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I'm sick of my skin color

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Ugh, this thread makes me sad.

Bishop89 said:
you never know

GqRGEqa.gif
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This comment made me happy again.
 
do better

as a black man thats dated a lot of women outside my race thats the only advice I can offer

but give the sistas a try too...they are awesome
 
Sho_Nuff82 said:
I live in Boston and 95% of the women I date are white...because most of the women here are white. What are the demographics of your city? Are you being realistic in your pursuits (you have to have a lot going on to be 40 and try to date some 22 to 25 year olds)? Where do you try to meet women?

You're really going to have to post pics for us to judge.
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Those do matter a lot
Also the choice of women the OP chose just makes me go WUT?
So you want those type of women or the characters those women performed as
 
Xplatformer said:
...being the number one reason women won't date me.

Yeah...this is a bitch fest.

I'm a black male, 40...175lbs. Fit, average looking...who has grown up in the USA watching the likes of Phoebe Cates, Alisa Milano, Joannie...Bo Derek... (sorry for mis-spelling the names)

I've been conditioned to be attracted to women outside my race. Yet, the women outside my race see me first as a color, and not as a man. Sure, there are exceptions...but I'd say that about every 1 out of 10 non black women you see on the street would seriously consider going on a date with a black man.

And I don't think it's wrong for it to rub me the wrong way. (mind you...I don't blame or fault women for having preferences. This is just a bitch fest.
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Dude I have noticed the same thing. Even more upsetting is that when these girls put on some kind of pseudo-BET hood talk when you speak to them, yet automatically switch it up when talking to a guy from a different race. It is like a whole demeanor change.

If you want to do an experiment start saying you are mixed. I have noticed that I am less likely to get such exchanges when I have an S-curl and tell them I am mixed. Sure sometimes that feeling is there, but in many cases the total conversations go differently.
 
Az said:
Don't limit yourself to one race, you are missing out.


Also, Seanspeed is here. This should be fun.
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Not necessary man.

He also said people outside his race, not just white girls(unless that's what he meant, don't want to speak for him).
 
Xplatformer said:
every 1 out of 10 non black women you see on the street would seriously consider going on a date with a black man.
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What on earth could you be basing this on?

Anyways, not sure where you live but my experience in NY have been the exact opposite. My dating life in the past decade has mostly been outside of my race. I haven't had any problems what so ever.

But with that said, what are you like when it doesn't come to your skin color? Do you have a job? Do you carry yourself confidently? Are you approachable? All in all, I'm asking are you even dateable. I'm not suggesting anything here, I'm just saying that you should assess these things first before assuming your current situation has anything to do with your skin color. I'm sure in some cases it does but generally? I don't buy it (depending on where you live I guess).
 
tarius1210 said:
I hate when people post and run. OP, we need answers now.
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I doubt he'll show. He read the first few responses like.......Ivemadeahugemistake.gif


anytime anyone say's they've been conditioned for anything....I just don't know man. Too many variables the OP has left out.

Is he giving black women the cold shoulder or non verbal cues to not approach. Is he in a place where interracial dating is still taboo?

I mean the guy is fishing in a limited water hole with basic bait trying to catch a particular fish... What did he expect. Also how many "fish" has he thrown back. Given the size of his location, if he's in a place where everybody knows everybody....He probably has garnered a bit of a rep and now he's not getting love from anyone.
 
Strictly said:
Move to the UK, i.e. London. I see so much black and white couples all the time now. Funny, I travelled to New York last Christmas and was stunned at just how few interracial couples around in the city. I always pictured America as being more ahead in such regards due to their history, but left shocked just how behind you guys are.
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HHHSl8b.jpg
 
Strictly said:
Move to the UK, i.e. London. I see so much black and white couples all the time now. Funny, I traveled to New York last Christmas and was stunned at just how few interracial couples around in the city. I always pictured America as being more ahead in such regards due to their history, but left shocked just how behind you guys are.
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Sorry it was Christmas in NYC when you came, it has a policy during the holiday time for Interracial Couple to go away to not upset the Tourist, come back during Summer, see the couples out in the wild...

You do realize NYC is fucking huge, if your just judging that off just your personal experience and labeling all of it of a city + nation, just wow
 
Its true that some girls will reject you just based on skin color. But this happens to all races. The main point you should focus on is presenting yourself as best as possible, maintaining a positive attitude, and not thinking about skin color. Dress nice, lift some weights, and smile constantly - these things will help you with success (especially the last one).
 
Xplatformer said:
...being the number one reason women won't date me.

Yeah...this is a bitch fest.

I'm a black male, 40...175lbs. Fit, average looking...who has grown up in the USA watching the likes of Phoebe Cates, Alisa Milano, Joannie...Bo Derek... (sorry for mis-spelling the names)

I've been conditioned to be attracted to women outside my race. Yet, the women outside my race see me first as a color, and not as a man. Sure, there are exceptions...but I'd say that about every 1 out of 10 non black women you see on the street would seriously consider going on a date with a black man.

And I don't think it's wrong for it to rub me the wrong way. (mind you...I don't blame or fault women for having preferences. This is just a bitch fest.
Click to expand...

take that coon talk somewhere else breh. It's true that western beauty standards are indeed dominated by whites, but if you can't appreciate the beauty of black women I can't fuck with you.

Maybe you just aren't attractive, or maybe you're too old for the women you're pursuing. I'd look inward before blaming women because there are plenty of pawgs out here fucking with black guys such as myself.
 
Its not uncommon at all around here to see black men with white women. My buddies sister(white) only dated black men. It was what she desired. I haven't seen many white men with black women though. Is that because black women aren't interested in white men or the opposite or both? I bet there are interesting studies regarding various relationships of different races.
 
