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[Jordan]

I'm not taking tablets any more. I'll got to the counselling when/if they decide to call me back.

I know how to wean off them sensibly and have been told by a professional, not my own GP but a colleague at most.

I'm being careful, I'm being cautious and I've decided tablets are not for me. They have ruined my life so far and I would rather not continue down this path because it will lead to places I do not want to go. Yes, there might be tablets out there that are right for me, but after my current experience I don't want to go down that road again.

I appreciate the concern and efforts people are going through in my life to try and help me feel a little more relaxed about this whole situation, I truly do. But my mind is set on this and I am not budging on it.

 

[BigEvilTurtle]

Vistaril sucks. All it does is make me sleepy. Doesn't do shit for anxiety.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

Vistaril sucks. All it does is make me sleepy. Doesn't do shit for anxiety.

It's an antihistamine and I got it prescribed for sleep. Drowsiness and the anxiolytic effect happens from slowing down some brain activity in a sense.

 

[BigEvilTurtle]

It's an antihistamine and I got it prescribed for sleep.

I guess I can take it if I experience insomnia. Why did my therapist prescribe it for anxiety? Maybe it works for some people.

 

[Gurthang]

Taking shit ton of pills sucks. I have to take 4 Imuran, 2 Iron Pills, 2 giant calcium pills, one vitamin D and one Wellbutrin for depression. All of them make me nauseous. I have forgotten how it feels like to live without physical and mental pain.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

Yeah, it sucks. My dad is a diabetic with heart issues and some of the meds are pretty rough. But it's worth it.

 

[Symphonia]

I guess I can take it if I experience insomnia. Why did my therapist prescribe it for anxiety? Maybe it works for some people.

It's the age old myth that a good nights sleep can work wonders. I suffer from insomnia, and have done for years, and I was prescribed 7.5mg Zopiclone tablets. The only problem with these is, despite them not even working for me, I continue to take them daily as I've become addicted to them. Not only that but when I don't take it, my body goes into a state of withdrawal - cold sweats, trembling, harder to breathe, and lack of focus. It's bizarre how reliant on medication our bodies and minds can become.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

Regular sleep does do wonders as it helps regulate hormonal levels and other things. Drug induced sleep isn't as good. They promote dependency through rebound insomnia. Plus, the issues with sleep walking.

Bagels would elucidate better on this.

 

[Symphonia]

Regular sleep does do wonders as it helps regulate hormonal levels and other things. Drug induced sleep isn't as good. They promote dependency through rebound insomnia. Plus, the issues with sleep walking.

Aye, as I said, my body has become so reliant on the medication that it just seems to either shut down or becomes unpredictable. I don't think I sleep walk when I do manage to get to sleep as I've always woken up in bed but, well, who knows? On the off chance the Zopiclone do work, I become almost cataconic and totally unresponsive. But, yeah, 8/10 times they won't work so continuing to take them is pointless, but my mind tells me that I and my body need them. It's a vicious cycle.

 

[jb1234]

I have forgotten how it feels like to live without physical and mental pain.

I hear you. The amount of drugs I have in my cabinet is staggering (and most of them don't help much anyway). We're expected to keep pushing forward, I guess even if it mostly feels futile.

 

[demon]

I almost never get good sleep. It's been worse lately and I don't know if it's because of having started Zoloft recently or my crappy bed situation or what. I almost NEVER get more of 2-3 hours of straight sleep. Stuff like melatonin and antihistamenes don't even work anymore, and I'm reluctant to become dependent on something like lunesta/ambien.

 

[ampere]

Taking shit ton of pills sucks. I have to take 4 Imuran, 2 Iron Pills, 2 giant calcium pills, one vitamin D and one Wellbutrin for depression. All of them make me nauseous. I have forgotten how it feels like to live without physical and mental pain.

Maybe see if you can drop the Iron pills? Vitamins with Iron would always make me very nauseous and sometimes make me vomit. If you have low iron maybe there's a food you could use instead

 

[Symphonia]

I almost never get good sleep. It's been worse lately and I don't know if it's because of having started Zoloft recently or my crappy bed situation or what. I almost NEVER get more of 2-3 hours of straight sleep.

I'm lucky to get 1-2 hours a night. On a good week, I get maybe ten hours sleeps. It leaves me emotionally drained which has an effect on everyone.

