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[justjohn]

Its not uncommon at all around here to see black men with white women. My buddies sister(white) only dated black men. It was what she desired. I haven't seen many white men with black women though. Is that because black women aren't interested in white men or the opposite or both? I bet there are interesting studies regarding various relationships of different races.

Black women are very much interested in white men but I think it's mostly white men who aren't interested.

 

[CharlieDigital]

...she dropped the "I wouldn't date a black guy. You understand, right? Some people just have preferences" and I politely nodded but thought "No, I don't understand" and was a little hurt

Maybe it was a challenge.

You should have been like "Challenge accepted"

 

[JBourne]

Yeah me too.And the percentage of my ethnicity in my country is less than 2%

I don't think your race is what's holding you back, Kopite.

 

[captmcblack]

Conditioned?

Anyway, improve yourself - dress better, carry yourself better, get in better shape, become a better conversationalist, and place yourself in situations to succeed talking to women. Do local Meetups/Zogsports/etc, go out more, and so on. Don't limit yourself either, and you'll find that you'll get more of what you are looking for simply because your numbers in general are up anyway.

 

[GraveRobberX]

I'm guessing OP age might play a huge part in this situation
I mean 40 is no goddamn death sentence for dating

I just want to know what he type of females he's trying to pursue
Are you skewing more younger than your age, by how many years
Where are you going to meet these females
What type of personality do you have around women

I can't give you advice, cause I haven't been any of these situations
I'm an overweight fuck who never has had a date in my entire life (let alone kissed a girl >.>, but I have an understanding I'm not the catch for 100% of the females out there
I do know I have asked these question to myself when I see a pretty girl I like, if I can even approach them

 

[EscoBlades]

I've been conditioned to be attracted to women outside my race.

I zoned in on this and shook my head. No...just no.

Also, Seanspeed is here. This should be fun.

He didn't waste any time did he?

 

[BeatResetsTheWorld]

Maybe it was a challenge.

You should have been like "Challenge accepted"

Haha, nah. For one she was my friend's GF and two I wasn't into her at all. But I admit, some twisted part of me likes the challenge of getting with girls who don't normally date black guys. I don't know why

 

[GraveRobberX]

OP needs to move to an area where there's a chocolate famine and get himself some thirsty white girls

Iceland?

 

[justjohn]

Also by 40, surely you would have settled down by now or at least have an extensive dating history. Are you a virgin?

 

[jhmtehgamr20xx]

Why do you automatically assume it's your skin color?

Seriously bro, stop jumping to the worst. Self confidence sounds like it could be an issue for you. And it could be a host of other things being the reason those women aren't going for you. You can't just go by passive, indirect interactions.

Unless a woman straight up tells you that's the reason (or pretty much hints at it strongly), you shouldn't assume that to be a factor. And if it is, she wasn't worth dating in the first place.

Also: With everyone questioning the OP on how he's been conditioned to be attracted to women of other races.....are y'all for real? The guy is probably American, and we already have the thing of sexing women up in all forms of media. Then considering how most women in (global) media are white, asian, or latino...how is it honestly difficult to not get where the OP is coming from on that? We're all influenced by media, even if just partially.

Hard to have a real discussion with folks ducking around elephants in the room...

 

[Opiate]

Black women are very much interested in white men but I think it's mostly white men who aren't interested.

It could definitely be both, or one could dominate. The little evidence I've seen suggests that if there is a dominant factor, it's that black women would prefer not to date white men, rather than white men preferring not to date black women.

The evidence is extremely scarce, however. Barely better than nothing.

 

[Kuro Madoushi]

Than try dating in your race? Dating is a numbers game, and you're playing with an amputated foot if you're not dating within your race. Yeah your social conditioning isn't really an excuse either.

HAH! Met more than my share of Asian women who want nothing to do with Asian guys, to which they add "no offense"

 

[Slayven]

I zoned in on this and shook my head. No...just no.



He didn't waste any time did he?

Must have google alerts

 

[Cow Mengde]

Everybody is saying white. How do you know OP likes white girls? He never said what his preferences were. All he said was outside of his race. For all we know, he could be attracted to Asian, or Jewish, or whatever. He did say race not skin color that he's attracted to.

