-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
- Start date
- Status
ClosingADoor
Member
How the hell do you fill a six hour phone talk. That must be some kind of super power!
infinitys_7th
Member
grap3fruitman, I am more (or, actually, now some less) in the same position as you.
I had bad, even crippling, social anxiety to the point that I spent most of college in my apartment bedroom. People (ranging from a group of "friends" who plagiarized from me to a married woman who pretended to be single and interested in me to do the same) hurt me badly through manipulation, and I became really misanthropic and cynical of relationships. My parents didn't help matters with their brands of emotional abuse either.
Trust people. There are people who will care about you and will be drawn to you no matter how messed up you are. I doubt you are some kind of monster. You are probably just hurt like I am. I have my own problems as well, but once a friend helped me realize this it really helped.
For this, trust that she is excited to be with you. Even if she does not see your pain and problems on the outside being with her may vent them a little. Being with anyone should.
I had bad, even crippling, social anxiety to the point that I spent most of college in my apartment bedroom. People (ranging from a group of "friends" who plagiarized from me to a married woman who pretended to be single and interested in me to do the same) hurt me badly through manipulation, and I became really misanthropic and cynical of relationships. My parents didn't help matters with their brands of emotional abuse either.
Trust people. There are people who will care about you and will be drawn to you no matter how messed up you are. I doubt you are some kind of monster. You are probably just hurt like I am. I have my own problems as well, but once a friend helped me realize this it really helped.
For this, trust that she is excited to be with you. Even if she does not see your pain and problems on the outside being with her may vent them a little. Being with anyone should.
We are both looking for a long term relationship, so there is plenty to discover. Plus we are 36/38 years old and have a lot of stories.
Flying Toaster
Member
Do you find yourself doing the phone conversations because your a single dad and its a matter of time constraints? Or do you find yourself using the phone time as a vetting process?
Just chatted 2 hours with the earlier mentioned girl again. She started the convo with how my day was and such. Neither of us mentioned that I asked her out yesterday. Convo about common interests, relationships and other stuff. She ended with that she hopes to see me again soon.
Either this is turning into a good friendship or something more. Neither one is bad but I shouldn't have my hopes up of course. I'll probably mention it somewhere in the future again if we keep those daily convos going but not for now. Maybe she'll mention it eventually.
Either this is turning into a good friendship or something more. Neither one is bad but I shouldn't have my hopes up of course. I'll probably mention it somewhere in the future again if we keep those daily convos going but not for now. Maybe she'll mention it eventually.
Flying Toaster
Member
Perhaps she is just trying to gauge you as a person. There is nothing wrong with this and probably will help in the long run if things do end up turning into a date.
Flying Toaster
Member
Send another message. Ask her out for the weekend if you receive no response cut your losses. If she responds and you meet up good for you have fun.
Sending a message a day after doesn't seem like a bad idea. You are after all trying to make plans for the weekend.
alright, message sent.
also wanted to say that most of the girls i find attractive are in real life and not that great looking in photos. one caveat of online dating.
update: she responded and says she has to work all weekend. meh oh well, she told me where she works and i could come visit her lol
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
I should have know dating an ambitious woman who's gone back to school for a degree in another field would be difficult.
Due to her current studying, GRE test 1 week from now, flying down to SoCal next weekend to get her letters of recommendations, and all that college application stuff out of the way, I don't think I'll be seeing her for at least another two weeks. December the 28th was the last time we were able to make something happen.
This sucks, but I respect her drive a lot.
Due to her current studying, GRE test 1 week from now, flying down to SoCal next weekend to get her letters of recommendations, and all that college application stuff out of the way, I don't think I'll be seeing her for at least another two weeks. December the 28th was the last time we were able to make something happen.
This sucks, but I respect her drive a lot.
It is but you won't be able to get over it without practise, and you just blew the opportunity to do so. Get anxiety medication if you have a hard time being around people.
