I'm going to be a dad.

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Congrats, my son's birth was, and still is, the greatest day of my life.

I'll get to see him for the first time since December in August (I'm in the air force in Korea and he's in a California).

He's totally looking forward to playing Mario with me.

Becoming a dad is the most rewarding thing that's happened to me.
 
Sandalphon said:
Went with my wife today to the ultrasound and saw the baby for the first time. Completely blew my mind. Like, we made that. Holy crap.

Of course, now comes the massive nerves. Will I be a good father? Can I give this child all the time and chances it deserves and more? I'm scared, but I'm excited as well. Also, I'm 31 and my wife is 30. I think we've had enough fun.

She's due in January, giving me about 6 months to get ready. So Dad-GAF, can I get some tips and tricks, being that most of you have done this before?
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I was 27 when we had our daughter and my wife is the same age as me. My daughter is 21 months now and its crazy. I knew nothing but a lot of what you learn is either instinctual or you get good info from your pediatrician. I recommend going to a birth class which hospitals usually host for free or a small price. For me it wasn't helpful because they always teach you the "best case scenario" where the baby comes out healthy and starts skin to skin right away. For us, our daughter had pneumonia at birth so she was in the nic-U for a week which sucked but now she's extremely healthy and very smart. She already knows her all of her abc and can count to 10 which I think is impressive for a 21 month old.
 
First month will be awful.

Second will almost make it seem like things won't be so bad since all he will do is eat an sleep.

Third month will begin to decimate your free time since he is starting to notice things and you should be interacting as much as possible.

If you happen to get him or her into a decent sleep cycle at this point, forget about it in month four. For some reason babies seem to forget about it at this point.

Fifth and up there will probably be signs of teething, he will begin to roll over, and gain mobility, not to mention start babbling and just experimenting with voice which might freak you out (my guy like to make this gasping for breath sound and love the attention he got for it).
 
Get used to waking up at each of 11pm, 1am, and 3am, and starting your day at 4am. For the first year at least, you'll probably want to go to sleep shortly after your kid does if you want to sleep at all.

Buy one of these: http://www.fridababy.com/shop/nosefrida/.

The hospital may tell you to do lots of things which could make your life much more difficult than it needs to be (like only wash your baby in 1-2 inches of water, or don't bottle feed). If those things are not working for you, then feel free to ignore them. Like if your kid is still hungry (screaming) after breastfeeding, there is nothing wrong with supplementing with formula to make your kid less miserable.
 
Sandalphon said:
Went with my wife today to the ultrasound and saw the baby for the first time. Completely blew my mind. Like, we made that. Holy crap.

Of course, now comes the massive nerves. Will I be a good father? Can I give this child all the time and chances it deserves and more? I'm scared, but I'm excited as well. Also, I'm 31 and my wife is 30. I think we've had enough fun.

She's due in January, giving me about 6 months to get ready. So Dad-GAF, can I get some tips and tricks, being that most of you have done this before?
Click to expand...

| Praxis | said:
Holy shit op, I went with my wife to have her first scan today too! She's due on January 6th

Congratulations

Edit: I'm 32. she's 29 :O
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This is weird. My wife and I are going for the first scan tomorrow. I'm 31, she's 30. Due in January.
 
It no bad as everyone will tell you. Really when the baby comes home it just sleeps all the time. It just crazy howfast they grow.

Really is just the best thing ever. This is coming from someone that never wanted kids.
 
Everyone is different. Babies are also different.
Lots of friends cautioned me: "Enjoy you're sleep now!!", "You won't even have time to take a shower!", "Your life will be completely different!", etc.

Don't believe them. Don't let them scare you.

It might be true. But it might not be. Maybe your baby will be really chill (or not..). Maybe you will pick things up really naturally. Maybe you have a great support network of family and friends.

Personally, the experience has been very pleasant for my wife and I. We haven't gone clubbing, etc. for years so our lifestyles haven't really changed much. I've always suffered from insomnia so not getting great sleep is nothing new to me. I'm good at housework so changing diapers, bathing the baby, and other baby-chores has been no problem. I have a dog already so cleaning poop, wiping bums, and other gross things don't faze me.
 
