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[Scarecrow]

Ten years out of high school and I'm just now beginning to accept it. Life sucks balls infinitely when you have to constantly fight and do things just to keep yourself emotionally well.

I just wrecked my motorcycle a couple of weeks ago. What was going through my head as my bike fell over at 50mph? Relief. The thought of no longer having to worry and drudge through a pointless life...actually felt good. But I only walked away from the accident with a fractured arm, pity.

*sigh*

What kind of bike do/did you have? This past summer, I took a 1000 mile road trip up to my dad's place so he could look after my Honda Shadow while I'm away from the states. 3 flat tires and my engine overheated ):[ All this on the weekend when the repair shops weren't open.

 

[pfkas]

Escitalopram is great for anxiety, but yeah - sexual side effects can suck. You might be able to get some meds to counteract that - Cialis or whatever. When you come off it, I found that I got palpatations and brain 'zaps' which were disconcerting but ultimately benign.

 

[ceramic]

Was going to play sports today but psyched myself out.

It is a general racquet sports meet-up where people get together and play against varied opposition. It seemed like a good way to meet new people and start a new hobby.

The problem is that I have little previous experience playing. I didn't want to ruin somebody's day by providing no opposition. I know that some of the people that go there are very good and play semi-professionally.

Where do you go if you want to start a new sport but haven't really played it before? I should probably find courses specifically for newcomers but can't find any.

Am I being reasonable for pulling out of this meet-up or does it sound like I'm letting my anxiety get the better of me?

 

[hunchback]

I hate that whenever I get advices from my brother, my couselor, and gaffers, to try and change myself to be in the better position of my life, I do the opposite of not doing anything at all. I even tell myself that I want to change, that I need to do this and need to do that, and try to accomplish something that would make me happy. I acknowledge the fact that it's never going to happen. It's like saying that I want to go to gym to lose weight since I hate my body weight, yet it's just words coming out of my mouth or in my head. It's why this type of mentality will never get me anywhere in life. How can I accomplish something if I'm not trying?

This post describes me also. There are thing's that I must do but I don't follow through on. Is this normal? I have been accused of not wanting to get better but that is not true. It just feels like there is always a roadblock in place that presents me from making myself feel better. Thank you for the above post. I have been struggling for words to describe my situation.

 

[ceramic]

I hate that whenever I get advices from my brother, my couselor, and gaffers, to try and change myself to be in the better position of my life, I do the opposite of not doing anything at all. I even tell myself that I want to change, that I need to do this and need to do that, and try to accomplish something that would make me happy. I acknowledge the fact that it's never going to happen. It's like saying that I want to go to gym to lose weight since I hate my body weight, yet it's just words coming out of my mouth or in my head. It's why this type of mentality will never get me anywhere in life. How can I accomplish something if I'm not trying?

The key is to identify what is causing the roadblocks that prevent you from taking action.

My counselor instructed me to write down everything that went through my head when I failed to do something I had set out to. For example, I failed to go to this racquet sports meetup today because I feared inadequacy and negative judgement and rejection, and feeling out of place. Then I feedback my fears to my counselor and we find ways to overcome them.

Maybe that's something you should try? Or is it something you already know but don't know how to overcome?

 

[Psychoward]

My experience with anti-depressants and sex has not been the greatest. The worst was when I just started and it got better about a month or two in. But my sex drive still isn't close to what it used to be.

My sex drive is lower too, but it's at a level where I'm not bothered by it on a day to day basis, I still get turned on but I don't get crazy. When I'm with my girlfriend though I still have a normal sex drive and all that.

Hm it can be hard to figure that out. Try seeing if you are able to masturbate alone normally without changing your dosage? Perhaps you can narrow down if it's anxiety rather than a drug interaction, although the drug might be the cause

I am able to get off myself, but I realize it takes a lot longer than it used to and I have to be more in the mood for it. However I was just over at her house yesterday and we were making out/oral/cuddling for houuuuuuurs and I didn't cum once. I'm gonna call my psychiatrist today and see what's up, hopefully it gets better soon.

 

[Symphonia]

All-time low tonight.

*TRIGGER WARNING*

Spoiler

I actually feel like curling up and dying. I want the workd to swallow me. I haven't slept properly for a month. My mood is just...urgh. My meds are not helping. I'm addicted to them though, and booze too. My arms are a mess right now. I don't want to go on.