Man, it has been years since I saw you post about your ptoblems. I remember you flew to see a girl just to have sex with her. Didn't that give you some confidence? What happened man? You have to make yourself change, and in moments of desperation we sometimes figure out a way to do that, otherwise fake it till you make it.
It's part of the vetting process. The single parent status just means my dating comes in clumps every other week.
IMHO, I'd wait for a response. I understand the wish to squeeze a date in, but chances are she already has a date for the weekend anyway.
Passive Assassin
Member
got a date with a girl on okc saturday and she asked about splitting the bill and tipping? what do i say?!
What the hell? She is asking about bill payment before you even go on the date? Thats ridiculous.
Default is to split the bill. I often just pay in full if it's ok, and on second dates the woman often pays in full. But we are 35-45 years old and understand that who pays the money is trivial.
Default is to split the bill. I often just pay in full if it's ok, and on second dates the woman often pays in full. But we are 35-45 years old and understand that who pays the money is trivial.
Burger_Baron
Member
Gaf, I have a bit of a problem. I started a new job a month ago at a postal center, and I have been working here a month now. The pay is good and the hours are nice.
Now, you may be asking "Hold on, this is dating-gaf, not some job-brag thread!" Well, here comes my problem. We have a girl here at work, who looks like a goddess. You ever encountered a person who is so stunningly beautiful, that you cannot even start to fanthom to talk to her? Yep, shes just like that.
Ordinarily I have had no problem to start a conversation with other people. Although they might usually be pretty akward and clunky, I have never been afraid of it. But now, when I even think about her saying hello to me, cannot think of anything to say to her, let alone asking her something. With other girls I can talk about a lot of stuff and keep the conversation up, but when she comes close to me, I go all
Now, I have no need to get to know her. I have no special need to get into relationship in general, and quite frankly I have a ton of other things to do. But we work on different conveyor belts, and I have stare at her pretty ass all day long for a month now, and they can on worst case scenario put me on the same coveyor belt than she is on. And I fear that one day I'm gonna lose it and do something...radical, which I'm going to regret later on.
Also worth mentioning. Whenever I get put close to her or to same working station, I usually get transmitted farther away from. For example, on the work order list today, I was positioned on the same working station as her, but was told that I was moved to another platform, and after I had left some other guy took my place. And of course they start to talk, which I always have mixed feelings of. On the other hand it gets me away from her, so I can gather my thoughts. But on the other hand my paranoif self tells me that ""Gasp" It must be destiny taht we never talk to eachother!"
Extra: Funny thing happened to me a couple of days ago. We were working normally on the conveyor belts, as usual, and she was positioned on the opposite side. And she was wearing a very loose sweater. Now, we usually have to reach to some objects which are farther away on the belt. And I am there, doing my job and minding my own business, when I gaze my eyes open the other platform and holeey shit. A cleavage that would make a dead mans pocket spring up, and her boobs dangling and bouncing in every direction...
Now obviously I get a raging boner, but luckily we stand on platforms that can be raised and lowered. So I started to lower the platform while I was gazing into the void, until I couldnt be seen under the waist. For the rest of the day I looked at everything else but her, for I was so ashamed of the whole ordeal despite no one knew nothing about it. I still get haunted by those cursed magic mammaries.
Now, you may be asking "Hold on, this is dating-gaf, not some job-brag thread!" Well, here comes my problem. We have a girl here at work, who looks like a goddess. You ever encountered a person who is so stunningly beautiful, that you cannot even start to fanthom to talk to her? Yep, shes just like that.
Ordinarily I have had no problem to start a conversation with other people. Although they might usually be pretty akward and clunky, I have never been afraid of it. But now, when I even think about her saying hello to me, cannot think of anything to say to her, let alone asking her something. With other girls I can talk about a lot of stuff and keep the conversation up, but when she comes close to me, I go all
Now, I have no need to get to know her. I have no special need to get into relationship in general, and quite frankly I have a ton of other things to do. But we work on different conveyor belts, and I have stare at her pretty ass all day long for a month now, and they can on worst case scenario put me on the same coveyor belt than she is on. And I fear that one day I'm gonna lose it and do something...radical, which I'm going to regret later on.