-Deadpool- said:
Congrats.

We've got a 12 week old girl. It's been the best thing ever.

Like you, we are in our early 30's, had our fun, were ready etc. You'll be fine. Get in there and give your missus lots of help at the start. I changed every nappy, did all the cleanups, pretty much everything besides the breastfeeding (lol) for the first couple weeks until I went back to work. Your missus will likely be anxious about breastfeeding (if you're choosing to do that) and she will appreciate not having other stuff to worry about early on.

The birth was a bit crazy; for me it was just the emotion of seeing my wife go through the pain and crying. Telling midwives "I can't do it, I can't do it, I've got no more", but then digging deep again every time for another push. I was just so proud. It was a rollercoaster of emotion. Again, just make sure you're there for her. Rub her back, have cool washers for her face/neck etc. Massage her lower back. Try things, some help, some don't, she'll let you know which lol.

Are you doing ante-natal classes? We liked them and they definitely helped us. Some people say they're crap (and for some people, they may be! Everyone's different), but we got a lot out of them, and met some people we still talk to and the missus is going to have lunch with during the week etc.. (great for support as well, "is your baby doing this?" etc.).

Everything after is pretty much what you expect. Sleep-deprivation for a few weeks until you all get into a rhythm/find your cycles that work. Lots of poo, lots of wee, lots of milk vomits. Honestly though, it's no big deal. To get all cliche, you'll love your little one so much all the messy stuff doesn't seem to have any effect.

12 weeks and our girl is growing well, putting on good weight, sleeps straight through the night and is giving me the biggest smiles all the time now, I just melt.

Great times coming mate, 'grats again and don't over think it, just enjoy the ride.
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Dude, this is a great post, you seem like an awesome dad!
 
Congrats! There's some sound advice in here.

It's so worth it, and you'll be glad it happened, even if you're not sure you're ready for it.
 
Every one of my friends my age who has become a new parent tells me to get ready for shit to literally be sprayed all over you come diaper-changing time.

Them telling me that is the best birth control ever.
 
The Lamp said:
Every one of my friends my age who has become a new parent tells me to get ready for shit to literally be sprayed all over you come diaper-changing time.
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We haven't had that one, but have been vomited on numerous times by each of our kids. Messy poos have got nothing on vomit to the face.
 
First off, congrats. I'm a first time dad (11 month old) and it's been (easily) the best 11 months of my life.

Biggest tip: remember that the baby a) doesn't know any better and b) needs your attention. Put him or her first...always. Also, being completely honest, the first 2 months are sort of boring for the dad (especially if your wife is going to breast feed). Hang with it, it gets waaaaaaaay better!!
 
-Deadpool- said:
Congrats.

We've got a 12 week old girl. It's been the best thing ever.

Like you, we are in our early 30's, had our fun, were ready etc. You'll be fine. Get in there and give your missus lots of help at the start. I changed every nappy, did all the cleanups, pretty much everything besides the breastfeeding (lol) for the first couple weeks until I went back to work. Your missus will likely be anxious about breastfeeding (if you're choosing to do that) and she will appreciate not having other stuff to worry about early on.

The birth was a bit crazy; for me it was just the emotion of seeing my wife go through the pain and crying. Telling midwives "I can't do it, I can't do it, I've got no more", but then digging deep again every time for another push. I was just so proud. It was a rollercoaster of emotion. Again, just make sure you're there for her. Rub her back, have cool washers for her face/neck etc. Massage her lower back. Try things, some help, some don't, she'll let you know which lol.

Are you doing ante-natal classes? We liked them and they definitely helped us. Some people say they're crap (and for some people, they may be! Everyone's different), but we got a lot out of them, and met some people we still talk to and the missus is going to have lunch with during the week etc.. (great for support as well, "is your baby doing this?" etc.).