I'm sorry.

 

[User 479360]

I need to watch how much I try to help sometimes. Went out to try to get a disabled family member in from the vehicle, because my old man was busy, but I can never get the one part of her straps off. Figured I'd try, but couldn't as I'm a klutz and suck at hands-on things.

Now he's on to me about being a useless failure. 'tis always fun.

 

[Polydeuces]

Already feeling the exam anxiety, didnt really practice alot. I think I have tension headaches. Tried a tylenol then realized thee dry throat side effect. Still having the annoying pain when trying to massage my temple area. I just want all my exams over with.. then breakdown until I got nothing left in me. Motivational videos dont really help, gettin the kick in the head attitude rarely is working, and I cant catch a break without having thoughts of guilt of not studying.

Ugh. :/

 

[Collete]

Think my undiagnose PTSD is flaring up...Having a lot of things haunt me and an extreme avoidance of things...so weak...How pathetic...

 

[Symphonia]

im a littlr drunk now. i cant do it anymore. i dont know what to do. im scared.

 

[MisterLuffy]

Well, first thing's first, you have to go easy on your self.
I think it's absolutely wonderful, that you do want to change your self for the better. Far to many of us want to waste away in our gloomy pits. Sometimes, not even out of choice.

You have to think long term as well. Sleep well.

Depression is so so soooo difficult. Im the same way. I have no will or desire to do anything. Barely even have the will to live

I've always been hard on myself. Even at school. I also waste time doing nothing but browsing on the internet. Depression sucks because it affects me a lot in my life. It affects my mentality, I sometimes feel animosity, I procrastinate a lot, and makes me feel like giving up on myself.

This post describes me also. There are thing's that I must do but I don't follow through on. Is this normal? I have been accused of not wanting to get better but that is not true. It just feels like there is always a roadblock in place that presents me from making myself feel better. Thank you for the above post. I have been struggling for words to describe my situation.

The key is to identify what is causing the roadblocks that prevent you from taking action.

My counselor instructed me to write down everything that went through my head when I failed to do something I had set out to. For example, I failed to go to this racquet sports meetup today because I feared inadequacy and negative judgement and rejection, and feeling out of place. Then I feedback my fears to my counselor and we find ways to overcome them.

Maybe that's something you should try? Or is it something you already know but don't know how to overcome?

I always tell myself that I'm the reason for not taking action to achieve something that would make me feel happy and productive. It's fear and concern. I was stoked when I got an interview at Target recently and was hoping that I would get hired. But when I watched their video on customer services, I started to feel worried. At that point, I was hoping I didn't get the job. I didn't get the job anyways, either they were demanding hours from me or I screwed up on the interview. So my roadblock is myself.

 

[enigmatic_alex44]

removed for privacy

 

[Kater]

Feeling the blues right now.

Got a little bit drunk after my mum came by train to the city I now live in. I don't have that much money so we went and bought some cleaning stuff and some food for me. Felt like a total loser, a leech. It's still some time until I can start a new job and in the meantime I'm left with this feeling of... uselessness, I guess?
Now I'm really down and all, like I can't even look people in the eyes or else they see that I'm poor.

Another thing completely are my arms who look like cutting boards by now. I can't stand them anymore. So many flashbacks I get just by looking at them.

 

[Aurongel]

I need help, horribly depressed and I feel like I'm dying. Final exam week is killing me and I feel like an awful person. I feel so ashamed of myself and I just don't know what to do. I feel like everything I've done is for nothing and I'm just lost.

Anyone I can PM or talk to?

 

[HGStormy]

I'm gonna go.

 

[Mr. F]

I need help, horribly depressed and I feel like I'm dying. Final exam week is killing me and I feel like an awful person. I feel so ashamed of myself and I just don't know what to do. I feel like everything I've done is for nothing and I'm just lost.

Anyone I can PM or talk to?

Shoot me one if you like.

 

[Echelon079]

I think I said this before, split from my wife in September of last year. Loved it. I was happy with what little I had, was seeing people and having a good time. Never really started taking the medication that my therapist suggested because I've been fighting depression since the third grade. I'm 35 now. Met an awesome, hot girl and we started a relationship and everything changed.

