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Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.

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Hm, is it maybe because you have school or a job in the current area?

I know the feeling of seeing others around you growing up and feeling a but left behind, but you definitely aren't too old or anything! 22 is super young even if it doesn't feel like it.

BTW if you don't mind me asking, have you considered therapy? I think I recall you mentioning social anxiety and some abuse, maybe therapy could help you work on those feelings.
 
I have a job, but its only a supermarket joint, which he knows. I don't blame him for not wanting me there but like, it still hurts.

I did try therapy before, CBT I think they call it? Found it ridiculously unhelpful.
 
Sometimes, I feel absolutely awful. I have these conversations to people where I'm very upbeat yet feel...horrible at the same time. I wish this feeling would go away. I get very depressed soon after this moments. I'm experiencing it now.
 
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared said:
I have a job, but its only a supermarket joint, which he knows. I don't blame him for not wanting me there but like, it still hurts.

I did try therapy before, CBT I think they call it? Found it ridiculously unhelpful.
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Has a doc tried putting you on any type of meds? Those can work well for some (helped me a lot).

It's def tough to be a spot where you don't know what to do next in life. There's no right answer, but there are lots of choices.
 
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared said:
And I'm just me. And earlier this evening, my mums boyfriend asked me if we could have a chat, man to man, he's very nice like that. He's going to propose to her, and him, my mum, and my younger sister are all going to move. And he doesn't want me to come. It mean its not an unreasonable thing, and he wasn't unpleasant about it, I am 22 (only just) He said he'll help me out and we'll help you get settled and you can come visit anytime.
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TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared said:
I have a job, but its only a supermarket joint, which he knows. I don't blame him for not wanting me there but like, it still hurts.

I did try therapy before, CBT I think they call it? Found it ridiculously unhelpful.
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How long has your mum been with him? And have you talked to her about these plans? If your job at the supermarket is your only source of income atm, it seems pretty unreasonable for him to expect you to fully sustain yourself on that sort of wage. Also, if you're currently not in the best place, mental health wise, having that family support in place can be important on-route to bettering yourself. But I don't know what the family situation is like for you at home, so obviously can't say that for sure.

There are a number of therapy options that can be provided through the NHS, depending on what types of therapy your local CMHT provides. And success with this varying, depending on how suitable the type of therapy is for you, and how well you connect with the therapist that sees you.

I tried CBT, and it was a bit of a bust for me as well. Never felt like I was given the opportunity to talk about things in much detail, not a lot of expansive questions being asked of me, and everything was firmly focused on the present. Basically found it to be quite simplistic, and linear in approach. Seemed more suited to those with less long term, or complex issues.

Seeing a psychologist atm, which has been better, and her approach doesn't suffer from those same flaws. And it has been going at a pace that I'm more comfortable with. My long way of saying that there are other options available that you may not have tried yet, and not to give up with talking therapy all together. The antidepressant I'm on has also been helpful in giving me a more stable mood.

Icomp said:
Have finally gotten a doctors appointment and I'm currently in one of my upper moodswings. What do I do?
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Yeah, this can be a pain. It's happened to me before on better days, and has resulted in me giving less detailed information, as some things weren't currently affecting me at the time. Best thing to do would be to wait until your mood drops, and write down notes about what was bothering you at the time, and how you felt. Doesn't have to be done in great detail either, it can just be small notes to remind yourself on what things you feel will be important to cover at your appointment.
 
They've been going out 2 years, nearly 2 and a half. He has a fair bit of money in his pocket. She hasn't spoken to me about it yet, but she did tell me they're expecting another baby before she went to work this morning. So, makes more sense I guess.
 
Hey guys. I want somebody's opinion. I'm 20 and in community college. I'm about 2 years in, and at least a year behind. I decided to go for a stem degree, just because, so I have a lot of math, chemistry and physics classes to take. So far I've failed or dropped a handful of classes (and wasted two semesters bsing french class, which I later learned I didn't need at all). My study habits are poor. I barely pay attention in class, hardly ever do assignments, and never ask for help. It's also very difficult for me to retain number sequences (formulas and things like that) and I think I'm a slow thinker. So overall, I do bad in school, have a vague, arbitrary idea of what I'm aiming to do with myseld, and cause of depression I have virtually no reason to try at things. I feel everything is pointless. So, should I just drop out of school for a year or two, seek out some help and try to create some sort of stability for my life?
 