Also worth mentioning. Whenever I get put close to her or to same working station, I usually get transmitted farther away from. For example, on the work order list today, I was positioned on the same working station as her, but was told that I was moved to another platform, and after I had left some other guy took my place. And of course they start to talk, which I always have mixed feelings of. On the other hand it gets me away from her, so I can gather my thoughts. But on the other hand my paranoif self tells me that ""Gasp" It must be destiny taht we never talk to eachother!"
Extra: Funny thing happened to me a couple of days ago. We were working normally on the conveyor belts, as usual, and she was positioned on the opposite side. And she was wearing a very loose sweater. Now, we usually have to reach to some objects which are farther away on the belt. And I am there, doing my job and minding my own business, when I gaze my eyes open the other platform and holeey shit. A cleavage that would make a dead mans pocket spring up, and her boobs dangling and bouncing in every direction...
Now obviously I get a raging boner, but luckily we stand on platforms that can be raised and lowered. So I started to lower the platform while I was gazing into the void, until I couldnt be seen under the waist. For the rest of the day I looked at everything else but her, for I was so ashamed of the whole ordeal despite no one knew nothing about it. I still get haunted by those cursed magic mammaries.
MatrixMan.EXE
Member
Gaf, I have a bit of a problem. I started a new job a month ago at a postal center, and I have been working here a month now. The pay is good and the hours are nice.
Now, you may be asking "Hold on, this is dating-gaf, not some job-brag thread!" Well, here comes my problem. We have a girl here at work, who looks like a goddess. You ever encountered a person who is so stunningly beautiful, that you cannot even start to fanthom to talk to her? Yep, shes just like that.
Ordinarily I have had no problem to start a conversation with other people. Although they might usually be pretty akward and clunky, I have never been afraid of it. But now, when I even think about her saying hello to me, cannot think of anything to say to her, let alone asking her something. With other girls I can talk about a lot of stuff and keep the conversation up, but when she comes close to me, I go all
Now, I have no need to get to know her. I have no special need to get into relationship in general, and quite frankly I have a ton of other things to do. But we work on different conveyor belts, and I have stare at her pretty ass all day long for a month now, and they can on worst case scenario put me on the same coveyor belt than she is on. And I fear that one day I'm gonna lose it and do something...radical, which I'm going to regret later on.
Also worth mentioning. Whenever I get put close to her or to same working station, I usually get transmitted farther away from. For example, on the work order list today, I was positioned on the same working station as her, but was told that I was moved to another platform, and after I had left some other guy took my place. And of course they start to talk, which I always have mixed feelings of. On the other hand it gets me away from her, so I can gather my thoughts. But on the other hand my paranoif self tells me that ""Gasp" It must be destiny taht we never talk to eachother!"
Extra: Funny thing happened to me a couple of days ago. We were working normally on the conveyor belts, as usual, and she was positioned on the opposite side. And she was wearing a very loose sweater. Now, we usually have to reach to some objects which are farther away on the belt. And I am there, doing my job and minding my own business, when I gaze my eyes open the other platform and holeey shit. A cleavage that would make a dead mans pocket spring up, and her boobs dangling and bouncing in every direction...
Now obviously I get a raging boner, but luckily we stand on platforms that can be raised and lowered. So I started to lower the platform while I was gazing into the void, until I couldnt be seen under the waist. For the rest of the day I looked at everything else but her, for I was so ashamed of the whole ordeal despite no one knew nothing about it. I still get haunted by those cursed magic mammaries.