 

[~Kinggi~]

I have insane anxious anxiety in public its destroyed my life. Its creeping into my work now too and theres not much i can do about it. Soon enough theyll fire me and ill flip the fuck out

 

[Symphonia]

I have insane anxious anxiety in public its destroyed my life. Its creeping into my work now too and theres not much i can do about it. Soon enough theyll fire me and ill flip the fuck out

A company cam't fire you based purely on your anxiety. If they do, they open up a whole tin of legal worms. Talk to your manager about your anxiety and you'll more than likely discover they'll do what they can to support you.

 

[Piano]

Vistaril sucks. All it does is make me sleepy. Doesn't do shit for anxiety.

I guess I can take it if I experience insomnia. Why did my therapist prescribe it for anxiety? Maybe it works for some people.

It does work for some people. For me it sort of helped with nighttime anxiety but mostly just made me sleep super hard.

I still take them now and then if I'm having trouble sleeping due to anxiety. Honestly, I really like having a sleep / anxiety solution around that's very safe and non habit forming.

A company cam't fire you based purely on your anxiety. If they do, they open up a whole tin of legal worms. Talk to your manager about your anxiety and you'll more than likely discover they'll do what they can to support you.

This. Get allies in the workplace. It helped my workplace anxiety tremendously. One of my supervisors didn't understand but the other one did and knowing that I could talk to him if I needed to was a huge relief.

 

[Windam]

I have my first exam this Friday. My second is next Tuesday (the 9th). I'm so worn out and exhausted and out of motivation that I have not begun studying for either of them.

 

[Lonely1]

Is anyone up to chatting right now? I really feel like shit atm. Please...

 

[CheesecakeRecipe]

I've been doing really well at keeping myself together lately.

Tonight, I forsee a very long and desolate night ahead. I've been teetering on the edge all day, managing to pull myself from breaking down just long enough. But I don't think I'm going to make it all the way through. Stay strong, everyone. Even when I can't manage it for myself.

 

[darthbob]

Have a job interview on Saturday... I'm at my wits end, if I can't get this job I don't know what I'm going to do.

Nothing has gone my way this year. My previous job was soul crushing so I quit, got denied unemployment, all my previous job interviews haven't led anywhere. I just wanna die.

 

[Symphonia]

Is anyone up to chatting right now? I really feel like shit atm. Please...

I've been doing really well at keeping myself together lately.

Tonight, I forsee a very long and desolate night ahead. I've been teetering on the edge all day, managing to pull myself from breaking down just long enough. But I don't think I'm going to make it all the way through. Stay strong, everyone. Even when I can't manage it for myself.

Have a job interview on Saturday... I'm at my wits end, if I can't get this job I don't know what I'm going to do.

Nothing has gone my way this year. My previous job was soul crushing so I quit, got denied unemployment, all my previous job interviews haven't led anywhere. I just wanna die.

If any of you wish to vent, please feel free to message me. We're all in the same boat in this thread.

Stay strong, guys.

 

[King Tubby]

I've dealt with depression for several years now. It really started hitting me in high school, and although I've thankfully learned how to manage it somewhat since then (without medication for about 2 years now) the black dog still takes me for a walk sometimes and I have to fight it off.

The past couple of days it's been hitting me harder. Maybe it's a combination of loneliness, stress from work, and poor sleep. I just really have to fight those urges to throw in the towel on life. It comes and goes but damn it's hard to work through sometimes when you have to be on your A-game.

 

[Ashes]

The hardest thing sometimes is to get some real perspective on the issue.
Sometimes just taking time out, and thinking about the positives, helps. Sometimes in the short term. And some times on the long run.

 

[BigEvilTurtle]

Spoke with an intake counselor to go back on medication. She assessed my mental health and heavily implied (technically stated) I could be suffering with, not only depression and generalized anxiety, but also some form of bipolar disorder. Which makes sense because when I'm not medicated I have extreme mood swings ranging from depression, anxiety, and disproportionate anger... to jubilation, hopefulness, extreme focus and intent, and serenity.

Unfortunately I'm not scheduled to be scheduled (yes, I know) to speak to a psychiatrist about receiving medication for about a month. I don't know how much longer I can handle these low periods... I just want to be normal.

 

[SugarDave]

Went back to the doctor's again today to chase up what's going on with the counselling they referred me to, and I wanted to see if they'd prescribe me anything because I'm really having trouble getting through the days lately. They didn't give me anything, just a number to check with this counselling place. The letter for my appointment happened to arrive today anyway. I'm not convinced this is something I want to do though having looked it up now. It seems to be less of a one-to-one type thing and more of an agency aimed at arranging activities and such for you to participate in. That's not what I want at all. For one, I just don't have the energy for it, it'll probably end up causing problems with work if the appointments are awkward, and honestly, all I can bring myself to do when not at work is just sit on my arse and hope I can get some sleep.

