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Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
- Start date
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Maybe smartphone app? I guess it could be working in the background and show her always online because of that.
yeah your right it is sad. i think the superficial and ego seekers have bombarded the online dating world and the very serious relationship seekers are lost into the void. which makes it eve harder to find something nice
depths20XX
Member
For a while I thought okc was pretty cool and had good luck with it. Even ended up dating a girl for 6 months and it was great. When I came back to it I started to feel like most people on there are really flakey. It's hard to make rhyme or reason about anything on there. Girls will like your profile and message you, you talk for a while, then try to setup a date and they just flake out. It also seems the rule of writing an interesting first message doesn't really apply to women on there. A lot of them seem to be the dullest people with their messages.
They don't need to put out the effort.
depths20XX
Member
Yeah, I mean, I realize why they're able to send dull messages. It still is a bit annoying. I've gone out with 3 girls who's literal first message to me was "Hi". Two did end up being really boring, the other was pretty fun.
Yeah, I dated a lady for a year who I met on okc. I think it's just one of those sites that allows you to meet some new people at first but once you're on there long enough you just become doomed.
depths20XX
Member
I don't know if I'm doomed or just completely jaded about the site now. I thought it was funny you mentioned the rock climbing thing. Judging by okc it must be like 90% of women that are into rock climbing.
family_guy
Member
If you see her online then that means you're online also. You're not a bot are you?
ClosingADoor
Member
Sent a message and find out. Not worth thinking about it further until you get a reply (or not).
ClosingADoor
Member
Depends on what you feel is right. I'd shoot a message the next day in the afternoon or evening.
Pai Pai Master
Banned
okcupid smartphone app lists people online if they have the app open at all, even if it's just in the background and they forgot to close it for days
beat
Member
Or they're having a terrible time online already: http://jezebel.com/man-poses-as-woman-on-online-dating-site-barely-lasts-1500707724
stn
Member
Sucks to hear, dude. But it was expected. When you wrote that it "didn't feel right" in your first post, you should have followed your gut. She basically was going out with you because she didn't have courage to reject you. It happens. Time to move on and meet other girls.
So I know I posted about this already, but I think I'm going to finally ask her out this Friday. So basically, as I posted previously in the thread this is my situation so far:
Since then we've been texting more, saying good morning and good night, etc. but we haven't met up in a couple weeks due to the winter break. Next week she asked me if I wanted to watch The Conjuring with her at her place next Friday. I'm assuming it'll just be us. This is a sign right? I'm planning to ask her if she wants to be a thing with me at the beginning of the movie. Good plan, bad plan? What do GAF? I really like this girl and I don't want to mess this up.
Since then we've been texting more, saying good morning and good night, etc. but we haven't met up in a couple weeks due to the winter break. Next week she asked me if I wanted to watch The Conjuring with her at her place next Friday. I'm assuming it'll just be us. This is a sign right? I'm planning to ask her if she wants to be a thing with me at the beginning of the movie. Good plan, bad plan? What do GAF? I really like this girl and I don't want to mess this up.
damn, this is pretty eye-opening.
This is more a rant than anything but if anyone has any advice or wants to point out where i fucked up that would be great.
I was at a bar on NYE and recognised a barmaid as someone I've spoken to on Twitter a few times before (we're both involved in my city's 'beer scene' if you will), we both follow each other and conversed, RT'd and the like but nothing flirty or anything.
So i introduced myself at the bar and she's all 'Oh hey, nice to finally meet you!' type thing. We chatted for a bit then I went back to the table. Later on, I came in from having a cig and walk past the bar, she shouts me and offers me and my friends some free beers as they've just cleaned the lines and this was what was left. I thought this was cool and maybe, just possibly, a wee hint.
The night goes on and we chat a few more times and then when we were leaving, she shouts me again and gives me a hug goodbye and wishes me happy new year etc. I again thought this was a good sign so messaged her the following afternoon on Twitter, just saying 'Thanks for putting up with us last night, hope you had a good one when you finished'. She messages back with 'Not at all, my pleasure! Oh i definitely did
'. I message her again asking if she just stayed at the bar and got drunk with the intention of asking her out within a message or two, didn't wanna rush it y'know?
But...no reply back. And this is where this always seems to happen with me, shit just stops before it even starts. Gah. Thanks for the rant space GAF.
I was at a bar on NYE and recognised a barmaid as someone I've spoken to on Twitter a few times before (we're both involved in my city's 'beer scene' if you will), we both follow each other and conversed, RT'd and the like but nothing flirty or anything.
So i introduced myself at the bar and she's all 'Oh hey, nice to finally meet you!' type thing. We chatted for a bit then I went back to the table. Later on, I came in from having a cig and walk past the bar, she shouts me and offers me and my friends some free beers as they've just cleaned the lines and this was what was left. I thought this was cool and maybe, just possibly, a wee hint.
