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[Yrael]

Question...who here has had experience coming off of Cymbalta? I'm weaning myself off the medication now, but starting to get odd vertigo-like symptoms, "swishy" and buzzy feelings in the brain, and a constant urge to break down in tears (I was originally on 60mg - I went down to 30mg for about two weeks, and am currently taking a 30mg tablet every other day. I plan to do this for another two weeks, then stop altogether).

 

[DiddysKongQuest]

My 18 yr old knows everything, why I'm going and what I did.

If he already knows everything and you think he's mature enough, I think it might be better for you and him if you allow him to visit you. But again, I do also understand if you don't want any of your children to see you like that.

I hope you're able to learn from the experience, DKQ, and I hope you can soon move on to someone who's better for you. From what I've read she / the relationship sounds no good at this point.

I'm currently not able to learn from the experience and that's the problem with me. I felt free during the last weeks without contact. I spontaneously went Hamburg for a weekend just to see one of my favourite artists live. I was really proud of that and it's definitely something no one expected from me.

My brother was in good contact with her before he went to prison. Yesterday they talked on the phone about the situation and she said that she wants to see me this friday (2 year anniversary of our first date), but is afraid of asking. So yeah, I wrote her a long message about monday and we'll see each other again this friday. Chances are high that it will end like monday with the outcome of me feeling like shit on saturday.

But that date is way too important to us and will forever be one of the best days in our lives, no matter what will happen in the future. I wasn't there last year because of my Au-pair time in Ireland and I still feel bad about it.

Anyway, I know I'm about to do something wrong (again!), but she still has way too much power over me.

 

[bigmit3737]

Question...who here has had experience coming off of Cymbalta? I'm weaning myself off the medication now, but starting to get odd vertigo-like symptoms, "swishy" and buzzy feelings in the brain, and a constant urge to break down in tears (I was originally on 60mg - I went down to 30mg for about two weeks, and am currently taking a 30mg tablet every other day. I plan to do this for another two weeks, then stop altogether).

A lot of those symptoms seem normal.
I would google it as see if there is anything you can take to help with the withdrawl process .
I think SSRi down results serotogonic receptors so there are some supplements you can take to upregulate them and get them back to functioning prior to being medicated.
If you don't want to take anything , just wait.
The receptors will functioning normally again usually after some time . Sometimes few month are needed.

 

[ceramic]

I've learned overthinking things is generally no good, ceramic, though it's a hard habit to break. What's gotten you down recently? Was going to the gym a rewarding experience at all?

Going to the gym hasn't been a rewarding experience because I never seem to get anywhere. This is mainly because I get injured when I try to lift heavier and only feel the right muscles working when I lift very light. I think this is because I have very poor flexibility currently and poor posture, which is why I've decided to take up yoga.

I went to a yoga class this evening and it didn't go so well... on the positive side I actually went to this class without needing to motivate myself, so that's something. I also got on well with the two other men in the class, so that's also great. Plus, I struck up a short conversation with somebody who was also waiting for the class outside, so that's at least a sign that I'm progressing, albeit slowly...

...but I noticed that half way through the class the instructor started acting weird towards me. This started to happen when she was instructing me in a group activity and then again when I paired with the instructor for another group activity. It's hard to explain what was off about her, but I would say it's a combination of the way she looked at me (a kind of disgusted look), and the attempts at reassurance. I kept wondering what had triggered this and it hit me as I was in the changing room at the end:

1. When I was doing the group activity with the other two men, the instructor said I was doing well for my first class. My response was, 'Am I?'. I think this came across as very low confidence. She then said that I was doing well because I was having to take in all the instructions she was giving when I had never been to the class before. She seemed slightly puzzled that she had to explain this. What I should have said was something along the lines of explaining that I had taken yoga classes for a short while in the past at another gym, so I wasn't completely new at it.

2. When I was washing my hands in the mirror at the end of the session, I smiled at myself in the mirror. I noticed that I looked really upset, and this was magnified when I tried to smile. I think this plus my response above made me come across as incredibly nervous, and this is what triggered the reaction in her.


So the lesson I learned today was to speak more confidently. Also, perhaps don't smile when I don't feel like smiling, as it just seems to make me look very nervous and teary.

I'm beginning to think that the reason I come across as nervous is because I have no stable self-image when I'm out in public. I don't know how I want to present myself or what skills/qualities I want to project. I don't know who I want to be. As soon as I adapt to one frame of mind, all I can see are the negative elements of that state of mind and start changing to another one. This process just continues and continues. I think I just need to keep trying different ways of personal expression/ personality until I find one that naturally fits. I think this is a process most people go through during their teenage years, but because I was so anxious and closed-off back then I am only dealing with it myself now.

I just really need to stop feeling close to tears all the time, it's incredibly annoying and limiting my growth. I think I just need to keep reinforcing a positive self-image.

Writing all this out is really helping me to see things clearly, so I'll continue doing that for now. I just really need to keep having these experiences as it's the only way I will grow. I also need to keep trying new things, and remember to reinforce positive thoughts.

 

[The One Who Knocks]

Over the last number of weeks things have been very stressful, and a number of people became increasingly concerned about my behaviour, and mental health. I confessed to a close friend that I thought I was seeing things (things scurry in the corner of my eye, saw wasps when they weren't there, and have been unsure at times if what I'm seeing is real), hearing things (alarms go off in the distance, hearing my internal monologue go off on a tangent and thinking of extremely distressing things such as to hurt myself or others or repeating very distressful information), have been quite suspicious of people (just that people are innocently talking about me, nothing extreme), and have been breaking down into tears at random times. I thought I was fine, and stressed, and it was grand. Yesterday the source of the stress had been resolved and I thought everything was fine, until I got together with a few friends and had been drinking a bit (I had consumed a bottle of wine over a three hour period, so nothing too drastic).

I was woken up by a paramedic in my room, who had been called because my friend was concerned that I was at a very serious risk of suicide or harming somebody else. I was brought into the Emergency Room where I was continuously asked questions related to paranoid schizophrenia, and whether or not there was a history of paranoid schizophrenia in my family, and met with psychologists and counsellors, and not feeling that I was at either, and extremely annoyed that they were called, to be honest, I rather callously manipulated and lied to every single person who saw me until they let me go and were confident I was alright (mainly, that concerns were exaggerated, things which were said were not, that everything had been going fine, that my friends' accusations were not entirely true and deflected them towards something else, and I was just stressed [which was slightly true, I had been very stressed but I was also extremely upset and I knew something was very wrong]), but due to my friends' concern I will forcibly be seen as an out-patient at a mental health facility. Needless to say, my closest friends were not only annoyed, and upset, but saw a side of me that not only did they never knew existed, but I never knew existed, and has pretty much destroyed any degree of trust either they or I could have in me.