Pizarro said:
Hey guys. I want somebody's opinion. I'm 20 and in community college. I'm about 2 years in, and at least a year behind. I decided to go for a stem degree, just because, so I have a lot of math, chemistry and physics classes to take. So far I've failed or dropped a handful of classes (and wasted two semesters bsing french class, which I later learned I didn't need at all). My study habits are poor. I barely pay attention in class, hardly ever do assignments, and never ask for help. It's also very difficult for me to retain number sequences (formulas and things like that) and I think I'm a slow thinker. So overall, I do bad in school, have a vague, arbitrary idea of what I'm aiming to do with myseld, and cause of depression I have virtually no reason to try at things. I feel everything is pointless. So, should I just drop out of school for a year or two, seek out some help and try to create some sort of stability for my life?
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Yes. Definitely.
 
See the mental health center at your campus. You could also do part time and since it is in a CC, there is not a great financial penalty. I would avoid dropping all together as classes can be a form of structure and socialization.
 
Unlikely as it may seem, just being around people makes a difference.

If you're just going to lull then yes, it might be negative but if you're going to be proactive and try to get better then a break might be useful.
 
After some time with my psychiatrist and some medication my social anxiety starts to get better.
I even have one friend that pushes me into some harsh situations that give me some really intense fear with the usuall pattern of
sweating,nervous,heart pounding>oh no people see me going crazy>more sweating,nervous >brain switching off
Its always the same but at least i do stuff that i simply could not do alone like going to a birthday party and even traveling.

But the better i get the more i noticed that my psychiatrist had it wrong its not all just in my head people really seem to have a problem with me.
People talk normally to my friend, but as soon as i open my mouth its over.
I can see it in their face they get tense, give short answers, blatantly avoided eye contact, look away while i talk with them and all around look really uncomfortable.
The crazy thing is that these are not single incidents this is what usually is happening.
This leads to really strange occurrences that make me feel like a freak for example someone asking a question about me but they ask my friend and not me even if i stand right there..i mean wtf
So anyone have experience with something like this? Or am i going crazy?
 
I suppose after 3 months of pushing it aside, hiding it, and ignoring it, my feelings are finally catching up to me. It's finally hit me that I'll never be able to trust her again, that I have nobody to go to, nobody to trust, nobody that understands me as much as she did. She's gone for good. Apparently it's much easier to leave after saying you love me and you'd never leave. It's all finally caught up to me. Certainly was a New Years I'll never forget at least.
 
I've missed a group assignment in college today that was 20% of the grade. I actually did get up, get dressed and showered, I have the work done for it, but I just didn't go in, I thought I was gonna be sick and I started panicking.
 
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared said:
I've missed a group assignment in college today that was 20% of the grade. I actually did get up, get dressed and showered, I have the work done for it, but I just didn't go in, I thought I was gonna be sick and I started panicking.
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Hey don't worry, I've been there. Have you emailed someone to explain? My university has been extremely forgiving and accommodating with regard to my mental health and the problems it's caused. I've had retroactive extensions and been allowed to resit exams I didn't go to for full credit (usually you can't get above 40% in resits).

You should let someone know quickly even if it's just an email so they know that it's not that your slacking and that you have actually done the work.
 
Thinking about telling my psychiatrist about starting to take less antidepressants to eventually stop altogether. After half a year I'm feeling no change at all. Probably need a lifestyle change, not meds.
 
AngryMoth said:
Hey don't worry, I've been there. Have you emailed someone to explain? My university has been extremely forgiving and accommodating with regard to my mental health and the problems it's caused. I've had retroactive extensions and been allowed to resit exams I didn't go to for full credit (usually you can't get above 40% in resits).

You should let someone know quickly even if it's just an email so they know that it's not that your slacking and that you have actually done the work.
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I sent her an email, but I dunno how my group is gonna be with me :(
 
My father is going to destroy our family if things aren’t going to change soon.

To sum it up: In October 2013 my younger brother, a car mechanic, got an old car from a friend to fix. The car was not in a condition to drive around with, yet my brother did (without a license). One night he drove to party with that car. He wanted to drive 6 other people home with that thing. He went too fast and crashed. One person drowned in a nearby river, the rest were all injured.

Ever since that day, my father completely changed. He is a broken man and doesn’t care about bills or anything like that and he neglects his wife and his other 3 children. He cries every day about my brother, he talks about hanging himself and he takes the blame for the accident, even though he did nothing wrong.