Sounds like a classic case of you building everything up in your head when really, if you ever do get the chance to talk to her it should go absolutely smoothly. I think the issue here is that you're focusing on her as a sexual entity far too much, which is otherwise hindering your otherwise normal ability to chat with girls just fine.
Are there any other opportunities for you two to cross paths in the workplace?
Burger_Baron
Member
Other opportunities? As opposed to conveyor belt? Yea, theres the cafeteria, where there is a hot meal every day, and she eats there now and then.
Buuut, as the more I think about this, the more I think it is a bad idea. And writing about helps too. I might be overreacting by a mile because I'm still a bit euphoric that I got to continue this job (was supposed to be 1 month, got to continue at least 1 more). I think I'll just leave her alone, and if she happens to pop up at the same belt as me, I'll just act as cool as a winter breeeze.
So this thing turned out to be just a stealth job-brag post, and I am deeply sorry for that. I'll see myself out.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Gaf, I have a bit of a problem. I started a new job a month ago at a postal center, and I have been working here a month now. The pay is good and the hours are nice.
Now, you may be asking "Hold on, this is dating-gaf, not some job-brag thread!" Well, here comes my problem. We have a girl here at work, who looks like a goddess. You ever encountered a person who is so stunningly beautiful, that you cannot even start to fanthom to talk to her? Yep, shes just like that.
Ordinarily I have had no problem to start a conversation with other people. Although they might usually be pretty akward and clunky, I have never been afraid of it. But now, when I even think about her saying hello to me, cannot think of anything to say to her, let alone asking her something. With other girls I can talk about a lot of stuff and keep the conversation up, but when she comes close to me, I go all
Now, I have no need to get to know her. I have no special need to get into relationship in general, and quite frankly I have a ton of other things to do. But we work on different conveyor belts, and I have stare at her pretty ass all day long for a month now, and they can on worst case scenario put me on the same coveyor belt than she is on. And I fear that one day I'm gonna lose it and do something...radical, which I'm going to regret later on.
Also worth mentioning. Whenever I get put close to her or to same working station, I usually get transmitted farther away from. For example, on the work order list today, I was positioned on the same working station as her, but was told that I was moved to another platform, and after I had left some other guy took my place. And of course they start to talk, which I always have mixed feelings of. On the other hand it gets me away from her, so I can gather my thoughts. But on the other hand my paranoif self tells me that ""Gasp" It must be destiny taht we never talk to eachother!"
Extra: Funny thing happened to me a couple of days ago. We were working normally on the conveyor belts, as usual, and she was positioned on the opposite side. And she was wearing a very loose sweater. Now, we usually have to reach to some objects which are farther away on the belt. And I am there, doing my job and minding my own business, when I gaze my eyes open the other platform and holeey shit. A cleavage that would make a dead mans pocket spring up, and her boobs dangling and bouncing in every direction...
Now obviously I get a raging boner, but luckily we stand on platforms that can be raised and lowered. So I started to lower the platform while I was gazing into the void, until I couldnt be seen under the waist. For the rest of the day I looked at everything else but her, for I was so ashamed of the whole ordeal despite no one knew nothing about it. I still get haunted by those cursed magic mammaries.
You really need to descalate and chill. You're freaking out over essentially nothing. I wouldn't have engage her until you get yourself sorted. It's not going well if you've built her up this much in your head without really having any interaction with her. It's only a girl dude.
well i sent a message and she did respond saying she had to work all weekend. she told me exactly where she works and even the department. is that her basically saying the ball is in my court and it's up to me to see her?
just think about it this way, under all that skin and bones is just a brain. we're all people inside with fears and desires. our body is just a vessel. don't let it overwhelm you.
Arsenic Yellow
Member
Ugh haven't heard anything from the guy since Wednesday night. Gonna assume that I won't be hearing from him. I just don't get why a guy would ask if you're free this saturday, says he'll text you and not contact you at all. I hate dating.
might just be busy or trying not to seem needy. at least that's why i wouldn't be texting. he will probably send one tonight.