After returning home with them, and expressing my apologies for lying to the doctors and acknowledging that my angered reaction to the ambulance being called was both immature and a 'slap in the face' to the concern they had for me, it was revealed as to why it had been called. It turns out I went on an extreme, completely incoherent rant and said extremely offensive and abusive things towards the person I care about and trust most in the world (and who cared about me so much), expressed an extreme threat of physical violence towards somebody else, and implied severe and extreme suicidal suggestions (neither of those are something I actually feel, but obviously at the time it was). My speech pattern had been fine before, and fine after, but they said the rant itself was completely disjointed, incoherent, and without any sort of rational thought. I have absolutely no memory of it ever occurring, and it definitely was not due to drunkenness (because I hadn't drank that much, and was ).

After hearing what happened, I've agreed that for my friends' sake that I'm going to have to break contact with them for awhile (for their own safety and wellbeing), and have them accompany me to the appointment with the psychologist I have on Wednesday. To be honest, I'm pretty much terrified at the thought of going in.

I don't think I've really been experiencing 'hallucinations' at all or anything too out of the ordinary and what's more while I know my friend strongly believes it's schizophrenia, I just feel like what I've experienced so far doesn't seem to be how I've always seen it portrayed in the media, and what I've read about it, but I know that as soon as I go to the psychologist, and my friends tell them how I manipulated every single health worker in the hospital that saw me to let me go, the entirety of what had happened in the rant, and my general mood that there is very little chance that I won't be forcibly admitted into a mental health facility for a short time period at the very least which would be the worst possible thing for me at the moment (college is otherwise going well, my parents know nothing about what's ongoing and should continue to know nothing, what caused me much stress was resolved before the incident last night, etc.). I'm even more concerned that it'll pretty much completely destroy any possibility I have that I'll be able to live independently or develop a relationship with this ongoing, and that it will absolutely destroy any potential for a future career. I feel pretty much completely alone at the moment; for my friends' sake I can't burden them again and they've already expressed that they don't think they can trust me anymore and they need to distance themselves for their own sake (which I completely agree with), and I'm just really scared.

I'm sorry, I just really needed to get this off my chest, and I really just need some sort of advice here because I'm really scared, really confused, and I'm really upset about it.

Has anybody ever been in any kind of similar situation at all? Does this sound like the development of schizophrenia (obviously nobody knows me in person, and nobody is qualified, I just want to know if it sounds similar to anything you've experienced of somebody developing it)? Can anybody offer any sort of guidance? Is it even possible to move on from something like this, if it even is schizophrenia at all? What will happen if I go into the psychiatrist meeting on Wednesday and confess pretty much everything?

(Also, I would just like to clarify, I am absolutely one hundred percent not at a risk of harming myself, or others)

TLDR version; friend thinks I'm developing schizophrenia, and I confessed a few things to her which make her feel this way. I've been stressed in college for awhile with something related to student societies, and I thought it was just due to this. Last night, I apparently went on an incoherent, extremely cruel rant with many suicidal remarks and threats towards others (which I would absolutely never make, on any part) which I have no memory of, and I was admitted to the Emergency Room as an immediate suicide risk and got discharged. I've an appointment with a psychologist Wednesday where I'm planning on telling everything because my friends are so concerned, and I'm really scared about everything and don't know what will happen, if it's even a reasonable concern, and I'm hoping I could get some perspective on the situation. Also I am absolutely not at risk of self-harm or harming another.

So I made a thread awhile ago (above) about a meltdown which occured, and certain events which led my friends towards thinking that I had schizophrenia, and during the thread I was advised to check out this thread. Rather than bump that thread, I thought I'd post an update on what happened.

The appointment for the psychiatrist which was meant to be last Wednesday (in Week 4) ended up last Monday (in Week 5) instead. On the Tuesday (in Week 4) I had a meeting with the Student Counselling Service (and had one again this week). They were alright, but I don't really feel like it's been hugely beneficial, even if it did get me thinking about the nature of one of my most cherished friendships (unfortunately, it's led me to a greater degree of skepticism over whether it's actually a positive thing for either of us).

More importantly though, the mandatory meeting with the psychiatrist last Monday went far better than I could have hoped. I opened up about pretty much everything (the individual who suggested printing off the post and handing it to her made a very wise suggestion, so thanks very much for that). What followed was possibly the most nerve-wrecking two hour (approximately) conversation I've ever had. She asked about the incident itself, and a bit about what preceeded it, but very quickly moved on from there and began to focus with a much more substantial interest on my childhood to a very great deal, in particular an event which occured when I was about eleven, a prior experience with a counsellor when I was fourteen (which eventually led to a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome), early memories, and my realisation that I was gay. She finally concluded b asking me about my earliest memories, before wrapping it up with a feeling that the stressful situation I was under (heightened by Asperger's Syndrome, which evolved into a sensation of paranoia, an internal thought that ruminated on extremely painful topics and jumped to extremes, concluding in a most dramatic 'autistic meltdown' further driven by alcohol and a lack of sleep) was the primary cause, and that (very thankfully) she doesn't feel there's anything else going on, certainly not paranoid schizophrenia (due to the general lucidity of what I was feeling/experiencing), and that it's her view that there's no need to continue with psychiatry, even if she feels it would be beneficial to continue going with the Student Counselling Service. She talked a great deal about how going to an ASPIRE (Asperger's Syndrome support group or something) workshop could be beneficial, as I 'accepted' that I'm gay but never really 'accepted' that I had Asperger's Syndrome, but I declined it as I'm pretty indifferent.

So all in all, the meeting with the psychiatrist was a major relief, and has left me in a really optimistic, and positive place. I just thought an update was probably needed, so that's basically what happened.

 

[Hylian7]

This is sort of related to this thread, but I've got a problem. My therapist recommended a therapist that specializes in ADHD, however they don't take insurance but give you the forms to file it yourself. It's also expensive, running $325 for the first session and $150 after that. You have to pay up front and file for the reimbursement later. On my insurance the max allowable is something like $120, and it's likely I would have to pay something like $75 for the first session and ~$25 for the subsequent ones. I'm unemployed, still on my parents' insurance. I'm off it at the end of the year because I am 25. I'm not sure if I should look around to find a different ADHD therapist or just do this one and hope I can get somewhere in less than two months.

Fuck insurance.

 

[tearsofash]

I wish I had a magic solution, tearsofash, but I really, truly don't. Have you found anything that helps the time pass more bearably so we can make sure you make it to your follow up appointment?

All I can really do is wait, and cross my fingers that I don't off myself in the process! Each day things are getting worse.

 

[demon]

So, haven't posted here in a while. I've posted occasionally about my long time battle with depression, anxiety, lack of social life, being stuck in a horrible call center job from hell, and agonizing regret over having wasted college both academically and socially (despite getting a bullshit degree). Around a year ago started therapy (which has petered off and I'm probably not going back to that therapist) and taking zoloft. Maybe some are familiar, whatever.