I'm not sure I'm going to last the next 7 months I have at this job anyway. I don't know what it is about the last fortnight or so where I just feel dead. I'm barely sleeping (and then I'll suddenly sleep 20 hours like I did last weekend) and people are increasingly asking if I'm alright at work so it clearly shows. I had a week off a little bit ago and when I came back one of my colleagues just straight up asked "What the hell's happened to you?"

It's all shit.

 

[demon]

Well I went to my therapy appointment today. Guess who didn't go to my therapy appointment.. my therapist. He normally doesn't do Thursday mornings but he made an exception for me because it's so hard for me to find time with my work schedule. After waiting for 20 minutes I called his cell and he'd totally forgotten about it because his stepdaughter is having a baby. He profusely apologized, but man.... stood up by my own therapist.

 

[User 479360]

I think I've had some sort of food poisoning over the last two days, because I've felt pretty shitty. Tired and nauseated with an upset stomach, but not a terrible one.

I got A&W the other night, and I'm not sure if they cooked the chicken burger as well as they should've.

 

[kiyomi]

Talked to someone I've been avoiding today, not sure if that was a mistake or not. Like I felt good for a minute, then worse again after. I'm not sure what the endgame is here anyway. I may end up just shutting everyone out but then what would I do. If only I weren't so needy and childish, I wouldn't worry and stress over stupid shit that is probably all in my head.

Why do you think you're shutting people out? What do you think is motivating that?

Everyone has needs and it's okay to accept that you have them, too. Perhaps by - instead of pushing people out - you can let them in by explaining what your needs and wants are. 'Cause nobody can help you or change the way they act to you if you don't show them you aren't just being an asshole, that you have your needs. If people you're close to don't show some kind of respect to that, then maybe they're not worth your time, y'know?

I struggle with the push-pull of friendships every day, and it fucking sucks. For every push you make you want someone to pull you, you want that balance, to want and to feel wanted. But when that equilibrium is undone, your head starts spinning and that's where it hurts the most. You make an effort with someone; you don't get back what you felt you needed, it hurts. You see someone reach out to you and you don't pay it back, and you feel like you're shutting them out. And that hurts like a bitch, too.

Lastly, get rid of the phrase "if only" from your vocabulary:

Aging is a process of letting go. We learn to give up our attachment to the 'I will be happy when' mentality and appreciate what we have in this moment.

 

[Symphonia]

I can't do this anymore. I feel worthless with each passing day. All I ever get is ridicule. I get it, I'm weak. I'm pathetic. I can't go on like this.

 

[jb1234]

I struggle with the push-pull of friendships every day, and it fucking sucks. For every push you make you want someone to pull you, you want that balance, to want and to feel wanted. But when that equilibrium is undone, your head starts spinning and that's where it hurts the most. You make an effort with someone; you don't get back what you felt you needed, it hurts. You see someone reach out to you and you don't pay it back, and you feel like you're shutting them out. And that hurts like a bitch, too.

Yeah, I fight with this too, especially the feeling that I've been putting more into some friendships than I've been getting back. It becomes this massive see-saw, where the balance flips back and forth but never quite settles at a leveled point. It's very unsettling and often, painful.

 

[zeemumu]

This alone feeling sucks. I know from an outside perspective I'm not alone because I do have friends and I know that they would be willing to talk if I needed to, but I know that all I will get from the conversation is "I'm sorry" and "I know what you mean" and on top of that I don't want to vent to them too much because I don't want to lower their opinion of me, and I know they say it won't lower their opinion of me but I still feel like it's affecting their behavior towards me, and I don't want to turn my friendships into pity friendships. I also don't want them to feel like I'm saying that they're not enough because I still feel alone even when I'm around friends, so it basically makes me unwilling to speak to anyone fully because no one has a definite answer to help me and I don't want to ruin any friendships, but honestly I can't expect a definite answer anyway. It's not the flu. So talking just started feeling useless to me and I'm in that constant state of nothing because I'm not happy but I don't think that I'm allowed to be sad, either, and it won't go away. I'm getting a little tired of playing feels tennis with myself, going back and forth between "I'm hopeless" and "I'll be okay". I bring this up now because I feel like this is the reason that I get so upset when I'm around my friends. It's not because they're bad friends, or I'm a bad friend, or any of that. It's because I look at them and get the impression that I'm nothing, or hopeless. And I know what I should be doing: I should be getting out more and putting myself out there, but everything right now is in a process and there isn't enough progress to make me feel like the sadness I'm going through during the process is worth the end result.

