BigEvilTurtle
Banned
Figures once I take steps to cope with/fix my depression I get my heart broken. Love sucks. Depression sucks. Ugh. One step forward, two steps back.
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Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
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sorry to hear that mang
I was just coming in here to post something similar, but I got cut off a step earlier than that.
I had a pretty bad bout of depression at the end of the winter and have started eating + exercising more. I got to a good point and was gonna finally go out again and socialize, then I got hit with a sinus infection for a couple weeks. then as soon as that was done, a face rash pops up. all these anti-histamines are making me feel like I'm falling back down into that pit
This was a quote in the book I just finished reading, it impacted me a lot, and I thought I could share it here as well. Certainly applicable, and something I should take to heart, that I shouldn't be afraid to ask for help..
He repeated the story he liked to tell us. The one with the small boy who was trying to lift a rock in his garden, and the boys dad was watching him heave and sweat and struggle, but get nowhere. Eventually the dad asks, Why dont you use all of your strength? And the boy says, I am, Daddy. I am using all of my strength. And his dad says, No youre not. You havent asked me for help.
He repeated the story he liked to tell us. The one with the small boy who was trying to lift a rock in his garden, and the boys dad was watching him heave and sweat and struggle, but get nowhere. Eventually the dad asks, Why dont you use all of your strength? And the boy says, I am, Daddy. I am using all of my strength. And his dad says, No youre not. You havent asked me for help.
im the loneliest piece of shit i know and posting in this thread isn't gonna do jack shit except add to the wall of misery everyone loves. I've been fantasizing a lot about getting a gun, quitting my job, filling my place with alcohol and cutting off contact with family. Lol i should get help amirite? Dont worry though if i ever get the balls for it ill post pics and shit. Entertainment for sure. Dont get the hopes up though im too complacent in my misery.
This sounds so much better when you think of the 'f's as 'L's.
You should have been spending more time in the IRC.
Almost done with classes?
ALL done with classes, actually. Then had an important work project to do though :x and now I'm in Europe visiting my family, pretending nothing's wrong yay
Where in europe???
Switzerland! Where my family is/where I'm from.
Right on! I visited once for a day the last time I was in Italy. Nice country.
There's nothing to like about me. :/
Don't you fucking tell me what to do, you doughnut wannabe
Livingskeletons
If I pulled that off, would you die?
Yesterday I ran out of my 14 day sampler of Vilazodone (Viibryd).
Last night I learned first hand what "Brain Shivers" are.
My depression is only minor and the drugs did make me feel more motivated, but I'm unsure if I want to continue taking them.
Last night I learned first hand what "Brain Shivers" are.
My depression is only minor and the drugs did make me feel more motivated, but I'm unsure if I want to continue taking them.
I'm at my dad's wedding watching him get married to a woman I despise.
And because we were in a hurry this morning I forgot to take my anti-anxiety meds.
:/ hope effexor withdrawal effects don't start fast.... And my anxiety remains reasonable
And because we were in a hurry this morning I forgot to take my anti-anxiety meds.
:/ hope effexor withdrawal effects don't start fast.... And my anxiety remains reasonable
This past week has been pretty trying. About 2/3 of April was actually pretty good for me, but the last week of the month just proved how fragile my good moods are. All it takes is for someone to prod me with "jokes", and I become very terse and that quickly escalates into a falling out, which then also impacts other friendships. It's like, I can have a really good feeling about myself, good sense of worth, a positive attitude towards my prospects and the energy/motivation to make positive things happen in my life, and that so quickly changes to agitation and annoyance at the slightest thing. And once I crash into a horrible depression, that's an entire week (at least) written off because I fester on it.
I know no one's perfect, but I wish I was better at not sabotaging friendships.
On the plus side, an old friend reached out last month after we had a really stupid parting of ways (entirely my doing, that time), and I had an opportunity to apologise, explain, and begin to make amends. Swings and roundabouts, I guess.
I know no one's perfect, but I wish I was better at not sabotaging friendships.
On the plus side, an old friend reached out last month after we had a really stupid parting of ways (entirely my doing, that time), and I had an opportunity to apologise, explain, and begin to make amends. Swings and roundabouts, I guess.
Collete
Member
I feel I'm doing that with the guy I like right now...I hope I'm not but still...
I understand you're plight unfortunately =\
MisterLuffy
Member
So I re-tweaked my central idea for my research paper: Because people thought anime is for kids, adults are not going to watch anime shows like Hunter X Hunter, Deadman Wonderland, Bleach, Cowboy Bebop, and Kaiji.
Now the only problem are the topic sentences because I think it's going to be a reiteration of the first topic sentence that I came up with for Hunter X Hunter. Any ideas? Please PM me.
Now the only problem are the topic sentences because I think it's going to be a reiteration of the first topic sentence that I came up with for Hunter X Hunter. Any ideas? Please PM me.
Not to split hairs, but all of those examples except Bebop and Kaiji are aimed at kids (<17).
hgarrett54
Banned
I refresh NeoGAF all day because it makes me feel like someone's talking to me.
*snug*
I know that feel. I made a big mistake on Wednesday, and now I am paying the price... I am waiting and waiting on him so that I can try to correct it, but I have a feeling he's done.
Collete
Member
Should I even keep trying?...He's kind so I can't tell if he's just talking to me because I'm enjoyable to be around or he's just being polite...I'm really not used to the one being the initiator of conversations at all as one might can tell...
Screw depression messing me up and my self confidence...