Well a little over a month ago I finally left my job, have taken time off since then, and I'll probably be starting a new temp non-call-center job some time next week. Not really excited about it but money is money. But...

I applied to go back to school starting next semester. It's for an Electrical Engineering Technology associate's degree at MATC here in Madison with the option of transferring to somewhere else for a full bachelor's. Haven't been accepted yet but I doubt I'll be turned down. I'm hoping it works out, because I've been yearning to go back to school and get back into the college environment and learn something that I'm actually self-motivated to learn, and I'll have the chance to maybe do something that I've fantasized about for years and thought I'd never be able to do- make up for not having had any social life in college the first time around. I know it won't be the same as being 18 and living in dorms and shit like that, but maybe I'll actually make friends and date this time. I just turned 34 so I'm kinda getting up there but I'm a pretty good looking guy and have kept myself fit and fairly young-ish looking since college ended (I got a bit tubby in college) so that should at least be a boost to my confidence.

I'm pretty damn excited for the potential this experience holds. It's almost like a dream come true- going back to school and being surrounded by tens of thousands of people (I almost typed kids) in their 20s on a daily basis, taking classes and working towards a degree I selected out of interest instead of being motivated by "well I gotta major in something I suppose". I just hope I have my shit together enough this time around and can make the best of it. i hope it's the life-changing experience I've been needing for almost the last half my life or so.

 

[A Human Becoming]

In less than a week I'll be visiting a college friend for two weeks. She asked me a couple weeks ago if I had ever shot a gun, which I have not, and if I would like to since her dad owns a bunch. The thought crossed my mind tonight of using the gun to kill myself. Should I tell her I would rather not do that? I actually would like to try shooting a gun, but the temptation might come...

This is sort of related to this thread, but I've got a problem. My therapist recommended a therapist that specializes in ADHD, however they don't take insurance but give you the forms to file it yourself. It's also expensive, running $325 for the first session and $150 after that. You have to pay up front and file for the reimbursement later. On my insurance the max allowable is something like $120, and it's likely I would have to pay something like $75 for the first session and ~$25 for the subsequent ones. I'm unemployed, still on my parents' insurance. I'm off it at the end of the year because I am 25. I'm not sure if I should look around to find a different ADHD therapist or just do this one and hope I can get somewhere in less than two months.

Fuck insurance.

Fuck insurance indeed. You can try to extend the time on your parent's insurance: mine was for an additional year. I don't know if I can get it another year though...

 

[DiddysKongQuest]

Hit rock bottom again. Even more so than Tuesday morning.

For the 2 year anniversary of our first date my ex and I first made food together and had fun with that. Afterwards we played some Mario Kart 8 and watched TV. All was good in a friendship kind of way.

Then she made some random remark about how she is horny. So I came closer to her and one thing obviously led to another. Sex was as intense as on Monday til she realized in the middle of it that she has a boyfriend. She stopped me from continuing and said straight to my face that she's only using me for Sex. Yet somehow we continued a minute later.

She left 5 minutes after we were done. Hopefully this time for good.

I hope that I'm finally done with this fucking shit. It's been a problem for way too long now.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

I used to think his shtick as an angry British Man pointing out obvious things in America, but I actually came to love his show. Much like one of my most beloved podcast Harry Shearrer's ( yes, The Simpsons voice actor} Le Show, he can bring out stuff that is not mentioned in most media outlets.


Mental Health(HBO) - Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

Perfect example of the absolute misinformation or ignorance that goes on in the public at large regarding mental illness.

It only comes to the media's and the rest of the population, as a means to tragic event.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

Ah, awesome.
Thanks bugs.

 

[mumbles365]

So I had my last day of work today. As much as I hated it at times, I was quite sad to leave, but I think its for the best.

My health comes first I suppose. So finally got an appointment and tomorow I will be meeting with a psychologist for the first time in my life lol. Will be an interesting experience and hopefully I can find the motivation to get out of this hole and go back to my old self again, get back in the gym and get back all the gains I lost.

I'm only afraid that I may regret my decision leaving work, but I do have money saved up so its ok... It's just the opinions of people/family that I'm worried about because I'll be unemployed again.

 

[CheesecakeRecipe]

Twitter informs me that today is/was Mental Heath Day, so, uh, go team!

 

[Mr.Mike]

So I finally asked my family doctor to refer me to a psychiatrist about my suspected ADHD. He told me that they'll arrange and appointment and send me something in the mail. I still haven't received anything, but apparently I'm looking at a couple of months until I actually see him.

Which is a shame, because I feel like I've been having a lot of trouble this semester since my classes are all so boring to me. I've always had trouble focusing, taking way too long to do things, and a lack of interest just makes it so much worse. I definitely feel like the "difficulty" of a course is utterly irrelevant to how well I do in it, with my interest being a much stronger predictor. I do somehow manage to do well in school but it definitely takes me WAY longer then it probably should to get things done.

This is something I've also noticed with work (as a Teaching Assistant for Computer Science) that it takes me longer to get things done then it should. Just now I had to mark assignments, and I was constantly getting distracted (it's a tough situation, since I'm working on a computer when I do this, and there's plenty of distractions to be had there). But also when marking tests (so in a room with the other TAs and like no distractions) my mind would be wandering, which is a really bad thing to be experiencing while trying to mentally execute a program. It's definitely something I would really like to deal with before getting a full time position doing heavy mental work. (On the other hand, I had a basic labour job over the summer, and it wasn't so bad. My ADHD (allegedly I suppose) might actually have a boon there since I could totally let my mind wander while still putting things in the right boxes and putting together packages and such.)

Anyway, I have a "reading week" this week, so I'll have plenty of time to study for the multitude of midterms I'll be having the next week. Also I'll have plenty of time to try things out to see if they can maybe help me focus. I'm curious if anyone has any techniques or tricks that have helped them focus with ADHD?

PS. Funnily enough, I have a post here from almost exactly a year ago complaining about this very same issue. Except that my previous post was at the end of the reading week. Hopefully this year I'll do a better job with the whole "studying over reading week" thing. I'm definitely feeling like I should have taken these steps a long time ago. Maybe one day I'll be able to write a NeoGaf post in one sitting

 

[Megalosaro]

After reading some articles, I think I may be anorexic.


I have extreme anxiety about eatting. Weekends are the worst because my friends want to hang out, which means eatting out. I lost about 125 lbs but I did so in the worst way possible. I would eat about 250-350 calories a day and them binging on saturdays.

I hit my goal about 4 months ago, and starting upping my caloric intake but I started gaining weight again. I retain fluids like a mother fucker. After gaining about 17 lbs in two days around my birthday, I started cutting again. Not as extreme. Maybe 1000 or so calories a day.

I want to live a normal life and enjoy food. But I'm worried about regaining. I think a lot of my feelings of depression lately have stemmed from what I've been going through.