I fell back into all my old habits and thoughts from my abusive relationship with my wife and I completely changed from a happy go lucky one day at a time guy to just absolutely miserable. It's pretty much killing my relationship which really sucks because this girl is totally amazing.

I'm hoping to start seeing my therapist again soon and get back on medication. I just thought I didn't need it. Now I'm fucked and worry about the smallest of things, working 60 hours a week and we barely see each other.

She says I'm a totally different person than when we met.

 

[Blackquill]

Hi, I lurked this thread a bit when I wasn't registered and I always thought it would be cool to post a bit about myself even though I'm new here. But it's the perfect place for me to talk about myself since it's very far for everyone I knew.

I think I become heavily depressed 4 years ago when I repeated a year for the second time in middle school / high school (it's only one school in my country) for a unfair reason. Since this year, I felt like really shit. I was in classes with students way younger than me, people I knew were much more advanced in school and I began to arguing with teachers who make me repeated this year. Having two years of delay was too unbearable for me so the last years at school were really horrible and I became more and more lazy at the point I do absolutely nothing in class and at house. I still managed to make it out of this...

But during these summer holidays, I realized my life was worse than I thought. I have absolutely no friends, I had a few before my depression but they disappeared after that. Never had a girlfriend of course and the only people I see are my brother, sister and mother, that's all. More than that, I was absolutely bored and I did not even feel like playing. Needless to say I was looking forward to see what college look like.

Huge. Disappointement. Really huge. I don't even know if I chose the right option (even though I changed my mind three times) and more than that, lesson are really boring as hell. Can't even listen more than five minutes. Exams are coming and I don't even know what I must study and eve if I knew I will nSiot be in the mood to study. I don't want to repeat a year again, but seriously, I can't, I really can't.

Since october, I go to each two weaks to a psychologist in order to help me find a way to be less bored, to have the desire to do something, anything. I also take each day for more than a month a medicine called "wellbutrin". Didn't feel any effect so far...

Anyway, I hope this isn't harsh to read, I can write correctly two or three lines without a typo but I don't really write often so much in English ^^

 

[Collete]

I need help, horribly depressed and I feel like I'm dying. Final exam week is killing me and I feel like an awful person. I feel so ashamed of myself and I just don't know what to do. I feel like everything I've done is for nothing and I'm just lost.

Anyone I can PM or talk to?

Might be a bit late, but you can also contact me as well.
I might be a bit late responding though.

 

[Lonely1]

Think my undiagnose PTSD is flaring up...Having a lot of things haunt me and an extreme avoidance of things...so weak...How pathetic...

Why do you believe you suffer from PTSD? Sound worrying, but avoidance is a natural respond to manage anxiety.

 

[User 479360]

I don't really have anything helpful to post for the above posters, other than good luck. Seek help if you need it, and know that we're here if you'd like to talk.

A question:

A local, not-for-profit (healthcare isn't paid here anyways, it's free) mental healthcare facility has its own dental clinic. Apparently it's for patients only. I can be referred there, and I'm thinking about it as an out-patient.

Do you think that the dental care would be free? I have several cavities but no benefits to get them fixed with, and may not be able to get disability for another year or more.

 

[Collete]

Why do you believe you suffer from PTSD? Sound worrying, but avoidance is a natural respond to manage anxiety.

Just the fact a few things in the past have been haunting me over and over to the point I get extreme anxiety or depression with even the slightest trigger.
Sometimes I relive a few events in my life because of a trigger and I'm immediately anxious, depressed, etc.
There's some other symptoms I don't want to really bring up but...I'm quite sure it's an undiagnosed PTSD.

 

[MisterLuffy]

My instructor posted the final. I think I'm going to fail it because I have no idea what to write about with less information I have. Also with little notes I have because of my incompetent note takings. I don't expect myself to finish in 10 days, should've posted the final right after taking my second exam of that class.

Edit: nvm I'm just overreacting.

 

[demon]

Ever read through a gaf thread that makes you incredibly depressed?

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=948310

yeah. are there any special rules for dating in your 30s when you've never been on a date in your life?

 

[ampere]

Hi, I lurked this thread a bit when I wasn't registered and I always thought it would be cool to post a bit about myself even though I'm new here. But it's the perfect place for me to talk about myself since it's very far for everyone I knew.

