Yeah I guess so. I had a really good friend for years till I moved to Ireland, that was 6 years ago, and we still talk, but I haven't seen him in such a long time, its not the same, I'd like it again.
Well, we are often not in control when friends and romantic partners and family members exit our lives for shorter or longer, or even permanent periods of time.
All, I'll say is that, being brave, means trying to do something about your demons. That's easier said than done, and I know it from my own life how that fight is a struggle ones entire life, but I think it is still worth a fight.
The thing about social anxiety from what I've seen is that we are often preoccupied about what other people are thinking about us. That is a weird thing to be fixated on, when really we should be thinking; what are other people thinking about themselves?
Eckartt Tolle (I haven't read his book, only an exert in an article) said that when he was going through a suicidal depression he one day, had this thought "I can't stand the me inside of me".
I began thinking that there was two of him. There was the "I" and the "Me". And one of them was who he really was, and then other was just his negative thoughts which reinforced how he perceived himself.
As far as I could understand it, his breakthrough was that, he could not distiniguish between his negative thought patterns, anxiety and constant fears, from his true being. The things had become so inter-connected. And I guess that is what his book is about.
In Psychology they talk about the power of body language, speech and posture effects the way you feel about yourself. It's why looking at someones body language is how we often subconsciously decide if someone is confident. But we live in a world that puts so much emphasis on words and talking. You go to an English exam. You don't go to an exam in body language, tone, eye contact and posture. Even though many of these things decides if you get the job, if you can build empathy with others, if they trust you.
Instead we put all the emphasis on the words, and that is wrong I think. Because it puts people in a place, where only smooth talkers can excel. The rest have to learn the other traits of communication between people.
I keep getting stunned when I read about some of my favorite people who was incredible introverted and had social anxiety. Like Queens Freddy Mercury. The guy was a total recluse, who was raised in a strange religion, grew up as gay in a time when that was not accepted, and really only had one friend.
But when you see Freddy Mercury on stage he is like the most powerful performer in the world. It really tells us, that brilliant people can really have difficult time playing all these small chit-chat games in the social sphere.
I think a great deal number of people, live in shadows. Many of whom, even people who do have social lives, live in a vacuum because of either being afraid of being alone (like my father) or feel pressure from society for being alone.
There is nothing wrong with being alone, but for my moneys worth, I have always often interpretated the things I am most scared about, or the things I have the most anxiety about, as the things I really should do, because at the end of the day, the only thing that is really scary, is laying on your death bed thinking about all the regrets.
When you read some of the articles about people who are 90 years old, and being asked about "what do you regret the most?" the unanimous answer among all of them is being afraid to take a leap of faith and do that thing that scared them.
We're all limited by our fears all the damn time. It takes tremendous courage and heart to put yourself out there, to suffer every day because you want to do something. To consciously decide that you want it to hurt now, but to feel better long term. That takes maturity.
Whatever capacity it may happen in, and in whatever way you may want to do it, or not do it, is up to you. As corny as it sounds, you already know what you really need, because you know the feel when you feel it. It's as simple as that.
And no person will ever feel the way you feel about something, so nobody else matters than you, and that is an encouraging thought, since you don't need others to control how to live your lfie. You can live it on your terms, and nobody else knows those terms better than you! Aka, being true to yourself!
