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Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
- Start date
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Have fun!
So, weirdest thing. Had a date last Friday and it seemed to go really well, and we texted back and forth a bit later that night. Then I texted her in the morning asking if she was free for dinner this week, and never heard back from her. Got positive vibes from the date and everything, just weird to get blown off like that.
So finally heard back from her & what she said was that she enjoyed hanging out & that a date night would be fun, but because she's leaving in a few months for Chicago (which is what she mentioned when we first met, so I know it's the truth), she can't really have a relationship now because she wants to focus on medical school once she moves, & no use starting something she won't be able to continue.
& honestly, I'm fine with that. I don't feel as though I should get in the way of someone's career/education, and she still wants to hang out, which is still nice because I didn't have many female friends growing up.
Plus it was still a good learning experience & once again, I do appreciate everyone's advice here, which I'll use next time.
& honestly, I'm fine with that. I don't feel as though I should get in the way of someone's career/education, and she still wants to hang out, which is still nice because I didn't have many female friends growing up.
Plus it was still a good learning experience & once again, I do appreciate everyone's advice here, which I'll use next time.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Cold feet, second thoughts, met someone better, etc. It happens. I've had girls that agree to a second date at the end of the first one and then change their mind the next day.
MonorailCat
Member
Had a date today. Seems like another dud. She stopped the date two hours in and insisted on splitting the bill. Initiated no body contact at all and always sat far away.
Got the "next time we can do this and that"... But she knows there will be no next time. Fadeout incoming.
But this time I don't blame myself. It felt like I had to carry the whole conversation all the time.
Got the "next time we can do this and that"... But she knows there will be no next time. Fadeout incoming.
But this time I don't blame myself. It felt like I had to carry the whole conversation all the time.
Big Papa Husker
Member
Here is a link to the Online Dating thread: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=850646
Anyway, when I write a message I say hello, introduce myself and comment about something that I find interesting in their profile and ask them something related to that thing. I usually stick to one or two things, because if it is any longer, they might just pass over it.
I haven't had any replies for a while (lol), but I've been told that is a good template to follow when writing messages.
grap3fruitman
Banned
Any tips for talking to women at the gym? I just wussed out and this girl was staring right at me and now she left. 
Not sure what either of those was supposed to tell me.
So what should I do about all the women looking at me at the gym? I thought it might have been because they were interested in me. :/
I'm not confident, don't know how to initiate a conversation and I don't have what she wants (whatever that is). That's why I'm looking for beginner advice.
Okay but how? That was my question above.
Just being honest.
I don't understand, if it's supposed to come naturally, then how do I work on it?
But I'm not, which is why I'm looking for how to improve and everyone said I just shouldn't bother at all.
I don't. Again, this is why I'm asking for help. Please.
Yeah I live in Boston but I still feel like I've exhausted my area. I have a certain style I like and I usually don't get replies from the few that look rad. The competition is out there so it's tough to shine through it seems.
Any tips for talking to women at the gym? I just wussed out and this girl was staring right at me and now she left.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhmcJ7Zg5ko
and
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvKeDr3k7n0
Amory
Member
So I'm seeing this girl and she's great. We've slept together a few times and the sex is awesome, but she's very loud. Which actually would normally be a pretty big turn-on, but I live in a 3 unit condo building with thin walls so it's kind of embarrassing, to the point where it kind of takes me out of the experience. I'm also not looking to piss off my neighbors.
I'm planning to just tell her, but this is all still pretty new and I don't want to hurt her feelings or anything. Any advice on how I should ask her to be a little quieter?
I'm planning to just tell her, but this is all still pretty new and I don't want to hurt her feelings or anything. Any advice on how I should ask her to be a little quieter?
Indeed it is. I'm in a smaller city, but my range brings me into the Twin Cities. Unfortunately their range doesn't bring them out here at all.
Oh well.
Also, probably not the greatest idea to try and pick up woman at the gym. Lots of them are just there to work out and leave. Unless she's the desk clerk.
If you get a complaint make a friendly joke about it with the neighbour, the next time you're with her bring it up that you guys got a complaint and be light-hearted about it, she'll keep it in mind
Any tips for talking to women at the gym? I just wussed out and this girl was staring right at me and now she left.
You generally don't want to chat up people at the gym. I mean, I suppose you could, but women are mainly just there to work out.
