I had a rare encounter with a racist today.

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That's an interesting idea. Isn't the term 'Jap' thought of as racist largely due the the internment of Japanese-Americans? I wonder if this is something similar.

It's racist because it was a relatively innocuous abbreviation that began to be used pejoratively during WW2. Same for "Nip". It's not really because of internment, but because of the propaganda around the war, which led to things like internment. Words like Kraut and Jerry also took on double-meanings during the war, again fueled by intense propaganda.
 
Oriental isn't as bad as chink or gook but it's not great. I sort of liken it to calling a black person a colored or negro. Maybe not so much said out of hate as much as it's said out of ignorance. Which is why I didn't initially take great offense. What pissed me off was that he'd argue with me over the fact that it's a bullshit term to use to describe a person. That makes me think he's an asshole dick bag. Just using the word in and of itself doesn't automatically make me judge a person as a racist, it makes me judge them as kind of dopey.

This is the thing that always gets to me about people who are using terms or behaviors you find offensive. Initially, it's likely done out of ignorance, often coupled with habit. This is perfectly innocent and no reason for anyone to get upset. A simple correction should be accepted you would think. "Oops, sorry, I didn't realize" and the conversation goes on, no harm no foul. But so often that's not what happens. So many people seem intent to defend, even go to "war" with you over their right to use whatever word, with no regard or interest how that word may harm. I see it all the time in defense of words like "cunt" or "bitch".

Look, nobody has the right to not be offended, but if your intention isn't to be offensive, then why cling so hard to words somebody tells you they find problematic? I don't get it. It's as though some people would rather be complete assholes (while insisting they aren't the one being the asshole) than show a shred common courtesy.
 
Except that's the American (or British?) definition, not the (continental) European one.
The OP isn't continental European, neither was the dad, neither am I, the conversation was in American/British English, and words mean different things in different cultures. If you want to start a thread about what Oriental means in Europe, feel free.

For GAF people in other countries puzzled as to why the word Oriental is weird even though they use it normally, words have connotations in places that don't exist in other places that changes their meaning.
 
Nobody is arguing against that. It clearly is offensive to a lot of Asian Americans.

It's the false equivalence to the n word that is objectionable and inflammatory. Also Americans do not have a monopoly on words and their meanings.

Americans have a monopoly on words and their meanings when used in American culture. If I was in another country where Oriental to describe someone wasn't an offensive term, I might not use it myself, but I can understand the basic idea that the word doesn't carry the same weight and connotation as in does in America. I'd be respectful of that.
 
"that's the excuse racists use" and by the thread title it's not like the OP didn't mean it.

I mean if you're trying to avoid arguments this wasn't exactly a smart move.

Saying "That's the excuse racists use" isn't calling him racist. Shes saying his reasoning is comparable to a racist. Also Just because she calls him a racist in the thread title doesn't mean she called him a racist in the conversation.
 
"that's the excuse racists use" and by the thread title it's not like the OP didn't mean it.

I mean if you're trying to avoid arguments this wasn't exactly a smart move.

She's insinuating that racists use the word, she wasn't calling him racist, but after his meltdown, she did.
 
But was she right to then call him a racist?

At what point did she call him a racist?

Exchange went something like this, remember I'm paraphrasing.

Him: So where are you from?
Me: Illinois/Michigan
Him: *asks questions to find out where I'm REALLY from*
Me: The Philippines.
Him: Yadda Yadda Yadda Orientals. Oriental people. Oriental culture. What are you studying? Orientals.
Me: Oh that's cool. BTW it's no big deal to me but dude Oriental isn't really the preferred nomenclature, Asian Americans, please.
Him: Oh come off it. Oriental isn't offensive. Political correctness people need to stop being so sensitive faaaaaart soooooounds coming out of my moooooouth
Me: Errrr... Not really. BTW i ain't even mad. I was just saying.
Him: OK Google! Is the word oriental offensive to chinks?
Google: According to Wikipedia, kinda.
Him: It's the word I grew up with. Whatever.
Me: That's the argument racists use when they get caught using the word nigger.
Him: Bullshit. Pip pip you're 'avin' a right piss 'ere ain't cha? Why, if we was back in me old neighborhood the lads and I would 'av given you a good bop o'er the 'ed we would. pip pip
Me: I think I'll be leaving now.