No one has suspected anything because I have taken to pretending I'm eatting when I'm offered food. I'll discreetly throw it away. Plus no one really suspects a adult male of an eatting disorder especially since I'm not like bone thin.

I have insurence and want to see a psychologist but I don't know how to use it.

 

[rrvv]

quite tired being forced to be leader in the group.

feel like nobody i can really trust to be the leadet

 

[uncelestial]

Just went too far drinking at a wedding and woke up feeling awful and embarrassed. I haven't had anxiety in weeks but now I'm wracked with it. I think the combo of physical discomfort and reliving embarrassing shit is doing me in a bit. Panic attacks suck.

 

[N° 2048]

I used to think his shtick as an angry British Man pointing out obvious things in America, but I actually came to love his show. Much like one of my most beloved podcast Harry Shearrer's ( yes, The Simpsons voice actor} Le Show, he can bring out stuff that is not mentioned in most media outlets.


Mental Health(HBO) - Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

Perfect example of the absolute misinformation or ignorance that goes on in the public at large regarding mental illness.

It only comes to the media's and the rest of the population, as a means to tragic event.

thanks hadn't caught that

seems to cut out early??

longer version here (a few minutes)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGY6DqB1HX8

All I can do is *sigh*

I love John Oliver!

 

[Piano]

I got an email from the registrar's office earlier today saying that I've been put on academic probation, meaning that my GPA is under 2.0. I checked my GPA online and it's well over 2.0, but that still hasn't stopped me from having a panic attack over it. I need to talk to my advisor. I really didn't need this stacked onto my list problems.

That sounds stressful, zeemumu. Administrative errors are unfortunately an inevitability from time to time. Were you able to get it resolved?

Avoiding my feelings is what caused the mental snap, you're on point with that. I was always a "hold-it-in-so-no-notices" guy and well...i made a commitment to not be that anymore. As for default states, yeah, I guess you're right, but i was in that anxious/distorted frame of mind when i wrote that previously. My anxiety can be arrogant in it's assertions.

I hope that commitment can bring you to a more even relationship with your emotions, FitG. I find that I tend to feel better, overall, the more I can let my feelings just flow through me with interference, even if that means some tough moments where I'd rather not have them. Of course, it's still an ideal that I'm striving for - definitely not there yet.

Question...who here has had experience coming off of Cymbalta? I'm weaning myself off the medication now, but starting to get odd vertigo-like symptoms, "swishy" and buzzy feelings in the brain, and a constant urge to break down in tears (I was originally on 60mg - I went down to 30mg for about two weeks, and am currently taking a 30mg tablet every other day. I plan to do this for another two weeks, then stop altogether).

I weaned off of Cymbalta some years ago. The strange feelings in your brain are likely withdrawal effects that will subside, but any crying or sadness could be a return of symptoms if you were taking it for mood management. Best of luck getting through the strange brain sensations. I hope whatever changes you make you do so under the guidance of a medical professional.

Writing all this out is really helping me to see things clearly, so I'll continue doing that for now. I just really need to keep having these experiences as it's the only way I will grow. I also need to keep trying new things, and remember to reinforce positive thoughts.

What really strikes me, ceramic, is just how thoroughly you've thought through your entire experience at the yoga class and how deeply you've analyzed it. I think any experience or attribute we investigate that closely will show disappointments and imperfections, sort of like how if you get a magnification mirror you'll notice all kinds of problems with your face and skin and nose and eyes that you've just never seen before. Do you think through every experience that exhaustively? Or just interactions with other people? Either way it sounds exhausting!

I'm glad letting it out has given you more clarity, and it really sounds like you're at least keeping an even perspective on things that are happening rather than just indicting yourself for everything that wasn't absolutely perfect (that generally works out to be most things). From what you described of the yoga class it really doesn't sound like you did anything wrong - people can just be cold or "touchy" now and then.

So all in all, the meeting with the psychiatrist was a major relief, and has left me in a really optimistic, and positive place. I just thought an update was probably needed, so that's basically what happened.

I'm so glad to hear that, TOWK. I hope your continuing treatment goes smoothly

This is sort of related to this thread, but I've got a problem. My therapist recommended a therapist that specializes in ADHD, however they don't take insurance but give you the forms to file it yourself. It's also expensive, running $325 for the first session and $150 after that. You have to pay up front and file for the reimbursement later. On my insurance the max allowable is something like $120, and it's likely I would have to pay something like $75 for the first session and ~$25 for the subsequent ones. I'm unemployed, still on my parents' insurance. I'm off it at the end of the year because I am 25. I'm not sure if I should look around to find a different ADHD therapist or just do this one and hope I can get somewhere in less than two months.

Fuck insurance.

There's not right answer here, it all depends on how much you like him / her or how well he / she works for you. If it goes really well they might really be worth the money, or they may not, and it's always a bit of a guessing game until you can go in and judge yourself.

Insurance can definitely be frustrating. Especially for mental health.

All I can really do is wait, and cross my fingers that I don't off myself in the process! Each day things are getting worse.

Please, please don't hurt yourself, tearsofash. I hope if you are tempted to do so you reach out to available emergency resources.

I'm pretty damn excited for the potential this experience holds. It's almost like a dream come true- going back to school and being surrounded by tens of thousands of people (I almost typed kids) in their 20s on a daily basis, taking classes and working towards a degree I selected out of interest instead of being motivated by "well I gotta major in something I suppose". I just hope I have my shit together enough this time around and can make the best of it. i hope it's the life-changing experience I've been needing for almost the last half my life or so.

That sounds....AWESOME! I'm so glad to hear it, demon!
Going back to school can be an adjustment (both academically and socially) but the payoff is immense.

In less than a week I'll be visiting a college friend for two weeks. She asked me a couple weeks ago if I had ever shot a gun, which I have not, and if I would like to since her dad owns a bunch. The thought crossed my mind tonight of using the gun to kill myself. Should I tell her I would rather not do that? I actually would like to try shooting a gun, but the temptation might come...

I would tell her, yes. Guns aren't going anywhere; you can go out shooting pretty much any time in the future when you're feeling more secure around guns.

She left 5 minutes after we were done. Hopefully this time for good.

I hope that I'm finally done with this fucking shit. It's been a problem for way too long now.

Sounds like it's time to cut off communication, DKQ. It sounds toxic at this point.
Sorry it's been such a rollercoaster. Hopefully you can keep an open mind to how much there is to be learned in these sorts of relationship circumstances.

So I had my last day of work today. As much as I hated it at times, I was quite sad to leave, but I think its for the best.

My health comes first I suppose. So finally got an appointment and tomorow I will be meeting with a psychologist for the first time in my life lol. Will be an interesting experience and hopefully I can find the motivation to get out of this hole and go back to my old self again, get back in the gym and get back all the gains I lost.

I'm only afraid that I may regret my decision leaving work, but I do have money saved up so its ok... It's just the opinions of people/family that I'm worried about because I'll be unemployed again.