I apologize if this doesn't make any sense. My brain's a bit jumbled. I didn't have time to clear my head while I was sitting outside because I live in a coyote-heavy area and I could hear them rustling around in the bushes so I had to head home.

 

[ampere]

Well I went to my therapy appointment today. Guess who didn't go to my therapy appointment.. my therapist. He normally doesn't do Thursday mornings but he made an exception for me because it's so hard for me to find time with my work schedule. After waiting for 20 minutes I called his cell and he'd totally forgotten about it because his stepdaughter is having a baby. He profusely apologized, but man.... stood up by my own therapist.

Damn. He's only human, but that's not a fun experience since you are kind of relying on him for support

 

[Kater]

I just cut myself again because I don't have money. It's still some time until I get a new job and I just can't find anything to spend time on. Not games or anything else (like a bf I could talk it out with). I am getting drunk alone in my flat and I'm considering everything but this life at the moment.

I just wish I could end it all without ending my life. Yes, it's really weird. Welcome to my life.

I have Borderline personality disorder or what European psychiatrists consider to be "emotionally unstable personality disorder" nowadays.

 

[Polydeuces]

so in the end i couldnt finish the assignment.... so pissed right now because i asked for an extension and now its another chunk gone. fml Still reluctant to ask idk what im scared of.
Well onto study for my 1st exam on monday.

 

[Psychoward]

Is 50mg of Zoloft really enough to negatively impact my sexuality? Been on it for about a month now daily, (weight 145 pounds) and I recieved oral last weekend for the first time and it took me quite a while (20-25 minutes) to climax from the start of oral, but I had masturbated earlier that morning so I figured that was it. I didn't jack it at all since then, and I was just hooking up with my girlfriend for an hour and a half (oral) and still absolutely could not finish. Yet right now I have a really bad case of blue balls. I don't want to lower it because I recognize that it has helped me and if anything I should increase it because my motivation lately has been shit, but at the same time if it's screwing with my newfound sex life this much....

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Depression sucks

 

[Collete]

^^^^ It does suck. *fist bump*

I did some art recently while being ridiculously depressed. Learned how to draw a stag and smoke and decided to combine the two:

Smoke Stag

Spoiler

Honestly it looks better if you copy the image location and look at it from a separate tab

 

[99hertz]

That's awesome. It reminds me of Hannibal (the tv show).

 

[DevelopmentArrested]

About one year, started having horrible anxiety attacks along with headaches and massive depression. Been on effexor for 2 months now (75mg). Its killed my anxiety completely and helped my mood but im still like 7/10 what I used to be and I hate not being able to drink. My memory is still crap but at least my brain fog has cleared for the most part. Still feel weird and kind of like a zombie but at least the derealization is mostly gone. Guess ill stick with it since i heard coming off it is an absolute bitch.

 

[Pau]

Is 50mg of Zoloft really enough to negatively impact my sexuality? Been on it for about a month now daily, (weight 145 pounds) and I recieved oral last weekend for the first time and it took me quite a while (20-25 minutes) to climax from the start of oral, but I had masturbated earlier that morning so I figured that was it. I didn't jack it at all since then, and I was just hooking up with my girlfriend for an hour and a half (oral) and still absolutely could not finish. Yet right now I have a really bad case of blue balls. I don't want to lower it because I recognize that it has helped me and if anything I should increase it because my motivation lately has been shit, but at the same time if it's screwing with my newfound sex life this much....

My experience with anti-depressants and sex has not been the greatest. The worst was when I just started and it got better about a month or two in. But my sex drive still isn't close to what it used to be.

 

[darthbob]

Had my first interview in months today, I hope it ends up leading to something.

 

[ampere]

Is 50mg of Zoloft really enough to negatively impact my sexuality? Been on it for about a month now daily, (weight 145 pounds) and I recieved oral last weekend for the first time and it took me quite a while (20-25 minutes) to climax from the start of oral, but I had masturbated earlier that morning so I figured that was it. I didn't jack it at all since then, and I was just hooking up with my girlfriend for an hour and a half (oral) and still absolutely could not finish. Yet right now I have a really bad case of blue balls. I don't want to lower it because I recognize that it has helped me and if anything I should increase it because my motivation lately has been shit, but at the same time if it's screwing with my newfound sex life this much....