Also, why do you feel the need to try and de-legitimize the issue here by insinuating that she called him a racist and that would be wrong?
 
Americans have a monopoly on words and their meanings when used in American culture. If I was in another country where Oriental to describe someone wasn't an offensive term, I might not use it myself, but I can understand the basic idea that the word doesn't carry the same weight and connotation as in does in America. I'd be respectful of that.

As would I. The guy may have felt a bit up against the wall and confused given it does not have the same stigma where he is from but he acted like a jerk all the same.

I am not that fond the word myself (it's very old fashioned and I prefer to be much more specific) but to call him a racist and to compare it to the n word is a bit much. That's all.
 
The OP isn't continental European, neither was the dad, neither am I, the conversation was in American/British English, and words mean different things in different cultures. If you want to start a thread about what Oriental means in Europe, feel free.

For GAF people in other countries puzzled as to why the word Oriental is weird even though they use it normally, words have connotations in places that don't exist in other places that changes their meaning.
Right, but you wrote: "It's been pointed out that Oriental has referred to the Middle East, then South Asia, then finally East Asia as shit got less mysterious for Europeans."

See what I mean? Blaming Europe for the lazy term or racist undertones when we don't even share the same definition makes little sense is what I'm saying.
 
Also, why do you feel the need to try and de-legitimize the issue here by insinuating that she called him a racist and that would be wrong?
Insinuating that someone is racist in their mind is just as bad as outright calling them one. If you're trying to have a calm conversation, which implied by her paraphrasing wasn't exactly all that calm, the last thing you should do is insult the other person, especially when you are informing them that they may be using insulting terms.

The guy clearly didn't realise it was considered offensive in the States, he got egg on his face when his own methods to win the argument back fired on him, there was really no need to take it further.
 
Anybody complaining about political correctness is just mad they receive pushback for saying offensive terms. Somebody like Rush Limbaugh rants about it often. It's a red flag and it is very common even in the toxic online gaming culture that for some reason was discussed on NPR radio this morning. That's how gaming culture went mainstream folks, from the vicious misogyny and racism. Color me not surprised.
 
As would I. The guy may have felt a bit up against the wall and confused given it does not have the same stigma where he is from but he acted like a jerk all the same.

I am not that fond the word myself (it's very old fashioned and I prefer to be much more specific) but to call him a racist and to compare it to the n word is a bit much. That's all.

Jesus Christ can anyone in this thread read? She didn't call him a racist and she didn't compare it to the N word. Yes in the thread title she says he's a racist but she never actually told him he was one to his face. Also she was saying that his logic i.e. "it's not racist because I grew up with it" is an excuse most racists use to defend racist language. She never once said oriental was as bad as the N word.
 
People so eager to use offensive words but don't wanna be called racist.

If a minority tells you something is offensive, I don't give a damn if it hurts your feelings or scares you because "I'm not racist! Don't even imply it!".

News flash, if you have the audacity to think it's okay to tell a minority when and when not to be offended, that's racist mentality and we have the right to let you know that. It's not the same as calling you racist, but if you jump to that and start shoving your privilege in our faces, you just might be that big scary R word.

You don't want to be offended, don't offend others. It's that simple.
 
my two cents about the thread:

this is not a case of racism, it's a case of two stubborn people arguing semantics.

Lets look at the facts:

- Man starts off the conversation asking where the OP is from, OP responds Michigan or Illinois
- Man ignores this and asks where she's REALLY from. This should throw up a red flag, usually bigots dig like this into race or ethnic origin right off the bat instead of accepting the fact that she's an American kid from the midwest. It makes you feel like less of a citizen and more of an outsider, which is bullshit.
- OP explains she is Filipino
- Man starts ranting about 'Orientals' which is an insensitive term to many people, read through the thread for an explanation why
- OP asks man not to refer to her as Oriental, as she would prefer Asian-American
- Man becomes irate and starts trying to tell the OP what she should and shouldn't consider offensive. He tries to validate his jackassery through google but it doesn't work so he pulls the 'I grew up using the word' card
- OP informs man that's the excuse racists usually use to validate their behavior

Explain to me how this doesn't look like a racial issue to you? It's not two people being stubborn, it's one person being an insensitive asshole and the other trying to correct them.