Every other person learned to live with the situation. Even my brother adjusted to his life in prison and is doing ok in there, but my dad refuses nearly every help. I hope that he will be under medical treatment soon and that that will actually help him a little bit.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I thought I was doing fine, but the last few days got me down pretty good. I feel so goddamn helpless and useless. I’m afraid of losing my dad and that we will lose our house. On top of that, there’s also me looking for job for months without success (and going back to school is not an option till my dad is better; I don’t want to be an even bigger burden).

I’ve been thinking about talking to him alone, but I’m not sure if that will help at all.
 
Lurked a while but only now got the confidence to post.

I have agoraphobia since 2008. It happened during my university study, three years in. It changed my life to the absolute worst direction. Had to "pause" my studies. Went back home after a two year struggle to get my shit together at the city where I studied. It didn't work out.

Now, many years later and many doctors, meds and therapies later, I am a wreck. I am useless. I am only a burden to my family. They support me, they help me but I feel like utter trash. I just waste away.

I can't blame anyone but me for I am too weak to fight back. I just wither. I feel worthless and only a burden. I can't go out and work to at least buy more than a couple bundle games every now and then.

It has been well over two years that I left the town I live now. It only has about 10k residents. It has been over two years that I left my house for more than ~700m

I hate myself for being stuck in the situation I am. I hate myself for disappointing everyone around me - which is only my family.

I would literally starve do death in the streets if I would have to get by myself. Being absolutely dependent is horrible.

And I have no clue or power anymore how to get out of this.

I just needed to vent and someone to hear.
 
I'm trying to accept being forever alone but I don't know how to stop being attracted to women. I might be happy if I could figure out how to stop wanting what I can't have. Any ideas?
 
Anti depressants completely killed my depression and anxiety HOWEVER

IMO, they turn you into a zombie. They get rid of the lows but they kill any highs too. I don't look forward or enjoy things the way I used to. Also, something with alcohol problems should not take these things because 3 drinks + effexor = instant blackout.
 
I've been feeling pretty down the last couple of days.

I have a big presentation coming up in my class next week and I'm super anxious and scared about that. I got told about my ex-girlfriend saying mean shit about me on Tumblr, and it's upsetting how hurtful that still is and how lonely it makes me feel. Also, seeing the stuff, it's super garbage and not true, but I can't really say anything about it.

I've been too busy to go to the gym in like a week, and I don't think that's helping either since exercise usually makes me feel better.

My anxiety about everything has gotten way worse. I feel like I can't relax ever, I'm stressed even when I literally don't have anything to be stressed about. I kinda gave that a pass last semester because of how much I had going on, but it's starting to get worrying. I've been doing online tests (I know) and they say I have the symptoms of Generialized Anxiety Disorder. I should look into that more but knowing me I won't.

I feel really depressed and have been coming home and just wanting to go to sleep immediately. I've been doing really well the last couple of weeks too, it sucks feeling like I'm going backwards.
 
Been having a lot of anxiety about the future recently. Feel like I'm wasting my time at college when the end result is just going to be the same: unable to find a real job and be stuck working in retail for the rest of my life, but with crushing student loan debt to deal with.

Part of me knows its a bit silly to be worrying that much when I'm only in my second semester, but I just can't shake the feeling that its all pointless I'm just wasting my time and money. The overwhelming consensus seems to be that if you're not in STEM you're absolutely fucked.
 
grap3fruitman said:
I'm trying to accept being forever alone but I don't know how to stop being attracted to women. I might be happy if I could figure out how to stop wanting what I can't have. Any ideas?
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Couple years ago i could have sworn i was able to figure out how to have these lucid dreams where i was in relationships and shit and was hopeful that would work out for me but then they vanished fairly quickly. Have no idea how that happened. Would have been great to supplement my shit life.
 
Pretty bad now. Its pretty wide open im fucked mentally at work. Been hiding it for years but stopped giving a shit. Basically alienating everyone. Im the office freak now. Was told i need to get 'happy'. Yeah this is how i finally snap i think.
 
DevelopmentArrested said:
Anti depressants completely killed my depression and anxiety HOWEVER

IMO, they turn you into a zombie. They get rid of the lows but they kill any highs too. I don't look forward or enjoy things the way I used to. Also, something with alcohol problems should not take these things because 3 drinks + effexor = instant blackout.
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I had a similar experience, in terms of the 'zombie' effect.
 
-sigh- My mom is getting all giddy about me applying for a job in Japan, has gotten to that asking every week point and "aww shoot" when I say there is not update yet. I really want the job obviously but her getting excited about the prospects of me getting it is not helping when there is a super damn high chance I did not. I know its one of those parents rooting for you deals but really kinda having my doubts raised more and more each day lol, hate to disappoint them as well as be disappointed in myself.