Arsenic Yellow
Member
My friend was saying I should just text him asking what's up for tomorrow, but I should stay firm and have him come to me right?
I would just text him casually and see if he brings up the subject of a date. But to be honest, if he hasn't texted by now, he is probably busy or chatting with someone else.
Note that my perspective is not of a nervous young person, so it's also possible he is just a scaredy cat.
Note that my perspective is not of a nervous young person, so it's also possible he is just a scaredy cat.
ClosingADoor
Member
I wouldn't show up to her work, if that's what you mean. That seems a bit strange to me. Ask her to go some other time and when she's free.
Just sent him a text asking if you guys are still on for tomorrow. Could be a number of things going on. Not wanting to seem needy or to eager himself, just busy, not sure if he is still free saturday and waiting for that confirmation (I have had this happen myself sometimes). Ask and you'll know.
Arsenic Yellow
Member
I guess, but would it make me come off as too needy? The last text between us was:
Him:Thanks for food! That was really awesome
Me: Just got home. And no problem, I owed you. I had a great time too!
Me: I'll also bring your shoes next time, sorry I keep forgetting.
Maybe I shiuld just forget about the guy. I fear apearing needy.
Be yourself, Arsenic. The right guy won't be upset about you being yourself. If you want to text him, text him. Do not let your ego or the imaginative rules of dating cloud your judgment.
I did that with the girl I'm currently seeing. Set up plans to for a weekend date and let her come to me. She never did and that was the end of it. At least until a few months later where we got in contact again, and it turned out she was very much into me, but didn't want to appear clingy. Neither did I, so we both misread the non-responses as lack of interest. Now we're starting to date again and things are looking pretty good. I'm grateful for the second chance, but we don't always get one as I'm sure you know.
ClosingADoor
Member
I don't really know the context. You already had a few dates right?
As a guy, I don't really see someone texting me two days later as needy. It would be if you are bombarding me with texts multiple times every day.
I'd say just sent a quick something like "Hi! We still on for tomorrow?" and leave it at that. It won't make him run away suddenly. If he wants to go out, he'll reply with yes or comes with another date. Otherwise he has already made his mind up anyway now and you have nothing to lose.
her exact message was "Haha well I work in [place] if you're ever around there"
sounded like she would be okay with it.
doesn't seem needy to me, then again i wouldn't mind if a girl was needy to me lol
I know what the answer is, but just want dat confirmation to make sure I make the right decision.
I met someone, she's awesome, and this could quite possibly lead to the best relationship I've ever been in, but I know I can do better in terms of looks.
She's cute, and turns me on, but I know I can do better...
So do I try to just let her win me over and maybe over time those feelings will fade, or will I always think I can do better? =/
I met someone, she's awesome, and this could quite possibly lead to the best relationship I've ever been in, but I know I can do better in terms of looks.
She's cute, and turns me on, but I know I can do better...
So do I try to just let her win me over and maybe over time those feelings will fade, or will I always think I can do better? =/
Listen to your friend. You will hear back if he is interested and he will be happy that he heard from you. Don't leave it up to both of you possibly not wanting to seem needy and inaction.
stn
Member
If I was the guy you were messaging I would just think you're following up on plans, nothing more. Granted, I think the whole idea of "if I make a move I'm needy" is overblown in general. If true, then every guy out there who approaches a girl is needy, know what I mean? Its literally just a crutch for insecure people. Don't let something like that ruin your chances at either a relationship or a good time.
Pai Pai Master
Banned
Are looks absolutely the most important thing to you? (not being an ass - it's totally fine to value appearance highly)
You don't have to commit to anything serious immediately, take some time and see if the rest of her makes up for not necessarily being the hottest person in the universe. It's really up to you and how you feel about her, but definitely don't get into a serious relationship if you feel like you're settling.
