Jason Miller The originator of #notyourshield:
Nobody cared who I was until I started #notyourshield. I came home last Friday to a comfy couch, my living room PC, to make a quick post about gamedev to my small but amazing followers and hopefully play some Left 4 Dead 2. With no warning or lead in I see a link on Gamasutra. A site Ive followed since college days declaring Gamers are Dead. another article called The Demise of Gamers. I felt both articles were written so vitriolically, hatefully, if any person in any industry were to write that about their customers or people they must endure daily that person should leave for the health of the industry and their own mental health going forward.
Thats what I posted. I was immediately hit with a barrage of why dont you leave your basement sometime and stop leeching off mommy. I respond miss I have a five bedroom home and perhaps a bit arrogantly a surround sound and gaming PC set up likely more than your annual income. Im grown, Im an audiophile, games enthusiast and I didnt care for being spoken to like an angry child.
Thats how it started. For the days that followed chasing down a rabbit hole of hashtags, youtube videos, Adam Baldwin, deleted posts, figuring out who would and wouldnt talk about all the weirdness that is #gamergate. Im a mid 20s African American originally from one of the poorest, most blighted communities in America, someone not only respected but gives back as often as I can lost my identity and became a white fat, neckbeard dudebro manchild.
I was the enemy. My history was attacked, I was never raised by a single grandmother and worked for my games with calloused hands, I was privileged. I dont understand my own day-to-day struggles anymore or what Im offended by, others would speak for me. I was in deep denial. Shhhhh
theyd actually say. Theres a name for what some of them are implying I was and I wont say it, but its the subject of a famous Malcom X speech along with being defined for modern audiences in Django Unchained, played amazingly by Samuel L Jackson. Ive even seen one with the gall to use it against the entire gaming community.
I had attempted to reach out to other indie devs and people in the industry with no avail. Its been either youre with us, against us, or silence. Twitter is the only place Ive seen open speech. Now Im going to take back a part of my history for a moment to tell you a bit about myself. On the block I grew up, to about every young man that came across her path my Grandmother was known as The Law. She didnt care how big you were, how many people you had with you, if you were doing wrong she let you know and stopped you. She did everything she could to raise me as a man everyday of her life, taught me to stand up for people, pick them up, pick myself back up and got me here today so the next time someone wants to throw out misogynist know there was nobody in my life that taught me patriarchy only right, wrong and when to stand for what was right. I might have been a nerd but Ive never been a coward. She was a straight shooter and so am I.
So as Im looking through all of this I see a woman who made a parody piece on certain gaming personalities who was then harassed, doxxed, threatened to tears. Now that sort of thing lights a fire in me. I know I cant go and punch every person behind a screen but the one thing I can do is say not in my name. If you want to hate, go ahead, insult people, ignore the people you claim to represent but do not claim you do it in the name of justice. What followed Im not really proud of myself I was arguing, fighting, sunk down to their level in a lot of ways. But in some ways I am proud, I was able to throw myself, my work and everything on the table for a human being I had never met. While all the super-progressive people that were supposed to have our best interests stood by and laughed.
It wasnt until one night I saw the other marginalized people fighting too I thought there should be a hashtag. Something like #NotYourShield. I dont have a huge following or a field of influencers to say make it so to around me, just some guys that like mobile games and weird experiments. I didnt expect it would connect and resonate with others that well, the following, articles or videos it was a casual idea, many turned great.
Then came the allegations, it was either 4chans idea or Im in collusion with 4chan whatever. None of that has a hint of truth. I dont mind them using the hashtag because looking at Alexa they have more women there than most of the gaming sites and personalities were rallied against. They have an active lgbt board and users and each one of them deserves a voice. Id rather not see sockpuppets because that hurts the rest of us.
Full disclosure: I have gone to 4chan since these events began and at least when I look I dont see plans for harassment of individuals. Rowdy voices get snuffed out. That might be recent maybe with us joined in. In my opinion calling whats happening harassment is like a criminal calling it harassment when presented with evidence of wrongdoing. All of these different people who dont know each other and wouldnt work together 7 days ago, reading their history some of these sites were at each others necks months ago, didnt band up just to mess up one or two small-name big-ego peoples days and sustain it for a full week. People are jeopardizing careers and livelihoods, taking a side while others are working day and night to call out corruption everything else can sit in the back seat.
We were weaponized minorities, at a better time I might intend to make an fps about that but for right now if anything is being weaponized it is the gaming industry and press vs its customers. They performed a set of actions that caused harm also caused us to band together, indie devs, youtubers, twitters(
tweeters?) redditors, tumblrs, bloggers and yes even 4channers in a way that might render them all but obsolete. If theres a war for people to be imperialized the so-called Social Justice Warriors are the ones singing the White Mans Burden.
We dont know whats best for ourselves because of course we can only legitimately participate in a movement when it fits their world view. The condescension is amazing. The fact that another indie dev who will not be named tweeted that 4chan screenshot, then removed and blocked me for coming with evidence. It was my doing only proves how far these people will go to spin whatever facts come up and I cant abide that. I know whats best for myself, my future and its not with you.
I am really truly sorry in my heart for whatever happened online, in games, to you, your friends and loved ones that made you so
hateful. But I and the thousands and thousands of people are #notyourshield to hide behind.