 

[kirblar]

If you have one of those hyper-negative dating profiles, it'll do it all on its own. They're gigantic warning signs to stay away.

 

[Slayven]

Everybody is saying white. How do you know OP likes white girls? He never said what his preferences were. All he said was outside of his race. For all we know, he could be attracted to Asian, or Jewish, or whatever. He did say race not skin color that he's attracted to.

The list of white women he put in the OP.

 

[Oxn]

Everybody is saying white. How do you know OP likes white girls? He never said what his preferences were. All he said was outside of his race. For all we know, he could be attracted to Asian, or Jewish, or whatever. He did say race not skin color that he's attracted to.

Come on dont play that game

He went on to name only white women he seen on TV

 

[Cow Mengde]

The list of white women he put in the OP.

Come on dont play that game

He went on to name only white women he seen on TV

Oh... I don't know any of those women he listed.

 

[CharlieDigital]

\All he said was outside of his race. For all we know, he could be attracted to Asian, or Jewish, or whatever.

Is Jewish a race?

 

[Irobot82]

Is this a driveby post? Has OP responded yet? Three pages and no response. Lovely.

 

[Moral Panic]

It could definitely be both, or one could dominate. The little evidence I've seen suggests that if there is a dominant factor, it's that black women would prefer not to date white men, rather than white men preferring not to date black women.

The evidence is extremely scarce, however. Barely better than nothing.

OKCupid disagrees. http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/

Black women write back the most. Whether it’s due to talkativeness, loneliness, or a sense of plain decency, black women are by far the most likely to respond to a first contact attempt. In many cases, their response rate is one and a half times the average, and, overall, black women reply about a quarter more often that other women

Men don’t write black women back. Or rather, they write them back far less often than they should. Black women reply the most, yet get by far the fewest replies. Essentially every race—including other blacks—singles them out for the cold shoulder.

Blacks get fewer responses. We saw this with the straight data, too, and here it’s true of both gay and lesbian senders. Black gay men get over 20% fewer responses than non-blacks, which is about how straight black men fared. Black women, on the other hand, do relatively much better with gays than straights. While they’re still the least replied-to group, the discrepancy is much smaller in the lesbian community.

White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else—and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively. These three types of women only respond well to white men. More significantly, these groups’ reply rates to non-whites is terrible. Asian women write back non-white males at 21.9%, Hispanic women at 22.9%, and white women at 23.0%. It’s here where things get interesting, for white women in particular. If you look at the match-by-race table before this one, the “should-look-like” one, you see that white women have an above-average compatibility with almost every group. Yet they only reply well to guys who look like them. There’s more data on this towards the end of the post.

 

[XenodudeX]

I'll never understand people who just completely writes off whole races of people as potential partners because of skin color. It's not racism for sure, but man is it stupid.

 

[The Abominable Snowman]

Conditioned?

Anyway, improve yourself - dress better, carry yourself better, get in better shape, become a better conversationalist, and place yourself in situations to succeed talking to women. Do local Meetups/Zogsports/etc, go out more, and so on. Don't limit yourself either, and you'll find that you'll get more of what you are looking for simply because your numbers in general are up anyway.

Also: Get braces and make sure your hair/hairline is intact. Bosley has a sale on hair plugs going on now.

nothing wilts my flower more than teeth that pay homage to the New York Skyline

Like I said, its something more than race if girls aren't hitting you back. Face > Race

 

[Opiate]

OKCupid disagrees. http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/

I just cited that exact OkCupid study. As you can see, Okcupid cites black women preferring black men in that exact study. They are the only group of women who do not prefer white men, in fact.

 

[VanquishUK]

Is this a driveby post? Has OP responded yet? Three pages and no response. Lovely.

I imagine he bailed out at around the time that guy pointed out his hypocrisy.

 

[hwalker84]

...being the number one reason women won't date me.

Yeah...this is a bitch fest.

I'm a black male, 40...175lbs. Fit, average looking...who has grown up in the USA watching the likes of Phoebe Cates, Alisa Milano, Joannie...Bo Derek... (sorry for mis-spelling the names)

I've been conditioned to be attracted to women outside my race. Yet, the women outside my race see me first as a color, and not as a man. Sure, there are exceptions...but I'd say that about every 1 out of 10 non black women you see on the street would seriously consider going on a date with a black man.