Any tips for talking to women at the gym? I just wussed out and this girl was staring right at me and now she left.
Not sure what either of those was supposed to tell me.
So what should I do about all the women looking at me at the gym? I thought it might have been because they were interested in me. :/
What don't you understand? There's never going to be one clear answer that someone can tell you on how to hit on women. Everyone is different and every situation is different.
The key to take away from those videos is you must have confidence and be kind of like a bad boy, you need to have that edge to stand out. Having that edge could be a great joke, or a well placed sarcastic comment. It's about initiating conversation and then feeling her vibe and moving with the tides. The "You're so money." line refers to the fact that you've got what she wants, as long as you are confident about yourself she'll be interested.
You don't have to talk to them? If you want to, just strike up a normal conversation or something. You don't have to hit on them or anything.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Sucks that flaking and fading aren't exclusive to dating. Friends fall off the face of the earth because you don't initiate anything.
Any tips for talking to women at the gym? I just wussed out and this girl was staring right at me and now she left.
Not sure what either of those was supposed to tell me.
So what should I do about all the women looking at me at the gym? I thought it might have been because they were interested in me. :/
I'm not confident, don't know how to initiate a conversation and I don't have what she wants (whatever that is). That's why I'm looking for beginner advice.
Okay but how? That was my question above.
Well confidence is the first step. If you aren't in love with who you are it's going to show to her. You need to be comfortable in your own skin to move forward. It seems as though you constantly like to say you can't do something or don't have the confidence. Confidence is something you make, not earn. It should come naturally, if it doesn't then you need to work on that first.
Secondly, you saying that you don't have what she wants is already giving up. With that attitude you won't be able to have those conversations. I'm not trying to be harsh but you need to change your attitude to believing that you are capable and able to talk to women. You need to try. You will get rejected and maybe even laughed at, at least you'll know that that girl isn't the one, but you're never gonna find out without at least trying.
Goodness, why do you keep editing your post? It's hard to follow when you reply.
Anyway, think of it this way... how do you talk with your family, or close friends? Many people think it's completely different when talking to a stranger, but it's really not. I mean, yeah, you'll have to introduce yourself, but from there it's more or less the same. Since you're at a gym, you can thread in something about working out into it to help the conversation flow. So like, "Hey there, I'm grap3, nice to meet you! I saw you were doing [exercise], any tips on proper form you can give me?" or whatever. It's the same for any place really, you just need a little situational awareness.
But yeah, as Lucky said, you do need confidence in yourself. If you don't have that, it'll really show through your actions.
I know, it sucks.
I lost a friend recently because he simply didn't want to put the slightest effort into the (platonic) relationship. I'd always intiate convos, he'd never talk to me beyond whatever questions I would pose or ask me anything, flake when I'd make plans, etc. It's funny how the advice for friendships and romantic relationships are not always mutually exclusive 
Raptomex
Member
I had this discussion with a few friends the other week, actually. I don't drink so I don't go to bars. Plus from what I hear the prices for a drink are outrageous. At least I think so. There's got to be other places but bars seem to be the go-to response from people. Even my friends, who don't even bar hop, rarely drink, hear the same thing. I think it's sad that idea of socializing and "going out" is always associated with alcohol. Just venting, really.
It's not always but yeah I hear you. That's why events like PAX other cons are a lot of fun in terms of socializing and meeting new people.
I just make my own drinks at this point because of prices. But I definitely like to treat myself here or there.
My question at this point is why isn't there a NeoGAF dating site already. Am I rite!?
A GAF dating site would scare off the few girls we have left!
Gray Matter
Member
Yup. Although some gaffers have found love here.
stn
Member
Solution: order a Coke. I have a friend who doesn't drink, he orders some soda all the time. Still goes to every bar and clubbing event that's planned.
FaintColt388301
Member
That great little lady I mentioned previously and I have been official for about a week. Seems so weird to say because it feels like it's been so much longer than that. It's like I've known her for so long.
We've been hanging out almost every day. Spent pretty much like 10 straight days with her. We click so hard. I just want to talk to her all the time. Everything is super natural and it's really nice because we can make fun of each other and both of us understand that we care about each other so it doesn't get taken the wrong way. I really can't say enough nice things about her. Every time I see her I just light up. I've had my fair share of ladies but this one feels different.
I'm happy GAF.