Hm it can be hard to figure that out. Try seeing if you are able to masturbate alone normally without changing your dosage? Perhaps you can narrow down if it's anxiety rather than a drug interaction, although the drug might be the cause

^^^^ It does suck. *fist bump*

I did some art recently while being ridiculously depressed. Learned how to draw a stag and smoke and decided to combine the two:

https://33.media.tumblr.com/7e829d5cb7744cd51d2fbc984b6a6e03/tumblr_ng6mne1GL01sjx7hbo1_1280.jpg[IMG]

[I]Smoke Stag[/I]

[spoiler] Honestly it looks better if you copy the image location and look at it from a separate tab [/spoiler][/QUOTE]
Very cool. Do you draw on a tablet?

 

[Collete]

Very cool. Do you draw on a tablet?

I do! I have a wacom tablet, specifically this one: https://store.wacom.com/us/en/product/CTH680/

It can be finicky sometimes, where it lags on input, but it's a really good tablet otherwise.

Software is this: http://www.artrage.com/

 

[Polydeuces]

Just realized a huge pain near the sides of my head just above my ears. Im massaging them now and now I feel better. I wished I had known his before 1 day before my first exam :/

 

[MisterLuffy]

I hate that whenever I get advices from my brother, my couselor, and gaffers, to try and change myself to be in the better position of my life, I do the opposite of not doing anything at all. I even tell myself that I want to change, that I need to do this and need to do that, and try to accomplish something that would make me happy. I acknowledge the fact that it's never going to happen. It's like saying that I want to go to gym to lose weight since I hate my body weight, yet it's just words coming out of my mouth or in my head. It's why this type of mentality will never get me anywhere in life. How can I accomplish something if I'm not trying?

 

[Ashes]

I hate that whenever I get advices from my brother, my couselor, and gaffers, to try and change myself to be in the better position of my life, I do the opposite of not doing anything at all. I even tell myself that I want to change, that I need to do this and need to do that, and try to accomplish something that would make me happy. I acknowledge the fact that it's never going to happen. It's like saying that I want to go to gym to lose weight since I hate my body weight, yet it's just words coming out of my mouth or in my head. It's why this type of mentality will never get me anywhere in life. How can I accomplish something if I'm not trying?

Well, first thing's first, you have to go easy on your self.
I think it's absolutely wonderful, that you do want to change your self for the better. Far to many of us want to waste away in our gloomy pits. Sometimes, not even out of choice.

You have to think long term as well. Sleep well.

 

[Watcher]

I hate that whenever I get advices from my brother, my couselor, and gaffers, to try and change myself to be in the better position of my life, I do the opposite of not doing anything at all. I even tell myself that I want to change, that I need to do this and need to do that, and try to accomplish something that would make me happy. I acknowledge the fact that it's never going to happen. It's like saying that I want to go to gym to lose weight since I hate my body weight, yet it's just words coming out of my mouth or in my head. It's why this type of mentality will never get me anywhere in life. How can I accomplish something if I'm not trying?

Depression is so so soooo difficult. Im the same way. I have no will or desire to do anything. Barely even have the will to live

 

[Mr. F]

House hunting has me very stressed, and living back home has had me slipping back into shitty habits that I was going through in my worst phases of depression. Feel like my progress is slipping away from me, it's scary.

 

[Scarecrow]

So, earlier this year I went to see a psych for anxiety and we eventually started me on a daily Escitalopram dose. I was in this thread earlier in the year and I described how it has given me some sexual side effects (loss of interest, hard to maintain erections, 'finish'). For a while those side effects became less intense and I was even able to maintain a healthy relationship with a cool chick.

Now I'm running into the prob again. I just moved to China about 3 months ago to teach english. Recently I've managed to hook up with one of the other foreign teachers. But when we start gettin hot and heavy, I just kind of fizzle out. It's very frustrating.

So, seeing as my meds are close to running low, I'm thinking if I should just drop the Escitalopram altogether. I'm wondering if that's a terrible idea, what with being half a planet away from my usual comfort levels. But, these side effects are damn unacceptable.

If I DO drop my medicine, what's the safest way to go about doing so? Cold turkey? Tapering off? Are my anxiety symptoms likely to return with a vengeance?

 

[Kakusaizou]

Ten years out of high school and I'm just now beginning to accept it. Life sucks balls infinitely when you have to constantly fight and do things just to keep yourself emotionally well.

I just wrecked my motorcycle a couple of weeks ago. What was going through my head as my bike fell over at 50mph? Relief. The thought of no longer having to worry and drudge through a pointless life...actually felt good. But I only walked away from the accident with a fractured arm, pity.

*sigh*