I hope you're able to keep out and active and motivated even without work, mumbles; a mistake I made was withdrawing from life and telling myself I'd get back into things once I was better or "fixed", not realizing that the sense of purpose and progress and motivation that activities give you was a vital part of my recovery, and that there will never be a day when I'm just fixed, forever, no more sadness.

How was the appointment with the psychologist? I hope it went well!

Twitter informs me that today is/was Mental Heath Day, so, uh, go team!

You've enlightened me to forum trickery I did not know existed.

Anyway, I have a "reading week" this week, so I'll have plenty of time to study for the multitude of midterms I'll be having the next week. Also I'll have plenty of time to try things out to see if they can maybe help me focus. I'm curious if anyone has any techniques or tricks that have helped them focus with ADHD?

PS. Funnily enough, I have a post here from almost exactly a year ago complaining about this very same issue. Except that my previous post was at the end of the reading week. Hopefully this year I'll do a better job with the whole "studying over reading week" thing. I'm definitely feeling like I should have taken these steps a long time ago. Maybe one day I'll be able to write a NeoGaf post in one sitting

I have never experience ADHD, Mr.Mike, so I can't speak from that specific experience, but I can say that, at the very least, eliminating the distractions you're able to eliminate can be really helpful. Like, I've started leaving my phone on silent, out of arms reach when I'm trying to get things done, otherwise I find excuses to check it or I hear it beep or whatever. Same with my computer. If I do homework at my computer desk, I turn my computer off. Otherwise I end up on GAF or whatever instead of what I'm supposed to be doing.

I know that's not ADHD, though. Hopefully someone else with more perspective can chime in.

Also, if you don't receive something in the mail soon maybe you could call to make sure it's on its way?

After reading some articles, I think I may be anorexic.


I have extreme anxiety about eatting. Weekends are the worst because my friends want to hang out, which means eatting out. I lost about 125 lbs but I did so in the worst way possible. I would eat about 250-350 calories a day and them binging on saturdays.

I hit my goal about 4 months ago, and starting upping my caloric intake but I started gaining weight again. I retain fluids like a mother fucker. After gaining about 17 lbs in two days around my birthday, I started cutting again. Not as extreme. Maybe 1000 or so calories a day.

I want to live a normal life and enjoy food. But I'm worried about regaining. I think a lot of my feelings of depression lately have stemmed from what I've been going through.

No one has suspected anything because I have taken to pretending I'm eatting when I'm offered food. I'll discreetly throw it away. Plus no one really suspects a adult male of an eatting disorder especially since I'm not like bone thin.

I have insurence and want to see a psychologist but I don't know how to use it.

First of all, Megalosaro, a lot of us can seem like we have a lot of things if we just go by articles and descriptions online. I was convinced I had meningitis once (thank god I didn't).

That being said, it does sound like you're having some trouble in your relationship with food and it very well could be anorexia or a similar disorder. You're right that finding a psychologist is probably your best bet. As far as finding one that's covered by insurance, you should be able to check on your insurer's website or call them to get a list of all of the covered mental health providers in your area. Likely you'll be looking for a therapist, not a psychiatrist. From there you can start calling around and seeing who has openings. If one therapist doesn't have openings, they can usually refer you to someone that does. Also, if you describe your problems they may be able to give you a better idea of who in the area works with those sorts of issues.

Let me know if you have any more questions!

quite tired being forced to be leader in the group.

feel like nobody i can really trust to be the leadet

What's going on, rrw?

Just went too far drinking at a wedding and woke up feeling awful and embarrassed. I haven't had anxiety in weeks but now I'm wracked with it. I think the combo of physical discomfort and reliving embarrassing shit is doing me in a bit. Panic attacks suck.

Starting in my early 20s, hangover = anxiety, 100% of the time. It finally led me to quit drinking altogether, it was so bad. So I hope the anxiety will pass as you recover from the alcohol, uncelestial.

<3

 

[zeemumu]

That sounds stressful, zeemumu. Administrative errors are unfortunately an inevitability from time to time. Were you able to get it resolved?

For the most part. It turns out that the email wasn't meant for me and the automatic email service screwed up. I took all of my GE's first so I don't have a lot of core classes done, and I failed one core class that I'm retaking this quarter (and apparently my last professor was insane because the projects in this class are far more doable for someone on my level) so since the core GPA only counts my core classes and one of them was failed and is being retaken, my GPA is obviously gonna be in flux until I have more classes to even things out. Basically I just have to get through my class this quarter and the core GPA will be back up. The service was only meant to send that email to people whose college or cumulative GPA's were under but it sent it to me because of my core. So the advisor basically told me not to sweat it and I thanked him and left.

I have come across something else, though. I don't like a lot of the people in my major. I feel like everyone could be divided into two categories: the laid back dudes who don't know everything but are still learning and ask questions when they need to, who are okay, and the people who meet every question with a condescending answer. And on top of that, it's not a very social major. I find it pretty difficult to talk to people inside my major about non-technical stuff, and I definitely can't talk to anyone outside of my major about anything inside of my major because it's boring to talk about. No one wants to hear about how you coded a sliding puzzle tile game. So I rarely have anything to talk about because I'm split between the two and don't truly belong to any group.

 

[Piano]

Y'all ever have one of those nights where you're just hit by the sads?
I can't even figure out why I'm so sad.
Oh well. It's kinda poetic when I just let it wash over me and don't fight it any more. Fighting it made me anxious. Now I'm just sorta at peace in my little pit of sadness.

It all started with being sad that I had a really good time hanging out with friends last night and forgot to take a picture with them. Now that moment is just gone forever.

Then it spiraled.

<3

 

[Fall Into The GAF]

Y'all ever have one of those nights where you're just hit by the sads?
I can't even figure out why I'm so sad.
Oh well. It's kinda poetic when I just let it wash over me and don't fight it any more. Fighting it made me anxious. Now I'm just sorta at peace in my little pit of sadness.

It all started with being sad that I had a really good time hanging out with friends last night and forgot to take a picture with them. Now that moment is just gone forever.

Then it spiraled.

<3

I'm having it in waves. I'll have the initial pang of anxiety followed by the post-anxiety depression. Again, it's the thoughts of my future, regrets, if i'll ever be genuinely happy. I mean, I do have the fleeting moments of elation, but they've only been last a day, two at most. Then i start questioning if my happiness is real or not. Negative feedback loops and the like.

 

[Tapejara]

Hi GAF, I used to post infrequently in this thread, but then I kind of stopped following it. Anyhow, I've been in kind of a messed up place lately and this felt like the best place to talk about it.

