Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
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Messofanego
Banned
Speaking of, one girl really likes that I've seen Joss Whedon stuff like Buffy and Firefly. She doesn't even remember the incest bit or Jasmine's maggot nightmare fuel face in Angel, so I 1-up'ed her. Thankfully, there is more to her than just that. If you think someone doesn't like Arrested Development is a dealbreaker, wait until you see so many people being really into Big Bang Theory. They're just tv shows. If you get into a relationship, can always show what you consider as great.
Yesterday, I went to that club I posted about. Coincidentally, I recognized one of the OKC users who ghosted me a few weeks ago. (I knew he was a regular there)
I planned on ignoring him, should I meet him there, but I made a split-second decision and introduced myself. Well, turns out he didn't dislike my profile or my message, as I assumed; he simply forgot to reply. He had read my message on the phone while at work and had forgotten about it when he got home.
Funny enough, it turned out that he had visited the same school as I did, in a small town at the other end of the country. So we both had a few funny anecdotes to share. And as we're both software engineers and I'm looking for a job right now, he even gave me his card and suggested to apply at his company, which I had actually already thought about.
Sadly, at some points he and some friends of his formed a small circle and seemed to have some intense conversations, so I didn't want to barge in. Didn't talk to him again that night.
But it was good to hear that it was just a misunderstanding, so I'm gonna ping him today.
I planned on ignoring him, should I meet him there, but I made a split-second decision and introduced myself. Well, turns out he didn't dislike my profile or my message, as I assumed; he simply forgot to reply. He had read my message on the phone while at work and had forgotten about it when he got home.
Funny enough, it turned out that he had visited the same school as I did, in a small town at the other end of the country. So we both had a few funny anecdotes to share. And as we're both software engineers and I'm looking for a job right now, he even gave me his card and suggested to apply at his company, which I had actually already thought about.
Sadly, at some points he and some friends of his formed a small circle and seemed to have some intense conversations, so I didn't want to barge in. Didn't talk to him again that night.
But it was good to hear that it was just a misunderstanding, so I'm gonna ping him today.
Miles Quaritch
Member
You shouldn't judge people by the show they watch, but it's weird how someone doesn't 'get' a TV show, especially one like AD.
It's not exactly Lost levels of inaccessible.
It's not exactly Lost levels of inaccessible.
ZackieChan
Member
Right. It's just a funny show. I don't see what there is to "get."
Maybe there's some Glenn Beck-esque underlying meaning or something that we don't understand.
AlephAlpha
Member
One of my best friends is incredibly well educated and literate, is currently doing his PhD in math and has an amazingly witty sense of humour. On the other hand, he enjoys the Big Bang Theory. So there's that.
ZackieChan
Member
I'm a former Mensa member with 4 college degrees and a great sense of humor, and I enjoy TBBT. Don't tell NeoGaf's Vern - he hates it.
If you watch the us version of the office it makes you a moron. There is a better way!
As a former GATE student that went to a state college and did a liberal arts degree, I don't think I've watched more than 5 minutes of TBBT. I actually enjoy the show though because it means a cute girl is there with me, and she chose it to watch. And as we all know when someone wants to come over and watch tv that is code for smanging. I don't usually make it past opening credits of anything anymore.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
I dislike OKC. The match percentage thing is very restrictive, and I find the same girls are on there for months and months. There seems to be a very small pool of girls actually on there, with no new users.
POF has a much more eclectic mix of people, for better or worse. Can't say I'm having luck with any of them right now. As somebody accurately pointed out, the girl who matched with me on Bumble has said absolutely nothing.
Guess it's going back to the vast potential of meeting somebody in my incredibly busy job :| Just sort of giving up hope at the moment to be honest. It's just been too long, and there's nothing even slightly interesting happening for me in terms of dating. Every time I manage to go out it's the same deal, every girl around my area seems to either have a boyfriend or is pretty repugnant.
POF has a much more eclectic mix of people, for better or worse. Can't say I'm having luck with any of them right now. As somebody accurately pointed out, the girl who matched with me on Bumble has said absolutely nothing.
Guess it's going back to the vast potential of meeting somebody in my incredibly busy job :| Just sort of giving up hope at the moment to be honest. It's just been too long, and there's nothing even slightly interesting happening for me in terms of dating. Every time I manage to go out it's the same deal, every girl around my area seems to either have a boyfriend or is pretty repugnant.
I like the match percentage, there are plenty of people with a high match percentage and it's a wonderful filter in terms of avoiding people with certain ideals.