I think I become heavily depressed 4 years ago when I repeated a year for the second time in middle school / high school (it's only one school in my country) for a unfair reason. Since this year, I felt like really shit. I was in classes with students way younger than me, people I knew were much more advanced in school and I began to arguing with teachers who make me repeated this year. Having two years of delay was too unbearable for me so the last years at school were really horrible and I became more and more lazy at the point I do absolutely nothing in class and at house. I still managed to make it out of this...

But during these summer holidays, I realized my life was worse than I thought. I have absolutely no friends, I had a few before my depression but they disappeared after that. Never had a girlfriend of course and the only people I see are my brother, sister and mother, that's all. More than that, I was absolutely bored and I did not even feel like playing. Needless to say I was looking forward to see what college look like.

Huge. Disappointement. Really huge. I don't even know if I chose the right option (even though I changed my mind three times) and more than that, lesson are really boring as hell. Can't even listen more than five minutes. Exams are coming and I don't even know what I must study and eve if I knew I will nSiot be in the mood to study. I don't want to repeat a year again, but seriously, I can't, I really can't.

Since october, I go to each two weaks to a psychologist in order to help me find a way to be less bored, to have the desire to do something, anything. I also take each day for more than a month a medicine called "wellbutrin". Didn't feel any effect so far...

Anyway, I hope this isn't harsh to read, I can write correctly two or three lines without a typo but I don't really write often so much in English ^^

Thanks for sharing. Best of luck with school and I would say keep going to the therapist and hopefully they can help you over time. Things don't always get better immediately.

I don't really have anything helpful to post for the above posters, other than good luck. Seek help if you need it, and know that we're here if you'd like to talk.

A question:

A local, not-for-profit (healthcare isn't paid here anyways, it's free) mental healthcare facility has its own dental clinic. Apparently it's for patients only. I can be referred there, and I'm thinking about it as an out-patient.

Do you think that the dental care would be free? I have several cavities but no benefits to get them fixed with, and may not be able to get disability for another year or more.

Not sure about that situation, maybe you could call and ask? One other way to get cheap dental care could be to go to a college/dental school. I know that might sound odd, but I've heard the you can have dental cleanings done cheaply at the local university here. No idea if they also do cavity work, that might be more complicated.

Ever read through a gaf thread that makes you incredibly depressed?

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=948310

yeah. are there any special rules for dating in your 30s when you've never been on a date in your life?

Main thing that comes to mind is if the woman wants to have kids and you don't (or vice versa) to be clear about it since women have a finite amount of time for that. Otherwise... don't over-think it, good dating is just like having a close best friend. Though I haven't dated in ages, so just me rambling.

 

[Collete]

I'm legitimately freaking out...I have to send some hard copies for a grad school application and all I can see is how ugly and stupid my writing is...I'm not even a good writer either...I suck at what I love to do...I'm not even worth anything....

 

[Bagels]

I'm legitimately freaking out...I have to send some hard copies for a grad school application and all I can see is how ugly and stupid my writing is...I'm not even a good writer either...I suck at what I love to do...I'm not even worth anything....

You're an excellent writer, Oomi! I think feeling bad about it just means you care and you want to get better. It's probably healthy for creative people to never be satisfied with what they do (within reason).

 

[User 479360]

@Ciaossu

Thanks for the tip

I looked for an email, but their contact information isn't available. Just a referral email. I can't remember if there's a phone number, but it's likely not a public one for questions. I hate phoning places, so I usually don't look.

I'll have to, or ask my psychiatrist later this month.

I did go to a local college for a cleaning a year ago, and they did a great job for $30, but it took six hours. They don't do fillings.

 

[Mononoke]

I feel fuckin terrible right now. I was doing so well. I finally got into a healthy place in my life. I finally faced my demons through therapy and have been working on my PTSD. So things were going smoothly.

But my relationship with my best friend, just completely fell apart. We are both in different places in life, and both want different things. And after all I've been through, I don't want to get hurt again. I can't deal with the pain anymore. And my best friend is doing something in life that will take them away for a couple months, and we can't talk.