I'd love to know how many of you folks who are getting "many messages" on Tinder/POF live in NY. And if you do, I'd love to see what you look like. I'm a good looking guy, and if I get one unsolicited message every 3-4 months on POF it's a lot - and they're generally from girls who are well below my own level of attractiveness (believe me when I say that I'm being objective here). In terms of responses to messages I send, if I get one response for every 40-50 messages I send, it's a lot. And I'm not sitting there messaging only 9's and 10's, either.
I fully believe that A) online dating is stacked in the girls' favor; and B) NY girls are incredibly picky. This is corroborated by my and my friends' experiences with girls out of state in other parts of the US - girls elsewhere are WAY more approachable, far less picky/stuck-up, and are FAR more likely to initiate contact than NY girls.
It's for this reason that I gave up on POF after about 10-11 months of using it. I still use Tinder, but mostly because it's easier to just swipe rather than read someone's profile and actually write a relevant message (I was never a copy/paste kinda guy).
I fully believe that A) online dating is stacked in the girls' favor; and B) NY girls are incredibly picky. This is corroborated by my and my friends' experiences with girls out of state in other parts of the US - girls elsewhere are WAY more approachable, far less picky/stuck-up, and are FAR more likely to initiate contact than NY girls.
It's for this reason that I gave up on POF after about 10-11 months of using it. I still use Tinder, but mostly because it's easier to just swipe rather than read someone's profile and actually write a relevant message (I was never a copy/paste kinda guy).
Arsenic Yellow
Member
Well he just texted me. I feel like an idiot for worrying. Anxiety has been high the last month or so and my ocd is usually heightened in these situation.
jimmypython
Member
talking about being picky....the girls in my area have absolutely no interest in me in the online world lol...i consider myself an above average looking guy..i know it wouldn't do any good for me to think in this way but anything to do with me being pretty much the only non-white people in the city??
Christberg
Member
2 things:
The hottest girls frequently aren't the hottest in bed
Looks only get a foot in the door. They have very little bearing long term.
Go for it dude. Seriously. You don't need me to tell you this.
Arsenic Yellow
Member
Why not just date her casually with no expectations right now? If those feelings don't fade, don't start a relationship with her.
Christberg
Member
It's generally best to just let things play out and not over analyze things. Harder to do than it sounds when you're nervous because you like somebody though.
I did something similar yesterday. I called a girl that I'm going on a second date with tomorrow. I was nervous because I invited her over for home cooked meal + movie date and I felt like I might have been pushing it too hard. We kind of left off half conversation on what we were doing the day before and I was scared that I'd gone and screwed it up by being too forward.
Nope.
stn
Member
I've generally found that everyone online is picky, more-or-less. I can admit that I'm quite picky myself, I've ignored over 50 different messages since only last month. The moment you see a girl on OKC with "replies very selectively" you know she's picky, too. Don't be bitter about it, everyone does it. Including yourself, otherwise you'd have tried it out with those girls below your own level.
Also, try OKC. Unlike POF there are ways to promote your profile and get views, so if you're good looking you'll have much better chances. All it involves is spending 2 minutes a day answering the match questions.
I think that last paragraph makes it clear why you weren't successful on POF.
First of all, 40-50 messages? Holy shit dude. I've sent out maybe 30 in my entire life and its led to at least 10 meetings. I get about one unsolicited message a week.
So, yeah, you are doing something wrong.
To be fair, POF strongly rewards those who are active. Just being logged in makes you appear more often on the screen for women. So you get more exposure the more often you login and the longer you stay online.
stn said:
You received 50 messages in one month? I would love to see what you look like; I also doubt you're in NY. And why would I "try it out" with girls who are well below my level of attractiveness? I'm not talking I'm an 8 and they're a 7.5 - most of them were like 5-6's. Sorry, but no. Attraction matters.
EDIT: And note that I said that I am not exclusively messaging 9's and 10's.
I've tried OKC with similar results.
Zing said:
What are you referring to exactly? Perhaps you misread my post.