Xplatformer said:
...being the number one reason women won't date me.

Yeah...this is a bitch fest.

I'm a black male, 40...175lbs. Fit, average looking...who has grown up in the USA watching the likes of Phoebe Cates, Alisa Milano, Joannie...Bo Derek... (sorry for mis-spelling the names)

I've been conditioned to be attracted to women outside my race. Yet, the women outside my race see me first as a color, and not as a man. Sure, there are exceptions...but I'd say that about every 1 out of 10 non black women you see on the street would seriously consider going on a date with a black man.

And I don't think it's wrong for it to rub me the wrong way. (mind you...I don't blame or fault women for having preferences. This is just a bitch fest.
Click to expand...

1) Modify your expectations and desires. If you're aware of them enough to know that they're kinda skewed, why not work on that? There's nothing wrong with being attracted to white woman, but it's always sad when it's because you're conditioned to not see the beauty in your own race and physical features.

2) Your confidence, work on improving that. If you fret so much about your skin color, that effects the energy your putting out into the world, and diminishes your self-esteem, which everyone picks up on and doesn't do a thing to make you attractive to anyone.
 
Bomber Bob said:
conditioned? How?
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Chariot said:
What? Did your parents whip you everytime you looked at a black women?
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Well, it's been well documented that girls of all races tend to prefer light skinned dolls:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/05/13/doll.study/

Study: White and black children biased toward lighter skin

Nearly 60 years after American schools were desegregated by the landmark Brown v. Board of Education ruling, and more than a year after the election of the country's first black president, white children have an overwhelming white bias, and black children also have a bias toward white, according to a new study commissioned by CNN​

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=98631253

Yes. I wrote a piece titled "Dolls like Me," that ran on TheRoot.com last week and was also reprised in the Washington Post. And it kind of piggybacks on a piece that was similarly inspired that I wrote around the same time last year, when I had taken a purposeful turn to find my then three-year-old daughter a doll. And what I found last year, it's just extremely difficult to find black dolls, period. And this year I encountered the same types of challenges in finding black dolls.​

http://www.npr.org/blogs/newsandviews/2007/10/for_lightskinned_only.html

History has shown that black people with lighter skin were treated better. In the days of slavery, the dark-skinned blacks worked in the fields while light-skinned blacks worked in the house, hence the terms "field Negroes" and "house Negroes." It got so bad, that not only did the slave owners, who were often responsible for the lighter shade of brown his slaves had, give lighter-skinned blacks more respect, but so did the dark-skinned blacks.

This evolved into generations of blacks both consciously and subconsciously teaching themselves that one is better than the other which eventually led to a billion dollar fake hair industry.
​

There is definitely strong cultural and media influence on our perception of beauty and what is considered attractive.
 
Lets be honest, if you aren't attracting women, I'd point at something other than your race as to why you're not seen as attractive. Unless you live in the suburbs where everyone is 1st cousins down the line, interracial couples are more common than frozen yogurt.

Post your pic and let me judge
WchzOe3.png
 
I'll be honest I came into this thread off a link and never looked at the thread title.


LOL!!!! bro get outta here with that talk son. How can you love someone else when you don't even love yourself???
 
CharlieDigital said:
Well, it's been well documented that girls of all races tend to prefer light skinned dolls:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/05/13/doll.study/

Study: White and black children biased toward lighter skin

Nearly 60 years after American schools were desegregated by the landmark Brown v. Board of Education ruling, and more than a year after the election of the country's first black president, white children have an overwhelming white bias, and black children also have a bias toward white, according to a new study commissioned by CNN​

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=98631253

Yes. I wrote a piece titled "Dolls like Me," that ran on TheRoot.com last week and was also reprised in the Washington Post. And it kind of piggybacks on a piece that was similarly inspired that I wrote around the same time last year, when I had taken a purposeful turn to find my then three-year-old daughter a doll. And what I found last year, it's just extremely difficult to find black dolls, period. And this year I encountered the same types of challenges in finding black dolls.​

http://www.npr.org/blogs/newsandviews/2007/10/for_lightskinned_only.html

History has shown that black people with lighter skin were treated better. In the days of slavery, the dark-skinned blacks worked in the fields while light-skinned blacks worked in the house, hence the terms "field Negroes" and "house Negroes." It got so bad, that not only did the slave owners, who were often responsible for the lighter shade of brown his slaves had, give lighter-skinned blacks more respect, but so did the dark-skinned blacks.

This evolved into generations of blacks both consciously and subconsciously teaching themselves that one is better than the other which eventually led to a billion dollar fake hair industry.
​

There is definitely strong cultural and media influence on our perception of beauty and what is considered attractive.
Click to expand...

If you guys are actually interested in this subject, you should watch the documentary Dark Girls. It's on Netflix streaming and it was thought provoking as hell. Can't recommend this film enough.
 
samurai1226 said:
its kinda easy to blame it on the skin color than anything else.

being attracted to somebody and going on a date have so many variables, i think its way too easy to say smth like that without giving us more details about your dating life
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What if they flat out say it? I've definitely heard it before (not directed towards me) but from friends. I was talking to a female friend of mine and about dating preferences and she dropped the "I wouldn't date a black guy. You understand, right? Some people just have preferences" and I politely nodded but thought "No, I don't understand" and was a little hurt.

The thought of a whole race being discounted just strikes me as odd, considering how much variance there are in appearances and cultures and personalities and tons of other factors even WITHIN a race.
 
40 isn't a detriment as a man. Maybe if you're going after out of HS girls. But if you're in shape and dress well, 40 is not really too old.
 
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