However, it kind of just highlighted a lot of issues with the relationship. Like it was always going to lead to a lot of pain eventually given where we are both at in life, and what we want. Having to face that reality, and accept it, is so painful.

Honestly, I've never felt worse in my life t hen I do right now. I need to be with myself. I know I'll be fine in the end. I won't hurt myself, and I'll eventually move on with my life. But I don't think I'll ever have a friend like this person again. I don't think I'll ever fall in love again (at least, not to the extent here). And all of this is crushing down on me. Yes, I'll move on with life. But it will never be the same again. And I'll have forever lost out on two things I can't ever get back. I know I'll make friends again. I know I can be in love again. But not the way this was. I can't ever get this back. I can't ever feel this exact way again. And it's too much to bear.

Life really sucks sometimes. I went from being happy and progressing to being in complete shambles. All in a matter of an hours.

 

[Symphonia]

I think I have a drinking problem. Others on here have noticed it too. I can't even try to attempt to sleep without drinking. Last night I even mixed my meds with drink. I'm a mess :/

 

[Polydeuces]

1st exam finished, not 100% sure if I got questions right, some questions didnt really feel like it was directly related to my class. Its confusing why exams are finished months before the actual exam. It sounds surreal. Next one is thursday and I decided to play games today. Im 50/50 on my feelings: the break was nice but having multiple scenes of frustration, depression, nervousness, etc throughout the school year really took a toll on me. What I believe to be a tension headache still hasnt felt better; still painful to massage the area. Hopefully my marks before that exam was well enough to pass. Onto the second one I suppose...

 

[Blackquill]

Thanks for sharing. Best of luck with school and I would say keep going to the therapist and hopefully they can help you over time. Things don't always get better immediately.

Thanks ! I hope so, I know I just need one thing to move on, therapist can really help for this.

 

[demon]

Is it normal/common to have a worse-before-it-gets-better experience on Zoloft? Been on it for over a month, 2 weeks at 50mgs now. Wasn't really noticing much if any effect, maybe a slight decrease in anxiety and slightly fewer lows, but today I've been feeling really down on myself and having one of those nights where one bad thought leads to another and all of a sudden I find myself slipping into a sense of hopelessness again and entertaining thoughts of "wouldn't it be nice if I just ended it". Nothing new, really, but I'm just tired of feeling like this. I really don't see any realistic path that leads to me having a happy and fulfilling life.

Jesus I hate myself. I'm incapable of anything.

 

[User 479360]

Is it normal/common to have a worse-before-it-gets-better experience on Zoloft? Been on it for over a month, 2 weeks at 50mgs now. Wasn't really noticing much if any effect, maybe a slight decrease in anxiety and slightly fewer lows, but today I've been feeling really down on myself and having one of those nights where one bad thought leads to another and all of a sudden I find myself slipping into a sense of hopelessness again and entertaining thoughts of "wouldn't it be nice if I just ended it". Nothing new, really, but I'm just tired of feeling like this. I really don't see any realistic path that leads to me having a happy and fulfilling life.

Jesus I hate myself. I'm incapable of anything.

I've never tried Zoloft, but it's possible.

Good luck, friend

 

[Mononoke]

God, this is getting worse and worse. I'm completely going off the deep end. Just everything I've worked for. Gone. Just everything. I thought things were going to get better when I was diagnosed with PTSD and was working on it.

I miss my best friend so badly. It hurts so much. I wish they would reach out to me. But I know even if they did, I couldn't bring myself to face them. Not after this. And I couldn't handle the heart break of them not being in my life for x amount of time while they are moving away.

Sometimes, I just wish that I had never even met this person. Despite all the happiness, despite everything. Feeling this much pain. Having this kind of loss. It's so awful. I don't know why life keeps being cruel to me.

Get cancer.
Family doesn't support me (mom says I deserve the cancer for being a sinner).
My cousin, the only person that supported me IRL killed herself.

Met the most wonderful person I've ever had in my life. The only bright light. The only thing that kept me going through my cancer. And now I'm losing them. So it was just a con. Just a set up. Make me feel good for just a little bit give me some hope, and then kick the chair out from underneath me. Life wants me to be miserable. No matter what I do, anytime I find happiness, it takes it away from me. It keeps taking things from me. It takes and it takes and it takes.