Works for me anyway. i didn't like PoF when I tried it before, it felt a bit seedy. Willing to give it another shot if you think it's worth it.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
Hm maybe I'm just weird, there's about 10-12 girls above 80% for me that aren't further than 30 miles away. Perhaps I need to move!
POF can definitely be seedy, but I've had some decent conversations on there, moreso than OKC. That said, not had a successful date from POF (gets to the stage where we exchange numbers, then ghosting).
Curious, how many questions have you answered? I've never gone over 200 or so.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
I'll check.... 100 or so. I always thought the more you'd answer the more you'd alienate potential matches, but maybe that isn't the case. I'll answer some more and see if that gets better matches!
I'm doing it now, and my match percentage seems to be slowly creeping up. (239 from 196, it's upped by .1, highest being 99.6, apparently).
It's definitely worth answering more and seeing if things improve.
I watched both! US has some great moments and great for background noise while I do homework or writing; UK is more great overall but it... well, doesn't have a bunch of episodes.
US takes a huge nosedive in the last few seasons tho.
Went twice. I'm not soured on the idea entirely, but I'll never go to another event hosted by the same company. I charmed the host and got access to the match results...it wasn't pretty. If you're a white girl, you're good. If you're anything else, good luck.
Each time I paid $30 and got a single first date out of it. You can get more bang for your buck on Tinder or OKC.
Blitzrules240
Banned
Well I was talking to the social worker this evening and she brought up the Trivia night again, so I knew this is what she was hoping for, so I told her I was down to do it and we'd use teamwork and it would be a good time. So yeah, Trivia night on Tuesday for a first date. Never done one of these but hey, I think we're both going to have a good time.
Should be fun.
Should be fun.
So one of my friends works at a bar and she's brought home one of the waitresses a few times and we've all hung out together and had fun, smoked weed etc. We don't really know each other though, barely aquantances. Would it be too much to show up at her work tomorrow and ask her out? My friend said she could probably get her to go out with me so I'm thinking I cut the middle man out and just do it myself. Maybe order some food, eat and then offer to go out for drinks later?
Don't ask her while she's at work, just wait until the next time she comes over, at least.
timetokill
Banned
I've introduced a lot of people to the show. A LOT. So I've seen a wide variety of reactions.
There are some people that don't "get" things and it's awkward. There was one girl I remember vividly who wouldn't laugh until other people laughed, and she'd come in late on it and sort of force a laugh, and it was just obvious that things were flying over her head. It reminded me why shows used to have laugh tracks.
I was only half-serious originally but this has been an interesting conversation overall
Speaking of which, how much is intelligence important to y'all, and how do you measure it? Is it just ability to keep a conversation going, awareness of current events, education, what? Obviously it'll be practically impossible to nail it down to one thing, but I'm curious how you all approach it personally. I know people that could never get along with somebody who said they didn't care who is elected or couldn't name the current VP for instance.
Knowing who is the VP isn't a sign of intelligence. You can be very smart and not give a shit about politics. I think that you are overthinking all of this intelligence and sense of humor stuff. When dating seriously there are really only two things to worry about, 1) do you get along well? And 2) is the sex good?
After that nothing else really matters, cuz it all kind of falls under the umbrella of those two things. For 1, if she's not "intelligent," i.e. Doesn't know who joe Biden is or doesn't like AD, then you won't get along well right? And for 2, even if she has the whole AD box set and laughs at every word but the sex is terrible then who gives a shit how "intelligent" she is, you'll still be wanking off.
Hmm, I guess I could ask my friend to facilitate a meeting. Maybe go to a bar tonight and work on talking to strangers since I've pumped myself to acting confidently.
I think I posted a while ago about my ex possibly sleeping with my best friend so I'm feeling pretty shitty about everything and want to change that by working on getting some self-confidence. Anyone else just go to a bar alone and have success striking up conversations?
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
WTF...? Why are you going on a date to keep her as a friend?
salty_Josh
Member
/thread
Is your intent to be friends with this girl from the start? Does she understand this? I used OKC for this once and set my profile to "looking for friends" and made it abundantly clear that's all I wanted. I met some cool people.
It's odd if that's the case that you're calling it a date, though.
If you're aiming for the lowest rung because you lack confidence this isn't healthy.
No no, I mentioned that I'm using Tinder to look for friends. My profile says it. But I am technically single too. I don't have anything against the girl though, she's pretty and seems fun.
Last time I did this though, the person turns it into a theatre date and didn't want to just be friends.