So back in September it was my birthday, and since then I've been quite depressed, as well as having my anxiety spike more in the past three weeks than it has in two years. My birthday started being problematic for me a few years ago, as I associate it with the return of my panic attacks, and how long I've been absent from school. I started university in 2011, and was only able to complete my first year before my panic attacks returned. Now it's 2015, I'm 22, everyone's graduated and I'm still spending my days stuck in my house with such little motivation that I can't even finish a video game or watching a TV series. It's been a rough three years (panic attacks started up again in 2012), I've seen my friends all get to do the things you're supposed to in your early twenties, while I slowly make progress towards reclaiming my life.

How do you guys push yourself to keep going? I'm scared that I'm never going to get "better," that it's all taking too long for everything to fall into place.

I'm seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist, though I'm trying to get a new psychiatrist as my current one isn't very personable. Just started taking some new medication this morning, so hopefully that'll help.

 

[CheesecakeRecipe]

Y'all ever have one of those nights where you're just hit by the sads?
I can't even figure out why I'm so sad.
Oh well. It's kinda poetic when I just let it wash over me and don't fight it any more. Fighting it made me anxious. Now I'm just sorta at peace in my little pit of sadness.

It all started with being sad that I had a really good time hanging out with friends last night and forgot to take a picture with them. Now that moment is just gone forever.

Then it spiraled.

<3

Hope you're able to ride the storm quickly, Piano. You're always such a huge helpful force in the topic that sometimes I forget you're in the same boat as us. <3

 

[Hylian7]

This is sort of related to this thread, but I've got a problem. My therapist recommended a therapist that specializes in ADHD, however they don't take insurance but give you the forms to file it yourself. It's also expensive, running $325 for the first session and $150 after that. You have to pay up front and file for the reimbursement later. On my insurance the max allowable is something like $120, and it's likely I would have to pay something like $75 for the first session and ~$25 for the subsequent ones. I'm unemployed, still on my parents' insurance. I'm off it at the end of the year because I am 25. I'm not sure if I should look around to find a different ADHD therapist or just do this one and hope I can get somewhere in less than two months.

Fuck insurance.

A little update on this (Yes, I did read the responses to it and I appreciate them, just quoting this post for context):

I looked around for other ADHD specialists that were on my insurance, found plenty that were cheaper and actually on my insurance. Tried to call one Thursday, but no answer so I left a message. Here's to hoping they don't take Columbus Day off and call me back tomorrow, but I think it will likely be Tuesday.

 

[Bright Side of Life]

Originally made for someone who was contemplating suicide (they’re OK now) and now for anyone who feels life is giving them too much crap.

 

[Jordan]

So I had a sleepless night last night.

Tossing and turning in my head, listening to my brain bring me down, remind me of things that I shouldn't be reminded of and genuinely just pushing me to my limits. I contemplated ways of making it shut up, overdose, self harm, suicide but at the end of the day I could never put any of my friends or family through that. I just don't know how much longer I can keep arguing with my brain, it feels like a never ending battle and I just don't know how to stop it.

I'm waiting for my CBT sessions, I'm on 30mg of Propranolol a day as well as 40mg of Citalopram. I don't know if these are the right tablets for me, Citalopram hasn't really helped and I'm at the highest dose they're willing to offer me and propranolol feels like it's doing something, but not an awful lot.

I feel useless and I'm really beginning to struggle.

 

[zeemumu]

Originally made for someone who was contemplating suicide (they&#8217;re OK now) and now for anyone who feels life is giving them too much crap.

I actually just saw this movie for the first time yesterday. It made me understand things a bit better (and got the Bing Bong song stuck in my head, but that's a different story). I also started thinking about one of the post credits scenes where the cool girl in class is faking being cool by wearing eyeshadow, and somehow that jumped-started a chain reaction of realizations that caused the filter that powers feelings of inferiority to break apart. It was...weird, but hey, got that self-worth back.

 

[Piano]

I have come across something else, though. I don't like a lot of the people in my major. I feel like everyone could be divided into two categories: the laid back dudes who don't know everything but are still learning and ask questions when they need to, who are okay, and the people who meet every question with a condescending answer. And on top of that, it's not a very social major. I find it pretty difficult to talk to people inside my major about non-technical stuff, and I definitely can't talk to anyone outside of my major about anything inside of my major because it's boring to talk about. No one wants to hear about how you coded a sliding puzzle tile game. So I rarely have anything to talk about because I'm split between the two and don't truly belong to any group.

Glad you were able to get the administrative error straightened out, zeemumu! As far as people in your program, I'd encourage you to keep two things in mind: what people seem like in class is probably not who they are, and if you're in the program then chances are there are at least a few other people like you who are also in that program. My first time through college I was pretty socially anxious and closed off and thus probably came off as cold to everyone who took classes with me - often I didn't connect with people until I saw them in some capacity outside of class. Connecting with classmates definitely is possible, though, it's a skill like any other that must be chipped away at.

I'm having it in waves. I'll have the initial pang of anxiety followed by the post-anxiety depression. Again, it's the thoughts of my future, regrets, if i'll ever be genuinely happy. I mean, I do have the fleeting moments of elation, but they've only been last a day, two at most. Then i start questioning if my happiness is real or not. Negative feedback loops and the like.

What makes happiness real?

How do you guys push yourself to keep going? I'm scared that I'm never going to get "better," that it's all taking too long for everything to fall into place.

I'm seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist, though I'm trying to get a new psychiatrist as my current one isn't very personable. Just started taking some new medication this morning, so hopefully that'll help.

I'm sorry to hear that you're having such trouble with panic and anxiety, Tapejara. They're no fun. I can assure you, though, that at 22 you're still very young and you've plenty of time to figure things out and figure out a path for yourself. Also, mental health problems tend to be toughest in the early 20s.

I've kept myself going in different ways at different times. At my best, I get myself invested in things that are meaningful that constantly stay in front of me like a carrot on a stick to keep me marching forward. A lot of things can fit this bill, not just school - any sort of meaningful activity. What makes an activity meaningful, of course, will vary from person to person. For me, I've found that meaning is most often built through positive interactions with other people. As much as I am always tempted to shut myself in and not go anywhere I have finally learned that 95% of the time it just makes me feel worse. It may be uncomfortable to be social, but it pays out eventually.

At darker times, it's gotten down to the point where I'm just going because I feel guilty about how much suffering I'd cause my family if I killed myself. My last really long bad period was right around when my grandmother died and I just couldn't imagine putting my mom through another loss.

I hope the medication can help you. There are MANY medications out there for panic attacks and anxiety, so know that if the first one doesn't work for you there are many, many more options to try and certainly there are several that will work well.

Same with psychiatrists. If you do not like your psychiatrist (or psychologist) there are almost always more options out there.

Hope you're able to ride the storm quickly, Piano. You're always such a huge helpful force in the topic that sometimes I forget you're in the same boat as us. <3

Fortunately the sads have subsided a bit today, and I was able to let them wash over me enough last night to get a sense of some new things I need to think about. Just gotta wait and see if it comes back tonight.

