself over. I ruined my sleep schedule - which was already pretty terrible to begin with. I'm posting this at 5:10 am, having spent yesterday sleeping from around 2pm to 7 or 8pm. I started a diet about two months ago...that's not going well anymore. I'm not eating as poorly as I used to, but not as well I was during the diet either. I started up a gaming website about a month ago because I wanted to get back into the industry. Set up a few press contacts, wrote a bunch of articles, but by last week I just felt like I couldn't commit to it anymore and shut the whole thing down.
I keep trying to convince myself that my life is never going to get better. I know this isn't the case, but I've been using it as an excuse to stay up all night or spend most of my time sleeping or playing video games. I should be going out more, I should be practicing what my psychologist has asked me to do. But I just can't find the motivation to do it. I'm afraid about the future, about living with anxiety. I don't want to constantly be fighting against it, I just want to carry on without having to worry about the next panic attack or bout of depression. I'm not suicidal and I'm getting all the help I possibly can. I guess I just need to find a way to stay motivated and committed.
So yeah. Thanks for listening, needed to vent a bit.
Yeah - that's what I was typing, and somehow it came out "are we human or are we ok."
(I'm totally a dancer btw. People familiar with my singing skills, or my INCREDIBLE impressions, will not be surprised to learn that I am also an unbelievable dancer!
)Yeah - that's what I was typing, and somehow it came out "are we human or are we ok."
(I'm totally a dancer btw. People familiar with my singing skills, or my INCREDIBLE impressions, will not be surprised to learn that I am also an unbelievable dancer!
I can only picture you rolling around. :V
So, been a while. Went into a panic attack and gotten beat up by my brother and dad for my trouble, and I've been dealing with sprained legs and a sore neck for days. It's awful, and I feel awful about myself for my loss of control, but at the least, it's given me time to think again. I still feel lost about what to do with myself and my family, but I still feel like there's some way I can try and find some leveling. I'm open to suggestions, at this point.
My own sleeping schedule has never been too conventional, either. 5/6 am tends to be my average at the moment, for different reasons. One of those is just the quietness late at night, have nothing around to disturb me (except maybe the cats) And as it gets closer to the time to sleep, suddenly a variety of things will come to me that I "must do" even though that is rarely accurate, and it could wait until the next day.
Even when I had to be more active, I'd always push that bedtime back as much as I could. Back then, it was a case of maxing out the time I had, before having to face another shit filled day. Currently, it is the feeling of dread about the end of the day marking more wasted time. I sometimes find myself waking up and going back to sleep too, as I feel I have absolutely nothing to look forward to, upon waking up. It will probably improve, if I do find a regular reason. But right now, it isn't there.
How much did you alter your diet? Did you cut down, or replace a lot of what you used to eat? The latter tends to be much more difficult. For me, I stuck to what I liked, and cut down gradually overtime. And made the really unhealthy foods less frequent. Your body adjusts to less going in, if you stick to it. Everyone's mileage may vary, but it was the most effective way for me personally.
And how long have you been seeing your psychologist? As it can be a long process for the advice given to take effect. If you've had the same mindset towards things for a very long time, it isn't too surprising that completely changing that will also take its time. That's the sense I try to make of it, at least.
(I'm totally a dancer btw. People familiar with my singing skills, or my INCREDIBLE impressions, will not be surprised to learn that I am also an unbelievable dancer!
I disapprove this message.
Yeah - that's what I was typing, and somehow it came out "are we human or are we ok."
(I'm totally a dancer btw. People familiar with my singing skills, or my INCREDIBLE impressions, will not be surprised to learn that I am also an unbelievable dancer!
Are you telling me that the life changing advice you gave me was a TYPO???
!Are you telling me that the life changing advice you gave me was a TYPO???
Freudian slip.
/Thank you. Thank you very much. I'll get my coat. I'm here all week.
Yeah, I kind of have similar reasons for my rather irregular sleep schedule.
As for my diet, I basically cut out most of the fast food I would eat and switched over to Weight Watchers stuff. Now I've been having fast food a bit more frequently or just eating larger portions in general.
Also, I've been seeing my psychologist since September, so roughly seven months. I've definitely come a long way. Back in September I would have terrible panic attacks each night and I could never leave my house. Now I can at least go grocery shopping. But yeah, it's the general mindset that hasn't really changed much and that's something I need to work on.
Btw, is your avatar of Broyles from Fringe?
As long as you like the food you've switched to. Strictly eating things you don't like too much will make you more prone to those unhealthy slip ups. One of the perks of adjusting to less of the junk food, and the sugary drinks is that any time I have them, they are much more satisfying. Compared with the past times of excess. Keeping your mind busy can help fend off those thoughts of temptation too. When it comes, just throw yourself into a hobby of yours that you enjoy, or something you've been meaning to do. The distraction helps. Your body will adjust, if you stick with it, and keep it regular. I'm currently just under 60lb lighter than I was at my highest point, and I hope you can have similar success.
Like I said in an earlier post, my own therapist considers up to 6 months as being short term, so that isn't too bad. It's good that you do recognize that it has brought some improvement to your issues. The brain can be rather critical at times, and focus on what hasn't changed, instead of the small things that have actually improved. Something I can be guilty of myself when I'm feeling low, but I've only been seeing people about my own issues for a few months now. And I'm hopeful that these series of small steps will get me closer to the point where I want to be.
And yes, it is Broyles! It is from the LSD episode. (which is one of my favourite episodes)
I don't know if you mean it in the way I feel, but yes. I often wish that our universe was a different fictional universe, something like Fringe or Stargate. Ours just seems so.. boring
I have a problem. It is a long running issue and I am not really sure of the root cause (although I assume depression). I have had a weight problem for a long time. Through diet and exercise, I have rubber banded back and forth over the last 15 years. I quit smoking two years ago (although I still occasionally smoke while drinking). I'm down overall a total of around 75 pounds (was 100 but am back up about 20 now). I'm still very much overweight.
My main problem is night time eating. At certain points, I feel the need to consume food until I'm full. Like pretty close to puking full. I feel like talking to someone (I don't really want to talk to my family about this, and I have no close friends) might help. Regardless what the cause is and how much has to do with mental health vs. self-control, I want to address this issue and get help. I am not suicidal and have no thoughts of hurting myself.
Who should I be seeing? My insurance is very good and I don't need a referral before seeing someone. Should I be aiming for a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, or someone else?
My main problem is night time eating. At certain points, I feel the need to consume food until I'm full. Like pretty close to puking full. I feel like talking to someone (I don't really want to talk to my family about this, and I have no close friends) might help. Regardless what the cause is and how much has to do with mental health vs. self-control, I want to address this issue and get help. I am not suicidal and have no thoughts of hurting myself.
Who should I be seeing? My insurance is very good and I don't need a referral before seeing someone. Should I be aiming for a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, or someone else?
We all get like that from time to time but I try to remember that haven't really seen much or experience much of the world so I can't really pass judgment on or myself. I've lived in two states and I've been very isolated in both. While nothing may be going right for me these "worlds" there other cultures out there that I may fit better in. Unfortunately money and commitments keep me bound to where I am.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
What did you do?
Something I shouldn't, because it always gives me really bad anxiety/makes me regret the past 2 years of my life and makes me wish I never met someone, and that makes me super pissed at myself for being unable to let go.
Worst anxiety I've experienced in months. Feel so terrible, physically and mentally.
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