Don't cut the middle man. Your friend is actively trying to help you. Let her.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Why are you calling it a date then? Did you call it a date when talking to her? Friends don't go on dates.
She did.
People can go on dates, even if they don't plan on hooking up. We're not friends yet, that's what I'm hoping. I'm not going to say "well if you're interested in me I won't meet up".
I just hope this time it works out.
--
To be fair, I think this is pretty common.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Date is being used more and for more for going out with someone you have no romantic feelings for. It's evolving so people don't get dragged into having to explain things.
Oh, what are you up to tomorrow? I'm going on a date.
Oh, what are you up to tomorrow? I'm going out with someone but it's not a date. We're just going out.
It's just easier. They could say hanging out, but there's the appearances aspect. People want to give off the image that they are dating/actively out in the dating pool and meeting new people. Hanging out can imply you're going to see an old friend.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
I... what?
So, I went on this casual date with a girl I met on OKC and it went very well.
Damn, she looked even better in person! She was very attractive and taller than average which was a surprising plus (I'm about 6'1" and she was just a few inches shorter). She also said I looked 'very handsome' which is great. The only issue is how far she lives (about 70 miles away when she isn't in school this summer) but we found a compromise to meet halfway so neither of us had to do a lot of driving.
Looking forward to setting up another date with her soon.
Damn, she looked even better in person! She was very attractive and taller than average which was a surprising plus (I'm about 6'1" and she was just a few inches shorter). She also said I looked 'very handsome' which is great. The only issue is how far she lives (about 70 miles away when she isn't in school this summer) but we found a compromise to meet halfway so neither of us had to do a lot of driving.
Looking forward to setting up another date with her soon.
The poster wouldn't be the first to use Tinder for friends. I came across those profiles daily. I just swipe left to those people.
Miles Quaritch
Member
I think it's a tiny bit misleading personally, but I've noticed a sharp uptick in the use of date with my friends and my girlfriends friends.
Going to the cinema with friends? It's a date. Going shopping? Date. Going out to lunch? Date. Everything seems to have become date,
Don't get my started on hanging out. I feel like the old guy when I say let's hang out. Chill is apparently now the go-to word for hanging out, at least in my circles.
Let's hang out? Cool, I'll come by tomorrow and we'll chill. Like I just said let's hang out, why you gotta bring in chill for?
Miles Quaritch
Member
They are socialising apps after all, you can use them to find friends, to find dates, to find hook-ups or find someone who is into your fetish.
ZackieChan
Member
I suppose that's fine if both parties are in on it, but it doesn't sound like she is in this case. I feel like it should be very up front that this isn't a romantic date.
In contrast, half the girls I match with here in Beijing just wanna be friends. Get over here, Izunadono.
Well I want to have dinner in new places, try out ice cream, parks and stuff. I also don't like big groups, so I guess I like dates, but I don't want a relationship. If I was really sleezy I would pretend I'm looking for something more.
Sex with strangers sucks (for me), so I avoid those sorts of invites.
If I can say -- for now, I'm specifically looking for people who are culturally Western to be friends. Between where I study and work, no one gets PowerPuff Girl jokes. =(
Sex with strangers sucks (for me), so I avoid those sorts of invites.
If I can say -- for now, I'm specifically looking for people who are culturally Western to be friends. Between where I study and work, no one gets PowerPuff Girl jokes. =(
ZackieChan
Member
But are you making it clear that you DON'T want anything romantic to this girl? I think that's where we're confused, and you're not helping. Female friends are easy as fuck to find - I made 3-4 in Tokyo in just a few weeks. I could have more here in Beijing. I made a couple in Silicon Valley when dates didn't click. But it's respectful to be clear.
At the very least, I can't say for sure that I won't like her. But I already mentioned "friends".
And yeah, I keep making friends in Tokyo when I visit, so when I come back to London I have less people to do stuff with.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Yeah, that's something that should be emphasised a few times so there's no crossed wires. I say few times because the 'let's be friends' statement is something that's used far too frequently by people who have further intentions and it kinda lost its meaning.
this shit is rampant where i live and it's a big part of the reason why i cancelled my plus subscription
and not everyone who's just using it for friendship actually says so on their profile :/
Well, that's an annoying trend. So now when you ask a girl out on a date she may still be unsure about your intentions. Great.
stn
Member
Then again, some people who write they just want "friendship" really just use it as escape card if the date turns out to suck. Well, I was only looking for friends! And then there are some use it so they don't look desperate/slutty/whatever other image they believe dating online will give them.
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