And I don't think it's wrong for it to rub me the wrong way. (mind you...I don't blame or fault women for having preferences. This is just a bitch fest.

Do you also refer to yourself as a supreme gentleman? You have issues that women pick up on. It ain't the color of your skin brother!

 

[royalan]

WTH???
You are attracted to women outside your race, meaning You base your choice of who you date on colour AND then you moan about women seeing colour first.
Illogical, Ironic, Nonsensical etc...

Grow up son!!!

Well, I might just be putting words in OP's mouth, but I don't think he was trying to be hypocritical here. I think he was more lamenting the fact that black men are socially conditioned to not be attracted to black women. Whereas other people can consider their attraction to certain skin-types/hair/etc as a matter of personal preference, society as a general rule tends to look down on features common amongst black people (darker skin, wide noses, kinky hair, etc) as unattractive. It's a widespread thing -- a LOT of black men aren't attracted to black women, and the sad thing is it runs so deep that most view it as normal, and wouldn't see the hypocrisy in the fact that they're doing to black women exactly what women of other races occasionally do to them.

 

[freenudemacusers]

aside from the weird race hangup, op sounds like every dude who complains the ladies don't holla when they're sitting there with a microscopic range of preferences (or hilariously mismatched standards) thus cutting 90% of the free population out of consideration.

 

[terrisus]

I've been conditioned to be attracted to women outside my race. Yet, the women outside my race see me first as a color

What a strange choice of wording...

Not "My preference is for," but "I've been conditioned to be attracted to?..."

And why are you viewing women first by their color?

 

[tauroxd]

...being the number one reason women won't date me.

Yeah...this is a bitch fest.

I'm a black male, 40...175lbs. Fit, average looking...who has grown up in the USA watching the likes of Phoebe Cates, Alisa Milano, Joannie...Bo Derek... (sorry for mis-spelling the names)

I've been conditioned to be attracted to women outside my race. Yet, the women outside my race see me first as a color, and not as a man. Sure, there are exceptions...but I'd say that about every 1 out of 10 non black women you see on the street would seriously consider going on a date with a black man.

And I don't think it's wrong for it to rub me the wrong way. (mind you...I don't blame or fault women for having preferences. This is just a bitch fest.

Any women who doesn't date you because of the color of your skin (no matther wich one is it) it's not worth it.

 

[tmarques]

Any women who doesn't date you because of the color of your skin (no matther wich one is it) it's not worth it.

Sure, but OP also discriminates based on skin colour, so...

 

[Moral Panic]

I just cited that exact OkCupid study. As you can see, Okcupid cites black women preferring black men in that exact study. They are the only group of women who do not prefer white men, in fact.

I don't understand how you got "it's that black women would prefer not to date white men,", maybe you misread it?

This image clearly shows that with a while male sender, a black women response rate is green. And the text I quoted shows that aswell, that black women have a favourable response to all men and it is incorrect to say that "prefer not" to date white men.

 

[BladeoftheImmortal]

Try being fat. got to try extra hard for anyone to notice you.

 

[sixteen-bit]

Is Jewish a race?

Hmm, is Christian a race?

 

[Mesousa]

Also by 40, surely you would have settled down by now or at least have an extensive dating history. Are you a virgin?

40 is still kind of early to settle down for a guy in the city. With longer life expectancies having kids and getting married at 50 might be the new thing for guys.

 

[GotEmRunnin]

3 pages in and OP has turned into a Ghost. Your skin shouldn't hinder you anymore.

 

[Opiate]

I understand where the OP is coming from. While his wording may not be ideal, it is certainly true that Eurocentric standards of beauty are pervasive not just in the US but worldwide. These standards of beauty are not things people choose consciously but are systematic, subconscious influences on our behavior and our choices.

 

[soundscream]

Luckily GAF ads to the rescue! OP

 

[Ahasverus]

How about skin bleaching? It's not the best solution and I think it's better to be comfortable with your race but, hey, it's your body, you can change it all you want to.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Luckily GAF ads to the rescue! OP

Ummm... I think you just put website link into an img tag.

 

[Opiate]

I don't understand how you got "it's that black women would prefer not to date white men,", maybe you misread it?