A little update on this (Yes, I did read the responses to it and I appreciate them, just quoting this post for context):

I looked around for other ADHD specialists that were on my insurance, found plenty that were cheaper and actually on my insurance. Tried to call one Thursday, but no answer so I left a message. Here's to hoping they don't take Columbus Day off and call me back tomorrow, but I think it will likely be Tuesday.

That's wonderful to hear, Hylian! It may be worth leaving messages for several at a time, just so you can get things moving a bit quicker. I hope you hear back soon!

Originally made for someone who was contemplating suicide (they’re OK now) and now for anyone who feels life is giving them too much crap.

http://i1383.photobucket.com/albums/ah315/Hondo_Nguyen/Suicide20Awareness20PSA20web_zpscksouhqy.jpg[IMG][/URL][/QUOTE]

(A) You're at least 20x better at drawing than I am so
(B) good job and
(C) I loved that movie.

[quote="Jordan, post: 181380536"]So I had a sleepless night last night.

Tossing and turning in my head, listening to my brain bring me down, remind me of things that I shouldn't be reminded of and genuinely just pushing me to my limits. I contemplated ways of making it shut up, overdose, self harm, suicide but at the end of the day I could never put any of my friends or family through that. I just don't know how much longer I can keep arguing with my brain, it feels like a never ending battle and I just don't know how to stop it.

I'm waiting for my CBT sessions, I'm on 30mg of Propranolol a day as well as 40mg of Citalopram. I don't know if these are the right tablets for me, Citalopram hasn't really helped and I'm at the highest dose they're willing to offer me and propranolol feels like it's doing something, but not an awful lot.

I feel useless and I'm really beginning to struggle.[/QUOTE]

What do you usually do when that sort of mindset besets you, Jordan? I'd encourage you not to just stay in bed endlessly, wrestling with the fact that you can't sleep. Sometimes it can really help to get out of bed and sit or lay on the floor, or write out what your mind is racing on about, or even talk out loud to yourself (I do that often) to sort out your thoughts.

CBT is designed to teach you all kinds of great coping mechanisms you can hopefully put to use if these things keep happening. Do you start soon?

<3

 

[Hylian7]

That's wonderful to hear, Hylian! It may be worth leaving messages for several at a time, just so you can get things moving a bit quicker. I hope you hear back soon!

I've been calling every business day starting last Thursday, left 2 or 3 messages and nothing. The place seems like a big psychiatric center, but apparently one thing they don't do is answer phones.

I tried calling another one today, this one seems to be just a private practice rather than a center or some kind. No answer, but I left a message. I figured she probably has Columbus Day off (even though Columbus was an asshole but that's a debate for another day), busy, or might just be the fact I called around 4pm.

 

[Tapejara]

I'm sorry to hear that you're having such trouble with panic and anxiety, Tapejara. They're no fun. I can assure you, though, that at 22 you're still very young and you've plenty of time to figure things out and figure out a path for yourself. Also, mental health problems tend to be toughest in the early 20s.

I've kept myself going in different ways at different times. At my best, I get myself invested in things that are meaningful that constantly stay in front of me like a carrot on a stick to keep me marching forward. A lot of things can fit this bill, not just school - any sort of meaningful activity. What makes an activity meaningful, of course, will vary from person to person. For me, I've found that meaning is most often built through positive interactions with other people. As much as I am always tempted to shut myself in and not go anywhere I have finally learned that 95% of the time it just makes me feel worse. It may be uncomfortable to be social, but it pays out eventually.

At darker times, it's gotten down to the point where I'm just going because I feel guilty about how much suffering I'd cause my family if I killed myself. My last really long bad period was right around when my grandmother died and I just couldn't imagine putting my mom through another loss.

I hope the medication can help you. There are MANY medications out there for panic attacks and anxiety, so know that if the first one doesn't work for you there are many, many more options to try and certainly there are several that will work well.

Same with psychiatrists. If you do not like your psychiatrist (or psychologist) there are almost always more options out there.

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, I'm really hoping the medication will at least get to my point where I'll feel more comfortable doing things. I'm actually being put on Abilify, which will replace my Risperidone (which will hopefully have the added bonus of curbing the weight gain from the Risperidone).

Thankfully, I love my psychologist. She's been helping me out for a year now and there's been some very noticeable improvements, but as I said in my original post, I'm still quite limited in what I can do.

 

[DiddysKongQuest]

Sounds like it's time to cut off communication, DKQ. It sounds toxic at this point.
Sorry it's been such a rollercoaster. Hopefully you can keep an open mind to how much there is to be learned in these sorts of relationship circumstances.

It really is, Piano, but I said that many times before in this thread. I'm scared that we somehow get in contact and she fucks me up once more.

I am really lucky that I have two cousins who live right next to me. They came over on Saturday morning when I felt incredibly shitty and they helped me a lot. Playing games with them for a couple of hours is the best and it's always interesting when they tell me about the hottest new releases on Nintendo consoles. I definitely need to visit them more often and I will definitely buy the Mario Kart 8 DLC for the birthday of the older one next month. He has been asking his mom about it on a daily basis.

I also discovered Radiohead yesterday and Kid A is on repeat. I don't know if I feel better or worse with the music, but I definitely feel something.

 

[Fall Into The GAF]

What makes happiness real?

Good question. I guess it's subjective, right? What makes one person happy would make another miserable type of thing. Honest question here Piano because I do enjoy our back and forth conversations, but what makes you happy? For me, It's the feeling of accomplishment after creating something (and I have severely lacking in that department, at least I think so), new music/game releases, and (I am coming to terms with this one) being sociable as fuck.

i do have happy memories though. Some little, some big, but there's a lot of ehh days and bad ones too. I guess that's normal for people? I just don't want to sully my happiness with vague notions of ever lasting melancholy, you know?

 

[NIGHT-]

I'm in a really bad place right now, it's been a rough month. I'm starting to bald, I have some sort of skin condition and I'm worried sick for my dad, while he's recovering from a heart attack. To top all that off, my ex, who I've been working through things the last month, called and told me she can't have me in her life anymore. This after days and days of her bringing up our time together and still wanting the future we dreamed of. She just laid it all on me during the worst possible time. I have zero self esteem and just feel disgusting. I haven't slept a minute and have work in 4 hours...

 

[dity]

I actually just saw this movie for the first time yesterday. It made me understand things a bit better (and got the Bing Bong song stuck in my head, but that's a different story). I also started thinking about one of the post credits scenes where the cool girl in class is faking being cool by wearing eyeshadow, and somehow that jumped-started a chain reaction of realizations that caused the filter that powers feelings of inferiority to break apart. It was...weird, but hey, got that self-worth back.

Inside Out absolutely ripped through made. Made me remember a lot of feelings, and I cried a lot.

 

[Jordan]

What do you usually do when that sort of mindset besets you, Jordan? I'd encourage you not to just stay in bed endlessly, wrestling with the fact that you can't sleep. Sometimes it can really help to get out of bed and sit or lay on the floor, or write out what your mind is racing on about, or even talk out loud to yourself (I do that often) to sort out your thoughts.