Everything after is pretty much what you expect. Sleep-deprivation for a few weeks until you all get into a rhythm/find your cycles that work. Lots of poo, lots of wee, lots of milk vomits. Honestly though, it's no big deal. To get all cliche, you'll love your little one so much all the messy stuff doesn't seem to have any effect.

12 weeks and our girl is growing well, putting on good weight, sleeps straight through the night and is giving me the biggest smiles all the time now, I just melt.

Great times coming mate, 'grats again and don't over think it, just enjoy the ride.
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Totally agree with this. My daughter is 13 weeks old so we're in the same boat!

Our birth was a bit crazy too. Everything was progressing normally. Wife and I got to the hospital after a couple false alarms. Midwives came. I was digging in for a long night of labour. I was anxious about my wife, who has a very low pain tolerance, but was sure that we would be able to get through it together. So at this point, the midwives hook up the monitoring equipment. Baby's heart rate is WAY too high. And then way too low. Doctors and nurses rush into the room. A "code pink!" is called. They rush my wife off to the operating room for an emergency c-section. I had to wait by myself for about 45 minutes, not knowing anything, and assuming the worse.

After 45 minutes, they bring out my daughter who's totally healthy and whining her 2 minute old lungs out :) She was tangled in her umbilical cord. Mom wakes up after about an hour. Really emotional.

Went from everything going normally, to believing that I lost my baby (and wife?), to having our healthy new little family together in the span of about 2 hours.

The lesson: plan and prepare as much as you can, but know that you might have to adapt (like in the movie Collateral!).
 
Congrats dude. You'll be surprised by how naturally things fall into place if you really wanted this to happen.

Every baby is different. Only my first born wanted me to hold her until she fell asleep(it felt like forever at the time). The other two boys were easy.

The only thing that stresses me the most is reminding myself to kick bad habits and foul language for them. It's amazing how much they want to mimic their parents.
 
styl3s said:
I'm not a father but in the 3 months of watching my grand niece 4-5 days a week i learned quickly to not only use that but also to wear the kind of clothes i would wear while painting. I just wear plain ass tees and my cheap khakis. Also, maybe it could be because i am just a overly nervous person but every time she falls asleep and seems like she isn't breathing i panic like a lunatic.
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Yeah, wearing clothes you don't care about while at home (or even out) is good practice.

I still do the breathing thing. Our youngest (a month old now) is taking synthetic thyroid hormone as her gland doesn't work, and getting it in her mixed with breast milk is tricky. You have to really be careful with the syringe or she'll accidentally breathe it in and start choking. I've done it several times now and it consistently freaks me out.
 
Some things to look forward to that most people don't mention until after you become a parent:

Get ready to smell like spit up for the first few months. Doesn't matter how well you clean up or how often you change your signature fragrance will be Eau d'Bebe.

Also, every now and then you'll experience the worst diaper change in history. I'm not talking about the kid peeing on you or anything. I'm talking about going to change the kid only to find the diaper leaked and now there's poop up the back of the kid's onesie. Now you have to remove the onesie without further smearing it on the changing table and keep it out of the kid's hair. Then when you finally get to the diaper the kid manages to grab a handful. Of course the kid will then want to put the poop-covered fingers in his/her mouth. You grab the hand just before it reaches the open mouth and while you're flailing for a wipe the kid will fling the poop at you. Now you and the kid are covered in shit and it's at this point you'll figure it's time to cut your losses and hit the bath tub. Big mistake. The kid is now screaming because the change is taking so long and you won't let him/her suck on poop-coated fingers so you're a little flustered and as you put the kid in the tub you accidentally turn the shower on instead of the bath and you didn't check the temperature and it's freezing. You're soaked, the kid is soaked, and there's water all over the bathroom. The kid is screaming even louder and you're both still covered in shit. You pick the kid up with a towel and try to warm him/her up. There's now poop on the towel but you'll deal with that later. The kid is now dry and warmer and maybe no longer screaming so you'll try your luck with the changing table again. Everything's going well and just as you get the diaper out and ready to go the kid will sneeze and it'll be like a shotgun blast out of the back end. A perfect cone of fire coating the drapes, the wall, and your arm in even more brown, foul mess. You'll want to explode but you finish the change, hand the kid off to your wife, and post this story on GAF.
 