Insinuating that someone is racist in their mind is just as bad as outright calling them one. If you're trying to have a calm conversation, which implied by her paraphrasing wasn't exactly all that calm, the last thing you should do is insult the other person, especially when you are informing them that they may be using insulting terms.

The guy clearly didn't realise it was considered offensive in the States, he got egg on his face when his own methods to win the argument back fired on him, there was really no need to take it further.

No, there is a difference between saying 'hey that's offensive and racist people tend to use those tactics to legitimize their behavior' and 'you are a racist'. The conversation was calm until this guy refused to admit or acknowledge that the word 'Oriental' is indeed offensive to some people because of historical context. Instead of getting defensive and telling the OP what they can and cannot be offended by, he should have apologized and continued the conversation on as normal, that is what rational people do. The OP was subject to this jerks insulting behavior and you're sitting here arguing that she was in the wrong for supposedly calling him racist, which didn't even happen.
 
Jesus Christ can anyone in this thread read? She didn't call him a racist and she didn't compare it to the N word. Yes in the thread title she says he's a racist but she never actually told him he was one to his face. Also she was saying that his logic i.e. "it's not racist because I grew up with it" is an excuse most racists use to defend racist language. She never once said oriental was as bad as the N word.

Come on, it was clearly implied by evoking the n word and in such an emotive situation that's exactly how he took it.

People so eager to use offensive words but don't wanna be called racist.

If a minority tells you something is offensive, I don't give a damn if it hurts your feelings or scares you because "I'm not racist! Don't even imply it!".

News flash, if you have the audacity to think it's okay to tell a minority when and when not to be offended, that's racist mentality and we have the right to let you know that. It's not the same as calling you racist, but if you jump to that and start shoving your privilege in our faces, you just might be that big scary R word.

You don't want to be offended, don't offend others. It's that simple.

I agree 100%.
 
Was the OP stubborn for pressing that the word was hurtful, after being told that it wasn't?

in the way he "pressed", yes.
according to his own post:

He gets down to the point where it says "sometimes offensive" and rather than lose steam he changes his stance from "It's not offensive" to "It's the word I grew up with." I didn't want to get into an argument with the guy but I said "that's the excuse racists use when they use the word nigger." He said I was full of shit and I excused myself from the conversation.

so yeah, I find that way of pressing the issue stubborn and even conflictive, he basically called him a racist when the guy was trying to explain himself as why he was using the word.

The "healthy way" to end that conversation would have been.
-Dude, that's offensive
-Oh, I didn't know, it was the word I grew with.
-Well, I see your point, but please don't use it, it IS offensive.
-Ok.

But both parties were trying stubbornly to "win the argument", and that bit of "that's the excuse racists use" was just looking for trouble.
 
SMH @ everyone quick to call others racist. My friends and I say "nigger" all the time, but we don't mean in it a racist way, it's just another way of calling someone stupid, like "what a nigger haha" if a friend trips and falls. Doesn't make us racist
 
I'm gonna piggy-back on this topic since I want to know people's thoughts on this. Not "RACISM" but sort of...I don't even know. Here we go:

So I had to pick up one of my daughter's friends to bring her over, my daughter was somewhere else and they were gonna hang at our house later. Anyways I pick her up, she's 14 and a freshman in HS. She's in the marching band and I guess they had done a parade earlier that morning in some nearby small town.

So she's telling me about it and then gets to this part about "So then this....THING rides a horse out, it was so awful, it was a dude dressed up like a girl. You know, a SHEMALE. So gross.". Just laughing about it like she saw some circus sideshow.

I stopped her like "hey you can't call people SHEMALE, that's really offensive. It's a transgender person or just "her" or "him" or whatever. Seriously don't say that because you're gonna get knocked out someday or seriously offend somebody. It's like calling a black guy the n-word. Dude has every right to live like a woman or whatever he wants to do."