The night goes on and we chat a few more times and then when we were leaving, she shouts me again and gives me a hug goodbye and wishes me happy new year etc. I again thought this was a good sign so messaged her the following afternoon on Twitter, just saying 'Thanks for putting up with us last night, hope you had a good one when you finished'. She messages back with 'Not at all, my pleasure! Oh i definitely did
'. I message her again asking if she just stayed at the bar and got drunk with the intention of asking her out within a message or two, didn't wanna rush it y'know?But...no reply back. And this is where this always seems to happen with me, shit just stops before it even starts. Gah. Thanks for the rant space GAF.
This isn't news to me. When you go on dates with women that do online dating it is brought up frequently.
radioactivez0r
Member
Dude, she took you back home on the first date. I think you're golden. IMO that shows a level of comfort that early.
This is more a rant than anything but if anyone has any advice or wants to point out where i fucked up that would be great.
I was at a bar on NYE and recognised a barmaid as someone I've spoken to on Twitter a few times before (we're both involved in my city's 'beer scene' if you will), we both follow each other and conversed, RT'd and the like but nothing flirty or anything.
So i introduced myself at the bar and she's all 'Oh hey, nice to finally meet you!' type thing. We chatted for a bit then I went back to the table. Later on, I came in from having a cig and walk past the bar, she shouts me and offers me and my friends some free beers as they've just cleaned the lines and this was what was left. I thought this was cool and maybe, just possibly, a wee hint.
The night goes on and we chat a few more times and then when we were leaving, she shouts me again and gives me a hug goodbye and wishes me happy new year etc. I again thought this was a good sign so messaged her the following afternoon on Twitter, just saying 'Thanks for putting up with us last night, hope you had a good one when you finished'. She messages back with 'Not at all, my pleasure! Oh i definitely did
But...no reply back. And this is where this always seems to happen with me, shit just stops before it even starts. Gah. Thanks for the rant space GAF.
Sounds like she is a friendly person being friendly, but if I'm wrong you may be overreacting a little. I mean, people have lives and you just met her. Take Aaron Rodgers' advice and R-E-L-A-X
Am I an asshole for fooling around/having sex with a girl AFTER I've come to conclusion that I don't want to date them, or really see them again at all? Now...I'm not really lying or leading them on, I'm just not informing them of the decision I already made.
Am I a dick or is that fair game?
Am I a dick or is that fair game?
Dude, she took you back home on the first date. I think you're golden. IMO that shows a level of comfort that early.
Sounds like she is a friendly person being friendly, but if I'm wrong you may be overreacting a little. I mean, people have lives and you just met her. Take Aaron Rodgers' advice and R-E-L-A-X
i guess you're right, i think I just wanted this one to go somewhere!
Well he didn't block me! I sent a "sorry. All the best, man
" and it went through lol. Though obviously he'll never reply.But he hasn't blocked me, so I can go back to my happy place, pretending one day that he will.
I've only been on OKC for a few months, but I've experienced that a few times. I assume it is the phone app - though sometimes I refresh the page & it says they were last online hrs ago.
Has anyone signed up for the A-list service on okc? I have nearly 80 "Likes" on the site but can't see who they are because I'm not a subscriber to the service.
i don't understand that like thing. is it when you use that swipe left/right thing or when you browse and double tap to like someone? okcupid app is so confusing.
Well he didn't block me! I sent a "sorry. All the best, man
But he hasn't blocked me, so I can go back to my happy place, pretending one day that he will.
Holy shit, let it go. You're quickly approaching creeper status.
Eh. I won't message him again so meh.
Anyway, done in here now, I don't belong in here
electricshake
Member
Dick move though depends how long you've been seeing each other.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
You seriously have to ask this?
I was in a similar situation (decision wise), and I went the route of cutting it off. This was because going the other route and leading the girl on just for sex is the dick move.
After talking with her and letter her know my thoughts she ended up being fine with just a FWB situation and knows that I have no interest in getting involved in a relationship with her, so it ended up working out for us both.
You have to talk to her about it and let her know.
Well he didn't block me! I sent a "sorry. All the best, man
But he hasn't blocked me, so I can go back to my happy place, pretending one day that he will.
are you me?
I don't belong in here
Why not?
Wolf Akela
Member
First date in over half a year where she admittedly said she got bored. We watched the movie she wanted (which was bad and she thought so too), went to the arcade to play some games, walked around malls.
How screwed am I / 10?
Admittedly I was bored too. The day was surprisingly slow. Everything took only 5 hours. We've passed time waaaaay quicker before. I mean, we last past midnight and it didn't feel enough.
How screwed am I / 10?