Congratulations dude! My wife and I are due mid August and I can't wait either.

If your family are anything like mine, your house will soon be filled with loads of baby stuff. Also, everything for a baby seems to cost a minimum of £100.
 
Congrats OP (And the other dudes who are having babies)! My son turned 18 months old yesterday, I'm 32 now so I'm in pretty much the same boat. You'll be fine! Honestly there's not a whole lot to it. You'll learn how to change a diaper, stage changes (breast milk to formula, formula to solids, etc) will be initially stressful, but once you get to routine everything is easy.

Get all the sleep you can now. You will literally never sleep in again once this kid is born.

Just a quick word about anxiety - I was recently diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and in my discussions with other people who have suffered from it, it seems like having a lot of anxiety after having a child is pretty normal. You may or may not get it, but if you're feeling overwhelmed it's ok to talk to somebody!
 
Congratulations OP!

... feels weird to congratulate people when they had sex, right?


Anyway... prepare for all kinds of emotions the first year. You will laugh, cry, become mad, frustrated etc. All kinds of emotions will come your way. When the first weeks are over and he/she starts to grow, prepare yourself. Time will fly.

O... and you think YOU smell bad after you had some spicy food? You know nothing OP ;)
 
I was 38 when I had my first, 40 when I had my second. Congrats dude and don't worry, it's way easier than you think. All they do is sleep at first anyway. Your main job is to not let it die. Other than that, feed it... diaper it.... and let it sleep and you're done.

Be a big supporter of breastfeeding for your wife. You'll save thousands of dollars, your kid will eat the best food for him/her, and you get out of doing 90% of the work. My wife has breastfed both our kids and it's been a dream. No bottles, no getting up, no money, on a dad it's SUPER easy. Just make sure, you are supportive.

Also, don't read the internet. Everyone is a perfect parent and no one does anything wrong. Just trust your gut and if your kid cries for you... go to them. That's it, I'm on my second and it's not that hard as people make it out once you're an older parent IMO.
 
Congrats, my son was born about 14 months ago. Greatest moment in my life. Everyday since has been an incredible dream.

Because of several life factors, I became a dad pretty late at 40. I have no regrets. I look forward to every morning so that I can get a glimpse of him before I go to work. I look forward to every evening when I return home and he smiles at me and calls me daddy.

If I had no reason to leave my house, I could spend the whole day with him.

My advice is to learn as much as you can, but don't dwell on anything.

Start adjusting your body to wake up every three hours.

Oh, starting working on your dad bod.
 
I'm expecting a little girl in October 2nd. Can't wait but nervous at the same time.

I know my life will change a bit, less gaming and less time to do stuff i like but hey, i'm ready for the challenge and ready to be a dad !
 
CitizenCope said:
Baby year(s) are the easy breezy days in retrospect. You have a decade before things start getting difficult.
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The old cliche is that baby poop is gross. No... it's the toddler shit that makes you question your previous life choices. When they start shitting like a man is when you have to man up but baby poop? I'd change that all day long.
 
Poop! said:
The old cliche is that baby poop is gross. No... it's the toddler shit that makes you question your previous life choices. When they start shitting like a man is when you have to man up but baby poop? I'd change that all day long.
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Agreed, but my little guy has made some epic poops. Strange thing is that every time I change, I can't help but be impressed.
 
FonkyByNature said:
I'm expecting a little girl in October 2nd. Can't wait but nervous at the same time.

I know my life will change a bit, less gaming and less time to do stuff i like but hey, i'm ready for the challenge and ready to be a dad !
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A bit? Lol. Your life should change a lot, but that's a good thing. It means you're doing it right.
 