She got all indignant about it like I was making too big a deal but I felt like I wasn't. I don't even KNOW any transgender people but I know enough that "shemale" or "thing" isn't the proper way to describe someone. Was I off base or no? I told my wife about it and she sort of agreed but said she didn't know if shemale was as offensive to transgender people as the n-word would be to a black person.

tldr: I scolded a 14 year old girl about calling a transgender person a "shemale". Questioned whether I should have done that.
 
SMH @ everyone quick to call others racist. My friends and I say "nigger" all the time, but we don't mean in it a racist way, it's just another way of calling someone stupid, like "what a nigger haha" if a friend trips and falls. Doesn't make us racist

Woooooooooooooow...
 
Lets look at the facts:

- Man starts off the conversation asking where the OP is from, OP responds Michigan or Illinois
- Man ignores this and asks where she's REALLY from. This should throw up a red flag, usually racist people dig like this into race and ethnic origin right off the bat instead of accepting the fact that she's an American kid from the midwest. It makes you feel like less of a citizen and more of an outsider, which is bullshit.
- OP explains she is Filipino
- Man starts ranting about 'Orientals' which is an insensitive term to many people, read through the thread for an explanation why
- OP asks man not to refer to her as Oriental, as she would prefer Asian-American
- Man become irate and starts trying to tell the OP what she should and shouldn't consider offensive. He tries to validate is jackassery through google but it doesn't work so he pulls the 'I grew up using the word' card
- OP informs man that's the excuse racists usually use to validate their behavior

Explain to me how this doesn't look like a racial issue to you? It's not two people being stubborn, it's one person being an insensitive asshole and the other trying to correct them.



No, there is a difference between saying 'hey that's offensive and racist people tend to use those tactics to legitimize their behavior' and 'you are a racist'. The conversation was calm until this guy refused to admit acknowledge that the word 'Oriental' is indeed offensive to some people because of historical context. Instead of getting defensive and telling the OP what they can and cannot be offended by, he should have apologized and continued the conversation on as normal, that is what rational people do. The OP was subject to this jerks insulting behavior and you're sitting here arguing that she was in the wrong for supposedly calling him racist, which didn't even happen.

This is really all that needs to be said. I'm not sure how anyone can disagree.
 
SMH @ everyone quick to call others racist. My friends and I say "nigger" all the time, but we don't mean in it a racist way, it's just another way of calling someone stupid, like "what a nigger haha" if a friend trips and falls. Doesn't make us racist

You and your friends are idiots and yes, it does make you ignorant twats. Can't believe you posted this.
 
in the way he "pressed", yes.
according to his own post:



so yeah, I find that way of pressing the issue stubborn and even conflictive, he basically called him a racist when the guy was trying to explain himself as why he was using the word.

The "healthy way" to end that conversation would have been.
-Dude, that's offensive
-Oh, I didn't know, it was the word I grew with.
-Well, I see your point, but please don't use it, it IS offensive.
-Ok.

But both parties were trying stubbornly to "win the argument", and that bit of "that's the excuse racists use" was just looking for trouble.

One person was trying to educate the other to not use a word that's been used to marginalize her people in the past. The other person was trying to argue for the continued usage of the word just because. Saying they both are to blame implies they were both being assholes when clearly only 1 person was.

Also all the people who keep saying that her saying "that's the excuse racists use" is her escalating it are ignoring the fact the the conversation was escalated by him long before she even said that.

SMH @ everyone quick to call others racist. My friends and I say "nigger" all the time, but we don't mean in it a racist way, it's just another way of calling someone stupid, like "what a nigger haha" if a friend trips and falls. Doesn't make us racist

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO
 
SMH @ everyone quick to call others racist. My friends and I say "nigger" all the time, but we don't mean in it a racist way, it's just another way of calling someone stupid, like "what a nigger haha" if a friend trips and falls. Doesn't make us racist

I see the drool monkey parade has arrived.
 