CBT is designed to teach you all kinds of great coping mechanisms you can hopefully put to use if these things keep happening. Do you start soon?

<3

You're a very kind human Piano, you take a lot of time out of your day writing responses to everyone and I'm eternally grateful for this. Thank you for taking an interest in my life.

I normally put in my headphones and just try to drown out the noise in my head, but it just doesn't help. I have tried the whole 'no looking at electronic screens for 15 minutes, eyes closed if you don't fall asleep get up after the 15 minutes' but I argue with myself whether it's been 15 minutes the entire time but refuse to check the time as the only clock I have is on my phone.

I have written my thoughts down and I've said them out loud but this doesn't distract me from it, I end up feeling like I'm taking the piss out of myself even though I'm only trying to help.

I'm on the waiting list for CBT, I have gone through various channels in the NHS to get this far and it's only because I hear voices in my head that I've been put this far.

I will try to sit/lay on the floor next time that I'm wrestling myself to sleep. I've been tempted to try and get into reading or drawing for times like this, but I just lack the motivation at that time of night.

 

[redlegs87]

Had all my appointments yesterday but turns out they scheduled me for the wrong therapist so I only got to meet with mine for 10 min or so before her next appointment. Decided I should start seeing her every two weeks instead of once a month.

I've been having trouble concentrating and getting things done so my meds were upped again in hopes it would level me out and concentrate better. If by next month I don't notice an improvement he said we can try an ADHD med for it.

I dropped another 14 pounds in the last month so I have that going for me to give me another boost up. I can feel the momentum building behind me heading forward and it feels good.

 

[User 479360]

Not having a great couple of weeks because of a moral dilemma that's eating me up inside. I'm afraid I'll go to Hell.

 

[Hermii]

In less than a week I'll be visiting a college friend for two weeks. She asked me a couple weeks ago if I had ever shot a gun, which I have not, and if I would like to since her dad owns a bunch. The thought crossed my mind tonight of using the gun to kill myself. Should I tell her I would rather not do that? I actually would like to try shooting a gun, but the temptation might come...

Fuck insurance indeed. You can try to extend the time on your parent's insurance: mine was for an additional year. I don't know if I can get it another year though...

I suggests you go shoot with her. Shooting is fun and you will be having a good time with your friend, so its unlikely that your going to do it, if for nothing else that you dont want to give your friend a horrible trauma. I often daydream about killing myself, doesn't mean I actually am going to do it.

 

[mkenyon]

Just putting this out there:

If you're in the Puget Sound region of Washington, feel free to PM me if you're having trouble getting in to see someone, or are having trouble finding the right person.

Also, some interesting news for folks who have treatment resistant depression, TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) is now covered by Blue Cross, Regence Blue Shield, United Healthcare, and First Choice. Medicare should be covering it beginning next year.

 

[karasu]

I seriously need something stronger for my anxiety. Buspar is doing fuck all and my shrink is not going to give me Xanax with the other shit I take. It's starting to feel hopeless. I'm doomed to a life of regretful isolation and discomfort.

 

[User 479360]

Someone warned me about Pristiq. She says that, whenever she would feel depressed, her brain would just 'stop.' Apparently it made her feel like she wasn't herself. I've been warned not to ask to go up to 100mg.

I just started it, and have only taken it for just over a week. I accidentally missed one day, though, which is abnormal for me.

 

[Hylian7]

FUCK INSURANCE
FUCK INSURANCE
FUCK INSURANCE


And uh....what was that other thing on my list....uhhh....

Oh yeah...FUCK INSURANCE


My insurance's website's provider search function is useless for searching for anything like ADHD, so going through that is a total crapshoot so I have to go through Google. So far either they aren't doing therapy right now, or don't take my insurance.

 

[mkenyon]

FUCK INSURANCE
FUCK INSURANCE
FUCK INSURANCE


And uh....what was that other thing on my list....uhhh....

Oh yeah...FUCK INSURANCE


My insurance's website's provider search function is useless for searching for anything like ADHD, so going through that is a total crapshoot so I have to go through Google. So far either they aren't doing therapy right now, or don't take my insurance.

This is part of my job. If you need some help, let me know.

Are you looking for a therapist or medication management?

 

[Astral Dog]

do you guys are trying meditation, mindfulness, that sort of thing? i know most likely have done it before. but it can really help i wish i knew how to practice that better.

 

[BlueSummers]

I know some people in this thread are dealing with severe health issues so I don't want to come off as rude, but man sometimes dealing with other peoples health issues is so draining. And not in the sense where I need to take care of them or that it bothers me..more like its killing me inside from the stress. My father has less than a year, ( i posted before and since then I went to see him in Florida and I'm back home after a month.) My long term girlfriend also suffers from seizures and the doctors cannot figure out why.

I live with her and each time she has one it terrifies me. I am so scared of her getting some kind of brain damage. I honestly think sometimes I wish it was me with the health issues. I am so helpless.

 

[DrM]

I have such wonderful coworkers that I will probably beat somebody on Monday.

One of the bastards from other shift (i have a hunch who) reported me to our HR department for walking around the town during my medical leave. It is nice thing that some friends there, so they informed me about this... Well, my doctor said to me, that I should walk every day otherwise I will be stiff as a rock. And I went only to two places where they could have seen me - to grocery store, because I had to buy some food and from central parking lot to doctor's office.

The procedure is now such that I could receive a visit from internal inspection if I am really home. If they will even bother, at least they cannot fire me on spot, because it was verbal report without any other evidence.

And here I am again, wasting whole day thinking why should I endure this shit at workplace any longer. Instead on working on myself, learning German or doing some 3D modelling stuff (which I found very relaxing and I really enjoy doing it).

 

[WhateverItTakes]

GAF, I dunno if I really belong in this thread but...

I'm stressed out right now. Term has barely started yet I'm stressing hard over everything I have to do and beyond. One of those things is internship applications. I've got to spend hours and hours perfecting the same lie on every application- that I'm a cheerful positive person that will be perfect for your workplace!

But I'm not. Well I am some days. But on the other side I'm a bleak sod who mopes around half the time never feeling good enough. I know these thoughts are all distorted and I know a sullen mood is just me crying for attention but I never let anyone help. I'm tired of making my friends worry. I'm frustrated that I can't even manage to mask this so I can function normally. I wish I could see someone but my campus' mental health support is always booked up for at least 3 weeks.

Breathing helps clear my head sometimes, but more often than not the same thoughts rise up again. I know this is all minor stuff that should be pretty manageable, but please. What should I be doing?

 

[Hylian7]

This is part of my job. If you need some help, let me know.

Are you looking for a therapist or medication management?

Therapist, but I eventually got lucky and found one that answered the phone, takes my insurance, and is actually accepting new patients right now.