[continues]
An indeterminate amount of time had passed.
Sakur-cat had unzipped his fur suit and was fanning himself. He felt the sorrow of the mortals below, and grew more anxious by the second. He could see the souls of Smash fans darkening with despair.
"That's it," Sakur-cat said to himself. "I can't take this anymore."
The 50-foot-tall marble doors to Sakurai's bath chambers swung open. Sakur-cat stood in the doorway, holding them open. Sakurai was bathing in a pool of tears, trickling from the hollow eyes of a demonic statue.
"Oh my god! Is that some kind of shaved squirrel?!" Sakurai screamed.
"I'm your cat," Sakur-cat said, holding up his fur suit in one hand. "Look, this is borderline cruel. When are you going to upload the PotD?"
"Patience, Sakur-cat," said Sakurai, taking a sip of the bathwater.
"Patience?!" Sakur-cat exclaimed. "It may seem like seconds to you, but it's an eternity to them!"
"Look, Sakur-cat," Sakurai said, standing from the tub as an enormous 5-foot-long censor bar followed. "Have you ever seen the first Die Hard?"
"I always get that series mixed up with Lethal Weapon," Sakur-cat.
"Regardless," Sakurai continued. "There was the scene where Hans Gruber was dangling from the rooftop, holding onto the arm of John McClane's love interest. He turns in slow motion and begins to aim the gun at McClane, but ultimately he falls. For a moment, the audience feels safe, thinking the villain is defeated. But then there's one more moment -- one last surprise -- where Gruber's blonde henchman shows up to shoot everyone. But then Carl Winslow from Family Matters shoots him dead, proving he has courage and saving the day."
"Where are you going with this," Sakur-cat asked.
The camera zooms in on Sakurai as he strokes his waxen chin most sensually.
"I... I'm not sure," he replied."