Chances are, he enjoys talking to you for you. If you are enjoying yourself and he seems to be having a good time, go for it.
hgarrett54
Banned
InsaneZero
Member
I refresh NeoGAF all day because that is easier to do than getting involved in actual conversation. I kinda feel jealous of people that have love problems because I have real problems with coming up with the drive to go after people in the first place.
hgarrett54
Banned
Collete
Member
Hm ok...thanks.
I don't know what you did to make your mistake, but no guy is worth your time if they just ditch you like that (even though I know that's hard to believe).
But, I'm the one initiating the conversations...does that make a difference?
I feel like I'm forcing him to respond because I'm starting these conversations with him.
I was a giant hypocrit in terms of what I was saying vs what my actions were. I've only known him a little while, and we got along just fine. But, I really fucked that up.
InsaneZero
Member
I'd have interesting things to say, but talking to people requires effort.
If he didn't feel like talking, he would just find an excuse to not engage in a conversation. Quite frankly, you're self-conscious enough about how he feels about you that you would've already noticed if he was trying to blow you off.
hgarrett54
Banned
Maybe he thinks the same way. Some guys are shy D:
Collete
Member
I don't think he is.
He's like super extroverted and really kind...that's why I feel I'm just forcing him to talk to me by initiating conversations...If he's really extroverted, wouldn't he have talked to me by now?
..I dunno...I dunno how extroverted guys work. I know how introverted ones work, but extroverted ones are new to me...=_=
hgarrett54
Banned
Maybe you could just ask him.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I can relate to these. Nowadays I use the IRC for most of my daily conversation.
I too wish I had some love problems. Often I hear people's problems I have no opportunity to experience I'm socially anxious.
Collete
Member
Haha....ha...ha...*kicks wilsong out his shell and moves in and shuts it*
But seriously...maybe...I just don't want to make it awkward due to my insecurity of bothering him...I don't know...
No...I kinda wish I didn't have love problems...this stuff just happens and I sort of wish I don't have the capability of loving someone else...But...I do whether I like it or not...
Loving someone else yet I have no chance in hell is the ultimate torture I think in my opinion...I love him a lot yet...I don't think I have a chance in hell with someone like him...I'm trying to be confident as much as I can but deep inside I know I'm this sad little girl with a illness trying to kill her...
I don't know...my point is...there's good and bad to both sides...relish in the side you are in now...(wow i'm a hypocrite lol)
hgarrett54
Banned
I downloaded an IRC client, stared at an empty window for five minutes and then uninstalled it.
Just like every other social/messaging app I've ever downloaded.
I'm serious, just ask him. At least he talks to you ^-^
Collete
Member
That is true I guess. I dunno, I guess became self conscious more than usual about this since last night...I guess I shouldn't overreact. He is a busy guy and I don't get much time to talk to him. He could easily just shut me down if he feels like it and he hasn't so far. You're right.
True...=_=
If I get increasingly more self conscious, I suppose I could ask him...but I think as InsaneZero said, if he really didn't want to talk to me, he would have blown me off ages ago.
I just gotta work on my self confidence of not bothering people...It's a big flaw of mine I think.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
You can join it without downloading anything. If you just want to watch and chime in every so often that's cool.
I guess you define love problems differently than I. I meant more as being in a relationship. All I get are first dates.
Collete
Member
Oh.
I thought you were referring to just trying to get with someone. Being in a relationship is different...then I take back of what I said and just imagine it with a better more constructive light then lol
InsaneZero
Member
One thing that could probably help you take on this anxiety would be to ground your perspective based upon things that have actually happened. Whenever your imagination goes wild, just think about how your thoughts have matched up to reality. That helped me to then stop thinking about those things since those negative thoughts were then less believable.
I haven't been able to muster up the energy to get even that far lol
hgarrett54
Banned
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Dating/starting relationships sucks. The latter is hard for me even when it's not intended to be romantic.
Collete
Member
That does sound helpful...I'll try using that technique whenever the anxiety creeps up on me again.
Thank you!
You sound like an awesome person. I can't imagine you bothering anyone
Haha...I appreciate the compliment all the same
Yeah...I kinda just go the hard route of relationships I suppose...
I try to go after my friends after I known them for a bit so I kinda reduce the starting relationships and dating anxiety a bit.
But it's like...the most tedious route to go to in most people's standards...I dunno. I guess my life is nothing but hardships I suppose lol.
But I'm right in this thread! How dare you.
hgarrett54
Banned
The only person that says they like me is a girl that sends me one text every couple of weeks.
At least I have potato chips
At least I have potato chips
Collete
Member
Yasae it's not you!
We probably talked on steam like...a year ago! D:
Why not talk to her more?
Sea salt and vinegar for life!
Haven't been able to taste since Feb 14 this year...
Don't really cook much anymore as a result even though it'd use to be stress relief
Death of a friend is really getting to me...
Other family members dying recently hadn't really affect me... was pretty apathetic about it...
but this is really depressing me. first death of someone close. family took me in when I was homeless, he stopped me from intentionally walking out in front of a vehicle...
Don't really cook much anymore as a result even though it'd use to be stress relief
Death of a friend is really getting to me...
Other family members dying recently hadn't really affect me... was pretty apathetic about it...
but this is really depressing me. first death of someone close. family took me in when I was homeless, he stopped me from intentionally walking out in front of a vehicle...
hgarrett54
Banned
She lives a state away, and she only replies once every couple of weeks.
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