We've been hanging out almost every day. Spent pretty much like 10 straight days with her. We click so hard. I just want to talk to her all the time. Everything is super natural and it's really nice because we can make fun of each other and both of us understand that we care about each other so it doesn't get taken the wrong way. I really can't say enough nice things about her. Every time I see her I just light up. I've had my fair share of ladies but this one feels different.
I'm happy GAF.
FaintColt388301
Member
Oh yeah, for sure. It was mainly due to having the place to myself for awhile. Now I'm back to my routine. Work, train, games, music, whatever else. I'll tame it down to weekends and maybe one night during the week now
ZackieChan
Member
Advice with parents.
It's been eating at me for a while. I love her, but her parents don't show me nor my family any respect. I can deal with the disrespect on my part, I've heard worse my entire life and a lot from my own family. But I do not like hearing about shit on my own family from people who never even met them. Calling my brother diseased because he is autistic or calling my family inferior solely based off my lack of a Bachelor's degree. Not the fact both my parents are far more educated and not reliant on family support.
I'm not really sure if I'm overreacting or not. I'm not even close to my family really, but they've been nothing but open to her and anyone. And I've only just been realizing its getting on my nerves. Is it immature for me to be thinking this way? Its something that is easy to ignore and suck up I figured. But I'm having issues.
It's been eating at me for a while. I love her, but her parents don't show me nor my family any respect. I can deal with the disrespect on my part, I've heard worse my entire life and a lot from my own family. But I do not like hearing about shit on my own family from people who never even met them. Calling my brother diseased because he is autistic or calling my family inferior solely based off my lack of a Bachelor's degree. Not the fact both my parents are far more educated and not reliant on family support.
I'm not really sure if I'm overreacting or not. I'm not even close to my family really, but they've been nothing but open to her and anyone. And I've only just been realizing its getting on my nerves. Is it immature for me to be thinking this way? Its something that is easy to ignore and suck up I figured. But I'm having issues.
what the fuck? how long have you been with this girl for? and what does she have to say about her own family giving yours shit?
Year now, with being friends for 2 and a half.
She is dating me still, so I know she is standing up to them at least. The shit they say about me ranges from really bad to unbelievable stupid. A hint, my name to them is "trash".
She admits they are wrong too, but it's just hasn't been sitting right to me for a while. And I think this weekend was sort of a tipping point. I'm staying with my folks since I moved back after some bad roommates. And my dad came in and said, "My old man said once I was out of the house. I was out of the house for good. Didn't care when, but you go you're gone. But remember, you always have a bed here if you need to come back".
And I think that was the breaking point for me. I'm going to talk to her about this the next time I see her, but I'm tired of hearing about how her parents are upset over something stupid. And this is what pains me the most. I know my parents would be okay with it as long as she makes me happy. They would suck up any hurt from it as long as I wanted to be with her. Its started to feel like I'm selling out my family.
I just don't know if this is part of growing up. Dealing with the folks who don't like you is the normal trope. But some of the stuff she's told me that they said, it makes my family out to be sub human. As I said, I could just be being emotional and immature.
I'm about to schedule my first Tinder date, and my first date since my break up 2 months ago. Not really sure what to do since we've only sent around 10 messages total of typical getting to know you stuff. I guess a restaurant is a safe option.
Don't actually want to go that much but I figure it'll be good for me.
Just got back from this. Went okay, though I definitely felt a little awkward, been a while since I went on a first date. That said there weren't any lulls in the conversation which I think is pretty good for an hour and a half dinner.
At the end she said we should do something again, so that felt nice. And she was definitely a nice person. Honestly I don't really know what I want though so I'm not really pushing anything. She was very normal compared to my ex. My ex was super ambitious, super beautiful, connected to all these successful people, (Arnold Schwarzenegger and Pete Doctor are both family acquaintances of hers, lol) yada yada. I dunno, i'll probably text this girl again tomorrow or the next day and see if she wants to do something, if nothing else comes of it she seemed pleasant to spend time with.
edit: sounds like I'm calling this girl a bumpkin which is not the case, she is attractive too and has her own ambitions, just a bit more of personality you wouldn't be surprised to encounter.
Sectorseven
Member
What's a good way to meet introverts? I'm not talking about shut ins obviously, but people who prefer to spend time just chilling at home or whatever. Online sites seems like the obvious solution, but I don't see many women who describe themselves like that, maybe because it sounds uninteresting in a profile.
seems like every profile i read is "i just like to stay home and watch netflix". keep looking, they're definitely out there.