This image clearly shows that with a while male sender, a black women response rate is green. And the text I quoted shows that aswell, that black women have a favourable response to all men and it is incorrect to say that "prefer not" to date white men.

I can't view the study, as I'm at work. It's possible I did. I distinctly remember the study showing black women preferring black men to white men.

 

[toweringinferno]

Black women are very much interested in white men but I think it's mostly white men who aren't interested.

Not really I personally know more married white men and black women combo, but I see more white women black men relationships as most of my friends are in relationships with white women. I guess it depends on the demographics of where you are

 

[JimiNutz]

Pisses me off when girls at work try to set black men up with other black girls but never suggest anyone that's white for them to date... And I'm a white guy.

Like if they're trying to set me up with someone theyll list girls of all kinds of races for me to potentially hook up with.
The back guys... They only ever suggest other black girls. Maybe an IndianPakistani girl at best.

I don't even think they realise they do it. It's just built into them (the girls im talking about are all white and grew up in predominantly white neighbourhoods).

 

[Vocal Orgasmizzle]

You're going after the wrong women.

 

[SniperHunter]

You know what to do now

 

[toweringinferno]

You know what to do now

Lool I can't help laughing every time I see this

 

[Verelios]

Is Jewish a race?

Hmm, is Christian a race?

Boom! Seriously, Judaism isn't a racial ethnicity.

 

[jhmtehgamr20xx]

I understand where the OP is coming from. While his wording may not be ideal, it is certainly true that Eurocentric standards of beauty are pervasive not just in the US but worldwide. These standards of beauty are not things people choose consciously but are systematic, subconscious influences on our behavior and our choices.

That may be true but almost none of this may actually be a factor in why the women aren't responding to him, that's a point people seem to keep missing. We're in a society now where whenever something bad happens, it's assumed to be for the worst reason and when it involves people of two different ethnicities, it's assumed to be race-related (or racism).

I think it's just as wrong to jump to that conclusion in situations like this as it is if the women actually turned him away due to his skin color, which noone but the OP would know (and I doubt even they know, they probably never asked the women outright or got a strong hint).

 

[Xplatformer]

Where do you live OP? I'm a black male and I've dated outside of my race several times; my current g/f is Chinese.

Oh...I do.

Ex wife is german american indian, my daughters mom is Mexican American.

Living in Los Angeles though, quite often I frequent mostly hispanic (sorry if that's the wrong term) asian or white circles. And while I'm attracted to any type of woman, the majority of women in my age group who are what I find appealing (shape) are generally white.

Sorry....saying I should look within my race is also a cop out. Duh. I'm not against dating black women. I've been attracted to quite a few. It's just either it's not convenient (distance) or they aren't single.

All my friends are either asian or white btw. It started in high school. I've asked 4 of my white female friends if me being black would be a huge barrier to dating me and they ALL said yes. And they all say I'm an amazing guy. There would be just too much baggage they would have to deal with socially for it to be worth the effort.

That may be true but almost none of this may actually be a factor in why the women aren't responding to him, that's a point people seem to keep missing. We're in a society now where whenever something bad happens, it's assumed to be for the worst reason and when it involves people of two different ethnicities, it's assumed to be race-related (or racism).

I think it's just as wrong to jump to that conclusion in situations like this as it is if the women actually turned him away due to his skin color, which noone but the OP would know (and I doubt even they know, they probably never asked the women outright or got a strong hint).

Ok..you seem to think I'm pulling this out my ass.

I've asked FRIENDS who know me if the skin color would be a barrier of entry and they've all said it would. So, while you may not think it's an issue, yeah...it is.

 

[Opiate]

That may be true but almost none of this may actually be a factor in why the women aren't responding to him, that's a point people seem to keep missing. We're in a society now where whenever something bad happens, it's assumed to be for the worst reason and when it involves people of two different ethnicities, it's assumed to be race-related (or racism).

I think it's just as wrong to jump to that conclusion in situations like this as it is if the women actually turned him away due to his skin color, which noone but the OP would know (and I doubt even they know, they probably never asked the women outright or got a strong hint).

I agree, too many uncontrolled variables in this specific anecdote to reach confident conclusions. Additionally, as already mentioned, the OP is criticizing women for falling victim to the exact same standards of beauty that he openly admits he is a victim of, as well.