SMH @ everyone quick to call others racist. My friends and I say "nigger" all the time, but we don't mean in it a racist way, it's just another way of calling someone stupid, like "what a nigger haha" if a friend trips and falls. Doesn't make us racist
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SMH @ everyone quick to call others racist. My friends and I say "nigger" all the time, but we don't mean in it a racist way, it's just another way of calling someone stupid, like "what a nigger haha" if a friend trips and falls. Doesn't make us racist
Fucking ridiculous
 
Also all the people who keep saying that her saying "that's the excuse racists use" is her escalating it are ignoring the fact the the conversation was escalated by him long before she even said that.
I never denied that the father wasn't exactly Prince Charming, but clearly the OP could have used a better rebuttal than the one they used if wanted to avoid escalating it further. They did say "I didn't call him out to start an argument" so they clearly didn't intend this to be a heated argument, but that final insinuation didn't exactly help in this regard.
 
SMH @ everyone quick to call others racist. My friends and I say "nigger" all the time, but we don't mean in it a racist way, it's just another way of calling someone stupid, like "what a nigger haha" if a friend trips and falls. Doesn't make us racist
Say whaaaaaaaaaaat
 
Lets look at the facts:

- Man starts off the conversation asking where the OP is from, OP responds Michigan or Illinois
- Man ignores this and asks where she's REALLY from. This should throw up a red flag, usually racist people dig like this into race and ethnic origin right off the bat instead of accepting the fact that she's an American kid from the midwest. It makes you feel like less of a citizen and more of an outsider, which is bullshit.
- OP explains she is Filipino
- Man starts ranting about 'Orientals' which is an insensitive term to many people, read through the thread for an explanation why
- OP asks man not to refer to her as Oriental, as she would prefer Asian-American
- Man becomes irate and starts trying to tell the OP what she should and shouldn't consider offensive. He tries to validate is jackassery through google but it doesn't work so he pulls the 'I grew up using the word' card
- OP informs man that's the excuse racists usually use to validate their behavior

Explain to me how this doesn't look like a racial issue to you? It's not two people being stubborn, it's one person being an insensitive asshole and the other trying to correct them.

first of all ,the bolded parts are not fact.
the first one is an assumption, and the second one hasn't been stablished clearly in the thread what about the guy said, I just read some "yada yada yadas".

and no, I don't think that's a racial issue (at least not intentionally). I think it's ignorance + rudeness for one party, followed by stubbornness by the other party.


please explain to me something. I'm genuinely curious.

Why is it racist to dig into a people origins?, my sister has some asian facial features and people often ask her if she's japanese... we actually have a japanese great-grandfather and we mention it, and it's usually a good conversation topic. Should we be offended when someone asks?
 
SMH @ everyone quick to call others racist. My friends and I say "nigger" all the time, but we don't mean in it a racist way, it's just another way of calling someone stupid, like "what a nigger haha" if a friend trips and falls. Doesn't make us racist

Wtf is this. That word is not something you should be saying at all in any context.
 
Wtf is this. That word is not something you should be saying at all in any context.

It's just something we all grew up heard using, we don't go around calling black people niggers but if we see someone do something stupid we call them a nigger, regardless of the race. That's why we aren't racists
 
One person was trying to educate the other to not use a word that's been used to marginalize her people in the past. The other person was trying to argue for the continued usage of the word just because. Saying they both are to blame implies they were both being assholes when clearly only 1 person was.

Also all the people who keep saying that her saying "that's the excuse racists use" is her escalating it are ignoring the fact the the conversation was escalated by him long before she even said that.

we're not exactly sure how escalated it was... we're all just reading, the text is meaningless... you read an escalated discussion and a guy being incredibly rude, I just read an ignorant people being stubborn.

I guess that's why we have different views about the strength of the "that's the excuse racists use" thing. I see it like it was uncalled.
 
It's just something we all grew up heard using, we don't go around calling black people niggers but if we see someone do something stupid we call them a nigger, regardless of the race. That's why we aren't racists
Would you say it around people you don't know? Probably not.
Just because you grew up hearing it does not make it okay. That is a terrible word with a lot of history behind it. It should not be thrown around casually. Please stop.
 