I think the problem is it's hard to word it in a way on a profile that doesn't make you sound boring. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind, if not prefer dating an introvert since I sort of am one (though I don't mind going out to events & such if they interest me), but I think some people relate "I'm more of a home person" to "I don't like to go out & do fun stuff at different places". That's my guess, though.
Trying to see if my childhood friend or his wife might know anyone. Hoping since we've known each other for so long, maybe I'll have better luck in having a connection if he finds one since he'd know if I'd be interested in dating a certain type of woman.
Raptomex
Member
I do but I'm not into the club scene, myself. I only end up in bars if everybody I'm with agrees to go. But that's rare.
I'm not worried about it. It's just the fact that a bar is the be all end all so it seems.
I don't really care if people know I'm not having a "real" drink.
One of my secret fears while doing online dating was running into a fellow GAFfer.
Congrats, dude :3
Her parents are absolutely disgusting. Being judgemental, calling someone with a mental disability they can't help diseased? That's horrible. And it's something that can corrode a relationship.
For sure, you need to talk to her in a serious manner. Her parents calling you names and being utter shit about your family is not okay at all. She has to stand up to and talk to them; if she can't or doesn't want to, that's shit you'll have to deal with for the rest of your life (if you get married). If she does stand up to them and they still act like shitty preteens about it, she might have to make a choice between them and you, but that's something you don't need to deal with right this second.
But yeah, talk to her, make it clear about your feelings and how you really won't stand for it anymore (because you really, really shouldn't), and hope that her parents realize that they're acting like utter dickholes.
Haloid1177
Banned
I have been trying to figure this out for a while now. Because my friends are introverts too so like I meet no one new.
Clubs with people sharing the same interests as you is a place to start. Also online dating, there's a thread on GAF for it. Tinder, OKCupid, POF are all good for meeting partners.
So texted the pof chick last night to confirm our meet today. No response, might get something later today but I have shit to do to prepare to go back to work tomorrow morning after getting off nights this morning. So it would have been nice to get a response to plan around it.
ZackieChan
Member
Probably best not to compare her to your ex in any way. Let that shit go.
Slept with my girlfriend for the first time. We hardly slept as it was too hot and we tried to sleep together in a one person bed and it was a bit new to us. Still, it was an amazing experience but we're both tired now. Guessing it will get easier the next times.
She is very new to sex and I'm somewhat too. Still, I have read about before so we had a conversation about it in the night. She asked me some things about it. We're thinking of trying it soon. I have to buy condoms for the first time but I have no clue what size I need to get. Guessing just regular ones and try to see if they fit? And having sex for the first time for both of us; communication is key I've heard? Take it slow, listen to each other etc. Do you have any advice?
She is very new to sex and I'm somewhat too. Still, I have read about before so we had a conversation about it in the night. She asked me some things about it. We're thinking of trying it soon. I have to buy condoms for the first time but I have no clue what size I need to get. Guessing just regular ones and try to see if they fit? And having sex for the first time for both of us; communication is key I've heard? Take it slow, listen to each other etc. Do you have any advice?
ZackieChan
Member
Have some humility and humor when doing it - you're both new, so you can explore together. Help each other to understand what you each like, and don't be afraid to try new things while keeping that communication open.
Try on the condoms beforehand to make sure they fit, of course. Nothing more boner-killing than struggling to fit into a too-small condom.
Amory
Member
don't get all wrapped up in trying to remember advice. you'll figure out what to do, just enjoy yourself
MikeHaggar
Member
dating sucks. i either meet women who have great personalities, but don't quite do it for me physically or women who i find attractive, but aspects of their personality are a turn-off. i'm currently invovled with the latter. she's actually really sweet and super into me, but.... yeah, probably not going to go the distance. i'm trying to give it some time though and see.
i really wish i could just find that sweet spot. i don't have super high standards when it comes to looks. and i often find certain women attractive that my friends don't. i guess i'm just picky when it comes to the actual person and who they are. i don't know... just needed to vent i guess. it can be frustrating trying to find that spark.
i really wish i could just find that sweet spot. i don't have super high standards when it comes to looks. and i often find certain women attractive that my friends don't. i guess i'm just picky when it comes to the actual person and who they are. i don't know... just needed to vent i guess. it can be frustrating trying to find that spark.
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