The sad thing is, I can't ever kill myself. I don't have the stomach for it. I'll never do it. I'll never even think about it. I just can't. So I just pretty much accept that I'm to be miserable. That life hates me, and just wants me to be in a constant pain. I sometimes wish, I had never met this person. I wish I would have just died from my cancer. Then I wouldn't have to be alone, or have to suffer this pain. Sometimes, I wish the cancer would just come back and take me.

I don't know how to handle anything anymore. But I'll keep living, because I have to. And I'll keep on being miserable. Honestly, out of everything. Losing this person has hurt more then anything. More then my cousins death. More then my family abandoning me. Because of all the things it meant to me. This has absolutely broken me.

 

[sycam0re]

God, this is getting worse and worse. I'm completely going off the deep end. Just everything I've worked for. Gone. Just everything. I thought things were going to get better when I was diagnosed with PTSD and was working on it.

I miss my best friend so badly. It hurts so much. I wish they would reach out to me. But I know even if they did, I couldn't bring myself to face them. Not after this. And I couldn't handle the heart break of them not being in my life for x amount of time while they are moving away.

Sometimes, I just wish that I had never even met this person. Despite all the happiness, despite everything. Feeling this much pain. Having this kind of loss. It's so awful. I don't know why life keeps being cruel to me.

Get cancer.
Family doesn't support me (mom says I deserve the cancer for being a sinner).
My cousin, the only person that supported me IRL killed herself.

Met the most wonderful person I've ever had in my life. The only bright light. The only thing that kept me going through my cancer. And now I'm losing them. So it was just a con. Just a set up. Make me feel good for just a little bit give me some hope, and then kick the chair out from underneath me. Life wants me to be miserable. No matter what I do, anytime I find happiness, it takes it away from me. It keeps taking things from me. It takes and it takes and it takes.

The sad thing is, I can't ever kill myself. I don't have the stomach for it. I'll never do it. I'll never even think about it. I just can't. So I just pretty much accept that I'm to be miserable. That life hates me, and just wants me to be in a constant pain. I sometimes wish, I had never met this person. I wish I would have just died from my cancer. Then I wouldn't have to be alone, or have to suffer this pain. Sometimes, I wish the cancer would just come back and take me.

I don't know how to handle anything anymore. But I'll keep living, because I have to. And I'll keep on being miserable. Honestly, out of everything. Losing this person has hurt more then anything. More then my cousins death. More then my family abandoning me. Because of all the things it meant to me. This has absolutely broken me.

I'm really sorry dude. I've been there, and feel awful for what you're going through. I know I can't make you feel better with platitudes, but I really really hope you make it through this dark time in your life.

 

[Mysterious]

I don't know what happened. I have physical and mental health issues that I've balanced perfectly well until 2 weeks ago. I had such a great average going into exams, which is just perishing. I got a doctor's note from my school clinic, but I don't think my department will accept it since I'm not on a death bed.

I really want to leave everything and just go away...

 

[Polydeuces]

Should probably start studying soon... 2nd exam tommorow. Prof is known to have hard questions. Just hate doing the math and logic...

 

[Lonely1]

I'm legitimately freaking out...I have to send some hard copies for a grad school application and all I can see is how ugly and stupid my writing is...I'm not even a good writer either...I suck at what I love to do...I'm not even worth anything....

I would love to read something from you some time!

 

[Collete]

I would love to read something from you some time!

It's nothing any good honestly...But I appreciate the interest. I just won't show my manuscript in GAF for obvious reasons.

You're an excellent writer, Oomi! I think feeling bad about it just means you care and you want to get better. It's probably healthy for creative people to never be satisfied with what they do (within reason).

Yeah I know it's healthy...within reason...problem is...I worry beyond the healthy line....*sigh*
Depression is such a love/hate relationship. I appreciate the creativity it comes along with it, but it's at the cost of my sanity...

 

[Silphonica]

Is it normal/common to have a worse-before-it-gets-better experience on Zoloft? Been on it for over a month, 2 weeks at 50mgs now. Wasn't really noticing much if any effect, maybe a slight decrease in anxiety and slightly fewer lows, but today I've been feeling really down on myself and having one of those nights where one bad thought leads to another and all of a sudden I find myself slipping into a sense of hopelessness again and entertaining thoughts of "wouldn't it be nice if I just ended it". Nothing new, really, but I'm just tired of feeling like this. I really don't see any realistic path that leads to me having a happy and fulfilling life.