+1 to anxiety I guess.
 
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared said:
Hope it goes/went well man :)
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Thanks! I think it went well.

We met online, and had been talking for two weeks prior to meeting. Ended up deciding to go to a movie, but had talked about things like cudding (and further) before. Just as talk, though - no plans to actually be overly forward on the first date.

Sometimes you get to a point where you talk so much that things come up, I guess. I normally have 0 luck talking to girls, though.

Anyways, I put my arm around her and she got close for most of the movie, and we held hands a bit. She took on a raincheck on the coffee afterwards, though, because (as I could tell during the movie) she was tired and had to get up at 7am for work. But she seemed really interested in hanging out again.

The only thing is that she said she'd text me after getting home, but didn't. She's prone to falling asleep quickly on me, though.
 
OCDChewie said:
Thanks! I think it went well.

We met online, and had been talking for two weeks prior to meeting. Ended up deciding to go to a movie, but had talked about things like cudding (and further) before. Just as talk, though - no plans to actually be overly forward on the first date.

Sometimes you get to a point where you talk so much that things come up, I guess. I normally have 0 luck talking to girls, though.

Anyways, I put my arm around her and she got close for most of the movie, and we held hands a bit. She took on a raincheck on the coffee afterwards, though, because (as I could tell during the movie) she was tired and had to get up at 7am for work. But she seemed really interested in hanging out again.

The only thing is that she said she'd text me after getting home, but didn't. She's prone to falling asleep quickly on me, though.
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So much for that. Apparently I'm a nice and accepting guy, but she's not ready for a relationship. Though the date was good?

I don't know what to believe.

Back to feeling like shit.
 
So.. I went to the appointment and I felt like the biggest idiot. I couldn't think of anything to say besides I have mood-swings and some of the general symptons.. He looked sceptical but he did book me with a psychiatrist (3-4 weeks to know WHEN I'm getting a real appointment..).

Colin. said:
Yeah, this can be a pain. It's happened to me before on better days, and has resulted in me giving less detailed information, as some things weren't currently affecting me at the time. Best thing to do would be to wait until your mood drops, and write down notes about what was bothering you at the time, and how you felt. Doesn't have to be done in great detail either, it can just be small notes to remind yourself on what things you feel will be important to cover at your appointment.
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Tbh it just feels like I'm wasting everybodys time. Right now I don't even think anything is wrong with me. That's until my depression comes back. Even a co-worker pointed out my mood-swings this week, it was awkward.
 
I am having a really hard time with the whole "you are not your diagnoses" tidbit.

I have my intermittent explosive disorder and cyclothymia under wraps mostly through Lamictal. I have accepted those things and moved on

However, I also have Borderline Personality Disorder and misophonia. There is little clinical understanding of misophonia, and it affects me greatly on a day to day basis. It has lost me many jobs and friendships. My BPD is very hard to deal with. It's like you're scared everything you say and do is just another way of manipulating people because, well, it is. There are other things involved there, too.

These things make it very difficult to function on a daily basis. My psychiatrist is helping with the other things, but my therapist is using treatment methods as if I has PTSD. It isn't useful. I always feel like Im manipulating my therapists too.

It's okay that there's no magic pill to help me, but there's also no tried and true therapy methods either. I am at a loss, and I am tired of living like this.
 
I hate feeling so down while being sick and during the recovery process. The negative head space is very frustrating. I just feel helpless and vulnerable, it's quite bizarre coming to the realization of how alone you can be when you're ill (in my case a viral infection). Even the road to recovery has been slow and just as frustrating as when being sick (I just wish my lost energy would return).
 
A wave of depression has come over me tonight. I just can't feel happy about anything at the moment. On Wednesday I managed to pick apart what should have been a great moment to how it reflexes my inadequacies and situation.
 
I'm feeling pretty down right now.

I've been losing weight for some time. i've done pretty well. I've lost about 99 pounds as of today.

Today my best friend gets home and he wants to order a bacon wrapped pizza. I'd already eaten dinner and in any case no way in hell am I touching something like a bacon wrapped pizza on a day that isn't a cheat day. He and my other roommate bring back the pizza.

He offers me a slice and turn it down. He then gets upset and keeps pushing saying I'm being illogical about not wanting to take a bite. For me, it's a matter of self control. I take one bite and I'm worried I'll start going all in on the pizza.