Admittedly I was bored too. The day was surprisingly slow. Everything took only 5 hours. We've passed time waaaaay quicker before. I mean, we last past midnight and it didn't feel enough.
ClosingADoor
Member
You have been seeing this girl for six months and this is the first boring date? I don't see how that would be a problem. Everyone has bad and boring days and dates.
n64coder
Member
What do you mean by ask her? What exactly do you plan to say? I would just make an effort to touch her during the movie and see how she reacts. See if you get your arm around her and at the end of the night, give her a kiss.
Damn, it's over. I had a pretty good feeling things would head that way, it's going to be a dark couple days. At least I've learned a valuable lesson. You need to value yourself before you can enter a relationship of any sort with someone that's worth a damn. I fucked my chances up with crazy text messages at first when she wanted space. I think this will be good for me in the long run, going to work out a bunch the next couple days and try to get my mind off of her. It'll be hard, but I'll get through it. I'm mostly using this as an avenue to vent, sorry if it's not the right place to do this. Just feels good to type it out. The most fucked up thing is I wish I could have at least gotten a fwb relationship out of it, as we'd still have the sex and I'd still get to talk to her . There's also a part of me that wants to just throw myself at someone else, but I need to be ascetic to that sort of feeling. This is a fucking awful feeling, haha. I really hope I don't turn into one of those poor souls that can't get over someone for long stretches of time. I want to get over this.
beat
Member
From some data analysis from 2009, no mention about smileys, but netspeak was statistically a negative: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/o...hat-to-say-in-a-first-message/comment-page-1/
mullet2000
Member
Writing a grammatically correct message with no smilies tends to make you seem more imtellegent and mature. At least for the initial few messages. If you're already talking and it's going well then whatever, don't worry about it very much.
Arsenic Yellow
Member
I recently met a guy at a nye party. We hit it off really well and I ended up going back to his place (it was really late, buses weren't running and we wanted to continue partying). We made out and slept together but didn't have sex, just spooned the whole night.
He texted me that he had a good time and wanted to meet up with me again. We continued texting back and forth and met up last night for a date. Had dinner, went to two underground music shows and had an amazing amount of things in common. We decided to go to my place to look at books and listen to music. We slept together again and kissed for a while but again just spooned and didn't have sex, but we talked about doing things together in the near future.
Anyways could a guy that sleeps over but doesn't initiate anything sexual still be interested in someone? He's an artist like myself and a lot of the stuff he works on is about anxiety so I assume he has anxiety issues, but I'm not sure if that would be a possible factor. I'm also aware that I haven't known him long and he may not want to have sex immediately until he knows me. I've never been in a situation like this (bringing someone I just met home), it's foreign to me but I'm just trying to be casual about it.
I'm a female by the way. He's 29 I'm 28.
We also went to brunch this morning and were talking the entire time. Date lasted maybe 20 hours...
He texted me that he had a good time and wanted to meet up with me again. We continued texting back and forth and met up last night for a date. Had dinner, went to two underground music shows and had an amazing amount of things in common. We decided to go to my place to look at books and listen to music. We slept together again and kissed for a while but again just spooned and didn't have sex, but we talked about doing things together in the near future.
Anyways could a guy that sleeps over but doesn't initiate anything sexual still be interested in someone? He's an artist like myself and a lot of the stuff he works on is about anxiety so I assume he has anxiety issues, but I'm not sure if that would be a possible factor. I'm also aware that I haven't known him long and he may not want to have sex immediately until he knows me. I've never been in a situation like this (bringing someone I just met home), it's foreign to me but I'm just trying to be casual about it.
I'm a female by the way. He's 29 I'm 28.
We also went to brunch this morning and were talking the entire time. Date lasted maybe 20 hours...
I'm a guy with anxiety and have done something similar with girls I've really liked. I wouldn't worry about it just see what happens and if he doesn't initiate something perhaps try taking the lead.
He's into you, 100%.
Feel free to initiate if you feel like it.
Also, feel free to talk about it, in a cheerful way, not like there's a problem that needs addressing.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Well, seems I won't have a date after all. I have to work next weekend and Shea been acting flakey and takes forever to respond to texts. Makes me wonder if I do something wrong that momentum seems to drop off after asking them out.
FaintColt388301
Member
I'd guess he's just a nice guy that doesn't want to push you to do anything or is just shy.
Ya'll have talked about it so it's not like he's not in to the idea. I'd just make the move if I were you then just see how it goes from there.
I wouldn't make a move. Let him man up and show you that he's interested beyond the friendship aspects, otherwise you will go through the same thing you went through in the past.
I would assume that he just didn't want to push you into moving too quickly. I've had a one or two instances like that where I didn't mind if we didn't have sex, but just cuddled for a while, though my partner would get a little too... amorous and that would wind up happening anyway, heh.
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