Jesus I hate myself. I'm incapable of anything.

2 weeks through my 50mg sertraline. All it does now is make me sleepy and give me choclatey moose looking shits. Still waiting on increase of anything. Gonna ask doc to increase dose.

 

[demon]

2 weeks through my 50mg sertraline. All it does now is make me sleepy and give me choclatey moose looking shits. Still waiting on increase of anything. Gonna ask doc to increase dose.

Oh yeah, I've also been gassy as fuck and have had weird shits and stomach problems as well.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

I've had some water retention and bloat due to SSRIs. I'm assuming a change in diet and or dose would help.

These drugs are the weirdest. Damn pharmacology.

 

[demon]

My pants have been fitting a little tighter the past week. The last fucking thing I need is to be all gassy and bloaty on top of being miserable and hopeless. Sigh.

 

[Yowza]

Just everything I've worked for. Gone. Just everything.

No matter what I do, anytime I find happiness, it takes it away from me. It keeps taking things from me. It takes and it takes and it takes.

Hope this post isn't coming off as some generic 'hang in there, you can do it' response, but I hope you appreciate it.

You're one of the best members on this site in recent years.

I remember seeing your posts about two years ago, namely in the Breaking Bad threads and other TV shows. You've never been wrong about anything. Well, your frequently changing avatar makes it hard to know when you post sometimes, but you can comprehend and communicate your viewpoints incredibly well.

Reading this thread and hearing your cancer problems was very unsettling. Despite that being out of the way, you keep dealing with great losses in the few you confided in.

So if it helps you feel less miserable, know that for all the terrible stuff that's happened to you IRL, there's always some random nobody like me (and thousands of others) who've been enlightened and entertained by your intellectual posts on this forum. Comparing IRL to online strangers may seem like a joke, the likes of us can't ever compare to your best friend/cousin, but rest assured that you have the support/love/well wishes from more people than you may think.

 

[hunchback]

I need to watch how much I try to help sometimes. Went out to try to get a disabled family member in from the vehicle, because my old man was busy, but I can never get the one part of her straps off. Figured I'd try, but couldn't as I'm a klutz and suck at hands-on things.

Now he's on to me about being a useless failure. 'tis always fun.

Don't feel that way at all. You tried to help and that shows you have a good heart. My wife still has trouble with the straps on one of my spine braces. I'm always thankful for the help I get. Maybe you can have your father patiently show you the next time the family member comes over.
Don't even sweat it.

 

[hunchback]

I think I have a drinking problem. Others on here have noticed it too. I can't even try to attempt to sleep without drinking. Last night I even mixed my meds with drink. I'm a mess :/

Hey. If you want to talk about your meds and alcohol you can PM me any time. Please, please be very careful. I used to do the same thing 2 year's ago.

 

[BigEvilTurtle]

Anyone here diagnosed with type II bipolar disorder? I'm starting to think that's what I'm suffering with, especially since an intake counselor mentioned the possibility. I've had extended hypomanic episodes (inflated confidence, talkative, racing thoughts, little sleep, compulsive, goal-oriented, disproportionately happy) and extended depressive episodes. During times of medication (on antidepressants and anti-anxiety) I always fell in the middle. Always made me feel bland. Not good or bad. For several years now I go back and forth between episodes... I'd love to live in a permanent hypomanic state, as impractical as that is.

I think this rules out major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder? Aren't those supposed to be persistent? Those symptoms only appear when I'm experiencing a depressive episode.

 

[Collete]

I'm in tears and feel like shit about myself...
I literally did a great accomplishment; I finished my graduate school application for a college.
And you know the response I get from my father? "Now you're just throwing the money out of the window."
The actual fuck?
I worked my damn ass off to even get to this point, and that's the damn response I get. Literally, this man will never be fucking happy in his damn life till I'm actually dead and buried in the ground. Maybe then I won't fucking leech any damn money from him.
I'm a fucking leech to him apparently. Only fucking way he'll be happy is if I lose myself in a STEM job which I absolutely hate. So he fucking wants me to suffer. He'll just be happy to have me dead...