He keeps pushing and pushing, eventually saying he's going to start dogging me out on the days when I do eat whatever I want.

Eventually I snapped and made a comment like "Look, keep pushing and I'm going to want to throw that pizza in the garbage."

Then all of a sudden he starts going off on me about how's going to move out if I dare you. He then said he's just going to stare at me the rest of the night while eating a bunch of shit because I am a "fucking loser". He said some really rough shit like how he's going to "leave me behind" because he doesn't need any "repressed angry people" in his life. I retorted by saying "Since you're my best friend, I would expect you to support me, not try to deter me".

So now I'm feeling pretty negative about something I'm usually pretty positive about. I view my weight loss as an achievement, and now I feel like I'm a piece of shit.
 
Megalosaro said:
I'm feeling pretty down right now.

I've been losing weight for some time. i've done pretty well. I've lost about 99 pounds as of today.

Today my best friend gets home and he wants to order a bacon wrapped pizza. I'd already eaten dinner and in any case no way in hell am I touching something like a bacon wrapped pizza on a day that isn't a cheat day. He and my other roommate bring back the pizza.

He offers me a slice and turn it down. He then gets upset and keeps pushing saying I'm being illogical about not wanting to take a bite. For me, it's a matter of self control. I take one bite and I'm worried I'll start going all in on the pizza.

He keeps pushing and pushing, eventually saying he's going to start dogging me out on the days when I do eat whatever I want.

Eventually I snapped and made a comment like "Look, keep pushing and I'm going to want to throw that pizza in the garbage."

Then all of a sudden he starts going off on me about how's going to move out if I dare you. He then said he's just going to stare at me the rest of the night while eating a bunch of shit because I am a "fucking loser". He said some really rough shit like how he's going to "leave me behind" because he doesn't need any "repressed angry people" in his life. I retorted by saying "Since you're my best friend, I would expect you to support me, not try to deter me".

So now I'm feeling pretty negative about something I'm usually pretty positive about. I view my weight loss as an achievement, and now I feel like I'm a piece of shit.
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Congrats on the weight loss, that is awesome and you should be proud!

I have a very difficult time comprehending how your friend reacted. Sounds like he has his own issues to deal with.
 
bronkonagurski said:
Congrats on the weight loss, that is awesome and you should be proud!

I have a very difficult time comprehending how your friend reacted. Sounds like he has his own issues to deal with.
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He does. He's the type of guy that when he wants someone to do something, and when they don't he keeps pestering until they do it. He wanted me to partake in the pizza with him, and when I didn't and then finally threatened to throw it away, he viewed it as an act of defiance.
 
Megalosaro said:
He does. He's the type of guy that when he wants someone to do something, and when they don't he keeps pestering until they do it. He wanted me to partake in the pizza with him, and when I didn't and then finally threatened to throw it away, he viewed it as an act of defiance.
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Man, he sounds like a bad friend. You need to cut people like that out of your life.
 
Megalosaro said:
I'm feeling pretty down right now.

I've been losing weight for some time. i've done pretty well. I've lost about 99 pounds as of today.

Today my best friend gets home and he wants to order a bacon wrapped pizza. I'd already eaten dinner and in any case no way in hell am I touching something like a bacon wrapped pizza on a day that isn't a cheat day. He and my other roommate bring back the pizza.

He offers me a slice and turn it down. He then gets upset and keeps pushing saying I'm being illogical about not wanting to take a bite. For me, it's a matter of self control. I take one bite and I'm worried I'll start going all in on the pizza.

He keeps pushing and pushing, eventually saying he's going to start dogging me out on the days when I do eat whatever I want.

Eventually I snapped and made a comment like "Look, keep pushing and I'm going to want to throw that pizza in the garbage."

Then all of a sudden he starts going off on me about how's going to move out if I dare you. He then said he's just going to stare at me the rest of the night while eating a bunch of shit because I am a "fucking loser". He said some really rough shit like how he's going to "leave me behind" because he doesn't need any "repressed angry people" in his life. I retorted by saying "Since you're my best friend, I would expect you to support me, not try to deter me".

So now I'm feeling pretty negative about something I'm usually pretty positive about. I view my weight loss as an achievement, and now I feel like I'm a piece of shit.
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Your friend is wrong to act that way. He knows that you're trying to be disciplined in order to lose weight, right? There's no reason why he shouldn't respect your wishes regarding something important like weight loss/health. If he treats you like that on a regular basis, you'd probably be better off if he did move out.
 
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