I never denied that the father wasn't exactly Prince Charming, but clearly the OP could have used a better rebuttal than the one they used if wanted to avoid escalating it further. They did say "I didn't call him out to start an argument" so they clearly didn't intend this to be a heated argument, but that final insinuation didn't exactly help in this regard.

Ok fine I'll give you that, but people are acting as if this whole situation is %50 percent OP's fault when it's actually more like only %5 her fault. Keep in mind that what OP didn't like is how the guy kept arguing after she told him it was offensive (which occurred before she even said that).

Also IDK about you guys but if someone said I was behaving like a racist I'd be less incline to continue to behave that way instead of more (and proving them right). But that's just me.
 
SMH @ everyone quick to call others racist. My friends and I say "nigger" all the time, but we don't mean in it a racist way, it's just another way of calling someone stupid, like "what a nigger haha" if a friend trips and falls. Doesn't make us racist

Don't use racist words, and if you do it with only certain individuals(which still doesn't make it okay), don't fucking tell others.
 
It's just something we all grew up heard using, we don't go around calling black people niggers but if we see someone do something stupid we call them a nigger, regardless of the race. That's why we aren't racists

You can just PM a mod for a perma-ban. You don't have to post threads where you lie through your teeth, and make blatantly racist posts.
 
we're not exactly sure how escalated it was... we're all just reading, the text is meaningless... you read an escalated discussion and a guy being incredibly rude, I just read an ignorant people being stubborn.

I guess that's why we have different views about the strength of the "that's the excuse racists use" thing. I see it like it was uncalled.

So a word by word transcript of what happened is meaningless (OP Joked around a lot but you still get the jist of it). Also I fail to see how someone speaking out against ignorance also makes her ignorant. The guy was arguing with her well before she even said he was acting like a racist.
 
SMH @ everyone quick to call others racist. My friends and I say "nigger" all the time, but we don't mean in it a racist way, it's just another way of calling someone stupid, like "what a nigger haha" if a friend trips and falls. Doesn't make us racist

Ooooh boy...

herewego.gif
 
first of all ,the bolded parts are not fact.
the first one is an assumption, and the second one hasn't been stablished clearly in the thread what about the guy said, I just read some "yada yada yadas".

and no, I don't think that's a racial issue (at least not intentionally). I think it's ignorance + rudeness for one party, followed by stubbornness by the other party.


please explain to me something. I'm genuinely curious.

Why is it racist to dig into a people origins?, my sister has some asian facial features and people often ask her if she's japanese... we actually have a japanese great-grandfather and we mention it, and it's usually a good conversation topic. Should we be offended when someone asks?

Did I say what you bolded was fact or did I use the word 'usually' in this instance? It's crazy that you're still sitting here claiming this wasn't a racial issue and that the OP was wrong for calling the guy a racist, which didn't even happen.

There's a difference between being genuinely interested in another persons heritage so you can learn about a culture you're unfamiliar with and trying to dig up what ethnicity a person is so you can attempt to make them feel like they don't belong or go on a tirade about 'orientals.' I think it's obvious based off of the information we have that the guy is an insensitive jerk who refused to check his white privilege at the door. Normal people apologize and move on with the conversation in that situation, the OP even initially said it wasn't a big deal. But what did the guy do instead? He tried to tell her what she could and could not be offended by, attempted to validate his racism through google, and then fell back on the 'well I grew up using that word so it's fine' excuse. Does that not sound like a racist to you? In my experience, people like this usually hold some backwards views on race.
 
I had no idea Oriental was an offensive term.

Reading the explanations, I still don't understand why it would be offensive.

But if someone doesn't want to be referred to as Oriental, then that's that. Not my job to decide if or why someone should feel offended. Just respect their feelings and use their preferred word.
 
SMH @ everyone quick to call others racist. My friends and I say "nigger" all the time, but we don't mean in it a racist way, it's just another way of calling someone stupid, like "what a nigger haha" if a friend trips and falls. Doesn't make us racist

Man you're back after making that lying thread about have a girlfriend of 5 years? News flash you lying idiot. If you use the n-word especially like that, you are being offensive and racist.

Edit:Final Boss was banned. He was finally defeated....again. *tear drops*
 
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