Zing said:
Are you in NY? That was really the crux of my post. I'm pretty sure that the climate here in NY re: online dating is different than in, say, Virginia, Texas, or even Cali. if you are in NY and get one message per week I'd love to see a pic lol.
I'm really curious to hear from anyone who lives in NYC (Brooklyn/Queens etc.) about their experiences with these apps.
stn
Member
No, I'm not in NY. My city is probably smaller in population if anything. You misunderstood what I was saying. I'm not suggesting you try it out with girls you're not attracted to, I'm merely saying that everyone on there is shallow. I then used you as an example since you personally chose not to test the waters with 5's and 6's.
Attraction DOES matter, I agree. But then you shouldn't be surprised when a bunch of girls don't respond, because they're thinking the same thing. If anything, they have many more options on there by virtue of being women.
Try OKC again but spend time each day answering questions. It puts your profile at the top and WILL get you views. When I answer questions I receive about 100 views a week. When I don't it goes down to about 20.
Sucks but at least you got great sexy time out of it. Look at it from that perspective and get back out there!richisawesome said:
Obviously the reason I'm not getting more play on these sites is because of "attraction" (i.e., they don't find me attractive enough). This is why I said that I'm not messaging 9's and 10's. I've been told by several credible female friends that I'm an 8.0-8.5. One of my attractive female friends told me several years back that "when you walk into a room, people notice - whatever 'it' is, you've got it." I don't say this to brag or inflate myself in any way, only to make my point clearer. And that point is this:
Yes, apparently girls in NY aren't attracted enough to me (online at least - in real life I don't have any problems) to message me or respond to my messages. But this differs from me not responding to those who are messaging me in an important way: the girls I'm not responding to are, say, 5's and 6's. I'm at least an 8. The girls who aren't responding to me are not 9.5-10's, however (which would be the analogous situation) - they're largely 7.5's-8.5's. So it is my belief that NY girls have unrealistic opinions of their own level of attractiveness and what they "deserve."
And to preempt the obvious conclusion one might wish to draw, yes, I am being objective about both myself and these other people.
I am again curious to hear from anyone located in NYC who has success on POF/OKC (receiving unsolicited messages, getting a good response rate etc.), and would love to see what they look like. Your comment about your town being smaller has no bearing here, because I believe this is cultural, and specific to NYC. As I noted earlier, myself and several male friends have all remarked about how much more approachable/receptive/forward girls in several other US states are. It's night and day.
stn
Member
In other words: people online are shallow. Girls or guys fishing on OKC aren't going to sit back and critique what they "deserve", they're going to attempt to attract people they're attracted to. I've often been told I'm an 8.5 with the potential for 9+ if I put on muscle (I'm skinny). I have been messaged (forgive me for the shallowness of this) by all kinds of girls, some even below a 5. There were a few that were insecure enough that they only sent me pics after I requested them.
Do they "deserve" me? Sure, why not? Its up to them to try and see what happens, I don't think they're being unrealistic or whatever. When I used to message girls on OKC I was only messaging the 9's and 10's. Do I deserve a 10 even though I'm an 8.5-9? Hell yeah, why not? This becomes even more relevant because, personally, I think I'm no higher than a 7.
Also, keep in mind the following. Lots of 5's and 6's on there will attempt to woo the best looking people because they might lack the confidence to do so in real-life. Its easy online because you just click and BAM. I assume its much easier for most people to do that as opposed to approaching someone in person.
This is where I'm at right now. I've had this exact talk with her.
I'm keeping my options open in the meantime.
Not sure if it's the right move as we click so well, but time will tell.
stn
Member
No worries. If you have no problems getting girls in real-life then I suggest you stick to it. Online can be very messy, weird, and chaotic sometimes. If you like I'd be willing to critique your profile or messages. Maybe there's something there you're unaware of that's turning people off? Generally good looking folks should have no problems being messaged.
- Status