Poop! said:
The old cliche is that baby poop is gross. No... it's the toddler shit that makes you question your previous life choices. When they start shitting like a man is when you have to man up but baby poop? I'd change that all day long.
Click to expand...

Poop!

Junior Member

(Today, 09:24 AM)
 
Poop! said:
The old cliche is that baby poop is gross. No... it's the toddler shit that makes you question your previous life choices. When they start shitting like a man is when you have to man up but baby poop? I'd change that all day long.
Click to expand...

Agreed. Once you don't need to actually look in their diaper anymore to tell if they've pooped, things are worse.

Also, speaking of poop, has anybody ever invented a more efficient poop trap than a scrotum?
 
Varna said:
First month will be awful.

Second will almost make it seem like things won't be so bad since all he will do is eat an sleep.

Third month will begin to decimate your free time since he is starting to notice things and you should be interacting as much as possible.

If you happen to get him or her into a decent sleep cycle at this point, forget about it in month four. For some reason babies seem to forget about it at this point.

Fifth and up there will probably be signs of teething, he will begin to roll over, and gain mobility, not to mention start babbling and just experimenting with voice which might freak you out (my guy like to make this gasping for breath sound and love the attention he got for it).
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Pretty much this for me. My kid is coming up on five months now.
 
Don't forget to check auction sites for all your baby stuff.
Strollers, beds, changing tables, baby baths, car seats, all sorts of toys.. Your bill will run up very quickly if you buy everything new and you can save many hundreds of $ buying perfectly good 2nd hand stuff.

For instance, me and the wife snapped up the amazing Urban Jungle Mountain Buggy with carrycot for just 300 $ from a couple who sold theirs in excellent condition. If you'd buy it new in the store it would have costed over 1000 $.
 
Congrats OP!

Jive Turkey said:
Some things to look forward to that most people don't mention until after you become a parent:

Get ready to smell like spit up for the first few months. Doesn't matter how well you clean up or how often you change your signature fragrance will be Eau d'Bebe.

Also, every now and then you'll experience the worst diaper change in history. I'm not talking about the kid peeing on you or anything. I'm talking about going to change the kid only to find the diaper leaked and now there's poop up the back of the kid's onesie. Now you have to remove the onesie without further smearing it on the changing table and keep it out of the kid's hair. Then when you finally get to the diaper the kid manages to grab a handful. Of course the kid will then want to put the poop-covered fingers in his/her mouth. You grab the hand just before it reaches the open mouth and while you're flailing for a wipe the kid will fling the poop at you. Now you and the kid are covered in shit and it's at this point you'll figure it's time to cut your losses and hit the bath tub. Big mistake. The kid is now screaming because the change is taking so long and you won't let him/her suck on poop-coated fingers so you're a little flustered and as you put the kid in the tub you accidentally turn the shower on instead of the bath and you didn't check the temperature and it's freezing. You're soaked, the kid is soaked, and there's water all over the bathroom. The kid is screaming even louder and you're both still covered in shit. You pick the kid up with a towel and try to warm him/her up. There's now poop on the towel but you'll deal with that later. The kid is now dry and warmer and maybe no longer screaming so you'll try your luck with the changing table again. Everything's going well and just as you get the diaper out and ready to go the kid will sneeze and it'll be like a shotgun blast out of the back end. A perfect cone of fire coating the drapes, the wall, and your arm in even more brown, foul mess. You'll want to explode but you finish the change, hand the kid off to your wife, and post this story on GAF.
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If the onesie is covered in shit, don't pull it over the kids head but take it off downwards (that's what those folds are for by their shoulders). It's better to have a little shit on their feet then in their hair.
 
Look into baby wearing instead of a stroller. We have an ErgoBaby carrier and it's been a life saver. I carry my infant in the front and can carry my toddler like a backpack. They think it's a blast and I am totally hands free. My infant sleeps in it while I'm playing video games. He thinks he's being held so he sleeps more soundly.

Also, in crowded situations like the zoo or something like that strollers are a pain in the ass. With carriers, they are in and out of them in seconds and you are hands free.
 
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